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Offlinelood_dood
Magical Badger Catcher
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Registered: 05/20/14
Posts: 414
Loc: Galloway
Last seen: 7 years, 14 days
Can't seem to get laid!
    #21993417 - 07/25/15 12:38 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

The title is superficial but so is the subject.

I was able to break out of a mostly sexless 5 year relationship over two months ago, and figured this would be my time to shine! Unfortunately I don't seem to have much luck. I'm only in my country for another month at most now so I've given up.

I tried a couple hookups but my junk didn't want to cooperate, so that opportunity passed by, and every girl I seem to attract is more superficial than I am or somewhere on the radar of new age tumblr bullshit I dont want to associate with. I only ever hit it off with girls online who I pretend not to be interested in, but then feel like a douche canoe because I have to pretend to be dumb as a rock and uncaring of them; and it's not true to me as a person. Any time I start talking with a girl I relate to and actually like, it shuts down out of nowhere the moment I express any interest in who they are as a person. What gives?

I'm ranting, and I'm not gonna pretend I'm part of that fedora mlady nice guy bullshit. I just wish I could find a way to have a meaningful one month sex fest with someone chill. At first it was 3 months but I've killed time. I mean, soon I'll be back in Asia where it's easier for no reason but damn this dry spell sucks.

Rant over but feel free to comment. If I weren't so broke because of the move coming up, I'd just opt for a hooker. Less mind games and I get what I pay for with 0% anxiety.:guiltyascharged:


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:brainondrugs: :dna: :tinfoil: BILL NYE IS A LIZARD. THEY'RE ALL LIZARDS! :tinfoil: :dna: :brainondrugs:


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InvisibleSteveRogers
gandy dancer
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Registered: 10/24/06
Posts: 3,450
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood] * 1
    #21993430 - 07/25/15 12:43 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Sorry about your limp dick.


--------------------
"General, I am loyal to nothing......except The Dream"


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InvisibleShroomopotamus
Happy Mushrooming
Female User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 09/27/09
Posts: 18,757
Loc: Funkotron
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: SteveRogers] * 1
    #21993432 - 07/25/15 12:44 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

l0l


--------------------
*
Live by the mushroom, die by the mushroom
:mushroom2::rainbowdrink:
This is a trap! A trap! You are all busted! Busted! You fools!
:twirlyface:

If a time comes where I fail to appear I've been abducted and I will miss you all
Please smile and pet puppies as often as possible
Be happy
Be nice
(<3);}


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InvisibleOeric McKenna
LIFE CAPS


Registered: 06/15/12
Posts: 5,318
Loc: Babylon Flag
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: SteveRogers]
    #21993437 - 07/25/15 12:46 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

He's sorry about it^

... try pills maybe


--------------------


spread love
love is everything
2013 finds
medicinal psilocybin tincture drops
cannabis pics


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Offlinelood_dood
Magical Badger Catcher
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Registered: 05/20/14
Posts: 414
Loc: Galloway
Last seen: 7 years, 14 days
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Oeric McKenna]
    #21993447 - 07/25/15 12:50 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Yeah, it sucks 6 in a row, or atleast I wish it did :awedance:
the weird thing is that when I've gotten hookers, I have no problems, maybe because there is a clear understanding of what's expected by both parties, but outside of that realm, the uncertainty has been giving me strange anxiety. I completely blew it with one girl because I was getting mixed signals when they were not as mixed as I thought.

Viagra is too expensive. Maybe it's time I turn to super 88 chinese boner pills :hairmetal:


--------------------
:brainondrugs: :dna: :tinfoil: BILL NYE IS A LIZARD. THEY'RE ALL LIZARDS! :tinfoil: :dna: :brainondrugs:


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InvisibleSteveRogers
gandy dancer
 User Gallery


Registered: 10/24/06
Posts: 3,450
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21993457 - 07/25/15 12:53 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Viagra doesn't fix psychological problems.


Just order it from Canada :cookiemonster:
They are too drunk to care about drugs laws.


--------------------
"General, I am loyal to nothing......except The Dream"


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Invisiblelets drive around
That kid with a stupid low Jetta
Male User Gallery


Registered: 07/25/13
Posts: 1,060
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: SteveRogers]
    #21993458 - 07/25/15 12:54 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

SteveRogers said:
Sorry about your limp dick.




