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OfflineSoulidarity
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Dont fart in the bed man * 1
    #21993887 - 07/25/15 07:09 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I've been Dutch ovening the shit out of my bed lately and haven't even been wofting out the smell or moving the blankets to the side and farting out. Just dropping my guts into the doona and the smell stays trapped.

And it's fucked cos you wake up smelling of wet fart. And your whole room literally smells of ass because of it. And if I accidentally leave my wardrobe slider thing open then all my clothes smell of butt gust too.

So hold onto your farts or fart in someone else's room or something cos the shit stinks bad.

Anyone else have this problem?


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InvisibleZombi3
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: Soulidarity]
    #21993903 - 07/25/15 07:19 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no


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Offlinetwelvelookslikeu
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: Zombi3] * 1
    #21993906 - 07/25/15 07:20 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

But I like my farts


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OfflineCujllickduo
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: twelvelookslikeu]
    #21993911 - 07/25/15 07:24 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

:ducklol:


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Offlinenicechrisman
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: Soulidarity]
    #21993916 - 07/25/15 07:28 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)



--------------------
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Offlinemy3rdeye
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: nicechrisman]
    #21993940 - 07/25/15 07:40 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Lately I have been livening up my morning commute by farting on crowded rush hour train. I wait for the train with no AC because you can't open windows. Then I drop bomb at spot where train has to wait for a min or two. The non moving train makes it seem more hellish, more like the people are just caught there. I also give people dirty looks like they probably did it, just to throw people off my track.
It's my only psychopathic habit really. I get nothing out of it, and it hurts others but I still do it. Maybe its like Alfred the butler said: Some people just want to watch the world burn.


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OfflineTNK
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: my3rdeye]
    #21993944 - 07/25/15 07:43 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

my3rdeye said:
Lately I have been livening up my morning commute by farting on crowded rush hour train. I wait for the train with no AC because you can't open windows. Then I drop bomb at spot where train has to wait for a min or two. The non moving train makes it seem more hellish, more like the people are just caught there. I also give people dirty looks like they probably did it, just to throw people off my track.
It's my only psychopathic habit really. I get nothing out of it, and it hurts others but I still do it. Maybe its like Alfred the butler said: Some people just want to watch the world burn.




:ilold:


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Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)


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Invisiblethizzlemaniac
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: Soulidarity]
    #21994793 - 07/25/15 11:28 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I fart so often its like im getting paid to do it, thankfully my lady doesn't mind too much


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InvisiblezZZz
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: thizzlemaniac] * 1
    #21994800 - 07/25/15 11:30 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

never get off the boat


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OfflineDrMambo
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: thizzlemaniac] * 1
    #21994806 - 07/25/15 11:30 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

This thread made my day. Thank you very much.

I texted a friend just the other day, "If only farts were currency"


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OfflineSunnyD
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: Soulidarity]
    #21994866 - 07/25/15 11:44 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

my farts generally don't smell too bad,
I have a healthy diet though :shrug:


they can be sometimes
but not usually


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OfflineSoulidarity
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: my3rdeye] * 1
    #21994877 - 07/25/15 11:46 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

my3rdeye said:
Lately I have been livening up my morning commute by farting on crowded rush hour train. I wait for the train with no AC because you can't open windows. Then I drop bomb at spot where train has to wait for a min or two. The non moving train makes it seem more hellish, more like the people are just caught there. I also give people dirty looks like they probably did it, just to throw people off my track.
It's my only psychopathic habit really. I get nothing out of it, and it hurts others but I still do it. Maybe its like Alfred the butler said: Some people just want to watch the world burn.




I know this feel. I fart on trains all the time. I've made threads on here about farting on people's faces on the train who were able bodied people who chose to sit in the disabled seating. For further info search for a thread called "today I filled my role as karmic retributor" if you want to laugh some.

But there is something primally satisfying that you are subjecting another person to the smell of your anus. It's kind of like domination in a way how you fart and you force then to know: that's what my shit smells like fucko. And there's so many variations on it too. As you said, the silent blame game where you're all shocked like ' cmon guys that's just not on ' or my favourite where you just blatantly let that trombone goodness flow all thug lyf that's the sound of my anus hear me roar.

And even shit like battle shits in public toilets is similar. For more lulz search for a thread called "the battleshits battle log". I'd link but I'm on my phone and phones are shit for all that jazz


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OfflineSoulidarity
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: SunnyD]
    #21994880 - 07/25/15 11:48 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

My farts get bad when I eat a lot of protein which is most times so yeah, my farts are pretty diabolical. And I fart thst often that I stop caring to lift the cheek and fart out or fart cleanly and I just let it rip. Fart lyf


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OfflineSunnyD
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: Soulidarity]
    #21994890 - 07/25/15 11:50 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I eat a lot of protein too, which is supposed to make em smell fierce


Idk, maybe its a delusion, but mine usually are benighn

I cut off most processed shit, and replaced it with real food
seems to help in many ways


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OfflineBassfreak
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: Soulidarity]
    #21994891 - 07/25/15 11:50 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

idk if anyones ever read "the darwin awards"

but one dude farted so much in his sleep with the windows closed in his room that the room was filled with so much gas that he suffocated and died lol


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InvisibleOhMrJohnson
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: Bassfreak]
    #21995022 - 07/25/15 12:25 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Whenever I eat buffalo chicken dip my farts turn into a chemical weapon

