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Anonymous #1
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Just...fucking rant pity party
#21997682 - 07/25/15 11:02 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Went out last night. Get inside at the crowded club for an artist I want to see. Go upstairs to the bar and it's kind of packed. I find an opening and there is this chick standing way too far from the bar for someone who needs a drink so I ask her if she is trying to get a drink, (so that she can get the fuck out of the way if not). She is gorgeous like 8/10 sexy dress and all that - whatever. She starts making small talk with me but I am just not really paying attention. I don't know what to say to her I kind of blank/don't really care. I let her walk away after she gets her drinks even though she smiles and says bye. I didn't even ask her name or if she wanted to dance. Knew I had a great opportunity and just fucking blew it because I am so self-absorbed in my own sorrow and afraid to talk to women anymore.
I know it's just one girl but it just infuriates me that I am like this. I am so tired of being alone on so many levels. I haven't had sex since feb. I turned down a few chicks since then but who am I kidding it's not like they were even attractive enough to get my dick up so I'm not really a player or anything I try to make myself believe. I am just crippled by fear and the constant self-devaluation that plays through my mind. Shitty thing is the only thing that makes me feel happy anymore is getting to know a girl romantically but I struggle with finding someone willing.
Beautiful girls all around me on the dance floor with their friends or lovers. I don't approach girls on the floor anymore. I like dancing with and without someone but I just feel creepy approaching chicks there now. When I was younger I had no problem and once out of 5 times maybe they would reject me but now that fear stops me. Just fear fear fear all throughout my life every moment is over-analyzed and my reaction is adjusted to my fears.
I don't want to fucking live like this. I don't want to fucking drift through my years and miss out on all the women I could be with. I don't want a "good day" to be one where I don't wish I was dead. I want to be happy before it's over. That's what I am holding out for...that one day I will be happy. We all struggle with something...some people are addicted to cigarettes, some to food...me, I just can't figure out how to be happy.
Edited by Anonymous (07/25/15 11:13 PM)
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Just...fucking rant pity party [Re: Anonymous #1]
#21997698 - 07/25/15 11:06 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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hmm, well sorry for ya bruh.
I am so burnt out from heroin addiction I could care less about pussy, even though I know I want it sometimes I am just to burnt out. I hope the PAWS gets better so that I might be able to be a normal person around some ladies, but that seems so far away.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Just...fucking rant pity party [Re: Anonymous #2]
#21998037 - 07/26/15 12:38 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Stop being a poonface
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sun_spots
Good boob day


Registered: 02/27/10
Posts: 14,306
Loc: Nirvana
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Just...fucking rant pity party [Re: Anonymous #1] 2
#21998890 - 07/26/15 08:46 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Seek professional help for your obvious crippling depression. Good luck.
-------------------- ShiVersblood said: shut ur fucking mouth. before a penis is are be enters LordSenate said: Cheese poop... Who gives a fuck gotta eat lots of cheese.
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Anonymous #4
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Re: Just...fucking rant pity party [Re: sun_spots]
#22003939 - 07/27/15 11:04 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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i dont pity your situation you wrote of. you went to a show and didnt leave with a dirty whore. you didnt hook up and catch an STD, you didnt have a drink thrown at you, nothing to pity here.
but i do pity the way you use your mind against yourself. last time you had a woman, were you actually happy? you need to deal with your depression dude, or youll never LET yourself be happy or have a proper romantic connection.
Not talk about dealing with it, actually DEALING with it you want to be happy DO IT
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empty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Just...fucking rant pity party [Re: Anonymous #4]
#22004152 - 07/27/15 11:55 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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--------------------
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Just...fucking rant pity party [Re: empty space]
#22004160 - 07/27/15 11:58 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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It happens man. Not everyone can be lady killers like 99% of the population acts like. The right person will eventually stumble upon you and be just as shy
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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Anonymous #5
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stop jerking off
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Anonymous #6
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Re: Just...fucking rant pity party [Re: Anonymous #1]
#22006977 - 07/27/15 09:25 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I kind of get you except for the part about picking girls up at clubs/shows/festivals. That just feels dirty to me.
I have been hit on countless times and pretty obvious ones too. I always just play it down. It is only when a topic of discussion that I am well aware of, or maybe working out that I am like, what up bitch?(not literally)
I have missed out on so many really wonderful women that blah blah blah. I have a hearing issue. Fuck it.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Just...fucking rant pity party [Re: Anonymous #6]
#22007800 - 07/28/15 01:56 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Thanks for the replies yall. I just beat myself up HARD over everything, especially with women. I scrutinize every detail.
The shai labuff thing is hilarious I watched all the remixes a few weeks ago.
Yeah, I don't really hook-up with women when I go out. I mean, i did meet a girlfriend at a show one time but we clicked like magic. I would hook-up with women when I go out more frequently but I just don't really try. I either am trying to have a good time, having a good time or just want to go home, never really looking for women because I don't know how to seduce a woman at a bar. I wish I did. I feel super boring talking to people I don't know and just criticize myself to the point of not being able to think clearly. I feel much better going out with familiar people and doing something where I don't have to talk to people like music and dancing. I am a fun person but I am crippled in many situations by my mind. I can be the life of the party one second and the next just feel like a loser that just can't get things right.
On the positive side, I am going to fuck my ex all day tomorrow. And all night. And all the next day. She is such an excellent fuck. And just have a great time seeing old friends.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Just...fucking rant pity party [Re: Anonymous #1]
#22007804 - 07/28/15 02:00 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Not sure how to get un-depressed. I try to do things that make me happy and healthy but old habits die hard. I fall in and out of wellness and treating myself like garbage. Ayahuasca is on my to do list for next year. I feel it will benefit me greatly, but I also need to learn to be greatful for what I have and stick with my healthy habits. I have just been in such a rut with my home and job. Makes me not want to get up in the morning.
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tripN
Novice psychonaut