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InvisibleNitrous Monkey
selftitled
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Registered: 09/21/12
Posts: 3,150
Loc: USA Flag
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21993459 - 07/25/15 12:54 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I'll give you a boner :naughty:


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 15 minutes, 33 seconds
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood] * 3
    #21993462 - 07/25/15 12:56 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Ever notice the people who can't get laid are almost always the ones that are fixated and obsessed with it? They go out of their way to say and do things they wouldn't normally do just to "raise their chances". The fact you only hit it off with girls who you go out of your way to express a non-interest in only furthers this point.

You'd be surprised by the body language and mindset you convey into a readable format that would prove difficult for anyone at all to define, yet people can pick up on these cues without even knowing they are.

If you want to get laid, you first need to not want to get laid.

Same exact reason that as soon as you're in a relationship, everyone basically starts throwing themselves at you.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


Edited by Shroomslip (07/25/15 12:57 AM)


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Offlinelood_dood
Magical Badger Catcher
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Registered: 05/20/14
Posts: 414
Loc: Galloway
Last seen: 7 years, 14 days
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21993476 - 07/25/15 01:04 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

It does work that way I notice, which also makes no sense but what can you do? I'm happy and don't care too much most days, but ill be damned if some aren't harder than others. Today was one of them.

As for the psychological stuff, I'm not even sure what to do about it. I've had no luck stateside, and soon arriving in a country where the idea of being an alcoholic doesn't exist; let alone mental health issues.


--------------------
:brainondrugs: :dna: :tinfoil: BILL NYE IS A LIZARD. THEY'RE ALL LIZARDS! :tinfoil: :dna: :brainondrugs:


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InvisibleSteveRogers
gandy dancer
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Registered: 10/24/06
Posts: 3,450
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood] * 1
    #21993486 - 07/25/15 01:07 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

So you are saying you are a mentally ill limp dicked drunk who is terrified of women who aren't whores?


--------------------
"General, I am loyal to nothing......except The Dream"


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Offlinelood_dood
Magical Badger Catcher
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Registered: 05/20/14
Posts: 414
Loc: Galloway
Last seen: 7 years, 14 days
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: SteveRogers]
    #21993508 - 07/25/15 01:14 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

SteveRogers said:
So you are saying you are a mentally ill limp dicked drunk who is terrified of women who aren't whores?




Well when you put it that way...


Nah, for realsies though I'm just probably dealing with relationship moop without realizing it. Not the alcoholic part, I don't drink much, but I did find out that the concept of alcoholism does not exist where I am moving, but they also have uber cheap booze.

And not terrified by women. Women are great, more of my friends are women than men. It's just strange being back in the single world. I havent been single for more than a few weeks for about 10 years now.


--------------------
:brainondrugs: :dna: :tinfoil: BILL NYE IS A LIZARD. THEY'RE ALL LIZARDS! :tinfoil: :dna: :brainondrugs:


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InvisibleOeric McKenna
LIFE CAPS


Registered: 06/15/12
Posts: 5,318
Loc: Babylon Flag
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21993533 - 07/25/15 01:25 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Thinking about the boner kills it...
Never think about the boner! think about the puss..


--------------------


spread love
love is everything
2013 finds
medicinal psilocybin tincture drops
cannabis pics


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OfflinePsilosopherr
A psilly goose
Other User Gallery


Registered: 02/15/12
Posts: 12,278
Last seen: 1 month, 10 days
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21993535 - 07/25/15 01:27 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I remember sex :sad:


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
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Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood] * 1
    #21993542 - 07/25/15 01:32 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

lood_dood said:
Can't seem to get laid!






crawl up a chicken's ass and wait, it will happen


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Invisible1234go
Ban Lotto Champion
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Registered: 07/08/09
Posts: 53,864
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21993547 - 07/25/15 01:40 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)





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OfflineSeriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh
Male User Gallery


Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,471
Last seen: 18 hours, 54 minutes
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21993581 - 07/25/15 02:12 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomslip said:
Ever notice the people who can't get laid are almost always the ones that are fixated and obsessed with it? They go out of their way to say and do things they wouldn't normally do just to "raise their chances". The fact you only hit it off with girls who you go out of your way to express a non-interest in only furthers this point.

You'd be surprised by the body language and mindset you convey into a readable format that would prove difficult for anyone at all to define, yet people can pick up on these cues without even knowing they are.

If you want to get laid, you first need to not want to get laid.

Same exact reason that as soon as you're in a relationship, everyone basically starts throwing themselves at you.



