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glimpee
Awakening



Registered: 12/08/14
Posts: 734
Last seen: 5 years, 8 months
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I've had 2 reality breaks, and theyve been glorious
#22009040 - 07/28/15 11:18 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I wanna say foremost that the last thing I wanted to do was "brag" about what is happening to me. That's not what this is. I just put words on it to make people click.
So the other day I took 12 tabs of what happened to be RC's and had a break in reality. I would hallucinate people were telling me things they wern't and there was a bunch of intricute "games" I made up that question the very fundamental values of the universe we live in...
I forgot about some of the amazing things I saw while on that trip. Because I lost control and went to the hospital
Well I was tripping again, on a much smaller dose on some pure LSD I was careful to test this time, I realized the world was more malleable than usual. I've found that since my first psychotic break, I trip a lot harder when I do. My brain now opens up completely and fires on all caliburs
That said things can get funky if I dont clear my headspace up
There were times where I thought I was literally a reality of my own creation, floating around space actually alone, only creating visuals and audio. Hoping to play "God." Like as if I created everything around us to convince myself of a little time-passer.
I had a few other ideas of what was happening, other reality-breaking realizations
Eventually I just realized that I wasn't "Ascending" or anything, but instead I was having another psychotic break
For this little bit it was like everything I experienced was put through a filter that my mind would slightly alter to make things correspond with my trip - thats what losing touch with reality is kinda, just not knowing what's real and what isnt
Well I thought I was gonna have some permanent damage, but I don't. I got kinda excited too that I would keep my break. It was manageable. And the things I saw....
Holy shit the things I saw....
And ever since that break.... every trip has brought back feelings from that bad break. But I think it's gonna be OK. I think I had to face that demon and tame it - because I still have a leash on reality now
-------------------- Just because I am arrogant does not mean I forget my place. It is how I choose to talk. I am not a monk. I am my own path, and I am without influence. Talk to me about my core being before you question my mental stability or life-choices. Chances are, they're only shocking to you because they don't fit your idea of what is.
Check out my Art Journal for some stuff I do http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/21647069
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,819
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Re: I've had 2 reality breaks, and theyve been glorious [Re: glimpee] 1
#22009059 - 07/28/15 11:25 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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glimpee, 
Why are you saying psychotic breaks are "glorious?" As if to brag about them? You in all likelihood did do permanent damage. This post and others have convinced me that your attitude about spirituality is deeply flawed and that you are going about your 'journey' in the wrong way. Please, for your sake, stop being so irresponsible. Hallucinations are not something to be rooted for.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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deff
just love everyone



Registered: 05/01/04
Posts: 9,406
Loc: clarity
Last seen: 24 minutes, 45 seconds
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Re: I've had 2 reality breaks, and theyve been glorious [Re: glimpee]
#22009089 - 07/28/15 11:36 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I agree with DQ that psychotic breaks really imo are not something to seek out or be proud of be loving to yourself glimpee, and be careful - psychosis is usually quite debilitating of a condition, even more so if it's permanent. best wishes to you
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glimpee
Awakening



