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Offlinespaceeatr
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i am confused please help me
    #22007677 - 07/28/15 12:49 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

so i feel pretty lost for once...


i barely even know where to start..

it just seems that my mind if so powerful and reality seems at time to be merging with another.

i seem to of lost my light and direction.

i am hearing voices.

i feel like i have let down mother nature and love itself.

i feel i have went too far and can't turn back.

i have lost my will to be love and i am confused that my intuition seems to be more echoed i my surroundings than an actual feeling.

so much is happening and i dont know if it can be disclosed online..

but i feel sometimes i am walking into death but then at other times i wonder if the voices / flow is tricking me.

i can't ever pay my spiritual debt?

or i can but it feels like i have to die..


it feels like the right thing.

but then i dont know.

how do i hear my voice/inutiation again and know that i am on the right path???


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22007691 - 07/28/15 12:55 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

:lsdabc:


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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Offlinespaceeatr
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22007734 - 07/28/15 01:16 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

? :/


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22007751 - 07/28/15 01:30 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Have you been taking any hard drugs that might make you act this way i.e methamphetamine or the like


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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Offlinespaceeatr
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22007757 - 07/28/15 01:35 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

No.... i wish i could say more :/


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Offlinespaceeatr
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22007765 - 07/28/15 01:38 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

i can hear violent sceanario happening all around me...

but all around me is also another sceanario they day to day life i am living

but violent scenario is loud and echoes through the atmosphere


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22007769 - 07/28/15 01:39 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Is this the first time you've heard voices? Are you taking any drugs at all? If so I would say just take a long break and see if your thought pattern doesn't change.


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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Offlinespaceeatr
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22007771 - 07/28/15 01:40 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

aliens?
truth?
distraction?

how do i find my feelings?

my feelings sometimes are that i should just blend with my environment and float away?


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Offlinespaceeatr
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22007777 - 07/28/15 01:42 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I feel before I cared so much about the earth and love in every moment/ action. but i have dumbed myself to sleep and become an apathetic loser. how do i even feel after going so bad?


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Offlinespaceeatr
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22007780 - 07/28/15 01:43 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

thanks for the advice :smile:

Uhm.. it all started late last year and has come and gone.

but my intention at the time was to face the truth and do the right thing.

then voices and all kinds of stuff has been happening.

but the voices usually involve death.


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Offlinespaceeatr
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22007784 - 07/28/15 01:45 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

or maybe more an urgency to get off the self destructive path i have been going down..


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22007785 - 07/28/15 01:45 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

:sad: how old are you? Schizophrenia usually starts in your late teens to early twentys


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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Offlinespaceeatr
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22007794 - 07/28/15 01:55 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Heh, I'm 25.. I feel like I'm living my life backwards in a stage.. I never really conformed as a teenager or adult.. until recently.

but that also made me pretty antisocial...

Now I feel like I touached on the ultimate reality of oneness a year or two ago. But I freaked out at the overwhelming nature of it and have been burying it in blindness.

In other words I'm a selfish idiot.

I have to go back on this path to the truth i.e life / reality, but I've been avoiding all the pain that comes with the truth...


and the responsibility and have made myself totally stupid.

Now I am more likely to let other people control me and tell me what i right or wrong rather than listen to my own voice.

Because I know that my own voice probably equals me being alone in the wild and killed peacefully by the earth.. drifting into my surroundings.

cause i dont know how to a human being anymore and i've found that most human beings are either really good ( and i can no longer relate) or just as useless as me or dangerous.


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OfflineLove_spirit
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22007803 - 07/28/15 02:00 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Now I feel like I touched on the ultimate reality of oneness a year or two ago




Quote:

I feel before I cared so much about the earth and love in every moment/ action.




This is who you truly are.


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: Love_spirit]
    #22007814 - 07/28/15 02:05 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

:whathesaid: go out in nature and find your true self. You're never really gone just lost


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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Offlinespaceeatr
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22007827 - 07/28/15 02:14 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

thankyou for your advice :smile:

but when i am in nature my mind/ (maybe) is so loud that i start hearing my thoughts echoed in all of my surroundings... the wind, the birds, everything.. :/


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22007833 - 07/28/15 02:15 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Are these your thoughts in your head or is it like someone else is talking to you?


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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OfflineLove_spirit
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22007837 - 07/28/15 02:18 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

You just need to tune into the right frequency. :heart:


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Offlinespaceeatr
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22007841 - 07/28/15 02:20 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

it's like lots of people are talking..