This was the only way I could stop bitching and just put myself in the position of possibly attracting a chick and then I be myself. Works a lot better then staring at a chick across the room until some magic symbol appears on her forehead saying fuck me :lol: Trying hard,having a set "gameplan" or any pre planned thought of how to get laid NEVER works imo. I've pulled some of the hottest bitches by talking music and stuff with them like any other person and then saying as simple as "You are beautiful" In all honesty though you don't even need to say that.

I have pulled a couple of chicks by being semi rude or just disinterested but never by trying hard. It's an elegant system but way too simple, for a long time I thought for sure the more thought and effort you put into it the easier it would be.It's the exact opposite.

Also I think when you don't try hard you are more relaxed and have a more confident disposition and definitely reduces the look of disparity. A big part of picking up chicks is confidence,tone and body language.


--------------------
R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many :heart:


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Offlinemakaveli8x8
Stranger
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Registered: 02/28/06
Posts: 21,636
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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21993616 - 07/25/15 03:00 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

do what i do OP and go fuck yourself  :readmylipsfuckyou:

let me know if that works out for you


--------------------
We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.


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Invisibleelax420
Anal Destroyer
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Registered: 10/16/12
Posts: 15,536
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #21993640 - 07/25/15 03:23 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:

lood_dood said:
Can't seem to get laid!






crawl up a chicken's ass and wait, it will happen




:ilold:
That was so stupid it was funny


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InvisibleOeric McKenna
LIFE CAPS


Registered: 06/15/12
Posts: 5,318
Loc: Babylon Flag
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: elax420]
    #21993681 - 07/25/15 04:19 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Its a southern thing....


--------------------


spread love
love is everything
2013 finds
medicinal psilocybin tincture drops
cannabis pics


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InvisibleModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
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Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21993685 - 07/25/15 04:23 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/21993684

Didn't even see your thread when I made mine.
It comes in waves. Once it comes it comes on strong but when it's gone it feels like a desert.

I sympathize big time man.


--------------------
Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?


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OfflineSoulidarity
With Your Halo Slippin . . .
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Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 17,617
Loc: Atlantis Flag
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21993725 - 07/25/15 05:04 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

too much too soon. its lame but you have to hold all of that back untill things are progressing properly. you know how most guys don't like an easy chick and it puts them off? girls are the same. they like the challenge of winning someone and working to get someone, not someone who just falls at their feet straight away. you have to act like you dont give a shit to start to get their attention and then once things start to go to the next level is when you can start bringing in all that other stuff. its so retarded and i hate it but thats how it seems to work. most of the time the genuine nice guy gets screwed over, especially by vindictive women. then again they are all different and you just have to see how things go with each particular person, but in general too much too soon is a red flag that will put them off.


--------------------

R.I.P. WoodRuss67, Todcasil, TheMerryIguana, The Rompus, Lord Senate.
[/url]


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Offlinelood_dood
Magical Badger Catcher
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Registered: 05/20/14
Posts: 414
Loc: Galloway
Last seen: 7 years, 14 days
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #21993825 - 07/25/15 06:23 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:

lood_dood said:
Can't seem to get laid!






crawl up a chicken's ass and wait, it will happen




I laughed too hard at this one :laugh2:


--------------------
:brainondrugs: :dna: :tinfoil: BILL NYE IS A LIZARD. THEY'RE ALL LIZARDS! :tinfoil: :dna: :brainondrugs:


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
Trans-male User Gallery


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc: Flag
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21993901 - 07/25/15 07:18 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Basically everything that shroomslip and seriously_trippin said.

It takes a combination of disinterest and generally not giving a fuck that makes it happen


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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InvisibleDietrootbear
makes u think
Female


Registered: 08/23/11
Posts: 724
Loc: Sheffield, UK Flag
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy] * 2
    #21993927 - 07/25/15 07:35 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Yeah lood_dood, what those guys said. Be disinterested as possible. Start by eating whatever you want, don't care about your shape, girls are intimidated by attractive men anyway. They threaten their vanity. Don't work out anymore, it will make you too tired to focus on being apathetic. You don't want to display any eagerness whatsoever. When the next girl you get involved with talks to you about her life, be sure to stare off into the distance meditatively and restrain any facial reactions. Or pull out some earplugs and stuff 'em in. Girls love that absurd shit.

Pretend to fall asleep when you're on the phone with her. Make sure that the length of your text messages is indirectly related to the length of hers, i.e. the more she types the less you type. But don't type a lot when she doesn't, that doesn't apply here. Respond to paragraph-length messages with four word sentences, and in extreme cases just say "k", no punctuation, no capitalization. I do this and it gets me so much pussy that my dick has to go to a chiropractor.

