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buest
That



Registered: 11/17/12
Posts: 1,289
Loc: Further
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Clinging to any sort of "normal" existance just went out the window
#22009240 - 07/28/15 12:07 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I felt the need to vent a little bit, cause I don't currently have anywhere else to do it.
For those of you that know me, im a experienced tripper and all around drug user. I love people and I love life a lot.
Recently I've stumbled into a few of the most mind boggling, mind bending trips i've ever experienced, that I not only wish I didn't have to experience, but hope nobody else ever has to go through.
This last trip brought me to a place where language was no longer something that helped me or anyone else, it was only a hinderance because the only thing that made sense was the angle and shape and color of the object or experience.
im probably not making any sense, cause thats all i see when i try to replay the experience, just a bunch of nonsense being smushed together. the thing that stood out to me the most during this whole thing, was this data archtype, a small piece of information that i could take and apply to EVERYTHING else and it would just make perfect sense. even now im begging for it to go away, because i know i wont be able to sleep until it does. . . go away.
In any case, you should have seen my delight when i first stumbled upon this idea, it just fit so nicely. . . too nicely, irrilly nice, menacingly nice. it put into question everything ive ever known or thought in such a simple way, that i could no longer be right about anything ever again.
i realize none of this really matters and it probably sounds like a bunch of nonsense garbage to a bunch of people probably as worn out as me. oh well, i just wish i could share the idea without having to put anyone through what i went through to understand it. In any case, talk about a bad trip, last night,
i imagined creepy crawlies all over my room, i could hear them making their noises, i could hear my insides churning from my closet behind me, eminating from a childhood toy, i could see my muscles shifting in the garbage bag next to my door, i found comfort in the lack of comfort there is, just dumb jokes and whatever with my old friend cosmic. . . and this fucking idea like a blanket over everything else is just haunting the shit out of me,
i cant wait until its gone. . . I know i'm just dellusional as fuck, and anyone who knows me knows i have schitzophrenia, but the fact of the matter is, this idea wouldnt be so fucking simple if it werent true, as much as i wish i could share it i doubt i have the ability to do so, that coupled with the fact that it would drive anyone completely insane. . .
i donno, i need to lay down and rest, but i cant help but plug this stupid fucking idea into everything i already know, over and over again just to make sure it works :-\ somebody please make me feel stupid.
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: Clinging to any sort of "normal" existance just went out the window [Re: buest]
#22009254 - 07/28/15 12:10 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Hi Buest. That sounds weird. How's Vegas?
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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buest
That



Registered: 11/17/12
Posts: 1,289
Loc: Further
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: Clinging to any sort of "normal" existance just went out the window [Re: buest]
#22009266 - 07/28/15 12:12 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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like, imagine everything you've ever known, and then you zoom out, and it's shown from a different angle, and at this angle you can find a piece of something that goes along with every other piece that youve never noticed before, and its the same for every piece even though you only have a few samples. yes, i guess, thats kindda what im getting at. oh well, fuck it, im going to bed
sup nicechris, vegas sucks balls, im coming back to cali in less than a month, lol, hope to see you around
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ReposadoXochipilli
Here, there, inbetween



Registered: 08/30/05
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Re: Clinging to any sort of "normal" existance just went out the window [Re: nicechrisman] 1
#22009272 - 07/28/15 12:13 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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sometimes you have to remember it is just drugs in your brain and on occasion they form some disturbing thoughts and feelings, it will go away.
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buest
That



Registered: 11/17/12
Posts: 1,289
Loc: Further
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: Clinging to any sort of "normal" existance just went out the window [Re: buest]
#22009281 - 07/28/15 12:14 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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oh yeah, i had to delete my facebook a while back, ill have to make a new one that isent a joke, hahaha, but i guess facebook is a joke no matter how you look at it
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: Clinging to any sort of "normal" existance just went out the window [Re: buest]
#22009285 - 07/28/15 12:14 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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yeah we'll have to kick it for sure.
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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buest
That



Registered: 11/17/12
Posts: 1,289
Loc: Further
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: Clinging to any sort of "normal" existance just went out the window [Re: ReposadoXochipilli]
#22009297 - 07/28/15 12:16 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
ReposadoXochipilli said: sometimes you have to remember it is just drugs in your brain and on occasion they form some disturbing thoughts and feelings, it will go away.
i understand where you're coming from, and i appriciate the thought, but this is way beyond disturbing, i donno, i should just accept that its all nonsense
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buest
That



Registered: 11/17/12
Posts: 1,289
Loc: Further
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: Clinging to any sort of "normal" existance just went out the window [Re: buest]
#22009315 - 07/28/15 12:18 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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if there was a way to record experience, this one would go in the dumpster real quick, hahaha, ok, gnite/gmorning frands
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EnemaOfState
Chief


Registered: 10/24/13
Posts: 1,210
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: Clinging to any sort of "normal" existance just went out the window [Re: buest]
#22009324 - 07/28/15 12:21 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Don't try to "chase the white rabbit". Some trips are just uninterpretable and it just hurts your brain to try.
Sometimes yah just have to say "well that was a weird fucking trip" and carry on.
-------------------- A Pretty Big Grizmatik Undergroundzies Conspiracy Too weird to live. Too rare to die.
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TheGreenArrow
Goodbye, Mr. Chops.



Registered: 06/22/12
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Re: Clinging to any sort of "normal" existance just went out the window [Re: EnemaOfState]
#22009649 - 07/28/15 01:16 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I'm pretty sure Lao Tzu tried to describe this feeling.
-------------------- A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs
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