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Anonymous #1

Drug addict, don't know what to do
    #22025691 - 07/31/15 06:51 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Ok let me put it simply, i have never tried a drug and not enjoyed it.

I am not sure what i should do. I try to hang out with my family, but all they ever talk about is negative stuff. They worry constantly. I could give my mom good news and she would find a way to make me worry about something i have no control over. They thrive on fear, they feed off tragedy.

Being around my family makes me want to use drugs, yet i have heard that tight families discourage drug abuse?

:wtf:

I don't know what i should do? My family is supposed to be the ones who help me through these problems, but with the way america works, it only creates a deeper void.

Yin yang twisting apart


FUCK


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Anonymous #2

Re: Drug addict, don't know what to do [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22026098 - 07/31/15 08:34 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

The way I see it, if it's the people around you making you upset constantly and playing a large role in the reasons you turn to drugs, it's time to take your own life into your hands and seek out a new environment. Make yourself a fresh start, give yourself room to breathe. Move out, or move somewhere else, make new friends that live how you want to live; you are who you choose to be around.
Family is important, family will be there for you always. But I know from experience that this can become overwhelming, that sometimes you need to escape it. Personal story: my mom and I have an incredible close bond, we get along amazingly, but if we spend too much time around each other (and I'm talking like if I come home for more than two weeks) we're at each other's throats and can't stand each other. Maybe you have a similar case.
Everything in moderation. Including drugs and love.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Drug addict, don't know what to do [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #22026221 - 07/31/15 09:21 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
The way I see it, if it's the people around you making you upset constantly and playing a large role in the reasons you turn to drugs, it's time to take your own life into your hands and seek out a new environment. Make yourself a fresh start, give yourself room to breathe. Move out, or move somewhere else, make new friends that live how you want to live; you are who you choose to be around.
Family is important, family will be there for you always. But I know from experience that this can become overwhelming, that sometimes you need to escape it. Personal story: my mom and I have an incredible close bond, we get along amazingly, but if we spend too much time around each other (and I'm talking like if I come home for more than two weeks) we're at each other's throats and can't stand each other. Maybe you have a similar case.
Everything in moderation. Including drugs and love.




Thank you for posting man. I am in tears simply from thinking about my situation.

I live with my brother who is medically retired from the military. My mom is his 'caretaker' but i live in my brothers house as well, my mom lives in an apartment attached to his house.

She has threatened my brother, saying that she can say whatever the fuck she wants in court. The VA would back her, she is the 'caretaker' after all.

I just can't stop getting enraged when she says things like 'I can tell the VA whatever i want, i am your caretaker and they will take my word over yours because you have a traumatic brain injury. I am your caretaker'


I told my brother that i would testify in court on his behalf. If she can just make shit up, so can I. and i assured my brother that I would always be on his side. Even if i have to lie.

You ever watch two and a half men? well i am basically allan and charlie is my disabled brother.             

Thats family though right?


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Anonymous #3

Re: Drug addict, don't know what to do [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22026295 - 07/31/15 09:43 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Strike out out your own for a bit, you will enjoy the adventure.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Drug addict, don't know what to do [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #22026305 - 07/31/15 09:47 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I can't leave my brother alone.


People try to take advantage of him when i'm not around


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Anonymous #4

Re: Drug addict, don't know what to do [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #22026332 - 07/31/15 09:57 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
The way I see it, if it's the people around you making you upset constantly and playing a large role in the reasons you turn to drugs, it's time to take your own life into your hands and seek out a new environment. Make yourself a fresh start, give yourself room to breathe. Move out, or move somewhere else, make new friends that live how you want to live; you are who you choose to be around.
Family is important, family will be there for you always. But I know from experience that this can become overwhelming, that sometimes you need to escape it. Personal story: my mom and I have an incredible close bond, we get along amazingly, but if we spend too much time around each other (and I'm talking like if I come home for more than two weeks) we're at each other's throats and can't stand each other. Maybe you have a similar case.
Everything in moderation. Including drugs and love.




This is one of the best posts I've seen in SA lately. It's great advice and has renewed my faith in this subforum.

OP, I found that the best way to deal with a dysfunctional family is to get away. I moved 2000 miles away and family relationships got better. Moving another 1000 miles away now. Distance has made my family dynamic better. We talk on holidays or if someone dies and my life hasn't been any better. I let my wife talk to my in-laws. We both do damage control on our respective families. The less communication and more distance sounds like just what you need.

You sound young... grab a few things, pack some bags, and just gtfo. Don't make a big deal of it, just go your own way.

I wish you the best, OP, and I truly mean it. I suffered for a long time being so close to toxic people.

I don't know who you are (obviously) but this is Dystopia/Dys if you ever want to talk. Just send a PM, I get email alerts when I get one.

Much love man, and shroomy vibes.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Drug addict, don't know what to do [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #22026355 - 07/31/15 10:02 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

My whole point is that I can't leave.