Basically you have to pretend that she doesn't exist. I did this with a girlfriend of two years and she couldn't restrain herself from banging me at least three times a day. When she's on top of you just scream "oh my god it's a succubus" and "please lord what did I do to provoke this vile cockbucking daemon's wrath". You can also just pretend to be reading while she goes at you. Be sure to yawn during orgasm. It takes effort, but it's worth it. Watch some acting advice videos on youtube.

Alright man, now you know, get out there, get to work.


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
Trans-male User Gallery


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc: Flag
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Dietrootbear]
    #21993943 - 07/25/15 07:42 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

:lolsy:


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineJanky Tits
Registered: 06/19/14
Posts: 4,037
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy] * 1
    #21993971 - 07/25/15 07:54 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Just do what I do man. I usually only do this with fat chicks because they are usually desperate and do anything any even somewhat attractive looking skinny guy says but it has worked on a handful of sexy dimes before as well. Go to the club/or concert start dancing with a few girls, offer them Ecstasy and then get emotionally close to then the rest of the night and you'll have your sex by the end of the night. It almost always works for me when I'm looking 4 casual sex. It usually only works on chubby girls unfortunately but chubby bitch pussy is better then no pussy. And I'm not even talking about gross sloppy 300 pound bitches, I'm talking about ones with a bit of chub hanging out their back lmao, it's not so bad tbh. Chubby bitches need love too and sexy skinny dimes usually have boyfriends or don't trust strangers giving them E so I've  only managed bagging dimes a handful of times.


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
Trans-male User Gallery


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc: Flag
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Janky Tits] * 1
    #21993977 - 07/25/15 07:57 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Words of wisdom from Xplicit :thumbup:


Did you ever give your girlfriend that surprise anal?


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineJanky Tits
Registered: 06/19/14
Posts: 4,037
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21994737 - 07/25/15 11:10 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Words of wisdom from Xplicit :thumbup:


Did you ever give your girlfriend that surprise anal?



I gave her a surprise index finger and gave myself a surprise stanky finger.


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Offlinelood_dood
Magical Badger Catcher
 User Gallery


Registered: 05/20/14
Posts: 414
Loc: Galloway
Last seen: 7 years, 14 days
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Janky Tits]
    #21994825 - 07/25/15 11:37 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Dietrootbear said:
Yeah lood_dood, what those guys said. Be disinterested as possible. Start by eating whatever you want, don't care about your shape, girls are intimidated by attractive men anyway. They threaten their vanity. Don't work out anymore, it will make you too tired to focus on being apathetic. You don't want to display any eagerness whatsoever. When the next girl you get involved with talks to you about her life, be sure to stare off into the distance meditatively and restrain any facial reactions. Or pull out some earplugs and stuff 'em in. Girls love that absurd shit.

Pretend to fall asleep when you're on the phone with her. Make sure that the length of your text messages is indirectly related to the length of hers, i.e. the more she types the less you type. But don't type a lot when she doesn't, that doesn't apply here. Respond to paragraph-length messages with four word sentences, and in extreme cases just say "k", no punctuation, no capitalization. I do this and it gets me so much pussy that my dick has to go to a chiropractor.

Basically you have to pretend that she doesn't exist. I did this with a girlfriend of two years and she couldn't restrain herself from banging me at least three times a day. When she's on top of you just scream "oh my god it's a succubus" and "please lord what did I do to provoke this vile cockbucking daemon's wrath". You can also just pretend to be reading while she goes at you. Be sure to yawn during orgasm. It takes effort, but it's worth it. Watch some acting advice videos on youtube.

Alright man, now you know, get out there, get to work.




:ahahaha:

Quote:

Xplicit RelapzZ said:
Just do what I do man. I usually only do this with fat chicks because they are usually desperate and do anything any even somewhat attractive looking skinny guy says but it has worked on a handful of sexy dimes before as well. Go to the club/or concert start dancing with a few girls, offer them Ecstasy and then get emotionally close to then the rest of the night and you'll have your sex by the end of the night. It almost always works for me when I'm looking 4 casual sex. It usually only works on chubby girls unfortunately but chubby bitch pussy is better then no pussy. And I'm not even talking about gross sloppy 300 pound bitches, I'm talking about ones with a bit of chub hanging out their back lmao, it's not so bad tbh. Chubby bitches need love too and sexy skinny dimes usually have boyfriends or don't trust strangers giving them E so I've  only managed bagging dimes a handful of times.