Registered: 06/27/15
Posts: 79
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Quote:
Anonymous said: I have missed out on so many really wonderful women that blah blah blah. I have a hearing issue. Fuck it.
Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said: The right person will eventually stumble upon you and be just as shy
OK when? 1,2,5,10,20+ years
-------------------- Keep calm and trip on
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empty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Just...fucking rant pity party [Re: tripN]
#22011241 - 07/28/15 06:25 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
tripN said:
Quote:
Anonymous said: I have missed out on so many really wonderful women that blah blah blah. I have a hearing issue. Fuck it.
Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said: The right person will eventually stumble upon you and be just as shy
OK when? 1,2,5,10,20+ years
Probably when you stop waiting and just do it.
--------------------
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tripN
Novice psychonaut


Registered: 06/27/15
Posts: 79
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: Just...fucking rant pity party [Re: empty space]
#22011385 - 07/28/15 06:45 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
empty space said:
Quote:
tripN said:
Quote:
Anonymous said: I have missed out on so many really wonderful women that blah blah blah. I have a hearing issue. Fuck it.
Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said: The right person will eventually stumble upon you and be just as shy
OK when? 1,2,5,10,20+ years
Probably when you stop waiting and just do it.
Big difference between another piece of ass and "the RIGHT person"
I hunt for it but have not yet found the right person, don't think I will, hopefully I'm wrong.
-------------------- Keep calm and trip on
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saralove



Registered: 10/01/13
Posts: 1,068
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Re: Just...fucking rant pity party [Re: tripN]
#22011441 - 07/28/15 06:55 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
tripN said:
I hunt for it but have not yet found the right person...
because you're chasing sweety.
forget this hunting business from now on I command you to attract.
Attract! Attract! Attract us to you damnit!
--------------------
Listening to: emancipator - baralku tour (live) | AMU
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tripN
Novice psychonaut


Registered: 06/27/15
Posts: 79
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: Just...fucking rant pity party [Re: saralove]
#22011495 - 07/28/15 07:06 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
saralove said:
Quote:
tripN said:
I hunt for it but have not yet found the right person...
because you're chasing sweety.
forget this hunting business from now on I command you to attract.
Attract! Attract! Attract us to you damnit!

Can put that in really plain English, I'm super high
-------------------- Keep calm and trip on
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saralove



Registered: 10/01/13
Posts: 1,068
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Re: Just...fucking rant pity party [Re: tripN]
#22011624 - 07/28/15 07:34 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Well I'm not gonna spoonfeed you.
Come back here when you're sober cheech.
Mkay.
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Listening to: emancipator - baralku tour (live) | AMU
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tripN
Novice psychonaut


Registered: 06/27/15
Posts: 79
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: Just...fucking rant pity party [Re: saralove]
#22011641 - 07/28/15 07:38 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Ohhhh ok you mean I should attract (get lady's to come for me)?
-------------------- Keep calm and trip on
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Just...fucking rant pity party [Re: saralove]
#22011647 - 07/28/15 07:40 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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when the time comes you and your soulmate will just meet and know.... Maybe when you're getting coffee, going to work, shopping... It'll just happen.
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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tripN
Novice psychonaut


Registered: 06/27/15
Posts: 79
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said: when the time comes you and your soulmate will just meet and know.... Maybe when you're getting coffee, going to work, shopping... It'll just happen.
I think it's when and IF.
I would like to know more from saralove about attracting. I'm willing to learn it and try it out.
-------------------- Keep calm and trip on
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