|
Anonymous #1
|
Almost Died Again.
#22013044 - 07/29/15 01:56 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Sometimes I get really down and just can't see why I put up with it all. Recently i've been caring less and less whether I live or die I popped a good deal of xanax last night and blacked out. I wasn't trying to kill myself but I wouldn't mind too much if it had killed me. I've almost died a few times now on a wide range of pills and drugs from xanax to oxycontin to spice i've almost died. I dont get it no matter what I do I live and im just tired im tired of life itself im ready to embrace the devil's clutches. I don't specifically try and kill myself but im suprised im not dead. Why me I don't get it why do I get to live and children die unwillingly everyday. Sometimes I think I am dead and this is my own little version of hell. I dont really care what you guys have to say I just felt like sharing this.
|
Shiithead
Your Huckleberry



Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
|
|
You need to get off the drugs that the powers that be say are good. They are also the ones letting children die unnecessarily as well as keeping you in the dumps. Don't give up. Fight the good fight. This isn't a battle of the flesh. Don't let them win. If you die, all is lost.
--------------------
Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Psalm 12:6 The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Hebrews 11:3 Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear. Revelation 3:11 Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.
|
Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
|
|
It's a chemical imbalance you're feeling because of all the narcotics you've been shoving down your throat. Lay off the bars and oxy for 2 weeks and get out into nature to reconnect with yourself. You're not a lost cause man
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
|
mrbart4444
The mycelium whisperer


Registered: 09/13/14
Posts: 2,266
|
|
if dont die of the overdose the ammount of damage youre doing to your body will and thats a much more worse way to go. Be happy move towns live a little bit man .
--------------------
|
SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
Posts: 8,759
Loc: Ontario, Canada,
Last seen: 2 minutes, 55 seconds
|
|
man i definitely resonant with this post. I know what its like to have relentless depression and anxiety that just doesnt go away, seriously i always dream of just dying so i can finally relax.
Wouldnt take much to fix me though, i suppose i just feel lonely and have been by myself for too long, when i see other people with significant others i have trouble not letting it draw attention to my lack of relationships in my life.. Its just this horribly bad feeling that im wasting away at my prime while watching other people around enjoy the natural course of having relationships and there is little to nothing i can do to fix that. Its just for me i have incredible difficulty cultivating that type of connection with someone. I suppose its just bad luck, but i dunno 
But i have to say based on my experience i am astonished that other people having relationships is so common, In my experience it seems like its almost impossible. im surprised it comes so naturally for others.
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
Edited by SleepyE (07/29/15 03:15 AM)
|
mrbart4444
The mycelium whisperer


Registered: 09/13/14
Posts: 2,266
|
Re: Almost Died Again. [Re: SleepyE]
#22013178 - 07/29/15 03:17 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
You should get a pet man
--------------------
|
SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
Posts: 8,759
Loc: Ontario, Canada,
Last seen: 2 minutes, 55 seconds
|
|
i want a cat
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
|
mrbart4444
The mycelium whisperer


Registered: 09/13/14
Posts: 2,266
|
Re: Almost Died Again. [Re: SleepyE]
#22013186 - 07/29/15 03:21 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Relationships are great but you definitely cant force them . One day you'll meet someone to love. I couldnt imagine living without all my dogs they bring joy to me all the time especially my baby luna
--------------------
|
Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
|
Re: Almost Died Again. [Re: SleepyE]
#22013188 - 07/29/15 03:22 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
My cat died last year had her for 13 years
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
|
SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
Posts: 8,759
Loc: Ontario, Canada,
Last seen: 2 minutes, 55 seconds
|
|
i should hope so lol, i work incredibly hard making sure im as pretty as possible (i.e. Bodybuilding like crazy) but still have a rediculously hard time. thats why i find it amazing the majority has no trouble with it. Sometimes it actually makes me giggle in an ironic sense :lol:
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
Edited by SleepyE (07/29/15 03:33 AM)
|
SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
Posts: 8,759
Loc: Ontario, Canada,
Last seen: 2 minutes, 55 seconds
|
|
Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said: My cat died last year had her for 13 years
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
|
Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
|
Re: Almost Died Again. [Re: SleepyE] 1
#22013214 - 07/29/15 03:37 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Since I was 9 the only sad part about pets is they become your best friends and it's hard to loose those connections you made. As with any long term relationship
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
|
mrbart4444
The mycelium whisperer


Registered: 09/13/14
Posts: 2,266
|
|
Very true losing an animal is as traumatic or even more than losing a family member.
--------------------
|
Ilift
Stranger


Registered: 02/26/13
Posts: 843
Last seen: 4 years, 8 months
|
|
Find your will to live... in the mean time get off xanax and that crap man
“You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.” ― Bob Marley
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Almost Died Again. [Re: Ilift]
#22013290 - 07/29/15 04:39 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Zombi3???
|
Le_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
|
|
For starters, as the others have said, lay of the Xanax. You're depressed anyway, and any depressive drug will just make you more so. Secondly, get some help at your local mental health center. There's certainly no shame in that.
|
m4dScientist
Music Always Helps


Registered: 08/04/14
Posts: 1,616
Last seen: 10 months, 25 days
|
|
hey man.
i get it. youre not necessarily "suicidal", but you welcome the idea of death, and almost wish for it.
the thing is, theres obviously a reason youre still here. i used to be you, drinking and drugging myself to death on a daily basis, cursing whatever power that exists out there that i was still alive in the morning. youre not in hell, youre actually very much alive. n that's why you have all this angst inside. as human beings, we all yearn to be happy. so for you, as was for me, i struggled so hard to be happy, that i felt it was almost impossible, that the misery consumed me, causing this irritation that "ill be miserable forever. whats the point of living like this?"
happiness and unhappiness depend on our actions. nobody other than YOU could make YOU suffer mentally. stop feeding into self pity. the more you succumb to these thoughts, the further you are going to drive your depression.
a wise man once told me, its beautiful and its perfect, even when it sucks. i know its hard to see this now, but its always the struggles that provide us the greatest chance for growth in the future. you will overcome this, and grow from this experience. stop approaching everything with a "poor me" attitude. you will get better my friend, have faith.
+
|
|