If i just leave, the actions of my mother could result in my brother being put in an assisted living home for the rest of his life. He is only 27 and I won't let that happen, even if i go to jail defending him


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Anonymous #1

Re: Drug addict, don't know what to do [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22026395 - 07/31/15 10:18 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I would willingly sacrifice my own life to improve his.


Thats how deep it has gone, and thats how far my life has gone. I care about him much more than I even care about myself


Edited by Anonymous (07/31/15 10:20 PM)


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Anonymous #5

Re: Drug addict, don't know what to do [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22026426 - 07/31/15 10:27 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Take your brother with you, get legal rights to be his gaurdian.  You can't stay.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Drug addict, don't know what to do [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #22026493 - 07/31/15 10:55 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

You need to go, you can still call your brother and check in.
You're going to need to establish yourself at least a little bit before they will hand over his guardianship.


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Anonymous #4

Re: Drug addict, don't know what to do [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #22026506 - 07/31/15 11:00 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

^ This.

Or learn your rental laws and evict her. She sounds like a disturbed, possibly mentally ill, and this can't be helping your brother.

How does she have the attached apartment and you two have the house?

You can most certainly get conservatorship if you have a leg to stand on. You have every right to fight for it just as she does.

If you can hire an attorney and state your case then maybe things will get better.

How much care does she give him? Does she get money from the state on his behalf? Does it go into a designated account for your brother? Is she spending it properly? It's my understanding there are specific rules to follow and if she breaks just one it makes your case stronger.

Maybe Enlil can help..

By the way, your brother is a hero for serving in the military. I'm terribly sorry he paid a large price. My childhood friend just went through the same thing.


And my apologies for missing some posts. I've had horrible cloudflare errors for like a week now.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Drug addict, don't know what to do [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #22026691 - 08/01/15 12:21 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #4 said:
^ This.

Or learn your rental laws and evict her. She sounds like a disturbed, possibly mentally ill, and this can't be helping your brother.

How does she have the attached apartment and you two have the house?

You can most certainly get conservatorship if you have a leg to stand on. You have every right to fight for it just as she does.

If you can hire an attorney and state your case then maybe things will get better.

How much care does she give him? Does she get money from the state on his behalf? Does it go into a designated account for your brother? Is she spending it properly? It's my understanding there are specific rules to follow and if she breaks just one it makes your case stronger.

Maybe Enlil can help..

By the way, your brother is a hero for serving in the military. I'm terribly sorry he paid a large price. My childhood friend just went through the same thing.


And my apologies for missing some posts. I've had horrible cloudflare errors for like a week now.




All the money is my brothers. He is the one who pays all the bills on the house. my mother recieves 2700 a month for being his caretaker i believe. She has to pay him nothing for living here, i have to pay rent though. She is always convincing him to spend money, i am always trying to get him to do the opposite.

I do anything he asks around the house, when my mom has something that needs to be done, she asks me.

I am just sick of her feeling like she is the top dog when my brother really is.

Just the fact that she is around causes me anxiety and i know she makes my brother feel anxious/paranoid as well. Thats understandable when he tells me some of the stuff she has said or her boyfriends have said when i am not around. Her past boyfriends have been abusive to him, physically. And he is handicapped. If i would have heard about it when the guy was still around, lets just say that guy wouldn't be able to breathe without being in pain

Basically, the caregiver stuff my mom does for him consists of taking him to doctors appointments (1-2 a week max) and any other place he wants to go. Thats pretty much it. She takes him to have his nails and hair cut because he can't do it himself. I can do everything she does for him and more. I have brought this up to her because she was saying how she 'can't take this shit anymore' and wants to move out. I told her to go ahead, i would replace her. This just made her furious. My brother wants me to be his caregiver, because my mom has made it clear that she doesn't want to be around anymore. The only reason she hasn't left is because she hasn't found a man who will take her.

It makes me so mad that she has told him that she can make up whatever she wants and tell it to his doctors. My brother was freaking out about this for over a month when i finally told him what i would do if it came down to it.

I said if she wants to lie, so will I and my lies will tear her apart. It was pretty much the only way i could curb his paranoia, to let him know that i would be on his side no matter what. But I wouldn't even have to lie, the things she or her past boyfriends have done are just unacceptable.


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Anonymous #4

Re: Drug addict, don't know what to do [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22026763 - 08/01/15 01:02 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Setup cameras when you're not around and watch them on a cell phone or tablet, kick the cunt out, clean the place up and rent it out. Nail them to the wall that's very messed up, how and why do humans act like such pieces of shit? I'm so sorry for this situation man, it's not something anyone would ask for. However, I'm really proud of you for this being what makes you a man. You have nothing but the best intentions and you have to stand up for your brother. That's what brothers are for. You'd want to protect him against someone like this and he would do the same for you, right? A friend told me once, "dogs lie with dogs". Get the bitch out and do whatever you think is right, your brother can't do it himself.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Drug addict, don't know what to do [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #22028986 - 08/01/15 03:15 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)



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Anonymous #6

Re: Drug addict, don't know what to do [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #22050604 - 08/05/15 10:12 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

mid twenties man you should go see the world

i want to be married when im like 32 33 not still doing that shit


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