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lood_dood
Magical Badger Catcher



Registered: 05/20/14
Posts: 414
Loc: Galloway
Last seen: 7 years, 14 days
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Quote:
BlindSophist said:
Quote:
lood_dood said: The title is superficial but so is the subject.
I was able to break out of a mostly sexless 5 year relationship over two months ago, and figured this would be my time to shine! Unfortunately I don't seem to have much luck. I'm only in my country for another month at most now so I've given up.
I tried a couple hookups but my junk didn't want to cooperate, so that opportunity passed by, and every girl I seem to attract is more superficial than I am or somewhere on the radar of new age tumblr bullshit I dont want to associate with. I only ever hit it off with girls online who I pretend not to be interested in, but then feel like a douche canoe because I have to pretend to be dumb as a rock and uncaring of them; and it's not true to me as a person. Any time I start talking with a girl I relate to and actually like, it shuts down out of nowhere the moment I express any interest in who they are as a person. What gives?
I'm ranting, and I'm not gonna pretend I'm part of that fedora mlady nice guy bullshit. I just wish I could find a way to have a meaningful one month sex fest with someone chill. At first it was 3 months but I've killed time. I mean, soon I'll be back in Asia where it's easier for no reason but damn this dry spell sucks.
Rant over but feel free to comment. If I weren't so broke because of the move coming up, I'd just opt for a hooker. Less mind games and I get what I pay for with 0% anxiety.
I hope you were joking about the fedora thing. AFAIK that's basically poison for your prospects, I've not met a single woman who didn't have an almost comically severe, violent hatred of fedoras and the douchebags who wear them.
Anyway, I'm guessing you don't introduce yourself as "lood dood" when you're chatting up your prospects, but if you do, its probably not helping.
Oh no, I absolutely do not wear a fedora. I got friends who rock em and have never been kissed before. I think they look awful and I can see why no one goes for them. I also don't think that "I'm a nice guy and all women are assholes" either. My tastes in women are just shit and I think I just don't find any enjoyment in meaningless sex or the social dance of shallow interaction. I wish I could have all the benefits of a committed relationship without either party being tied down by the other, but I've never seen it happen.
I have luck on Tindr when I'm just like "ayy gurl want sum fuk?" and as soon as the convo moves out of the territory of fucking, I'll never hear back. All my Tindr "success" comes solely from talking about sex and trying too hard to be funny, but then when I'm in the bedroom nothing on my end works so I just wind up being a muffin muncher until they leave happy enough. When all is said and done I feel worse than I did pre-attempted-fucking. I've had some good one night stands before my relationship (aaaand during it when things were faltering) but the only good sex I've ever had was with people I'm in an ongoing thing with.
I think I'm just a relationship person instead of a one-off person. I love being single; ideally I'd live my life alone but with someone I'm cozy enough with who I can just do it up NSA with here and there on the side because living with even great women is a pain in the ass. Although I like to be committed, sometimes the give-and-take aspects just end up with me giving, never receiving (because for some reason I'm unconsciously attracted to these kinds of girls ). Like, I'm only ever happy when single, but the lack of human/sexual contact makes being single suck as well.
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BILL NYE IS A LIZARD. THEY'RE ALL LIZARDS!

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twelvelookslikeu
Stranger



Registered: 06/27/06
Posts: 738
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
#21995364 - 07/25/15 01:56 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I heard thinking about baseball helps
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Bodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*


Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan
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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
#21995377 - 07/25/15 01:58 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Doesnt seem like you have a problem getting laid, seems like you got a problem getting it up. She might act like she leaves happy but she aint gonna be coming back for seconds if all you got is limp dick and your fingers.
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lood_dood
Magical Badger Catcher



Registered: 05/20/14
Posts: 414
Loc: Galloway
Last seen: 7 years, 14 days
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Quote:
Bodhi of Ankou said: Doesnt seem like you have a problem getting laid, seems like you got a problem getting it up. She might act like she leaves happy but she aint gonna be coming back for seconds if all you got is limp dick and your fingers.
Well, the problem evolved into not getting laid because on one hand I just wanna bang, but on the other my loss of interest in shallow interactions both killed my game, and my function. It might be a performance anxiety thing (I'm not old at all, only a quarter of a century). I've always had minor functional difficulties to an extent with new partners (or hook-ups) before but not to the point where literally nothing happens. I hooked up with an ex who was in town for a day two weeks after my break up and had no problems (she lives on the other side of the country though, so it's not a booty-call I can rely on). It's just new people I can't seem to break through with.
My confidence is so dead as a result though. Even when I get myself pumped up about putting on my game for a girl, halfway through I'll hate everything about the game, and the fakeness of it all, and then my brain reminds me that I won't get it up anyway and I blow it. I've stopped using tindr, and I'll try to approach girls at bars here and there but half heartedly. And now there is a girl I like but she is backpacking the other side of the world who I wont see for another 4+ months. She definitely seems into me and is moving to the same country I'm going to as well. But now I'm thinking it might not be worth chasing because until I get my life sorted I'll screw it up. 
I think I just need to give myself some time to recover from my last relationship, get better at being single again, and not actively seek out sex for sex' sake. Mayhaps it's because I'm accidentally giving off the vibe that I'm looking to fulfill a need, and not that I am a chilled out confident dude who is fun and exciting to be around. I'm definitely no hard-ass, but when I'm comfortable and confident, I'm fun. My friends are always hitting me up when they want to have a good time because they know I'll make it better; but this slump has me all mooped out.
performance anxiety ED issues are no fun at 25 man. I just don't know how to fix them. At least I'm happy more often now that I'm single, instead of being miserable with the potential for monthly/bimonthly sex with my ex.
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BILL NYE IS A LIZARD. THEY'RE ALL LIZARDS!