I like girls who are a bit chubby anyway so that doesn't bother me. Where I live, clubs and girls suck hardcore. Like, everywhere else I've been they are fun just not in my easily accessible area. But I think for whatever reason my brain is just saying no to hookups, although I really just want to do that for a while.

Good news. A really really hot Asian ex of mine (ended because of distance) moved to the same town I'm moving overseas to, and she randomly hit me up this morning. Knowing her, it's gonna be a good time, but it's another 2 months away  :singletear:

Ah well, if I can't do the hook up life, at least I got that going for me. :shrug:


--------------------
:brainondrugs: :dna: :tinfoil: BILL NYE IS A LIZARD. THEY'RE ALL LIZARDS! :tinfoil: :dna: :brainondrugs:


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OfflineDrMambo
hamburger time
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Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 6,197
Loc: 53rd & 3rd
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Janky Tits]
    #21994856 - 07/25/15 11:43 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

It's strange. I got approached by a coworker out of the blue to, "follow me home", for some random hot dickings two weeks ago. She was on my for a few days after, but once I expressed interest in hanging out otherwise, it killed it. Hopefully she's just more on the ball of the no relationships at work thing, and I'm not just perpetually farting, but it kinda whacks me out to have someone sod off like that once I express interest in slightly more than just sex.

Perhaps it's because I've always had sex in relationships or, if it was just sex, it was as a casual fuck on the side of a faltering relationship.

On the bright side, I've been totally acting like a huge dick to another coworker of mine for the past two months, just all glowering and dismissing and handing her ripping hot shit bare handed because my hands are actually made of crocodiles, and she just caught on yesterday that it's basically just my work caricature and started towel whipping me, so perhaps there's some strange in the near future.

Ah, I'm gonna get fired.


--------------------
"Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
Mdmazing
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Psilosopherr]
    #21994997 - 07/25/15 12:18 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

rbalzer said:
I remember sex :sad:



Yea I've been on this level for about year or so now :sad:


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Rebelutionsssss] * 1
    #21995060 - 07/25/15 12:33 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Rebelutionsssss said:
Quote:

rbalzer said:
I remember sex :sad:



Yea I've been on this level for about year or so now :sad:





clearly the solution is to find a girl with lower standards than your own

it's what I do :smirk:


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #21995069 - 07/25/15 12:34 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

If I find a girl with Lower standards than me I'm pretty sure she will be a he


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #21995124 - 07/25/15 12:49 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Rebelutionsssss said:
If I find a girl with Lower standards than me I'm pretty sure she will be a he





or a chicken


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21995131 - 07/25/15 12:51 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

lood_dood said:
The title is superficial but so is the subject.

I was able to break out of a mostly sexless 5 year relationship over two months ago, and figured this would be my time to shine! Unfortunately I don't seem to have much luck. I'm only in my country for another month at most now so I've given up.

I tried a couple hookups but my junk didn't want to cooperate, so that opportunity passed by, and every girl I seem to attract is more superficial than I am or somewhere on the radar of new age tumblr bullshit I dont want to associate with. I only ever hit it off with girls online who I pretend not to be interested in, but then feel like a douche canoe because I have to pretend to be dumb as a rock and uncaring of them; and it's not true to me as a person. Any time I start talking with a girl I relate to and actually like, it shuts down out of nowhere the moment I express any interest in who they are as a person. What gives?

I'm ranting, and I'm not gonna pretend I'm part of that fedora mlady nice guy bullshit. I just wish I could find a way to have a meaningful one month sex fest with someone chill. At first it was 3 months but I've killed time. I mean, soon I'll be back in Asia where it's easier for no reason but damn this dry spell sucks.

Rant over but feel free to comment. If I weren't so broke because of the move coming up, I'd just opt for a hooker. Less mind games and I get what I pay for with 0% anxiety.:guiltyascharged:




I hope you were joking about the fedora thing. AFAIK that's basically poison for your prospects, I've not met a single woman who didn't have an almost comically severe, violent hatred of fedoras and the douchebags who wear them.

Anyway, I'm guessing you don't introduce yourself as "lood dood" when you're chatting up your prospects, but if you do, its probably not helping.


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #21995274 - 07/25/15 01:27 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

You need a slump buster!


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: stratocast]
    #21995290 - 07/25/15 01:32 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

stratocast said:
You need a slump buster!




I wish I wasn't so damn picky.  It'd probably really help me out to just slam out a fat girl, but I can't bring myself to do it.