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Offlinespaceeatr
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: Love_spirit]
    #22007846 - 07/28/15 02:22 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

thank you :smile:

i may be learning this.. i just double guess a lot.. because i hear voices in trouble when i feel in a neutral mood..


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22007889 - 07/28/15 02:50 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

You don't have to believe everything you think.


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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Offlinespaceeatr
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: Amanita86]
    #22010156 - 07/28/15 02:55 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

it's definately not my thoughts alone, the sounds have echoes and use different creatures and sounds and then work with them to speak.

my entire reality is becoming sound


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Offlinespaceeatr
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22010193 - 07/28/15 03:01 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

As I get closer to the earth and try to get more grounded the voices get worse, they are really blunt but they basically tell me that I am fucked and to get into the wild


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22010200 - 07/28/15 03:03 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Feel like you're trolling now


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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Offlinespaceeatr
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22010269 - 07/28/15 03:15 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

No I'm not trolling.

I just opened my mind through will late last year and have had a range of ridiculous experiences since.

entities aliens etc.

But the main thing is that I had the REAL experience of the ultimate reality and what should have been my death (I belive) about a year and a half ago.

Since avoiding the higher truth I have been on a selfish destructive path and have pissed off the spirits or something.

Now It seems like I really am doomed, like I'm almost not a human being anymore.

This morning I had my families voices come right to my face and tell me that they are leaving soon.

It popped my bubble, cause I've been so destructive, and pushing them away and it's basically ruining them. It's like I've murdered thier spirits.


So.. I don't know

Seriosuly so much fucked up stuff has happened since last year I wouldn't even know where to start nor would I safely be able to type it over the internet


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Offlinespaceeatr
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22010289 - 07/28/15 03:18 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I've went too far, my family are heartbroken because of me, i treated them like shit.


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22010306 - 07/28/15 03:20 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Go to the hospital! Sounds like you have a serious mental illness


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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Offlinespaceeatr
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22010314 - 07/28/15 03:21 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

And the worst thing is I am hurting my brother the most, who is the person who is most important to me, I think I've killed his spirit.


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22010323 - 07/28/15 03:22 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Good luck. I gave my advise


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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Offlinespaceeatr
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22010326 - 07/28/15 03:23 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

No, I don't I just opened some kind of door, and am dealing with really wierd experiences,


thanks :smile:


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Invisiblespock
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22010555 - 07/28/15 04:11 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Rebelutionsssss said:
Go to the hospital! Sounds like you have a serious mental illness



This. OP, you will not get the help that you need here. Talk to a doctor.

Peace and be safe.
Spock


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Invisiblesudly
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22011080 - 07/28/15 06:01 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

spaceeatr said:
No I'm not trolling.

I just opened my mind through will late last year and have had a range of ridiculous experiences since.

entities aliens etc.

But the main thing is that I had the REAL experience of the ultimate reality and what should have been my death (I belive) about a year and a half ago.

Since avoiding the higher truth I have been on a selfish destructive path and have pissed off the spirits or something.

Now It seems like I really am doomed, like I'm almost not a human being anymore.

This morning I had my families voices come right to my face and tell me that they are leaving soon.

It popped my bubble, cause I've been so destructive, and pushing them away and it's basically ruining them. It's like I've murdered thier spirits.


So.. I don't know

Seriosuly so much fucked up stuff has happened since last year I wouldn't even know where to start nor would I safely be able to type it over the internet





I met a guy on the street like this once, he told me he had experienced death and was a living zombie, turns out he was schizophrenic.

You said you felt you had to repay your spiritual debt. Do you feel like you have sins?


--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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Offlinespaceeatr
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: sudly]
    #22011694 - 07/28/15 07:49 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

first of all thanks everyone for your input.

I feel I've probably written this entire thing really badly and it's kind of just a mess.

So there is WAY more to it than simply using the label of a mental illness.

It doesn't make sense the way that I have posted it.

But that's ok.

Cheers for your opinions :smile:


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: spaceeatr]
    #22011772 - 07/28/15 08:07 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Talking about hearing voices and stuff that aren't there :shrug: what are we suppose to say?


--------------------
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To define is to confine.


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OfflineTrippieHunter
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Re: i am confused please help me [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22013048 - 07/29/15 01:57 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

If you want people to be able to respond and help you need to be honest and tell us whats actually going on, otherwise no one can really understand wtf you are talking about.


--------------------
Just remember keep the camera rolling and
FILM THE POLICE!!! CLICK ME

WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON? CLICK ME TOO!

Let it go and you will trip into wonderland!


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