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circularvortex
Bass Head



Registered: 08/31/06
Posts: 12,148
Loc:
Last seen: 5 months, 5 hours
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Quote:
BlindSophist said: Fatties are hot as fuck. Just do it.

Wouldn't you?
Guh. How do people handle being that big? I'm so glad I don't have to wash in between folds 
It's been like 5 months or so for me....if it goes too much longer I might have to break down
-------------------- No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction. For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool By making his world a little colder. Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.
 
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Seriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh



Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,473
Last seen: 44 minutes, 27 seconds
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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
#21996761 - 07/25/15 06:59 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Porn has ruined my boner-getting ability several times.
-------------------- R.I.P Zombi3, Blue Helix Modest Mouse Zappa Slothie That Kid With The face ShLong Le Canard split_by_nine & Big Worm Forever Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many
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Psilosopherr
A psilly goose



Registered: 02/15/12
Posts: 12,278
Last seen: 1 month, 10 days
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I'm worried about that being caused by porn. I'm becoming a porn addict lately.
This will all be over soon enough when VR really hits
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Seriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh



Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,473
Last seen: 44 minutes, 27 seconds
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VR and a fleshlight could honestly keep me content for a long time if I had to.
-------------------- R.I.P Zombi3, Blue Helix Modest Mouse Zappa Slothie That Kid With The face ShLong Le Canard split_by_nine & Big Worm Forever Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many
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lood_dood
Magical Badger Catcher



Registered: 05/20/14
Posts: 414
Loc: Galloway
Last seen: 7 years, 14 days
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Quote:
Seriously_trippin said:
VR and a fleshlight could honestly keep me content for a long time if I had to.
I hear that
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BILL NYE IS A LIZARD. THEY'RE ALL LIZARDS!

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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!


Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
#21997193 - 07/25/15 08:46 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Failing to get a stiffie shouldn't equate to a failure to satisfy your partner and have a good time yourself. Just finger her and eat her out, then have her jerk or suck off your flaccid weiner. You only really need to have an erection if you are intent on getting balls deep inside of her and knocking up her ova with your sperm. Otherwise, there are ways for you to get each other off without you needing to have an erection.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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lood_dood
Magical Badger Catcher



Registered: 05/20/14
Posts: 414
Loc: Galloway
Last seen: 7 years, 14 days
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Quote:
BlindSophist said: Failing to get a stiffie shouldn't equate to a failure to satisfy your partner and have a good time yourself. Just finger her and eat her out, then have her jerk or suck off your flaccid weiner. You only really need to have an erection if you are intent on getting balls deep inside of her and knocking up her ova with your sperm. Otherwise, there are ways for you to get each other off without you needing to have an erection.
That's the big problem, is just it wont do anything whatsoever. It's that catch 22 when I'm like "c'mon boner getup gawddamnit!" and it wont happen. At home alone, no problems; fuckin walk around like a king with it just never going down. So I just try to play it off like "Huh, don't know why that's going on, but let me make this about you." So I got my playing around otherwise game down, but I just feel like crap because at the end of the day here I am knowing that for whatever reason I just couldn't perform.
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BILL NYE IS A LIZARD. THEY'RE ALL LIZARDS!

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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!


Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
#21997356 - 07/25/15 09:26 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Let your fingers and tongue do the performance, her vagina doesn't care about what it's getting touched by as long as it does get touched, and in the right ways. Her orgasm is not contained in your weiner. Incidentally, getting her off and hearing her moan ecstatically from having your fingers and or tongue inside of her will probably raise your confidence and dispel the performance anxiety that is preventing you from being able to get it up.
Just for once, put the pussy on a pedestal. The rest will follow naturally.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!


Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Er, OK, so I just read your last post all the way through and now I feel like a jackass.
Anyway, I come back to my earlier point: you do not need a stiffie to get off. You can still get off from a handy J or a BJ even if you are flaccid. If she's not down to jerk off a flaccid cock after you got her off with your fingers and tongue, she is not worth your time.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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lood_dood
Magical Badger Catcher



Registered: 05/20/14
Posts: 414
Loc: Galloway
Last seen: 7 years, 14 days
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Quote:
BlindSophist said: Er, OK, so I just read your last post all the way through and now I feel like a jackass.
Anyway, I come back to my earlier point: you do not need a stiffie to get off. You can still get off from a handy J or a BJ even if you are flaccid. If she's not down to jerk off a flaccid cock after you got her off with your fingers and tongue, she is not worth your time.
Nah, don't need to feel like a jackass, you're trying to help. I probably just need to look at this from a more positive angle. Maybe work my way up into confidence or something. Maybe find a girl within my standards at a bar, buy her a drink, and see what she is doing after. If I can't get it up, blame it on the beer and get her off. Try my best, and try again another day. I just need to get over the anxiety.
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BILL NYE IS A LIZARD. THEY'RE ALL LIZARDS!

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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!


Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood] 1
#21997643 - 07/25/15 10:48 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I understand perfectly. I had a lot of experiences with feeling inadequate because I was too anxious and self conscious to get it up. It's rough.
In the end though, sex is all about blowing out pressure and feeling good. That's all that matters. Most girls will not hold it against you for not getting it up as long as you still make sure to get them off. There is no shame in performance anxiety, it really is just a sign of how concerned you are with your partner's enjoyment of the experience, and you should let that impulse be the main objective of your time in bed with her. Take care of her and she will give you more chances, and you will get more and more comfortable in bed with her. One day the anxiety will be gone and you will find yourself with a rampant boner and nowhere to put it but in her.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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lood_dood
Magical Badger Catcher



Registered: 05/20/14
Posts: 414
Loc: Galloway
Last seen: 7 years, 14 days
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Thanks  That is really good and honest advice. I'm just going to try my best and see what I can do. I care a lot that the person I'm with enjoys themself, and I know I let my fear of not being good enough kill my ability to do anything. Biology is strange like that. All the girls I've been with who've given me another chance past the fact all tell me I'm an amazing lover; I forget about that sometimes. Whelp, back to the grindstone next chance I get
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BILL NYE IS A LIZARD. THEY'RE ALL LIZARDS!

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elax420
Anal Destroyer


Registered: 10/16/12
Posts: 15,536
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Quote:
BlindSophist said: Let your fingers and tongue do the performance, her vagina doesn't care about what it's getting touched by as long as it does get touched, and in the right ways. Her orgasm is not contained in your weiner. Incidentally, getting her off and hearing her moan ecstatically from having your fingers and or tongue inside of her will probably raise your confidence and dispel the performance anxiety that is preventing you from being able to get it up.
Just for once, put the pussy on a pedestal. The rest will follow naturally.
Nahhhh.....
Some girls need the D dude. Like they can still get off for sure, but its not the same as fucking her and neither is the orgasm (at least through my personal experiences)
OP:
Just go with the flow dude. If its not happening get her to blow you till it is, if its still not, your probably with the wrong gal.
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circularvortex
Bass Head



Registered: 08/31/06
Posts: 12,148
Loc:
Last seen: 5 months, 5 hours
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Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: elax420]
#21999266 - 07/26/15 10:36 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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If that doesn't work buy some viagra or cialis from the internet to help get your confidence back. If you're a young guy it won't matter how anxious you are with those drugs in you that pecker'll stand at attention at a whisper of wind brushing by.
-------------------- No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction. For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool By making his world a little colder. Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.
 
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circularvortex
Bass Head



Registered: 08/31/06
Posts: 12,148
Loc:
Last seen: 5 months, 5 hours
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Quote:
BlindSophist said: I understand perfectly. I had a lot of experiences with feeling inadequate because I was too anxious and self conscious to get it up. It's rough.
In the end though, sex is all about blowing out pressure and feeling good. That's all that matters. Most girls will not hold it against you for not getting it up as long as you still make sure to get them off. There is no shame in performance anxiety, it really is just a sign of how concerned you are with your partner's enjoyment of the experience, and you should let that impulse be the main objective of your time in bed with her. Take care of her and she will give you more chances, and you will get more and more comfortable in bed with her. One day the anxiety will be gone and you will find yourself with a rampant boner and nowhere to put it but in her.
I thought you were a chick?
-------------------- No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction. For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool By making his world a little colder. Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.
 
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!


Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Quote:
circularvortex said:
Quote:
BlindSophist said: I understand perfectly. I had a lot of experiences with feeling inadequate because I was too anxious and self conscious to get it up. It's rough.
In the end though, sex is all about blowing out pressure and feeling good. That's all that matters. Most girls will not hold it against you for not getting it up as long as you still make sure to get them off. There is no shame in performance anxiety, it really is just a sign of how concerned you are with your partner's enjoyment of the experience, and you should let that impulse be the main objective of your time in bed with her. Take care of her and she will give you more chances, and you will get more and more comfortable in bed with her. One day the anxiety will be gone and you will find yourself with a rampant boner and nowhere to put it but in her.
I thought you were a chick?
we dont discriminate, girls can get erections as well
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