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InvisibleDietrootbear
makes u think
Female


Registered: 08/23/11
Posts: 724
Loc: Sheffield, UK Flag
Pick-Up Tips from A Real Life Lothario * 2
    #21980361 - 07/22/15 01:49 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

You may not recognize me, I don’t post on this forum often, but that’s mainly because I spend a lot more time having sex than talking about it…I’m what you might call a lady-killer, 7/10 in the looks department, 3/10 in the mental department, but I still get laid on average three times a week, and with so many women that I’ve lost count. You see, it’s more of an art than a science, but they still have art classes right? Haha, so consider this a kind of workshop. I pity some of you dudes out there struggling like hell to hook the snatch at least once, so I figured I’d impart some of my experiential knowledge. I don’t want to hear any of that feminist shit about how pick-up methods are inherently rapey or whatever…I’m just giving the formulas, I didn’t tell you to do anything :lol:.

1. Don’t come in all image, you gotta be self-effacing. You don’t want to be invisible, but trying to be the “ideal” man is going to send women running. Girls don’t want a competition, they like to be dominated, no doubt about it, but they have to feel equal at the start. The submissive side doesn’t come out until you’ve appealed to their vanity. Usually what I do is put on a fake prophet beard, some woolen rags, and enter the club in hunchback posture with a handmade walking stick. You want to create an air of mystery, but not one so brooding that it intimidates.

2. Don’t talk about yourself right away. Make an effort to sound interested in something beyond your own desires. Selflessness is hot. The most effective way to get what you want is to act like you don’t want it. When a woman approaches you, start screaming about the Metatron and the end times. I usually employ this method at the beach and it has rewarded me with truckloads of pussy again and again.

3. Take her on an adventure. External or internal, it doesn’t matter. Introduce her to penis sounding. Put some psychs in her drink, remember: what she won’t taste won’t hurt her. Most women say they want a relationship like Sex in the City, or some television show, but what they really want is demonic faces appearing in the darkness for two years after a bad drug experience. Suffering is romantic. Put some shrooms in her fruit cake, whatever works. Remember: girls don’t actually know what they want, you have to lead them down an exciting path.

4. Don’t bother with sub-6s. If you’re a hot man with lots of options, you’re wasting your time. Time is money, and money is pussy, and we’re all running out of time, so we’re all running out of pussy. I mean right now, this very moment, the pussy count in your local area is declining. Dudes are snatching it up like the hottest title at the local Gamestop. You have to be discerning, decisive, and disinterested, the three Ds. I say disinterested as in not openly eager, remember point 2.

5. Work out. I mean this seriously, if you’re a fat ass, nothing good is going to come of it. It’s unhealthy for your body and unhealthy for your love life. You want a beautiful woman, you have to look beautiful. Roids are not out of the question, they are not as dangerous as they sound. I’ve seen dudes using roids for years and still breathing and fucking at top capacity. The anti-roid culture is purely founded on myths. Whatever technologies that can aid your game are on your side. You wouldn’t deny chemotherapy if you had cancer just because it has “negative side effects”, would you? Think of involuntary celibacy as a form of cancer, and steroids are the cure. Protein shakes, tanning booths, testosterone supplements, and cologne are just as welcome in your Pick-Up Phalanx as juicing.

6. Every woman is unique. Don’t forget it. Despite what I’ve said here, there is no real formula for “what women want”. They are each a special puzzle, which is why you must pay absolute attention when you’re on your game. You can’t solve a crossword by reading a Wikipedia page about crosswords, can you? Of course not. Each girl is an obstacle course, full of her own challenges and pitfalls, but at the end of every obstacle course is a trophy. And what does a trophy resemble? That’s right: a vagina.

Well…those are my main points. Remember the three Ds guys. Believe in yourself, above all. In Judaism there is a wall between the mind and the world made out of thought. Demons live on this wall always trying to take our power from us. Doubt is a demon, and you’ll never get through the wall to the pussy so long as you keep feeding him.

:bunnypeace:  :bunnypeace:  :bunnypeace:  :mariopeace:  :mariopeace:  :mariopeace:


Edited by Dietrootbear (07/22/15 03:43 PM)


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InvisibleJohnnieYen
Okay
I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 3,529
Loc: City Z
Re: Pick-Up Tips from A Real Life Lothario [Re: Dietrootbear]
    #21980397 - 07/22/15 02:01 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

:yeahthatsright:


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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Pick-Up Tips from A Real Life Lothario [Re: JohnnieYen]
    #21980550 - 07/22/15 02:54 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

pm JustForToday


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Offlinefbi365
Captain of the Sinking Ship
Male


Registered: 02/07/11
Posts: 2,857
Loc: Nowhere
Last seen: 4 months, 9 days
Re: Pick-Up Tips from A Real Life Lothario [Re: zappaisgod]
    #21980579 - 07/22/15 03:05 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

:cookiemonster: Damn. This is on point OP.


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InvisibleJohnnieYen
Okay
I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 3,529
Loc: City Z
Re: Pick-Up Tips from A Real Life Lothario [Re: fbi365]
    #21980619 - 07/22/15 03:15 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

this is a troll thread right? I mean who dresses up like a cripple, screaming about end times whilst drugging a girl just to get laid...


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Offlinefbi365
Captain of the Sinking Ship
Male


Registered: 02/07/11
Posts: 2,857
Loc: Nowhere
Last seen: 4 months, 9 days
Re: Pick-Up Tips from A Real Life Lothario [Re: JohnnieYen] * 2
    #21980650 - 07/22/15 03:23 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

People who get laid. A lot. :earlycuyler:


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InvisibleJohnnieYen
Okay
I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 3,529
Loc: City Z
Re: Pick-Up Tips from A Real Life Lothario [Re: fbi365]
    #21980712 - 07/22/15 03:40 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)



just reminds me of this


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OfflineTheGreenArrow
Goodbye, Mr. Chops.
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 15,270
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
Re: Pick-Up Tips from A Real Life Lothario [Re: JohnnieYen]
    #21980764 - 07/22/15 03:55 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

This was worth reading.


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A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an
invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a
sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the
dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an
equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a
computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.
Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein
Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs


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