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: circularvortex]
    #21995301 - 07/25/15 01:35 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

circularvortex said:
Quote:

stratocast said:
You need a slump buster!




I wish I wasn't so damn picky.  It'd probably really help me out to just slam out a fat girl, but I can't bring myself to do it.































































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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: circularvortex]
    #21995302 - 07/25/15 01:36 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Fatties are hot as fuck. Just do it.



Wouldn't you?


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #21995303 - 07/25/15 01:36 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

BlindSophist said:
Quote:

lood_dood said:
The title is superficial but so is the subject.

I was able to break out of a mostly sexless 5 year relationship over two months ago, and figured this would be my time to shine! Unfortunately I don't seem to have much luck. I'm only in my country for another month at most now so I've given up.

I tried a couple hookups but my junk didn't want to cooperate, so that opportunity passed by, and every girl I seem to attract is more superficial than I am or somewhere on the radar of new age tumblr bullshit I dont want to associate with. I only ever hit it off with girls online who I pretend not to be interested in, but then feel like a douche canoe because I have to pretend to be dumb as a rock and uncaring of them; and it's not true to me as a person. Any time I start talking with a girl I relate to and actually like, it shuts down out of nowhere the moment I express any interest in who they are as a person. What gives?

I'm ranting, and I'm not gonna pretend I'm part of that fedora mlady nice guy bullshit. I just wish I could find a way to have a meaningful one month sex fest with someone chill. At first it was 3 months but I've killed time. I mean, soon I'll be back in Asia where it's easier for no reason but damn this dry spell sucks.

Rant over but feel free to comment. If I weren't so broke because of the move coming up, I'd just opt for a hooker. Less mind games and I get what I pay for with 0% anxiety.:guiltyascharged:




I hope you were joking about the fedora thing. AFAIK that's basically poison for your prospects, I've not met a single woman who didn't have an almost comically severe, violent hatred of fedoras and the douchebags who wear them.

Anyway, I'm guessing you don't introduce yourself as "lood dood" when you're chatting up your prospects, but if you do, its probably not helping.




Oh no, I absolutely do not wear a fedora. I got friends who rock em and have never been kissed before. I think they look awful and I can see why no one goes for them. I also don't think that "I'm a nice guy and all women are assholes" either. My tastes in women are just shit and I think I just don't find any enjoyment in meaningless sex or the social dance of shallow interaction. I wish I could have all the benefits of a committed relationship without either party being tied down by the other, but I've never seen it happen.

I have luck on Tindr when I'm just like "ayy gurl want sum fuk?" and as soon as the convo moves out of the territory of fucking, I'll never hear back. All my Tindr "success" comes solely from talking about sex and trying too hard to be funny, but then when I'm in the bedroom nothing on my end works so I just wind up being a muffin muncher until they leave happy enough. When all is said and done I feel worse than I did pre-attempted-fucking. I've had some good one night stands before my relationship (aaaand during it when things were faltering) but the only good sex I've ever had was with people I'm in an ongoing thing with.

I think I'm just a relationship person instead of a one-off person. I love being single; ideally I'd live my life alone but with someone I'm cozy enough with who I can just do it up NSA with here and there on the side because living with even great women is a pain in the ass. Although I like to be committed, sometimes the give-and-take aspects just end up with me giving, never receiving (because for some reason I'm unconsciously attracted to these kinds of girls :shrug:). Like, I'm only ever happy when single, but the lack of human/sexual contact makes being single suck as well.


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21995364 - 07/25/15 01:56 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I heard thinking about baseball helps


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21995377 - 07/25/15 01:58 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Doesnt seem like you have a problem getting laid, seems like you got a problem getting it up. She might act like she leaves happy but she aint gonna be coming back for seconds if all you got is limp dick and your fingers.


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
    #21995547 - 07/25/15 02:43 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Bodhi of Ankou said:
Doesnt seem like you have a problem getting laid, seems like you got a problem getting it up. She might act like she leaves happy but she aint gonna be coming back for seconds if all you got is limp dick and your fingers.




Well, the problem evolved into not getting laid because on one hand I just wanna bang, but on the other my loss of interest in shallow interactions both killed my game, and my function. It might be a performance anxiety thing (I'm not old at all, only a quarter of a century). I've always had minor functional difficulties to an extent with new partners (or hook-ups) before but not to the point where literally nothing happens. I hooked up with an ex who was in town for a day two weeks after my break up and had no problems (she lives on the other side of the country though, so it's not a booty-call I can rely on). It's just new people I can't seem to break through with.