It's so worth it though


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OfflineSoulidarity
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: Bassfreak]
    #21995026 - 07/25/15 12:25 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

This dude live in a shoebox or what? I'm inclined to call bs on that. That would be pretty shitty though


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OfflineBassfreak
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: Soulidarity]
    #21995039 - 07/25/15 12:28 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Soulidarity said:
This dude live in a shoebox or what? I'm inclined to call bs on that. That would be pretty shitty though





the darwin awards is a book of true storys about people who died in completely retarded ways

all of em are true, and if you didnt actually die and you just got injured, its an honorable mention lol


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OfflineSoulidarity
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: Bassfreak]
    #21995043 - 07/25/15 12:29 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Right, might check that out for shits and giggles I guess


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Offlinezappaisgod
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: twelvelookslikeu] * 3
    #21995111 - 07/25/15 12:46 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

twelvelookslikeu said:
But I like my farts


Maybe first grade my daughter was asked to write something about her parents.  The little shit wrote "My daddy likes the smell of his farts."


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Offlinetwelvelookslikeu
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: zappaisgod]
    #21995140 - 07/25/15 12:52 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

zappaisgod said:
Quote:

twelvelookslikeu said:
But I like my farts


Maybe first grade my daughter was asked to write something about her parents.  The little shit wrote "My daddy likes the smell of his farts."



:bathtub40lol:


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OfflineBassfreak
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: twelvelookslikeu]
    #21995164 - 07/25/15 12:57 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

when i went to bisco last week we got a hotel btwn 4 of us so we had to sleep in a bed with anther dude and at one point i forgot i was in a bed with someone else cuz i was so tired and ripped the fattest fart ever lol

that was funny

when you sleep on your side its like the perfect position to fart and thats why you fart in bed so much


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OfflineSatyr604
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: Bassfreak]
    #21995249 - 07/25/15 01:19 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

But we all do that, right? I mean, come on, admit it. Every time you fart, you sniff a little. Have a little smell, you know?


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OfflineBassfreak
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: Satyr604]
    #21995252 - 07/25/15 01:20 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

you know a fart is bad when you cant handle your own stench lol

those rotten eggs farts


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Invisiblemillzy
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: Bassfreak]
    #21995269 - 07/25/15 01:25 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

my girl's been trying to get me to fart in front of her for awhile. i've lost track of how many times she's done it front of me. i just can't bring myself to do it just yet. she'll like push on my stomach like "you got anything?" :lol:


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Offlinenicechrisman
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: millzy] * 2
    #21995280 - 07/25/15 01:29 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Sounds very erotic


--------------------
"Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent:
it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not."

John C. Lily

 


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Invisiblemillzy
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: nicechrisman]
    #21995287 - 07/25/15 01:31 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

it's very strange to be honest. but, so is she.


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InvisiblezZZz
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: millzy] * 2
    #21995298 - 07/25/15 01:35 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

next time ur next to her pull her head down towards ur butt in a forceful manner and lay one on her


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InvisibleLe_Canard
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: zZZz]
    #21995307 - 07/25/15 01:37 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Nothing says' "I love you" to a lady than when her man Dutch-Ovens her.


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InvisibleFruitOfLife
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: zZZz]
    #21995308 - 07/25/15 01:37 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

:whathesaid:


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Offlinezappaisgod
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: Bassfreak]
    #21995325 - 07/25/15 01:42 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Bassfreak said:
you know a fart is bad when you cant handle your own stench lol

those rotten eggs farts



I cleared a walleyball court once, including the referees in the balcony.  One of my finest moments


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OfflineBassfreak
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: zappaisgod]
    #21995328 - 07/25/15 01:42 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

zappaisgod said:
Quote:

Bassfreak said:
you know a fart is bad when you cant handle your own stench lol

those rotten eggs farts



I cleared a walleyball court once, including the referees in the balcony.  One of my finest moments





lol thats awesome

one day i wish to do that...

alpha fucking male


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OfflineThatKidWithTheFace
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: Bassfreak]
    #21995338 - 07/25/15 01:45 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

This thread is making me wonder why I don't fart much.


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[quote]ThatKidWithTheFace said:
Is this the same aunt that fucks dogs?[/quote]
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InvisibleLe_Canard
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: zappaisgod]
    #21995349 - 07/25/15 01:50 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

zappaisgod said:
Quote:

Bassfreak said:
you know a fart is bad when you cant handle your own stench lol

those rotten eggs farts



I cleared a walleyball court once, including the referees in the balcony.  One of my finest moments





Farts are meant to be shared.


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Offlinezappaisgod
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: Le_Canard]
    #21995490 - 07/25/15 02:28 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

A fart unshared is like a tree that falls in the forest with no one around to hear it.


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OfflineSunnyD
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: nicechrisman]
    #21995498 - 07/25/15 02:31 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

nicechrisman said:
Sounds very erotic



:lol:


--------------------
:sunny::inlove::peyotespectrum::peyotespectrum::inlove::sunny:
And to everyone who thinks life is just a game,
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This is the time in life I am living!
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InvisibleZombi3
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Re: Dont fart in the bed man [Re: ThatKidWithTheFace]
    #21995852 - 07/25/15 03:31 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

ThatKidWithTheFace said:
This thread is making me wonder why I don't fart much.



Right?


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