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Offlinelood_dood
Magical Badger Catcher
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Registered: 05/20/14
Posts: 414
Loc: Galloway
Last seen: 7 years, 14 days
Can't seem to get laid!
    #21993417 - 07/25/15 12:38 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

The title is superficial but so is the subject.

I was able to break out of a mostly sexless 5 year relationship over two months ago, and figured this would be my time to shine! Unfortunately I don't seem to have much luck. I'm only in my country for another month at most now so I've given up.

I tried a couple hookups but my junk didn't want to cooperate, so that opportunity passed by, and every girl I seem to attract is more superficial than I am or somewhere on the radar of new age tumblr bullshit I dont want to associate with. I only ever hit it off with girls online who I pretend not to be interested in, but then feel like a douche canoe because I have to pretend to be dumb as a rock and uncaring of them; and it's not true to me as a person. Any time I start talking with a girl I relate to and actually like, it shuts down out of nowhere the moment I express any interest in who they are as a person. What gives?

I'm ranting, and I'm not gonna pretend I'm part of that fedora mlady nice guy bullshit. I just wish I could find a way to have a meaningful one month sex fest with someone chill. At first it was 3 months but I've killed time. I mean, soon I'll be back in Asia where it's easier for no reason but damn this dry spell sucks.

Rant over but feel free to comment. If I weren't so broke because of the move coming up, I'd just opt for a hooker. Less mind games and I get what I pay for with 0% anxiety.:guiltyascharged:


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:brainondrugs: :dna: :tinfoil: BILL NYE IS A LIZARD. THEY'RE ALL LIZARDS! :tinfoil: :dna: :brainondrugs:


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InvisibleSteveRogers
gandy dancer
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Registered: 10/24/06
Posts: 3,450
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood] * 1
    #21993430 - 07/25/15 12:43 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Sorry about your limp dick.


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"General, I am loyal to nothing......except The Dream"


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InvisibleShroomopotamus
Happy Mushrooming
Female User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 09/27/09
Posts: 18,757
Loc: Funkotron
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: SteveRogers] * 1
    #21993432 - 07/25/15 12:44 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

l0l


--------------------
*
Live by the mushroom, die by the mushroom
:mushroom2::rainbowdrink:
This is a trap! A trap! You are all busted! Busted! You fools!
:twirlyface:

If a time comes where I fail to appear I've been abducted and I will miss you all
Please smile and pet puppies as often as possible
Be happy
Be nice
(<3);}


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InvisibleOeric McKenna
LIFE CAPS


Registered: 06/15/12
Posts: 5,318
Loc: Babylon Flag
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: SteveRogers]
    #21993437 - 07/25/15 12:46 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

He's sorry about it^

... try pills maybe


--------------------


spread love
love is everything
2013 finds
medicinal psilocybin tincture drops
cannabis pics


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Offlinelood_dood
Magical Badger Catcher
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Registered: 05/20/14
Posts: 414
Loc: Galloway
Last seen: 7 years, 14 days
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Oeric McKenna]
    #21993447 - 07/25/15 12:50 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Yeah, it sucks 6 in a row, or atleast I wish it did :awedance:
the weird thing is that when I've gotten hookers, I have no problems, maybe because there is a clear understanding of what's expected by both parties, but outside of that realm, the uncertainty has been giving me strange anxiety. I completely blew it with one girl because I was getting mixed signals when they were not as mixed as I thought.

Viagra is too expensive. Maybe it's time I turn to super 88 chinese boner pills :hairmetal:


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:brainondrugs: :dna: :tinfoil: BILL NYE IS A LIZARD. THEY'RE ALL LIZARDS! :tinfoil: :dna: :brainondrugs:


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InvisibleSteveRogers
gandy dancer
 User Gallery


Registered: 10/24/06
Posts: 3,450
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21993457 - 07/25/15 12:53 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Viagra doesn't fix psychological problems.


Just order it from Canada :cookiemonster:
They are too drunk to care about drugs laws.


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"General, I am loyal to nothing......except The Dream"


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Invisiblelets drive around
That kid with a stupid low Jetta
Male User Gallery


Registered: 07/25/13
Posts: 1,060
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: SteveRogers]
    #21993458 - 07/25/15 12:54 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

SteveRogers said:
Sorry about your limp dick.




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InvisibleNitrous Monkey
selftitled
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Registered: 09/21/12
Posts: 3,150
Loc: USA Flag
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21993459 - 07/25/15 12:54 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I'll give you a boner :naughty:


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 3 minutes
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood] * 3
    #21993462 - 07/25/15 12:56 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Ever notice the people who can't get laid are almost always the ones that are fixated and obsessed with it? They go out of their way to say and do things they wouldn't normally do just to "raise their chances". The fact you only hit it off with girls who you go out of your way to express a non-interest in only furthers this point.

You'd be surprised by the body language and mindset you convey into a readable format that would prove difficult for anyone at all to define, yet people can pick up on these cues without even knowing they are.

If you want to get laid, you first need to not want to get laid.

Same exact reason that as soon as you're in a relationship, everyone basically starts throwing themselves at you.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


Edited by Shroomslip (07/25/15 12:57 AM)


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Offlinelood_dood
Magical Badger Catcher
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Registered: 05/20/14
Posts: 414
Loc: Galloway
Last seen: 7 years, 14 days
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21993476 - 07/25/15 01:04 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

It does work that way I notice, which also makes no sense but what can you do? I'm happy and don't care too much most days, but ill be damned if some aren't harder than others. Today was one of them.

