For your enjoyment. Copyrighted by me.
explanation
Quote:
i may have been under the influence of an inebriant while drying off after taking a shower one day. curious, i hopped on one leg and kicked my leg in the air, did a half-twist and held my ass-cheeks apart. i hadn't seen my asshole in at least a decade (i'm 29); since that first hemrrhoid came along. wow. what a disgusting shithole, literally. i'm an OCD motherfucker too, and i stay clean as a whistle. but wow. it's just SO visually unappealing. the first thing that came to my mind was "she ate that?!" some X wanted to toss me; i'm not going to turn it down. no lies, didnt do much. awkward situation. maybe we were doing the wrong position or something? i was on all fours and she was similarly predisposed behind me munchin away. nowthat i think about it, it had to have been a suboptimal position. she's using shoulder muscles that she typically don't employ; which completely takes reacharounds off the table, which is kinda needed since the only sexual stimulation i'm getting is a mix between what I'd envision a tiolet-dwelling-sex-monster's attack to be and the mental sadism associated with having someone you love litearlly tonging your shitbox. I suppose if she sat upright, indian style around my thighs, then both hands would be free to work my shaft and balls while remaining tonguetied and twisted.
sorry, this might be a little over the top. i realize we don't us the term indian style anymore. what is it these days? criss-cross-applesauce? i'm sure it's tough to make kids sit down and stuff, but is sitting really such a task that we need instructions in the name? like, why don't we just tell them to "sit"? My roommate, an anthro man who views everything through an evolutionary lense, would likely chime in that teachers probably tried that in the past, and the fucking witless children probably would roll and flop uncontrollably or something, and then teachers figured out how to get kids to sit uniformly - and at the same time constrain their legs so as to discourage kicking. which kids seem to have an insatiable appetite for. and speaking of kicking, WTF humans. how have you not developed more protection for the shin bone. or my nuts. my roommate would likely chime in and say that our nuts are hangin' out so we can show ladies how large and full of potential babies they are; which, millions of years ago, probably helped some humanoids get some 'tang. these days if a chick is gauging the volume of your testicles, you're either (likely) going to get laid regardless, or you'll be in jail before the effects of your testicles volume can be beneficial or detrimental to your gene's longevity. and seeing as how we're not continuously displaying our nuts for potential mates, and how society has increasingly strayed from what would typically be considered "traditional masculinity" (marlbro reds, buffalo herding, stetson hats, farming without heavy machinery, beards, misogny) it'd be great if the boys could evolve back into my skeletal shell. or, conversely, science could hurry up and make an implementable circuit-breaker for pain, whereby sudden and damaging shocks to sensitive areas would be immediately remedied either by a fleeting disconnection of the neural pathway, or by an immediate and direct injection of some michael-jackson-sleepytime-pain med. i realize the body already has this functionality, and it's called going into shock, or being in shock, but the threshold for that isn't set manually, and myself and many of my comrades in humanity would like the threshold for that to be lower.
Edited by memes (07/22/15 03:35 PM)
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