Registered: 12/08/14
Posts: 734
Last seen: 5 years, 8 months
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Re: I've had 2 reality breaks, and theyve been glorious [Re: DividedQuantum]
#22009110 - 07/28/15 11:41 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
DividedQuantum said: glimpee, 
Why are you saying psychotic breaks are "glorious?" As if to brag about them? You in all likelihood did do permanent damage. This post and others have convinced me that your attitude about spirituality is deeply flawed and that you are going about your 'journey' in the wrong way. Please, for your sake, stop being so irresponsible. Hallucinations are not something to be rooted for.
"I wanna say foremost that the last thing I wanted to do was "brag" about what is happening to me. That's not what this is. I just put words on it to make people click."
"I wanna say foremost that the last thing I wanted to do was "brag" about what is happening to me. That's not what this is. I just put words on it to make people click."
omg can u read
I think a lot more about all of this shit than jsut trying to look cool for a bunch of random people (half of which are stupid bum-faces) but my writing style and thinking process get judged for my "outside" way of lookin at things
While the first break was bad, the 2nd wasnt. In fact it was me more convincing myself I was having a psychotic break. And if anyone came to talk to me? I was ready. I knew how to act around people that time. Nothing could EVER make me swing without thinking again. Even if I DID develop psychosis, I made sure I kept the distinction that I just WONT swing on ANYTHING
The psychotic breaks really scared me. Thats why I'm here
I'm saying they were "glorious" as click bait. So people know this was a "good" experience - not a harmful one. I'll be talking to friends later about all of this and I'll let you know if they think I'm permanently fucked from this one (I was OK last time)
BTW this psychotic break stuff is in a big way spiritual to me. Because I'm realizing 1 type of existence. The existence where everything is as the man says it is, but we create all this spirituality to make it seem interesting and worthwhile.
These psychotic breaks are allowing me greater control of my mind than ever before - when I get in the zone for them. I can create the most vivid images, feel the most intricate things (like fucking being a universe)
Im sorry but the 2nd break was a wonderfully dissosiative experience with no negative side effects.
And just so you know champ -
I've been trying to make my mind able to hallucinate since day 1. I know this could be dangerous - but I really think this is the only way I can explore spirituality past the body and into the soul. As I master my perceptions I can master the rest of my core being. Eventually, I should be able to do things like separate body from soul - at least if those possibilities exist. It is the quest for knowledge about what lives beyond that drives me, and I've already givin my sanity away
I just need to learn from the first break and think before acting. That was the biggest flaw, there was no subconscious to 2nd guess myself, everything was too fast.
Thanks for the help
-------------------- Just because I am arrogant does not mean I forget my place. It is how I choose to talk. I am not a monk. I am my own path, and I am without influence. Talk to me about my core being before you question my mental stability or life-choices. Chances are, they're only shocking to you because they don't fit your idea of what is.
Check out my Art Journal for some stuff I do http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/21647069
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glimpee
Awakening



Registered: 12/08/14
Posts: 734
Last seen: 5 years, 8 months
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Re: I've had 2 reality breaks, and theyve been glorious [Re: deff]
#22009128 - 07/28/15 11:46 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
deff said: I agree with DQ that psychotic breaks really imo are not something to seek out or be proud of be loving to yourself glimpee, and be careful - psychosis is usually quite debilitating of a condition, even more so if it's permanent. best wishes to you 
the reason I'm here is that these experiences were so... good... in many ways
I need to figure out the difference between spirituality, reality, and imagination.
But I use my perceptions as an opening to my soul. Or i've been trying to use perceptions to help me open up for bigger experiences.
Theres a part of me that wants to persue these psychotic breaks, because of the ammount of sheer creation possible. When one loses touch with what is real, their mind really takes over hard. When you convince youself you created all reality, you can really believe it
But so if I DID persue it, the goal would be to understand psychotic breaks and control them. Know how to trigger/detrigger them. Know how to properly act during a break as to not fuck with alternate "realities" (the true reality)
I think I could safely persue it. But if I did I feel like I'm also turning my back on spirituality so I can be alone with my completely open-mind
I really should have worded my post in a less arrogant way though. I tried to explain it with that first sentence but people wont believe that I'm not trying to brag
if i was tryna brag I would be telling my friends not you clowns
-------------------- Just because I am arrogant does not mean I forget my place. It is how I choose to talk. I am not a monk. I am my own path, and I am without influence. Talk to me about my core being before you question my mental stability or life-choices. Chances are, they're only shocking to you because they don't fit your idea of what is.
Check out my Art Journal for some stuff I do http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/21647069
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glimpee
Awakening



Registered: 12/08/14
Posts: 734
Last seen: 5 years, 8 months
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Re: I've had 2 reality breaks, and theyve been glorious [Re: glimpee]
#22009559 - 07/28/15 12:56 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I just wanna say I dont think this stuff is a joke. Because of this Im now sewking a therapist or someone to talk to who is versed in mental illness and spirituality
Hard part is going to find someone who understands and supports my journey, at least someone who will help me safely continue
-------------------- Just because I am arrogant does not mean I forget my place. It is how I choose to talk. I am not a monk. I am my own path, and I am without influence. Talk to me about my core being before you question my mental stability or life-choices. Chances are, they're only shocking to you because they don't fit your idea of what is.
Check out my Art Journal for some stuff I do http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/21647069
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