My confidence is so dead as a result though. Even when I get myself pumped up about putting on my game for a girl, halfway through I'll hate everything about the game, and the fakeness of it all, and then my brain reminds me that I won't get it up anyway and I blow it. I've stopped using tindr, and I'll try to approach girls at bars here and there but half heartedly. And now there is a girl I like but she is backpacking the other side of the world who I wont see for another 4+ months. She definitely seems into me and is moving to the same country I'm going to as well. But now I'm thinking it might not be worth chasing because until I get my life sorted I'll screw it up. :scat:

I think I just need to give myself some time to recover from my last relationship, get better at being single again, and not actively seek out sex for sex' sake. Mayhaps it's because I'm accidentally giving off the vibe that I'm looking to fulfill a need, and not that I am a chilled out confident dude who is fun and exciting to be around. I'm definitely no hard-ass, but when I'm comfortable and confident, I'm fun. My friends are always hitting me up when they want to have a good time because they know I'll make it better; but this slump has me all mooped out.

performance anxiety ED issues are no fun at 25 man. I just don't know how to fix them. At least I'm happy more often now that I'm single, instead of being miserable with the potential for monthly/bimonthly sex with my ex. :shrug:


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #21996467 - 07/25/15 05:54 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

BlindSophist said:
Fatties are hot as fuck. Just do it.



Wouldn't you?




Guh.  How do people handle being that big?  I'm so glad I don't have to wash in between folds :puke:

It's been like 5 months or so for me....if it goes too much longer I might have to break down


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Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.



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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21996761 - 07/25/15 06:59 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Porn has ruined my boner-getting ability several times.


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Seriously_trippin]
    #21996768 - 07/25/15 07:01 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I'm worried about that being caused by porn. I'm becoming a porn addict lately.

This will all be over soon enough when VR really hits


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Psilosopherr]
    #21996914 - 07/25/15 07:32 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

:lol: VR and a fleshlight could honestly keep me content for a long time if I had to.


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Seriously_trippin]
    #21996953 - 07/25/15 07:40 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Seriously_trippin said:
:lol: VR and a fleshlight could honestly keep me content for a long time if I had to.




I hear that :crazy2:


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21997193 - 07/25/15 08:46 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Failing to get a stiffie shouldn't equate to a failure to satisfy your partner and have a good time yourself. Just finger her and eat her out, then have her jerk or suck off your flaccid weiner. You only really need to have an erection if you are intent on getting balls deep inside of her and knocking up her ova with your sperm. Otherwise, there are ways for you to get each other off without you needing to have an erection.


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #21997318 - 07/25/15 09:18 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

BlindSophist said:
Failing to get a stiffie shouldn't equate to a failure to satisfy your partner and have a good time yourself. Just finger her and eat her out, then have her jerk or suck off your flaccid weiner. You only really need to have an erection if you are intent on getting balls deep inside of her and knocking up her ova with your sperm. Otherwise, there are ways for you to get each other off without you needing to have an erection.




That's the big problem, is just it wont do anything whatsoever. It's that catch 22 when I'm like "c'mon boner getup gawddamnit!" and it wont happen. At home alone, no problems; fuckin walk around like a king with it just never going down. So I just try to play it off like "Huh, don't know why that's going on, but let me make this about you."  So I got my playing around otherwise game down, but I just feel like crap because at the end of the day here I am knowing that for whatever reason I just couldn't perform.


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21997356 - 07/25/15 09:26 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Let your fingers and tongue do the performance, her vagina doesn't care about what it's getting touched by as long as it does get touched, and in the right ways. Her orgasm is not contained in your weiner. Incidentally, getting her off and hearing her moan ecstatically from having your fingers and or tongue inside of her  will probably raise your confidence and dispel the performance anxiety that is preventing you from being able to get it up.

Just for once, put the pussy on a pedestal. The rest will follow naturally.


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #21997492 - 07/25/15 10:01 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Er, OK, so I just read your last post all the way through and now I feel like a jackass.

Anyway, I come back to my earlier point: you do not need a stiffie to get off. You can still get off from a handy J or a BJ even if you are flaccid. If she's not down to jerk off a flaccid cock after you got her off with your fingers and tongue, she is not worth your time.


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #21997613 - 07/25/15 10:35 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

BlindSophist said:
Er, OK, so I just read your last post all the way through and now I feel like a jackass.

