A couple of years ago I stumbled upon this site after a psychedelic experience on mushrooms which changed the course of my life dramatically. There was so much insight into my life during that trip, so much change for the better, so much spiritual learning and awareness that i made a conscious decision to explore psychedelics by making them a part of my life. That part of my life has now come to an end and i just wanted to say to this wonderful community that it's been an absolute blast and that without all the information, all the advice, all the people here who give up their time to contribute and help each other out ... Thank you, from the deepest of my heart! Most of our cultures now lack the shamanic experience needed to guide some people through psychedelic experiences both before, during and importantly AFTER the drug ingestion stage. That's where this community steps in - whether it's about healing, improving or just having fun there's advice here for everybody and a nice low level self-policing wherein we often see people reminding each other to have respect for each others attitudes and opinions.
For me something changed over the last few trips and i started to suffer complete paranoid delusions - really bad trips wherein i was absolutely convinced that i was about to lose everything i valued in my life! This, in my opinion, is what the mushroom is all about - teaching you to be grateful for what you have in your life right now, to focus on what you have and not what you haven't, to 'always look on the bright side of life'. I've found the mushroom does this in many ways during trips - including frightening me half to death about losing everything - but that the basic message is always the same no matter which medium it uses to make you realise. Once the message is learned, the interaction is over, although we remain old friends.
When i started out looking for meaning in my life during a period of deep depression, shrooms where synchronistic in my life - i would find them without looking, or grow huge shrooms with relatively little effort. As time went on however, and i chased the experience, asking for more answers when i'd already been given the knowledge i needed, they became extremely hard to come upon. Anything and everything would go wrong when growing and even after meticulous work which yielded mushrooms, the trips never quite hit the old mark.
During my penultimate trip a few months ago i sat on the edge of my bed, bemushroomed, and asked, 'Should i carry on seeking or is it all over for me?' Somehow i came to the conclusion that there was no more to gain - not now anyway. Nevertheless the shrooms are hard to leave behind and i tripped again a few days ago, resulting in what i can only describe as a psychotic episode. I was taught a harsh lesson, but it was a lesson with meaning and impact all the same.
And so for now, and for the foreseeable future, i'm taking a psychedelic bow. I'm one of the lucky ones - i'm happy - i've been taught things by the mushroom which i've applied into my life and it's made me a very happy person. With that in mind I wish everyone else here and everywhere else involved in this noble but often villified pursuit the very best of luck, peace, love and awesome vibes.
Stay safe
MushroomBilly
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-------------------- Most of my beliefs I acquired from my father and from John Wayne, and anything that wasn't ultra tough and ultra cool was to me ultra embarrassing. In fact, I lived in a state of near continuous embarrassment, never measuring up to the ridiculous standards I had accepted without question, applied to a framework of expectations neither I nor anyone else could meet.--J C Amberchele almost nothing important that ever happens to you happens because you engineer it. Destiny has no beeper; destiny always leans trenchcoated out of an alley with some sort of 'psst' that you usually can't even hear because you're in such a rush to or from something important you've tried to engineer. ” ― David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest
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