As for the psychological stuff, I'm not even sure what to do about it. I've had no luck stateside, and soon arriving in a country where the idea of being an alcoholic doesn't exist; let alone mental health issues.


--------------------
:brainondrugs: :dna: :tinfoil: BILL NYE IS A LIZARD. THEY'RE ALL LIZARDS! :tinfoil: :dna: :brainondrugs:


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InvisibleSteveRogers
gandy dancer
 User Gallery


Registered: 10/24/06
Posts: 3,450
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood] * 1
    #21993486 - 07/25/15 01:07 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

So you are saying you are a mentally ill limp dicked drunk who is terrified of women who aren't whores?


--------------------
"General, I am loyal to nothing......except The Dream"


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Offlinelood_dood
Magical Badger Catcher
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Registered: 05/20/14
Posts: 414
Loc: Galloway
Last seen: 7 years, 14 days
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: SteveRogers]
    #21993508 - 07/25/15 01:14 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

SteveRogers said:
So you are saying you are a mentally ill limp dicked drunk who is terrified of women who aren't whores?




Well when you put it that way...


Nah, for realsies though I'm just probably dealing with relationship moop without realizing it. Not the alcoholic part, I don't drink much, but I did find out that the concept of alcoholism does not exist where I am moving, but they also have uber cheap booze.

And not terrified by women. Women are great, more of my friends are women than men. It's just strange being back in the single world. I havent been single for more than a few weeks for about 10 years now.


--------------------
:brainondrugs: :dna: :tinfoil: BILL NYE IS A LIZARD. THEY'RE ALL LIZARDS! :tinfoil: :dna: :brainondrugs:


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InvisibleOeric McKenna
LIFE CAPS


Registered: 06/15/12
Posts: 5,318
Loc: Babylon Flag
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21993533 - 07/25/15 01:25 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Thinking about the boner kills it...
Never think about the boner! think about the puss..


--------------------


spread love
love is everything
2013 finds
medicinal psilocybin tincture drops
cannabis pics


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OfflinePsilosopherr
A psilly goose
Other User Gallery


Registered: 02/15/12
Posts: 12,278
Last seen: 1 month, 10 days
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21993535 - 07/25/15 01:27 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I remember sex :sad:


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
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Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood] * 1
    #21993542 - 07/25/15 01:32 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

lood_dood said:
Can't seem to get laid!






crawl up a chicken's ass and wait, it will happen


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Invisible1234go
Ban Lotto Champion
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Registered: 07/08/09
Posts: 53,874
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21993547 - 07/25/15 01:40 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)





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OfflineSeriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh
Male User Gallery


Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,473
Last seen: 26 minutes, 8 seconds
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21993581 - 07/25/15 02:12 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomslip said:
Ever notice the people who can't get laid are almost always the ones that are fixated and obsessed with it? They go out of their way to say and do things they wouldn't normally do just to "raise their chances". The fact you only hit it off with girls who you go out of your way to express a non-interest in only furthers this point.

You'd be surprised by the body language and mindset you convey into a readable format that would prove difficult for anyone at all to define, yet people can pick up on these cues without even knowing they are.

If you want to get laid, you first need to not want to get laid.

Same exact reason that as soon as you're in a relationship, everyone basically starts throwing themselves at you.



This was the only way I could stop bitching and just put myself in the position of possibly attracting a chick and then I be myself. Works a lot better then staring at a chick across the room until some magic symbol appears on her forehead saying fuck me :lol: Trying hard,having a set "gameplan" or any pre planned thought of how to get laid NEVER works imo. I've pulled some of the hottest bitches by talking music and stuff with them like any other person and then saying as simple as "You are beautiful" In all honesty though you don't even need to say that.

I have pulled a couple of chicks by being semi rude or just disinterested but never by trying hard. It's an elegant system but way too simple, for a long time I thought for sure the more thought and effort you put into it the easier it would be.It's the exact opposite.

Also I think when you don't try hard you are more relaxed and have a more confident disposition and definitely reduces the look of disparity. A big part of picking up chicks is confidence,tone and body language.


--------------------
R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many :heart:


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Offlinemakaveli8x8
Stranger
Male User Gallery
Registered: 02/28/06
Posts: 21,636
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: lood_dood]
    #21993616 - 07/25/15 03:00 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

do what i do OP and go fuck yourself  :readmylipsfuckyou:

let me know if that works out for you


--------------------
We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.


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Invisibleelax420
Anal Destroyer
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/16/12
Posts: 15,536
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #21993640 - 07/25/15 03:23 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:

lood_dood said:
Can't seem to get laid!






crawl up a chicken's ass and wait, it will happen




:ilold:
That was so stupid it was funny


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InvisibleOeric McKenna
LIFE CAPS


Registered: 06/15/12
Posts: 5,318
Loc: Babylon Flag
Re: Can't seem to get laid! [Re: elax420]
    #21993681 - 07/25/15 04:19 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Its a southern thing....


--------------------


spread love
love is everything
2013 finds
medicinal psilocybin tincture drops
cannabis pics


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