Anyway, I come back to my earlier point: you do not need a stiffie to get off. You can still get off from a handy J or a BJ even if you are flaccid. If she's not down to jerk off a flaccid cock after you got her off with your fingers and tongue, she is not worth your time.




Nah, don't need to feel like a jackass, you're trying to help. I probably just need to look at this from a more positive angle. Maybe work my way up into confidence or something. Maybe find a girl within my standards at a bar, buy her a drink, and see what she is doing after. If I can't get it up, blame it on the beer and get her off. Try my best, and try again another day. I just need to get over the anxiety.


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood] * 1
    #21997643 - 07/25/15 10:48 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I understand perfectly. I had a lot of experiences with feeling inadequate because I was too anxious and self conscious to get it up. It's rough.

In the end though, sex is all about blowing out pressure and feeling good. That's all that matters. Most girls will not hold it against you for not getting it up as long as you still make sure to get them off. There is no shame in performance anxiety, it really is just a sign of how concerned you are with your partner's enjoyment of the experience, and you should let that impulse be the main objective of your time in bed with her. Take care of her and she will give you more chances, and you will get more and more comfortable in bed with her. One day the anxiety will be gone and you will find yourself with a rampant boner and nowhere to put it but in her.


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You really are the worst kind of person.



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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #21997741 - 07/25/15 11:22 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Thanks :smile:
That is really good and honest advice. I'm just going to try my best and see what I can do. I care a lot that the person I'm with enjoys themself, and I know I let my fear of not being good enough kill my ability to do anything. Biology is strange like that. All the girls I've been with who've given me another chance past the fact all tell me I'm an amazing lover; I forget about that sometimes. Whelp, back to the grindstone next chance I get :smile:


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #21998296 - 07/26/15 02:34 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

BlindSophist said:
Let your fingers and tongue do the performance, her vagina doesn't care about what it's getting touched by as long as it does get touched, and in the right ways. Her orgasm is not contained in your weiner. Incidentally, getting her off and hearing her moan ecstatically from having your fingers and or tongue inside of her  will probably raise your confidence and dispel the performance anxiety that is preventing you from being able to get it up.

Just for once, put the pussy on a pedestal. The rest will follow naturally.






Nahhhh.....


Some girls need the D dude. Like they can still get off for sure, but its not the same as fucking her and neither is the orgasm (at least through my personal experiences)


OP:

Just go with the flow dude. If its not happening get her to blow you till it is, if its still not, your probably with the wrong gal.


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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: elax420]
    #21999266 - 07/26/15 10:36 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

If that doesn't work buy some viagra or cialis from the internet to help get your confidence back.  If you're a young guy it won't matter how anxious you are with those drugs in you that pecker'll stand at attention at a whisper of wind brushing by.


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For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.

Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.



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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #21999269 - 07/26/15 10:37 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

BlindSophist said:
I understand perfectly. I had a lot of experiences with feeling inadequate because I was too anxious and self conscious to get it up. It's rough.

In the end though, sex is all about blowing out pressure and feeling good. That's all that matters. Most girls will not hold it against you for not getting it up as long as you still make sure to get them off. There is no shame in performance anxiety, it really is just a sign of how concerned you are with your partner's enjoyment of the experience, and you should let that impulse be the main objective of your time in bed with her. Take care of her and she will give you more chances, and you will get more and more comfortable in bed with her. One day the anxiety will be gone and you will find yourself with a rampant boner and nowhere to put it but in her.




I thought you were a chick?


--------------------
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For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.

Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.



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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: circularvortex]
    #21999306 - 07/26/15 10:47 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

circularvortex said:
Quote:

BlindSophist said:
I understand perfectly. I had a lot of experiences with feeling inadequate because I was too anxious and self conscious to get it up. It's rough.

In the end though, sex is all about blowing out pressure and feeling good. That's all that matters. Most girls will not hold it against you for not getting it up as long as you still make sure to get them off. There is no shame in performance anxiety, it really is just a sign of how concerned you are with your partner's enjoyment of the experience, and you should let that impulse be the main objective of your time in bed with her. Take care of her and she will give you more chances, and you will get more and more comfortable in bed with her. One day the anxiety will be gone and you will find yourself with a rampant boner and nowhere to put it but in her.




I thought you were a chick?





we dont discriminate, girls can get erections as well


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InvisibleSophistic Radiance
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Registered: 07/11/06
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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #21999388 - 07/26/15 11:00 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

This one does, at least.


--------------------
Enlil said:
You really are the worst kind of person.



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