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OfflineJanky Tits
Registered: 06/19/14
Posts: 4,037
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) * 4
    #21977368 - 07/21/15 08:18 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

So I want to surprise my partner with anal sex. I thought id surprised her by getting ready in the usual doggy style position but instead of sticking it in the big one I stick it in her asshole. She is a freaky so she probably might like it. However I'm scared that if I stick it in her asshole without letting her know ahead of time I might get shit on my dick. I don't know how anal works really, do you have to clean your asshole real good or does it not matter and can you just stick it in the pooper as long as she hasn't taken a dump in the past 5 hours or isn't about to take a dump? Should I let her know or surprised her and risk the possibility of surprising my penis by turning it into a fudgesickle?


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Invisiblenooneman
Male

Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,561
Loc: Utah
Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Janky Tits] * 12
    #21977370 - 07/21/15 08:19 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

No... this is just... no. This is not how you anal.


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InvisibleGottaloveacid
Weedbass
Male


Registered: 10/20/14
Posts: 3,421
Loc: Colorado, USA
Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: nooneman] * 5
    #21977378 - 07/21/15 08:21 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Have fun putting your dick in a butthole with no lube

At least fuck her in the pussy first, that way there is something to help you in the bumhole


--------------------
   
:mushroom2::mushroom2: The greatest story ever told is the story that never ends!:mushroom2::mushroom2:

wubba lubba dub dubstep :gimmebass:


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InvisibleSheekle
FREE BURKE
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Janky Tits] * 1
    #21977384 - 07/21/15 08:22 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Don't do that and if you do wind up doing it, don't make a thread saying "how gross is this" with a picture after


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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InvisibleBurke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Janky Tits] * 13
    #21977392 - 07/21/15 08:23 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I want to surprise you with a slap to your stupid face.


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 4 hours, 11 minutes
Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Janky Tits] * 1
    #21977393 - 07/21/15 08:24 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Here's a thought, if you don't know how anal works, don't do it.

Or actually do it and come tell us about how you got slapped for just shoving it in her ass with no warning at all.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Janky Tits]
    #21977396 - 07/21/15 08:24 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Uh, she might get really pissed if you "accidentally" slip her one up there, so I'd ask her first if I were you....


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 10 hours, 38 minutes
Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Le_Canard] * 1
    #21977409 - 07/21/15 08:26 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I just had butt sex for the first time tonight myself!

Totally by surprise too.

The girl threw herself at me.

I think I got laid in the process too.

I'm still analyzing what just happened to me


--------------------


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Offlinemaynard
Stranger
 User Gallery


Registered: 08/02/13
Posts: 164
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Burke Dennings]
    #21977413 - 07/21/15 08:26 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Stick a fist in first


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Invisible404
error
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Janky Tits]
    #21977425 - 07/21/15 08:28 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

the ass is another playing field my friend. you have to use a lot of lube, and go slow... otherwise, and especially if they've never done it before, they will be turned off of the idea of anal forever. do yourself and future male patrons a favor by not just shoving it in there cause you wanted to try something new really really bad.


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Invisiblemillzy
Male

Registered: 05/12/10
Posts: 12,404
Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: 404] * 2
    #21977455 - 07/21/15 08:34 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

buy her flowers if you want to surprise her.


--------------------
I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger


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Invisiblespock
journeyman
Registered: 08/26/03
Posts: 1,165
Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: millzy] * 1
    #21977514 - 07/21/15 08:45 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

DSHSB?  J/K

Peace
Spock


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OfflineIhateyou
Stranger

Registered: 03/29/15
Posts: 568
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: spock] * 1
    #21977554 - 07/21/15 08:52 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

:tard: and how long did it take you to think this plan up?


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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Ihateyou]
    #21977575 - 07/21/15 08:56 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

you can't stick anything in a butt without lube

try a pinky first

when that gets more settled in a finger
and maybe after a week or so two fingers

then you can bust in her poopy asshole


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Invisiblespock
journeyman
Registered: 08/26/03
Posts: 1,165
Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Ihateyou]
    #21977593 - 07/21/15 09:01 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Not long. Haven't been here in a while and was surprised it not mentioned.
Cool pic.

Peace
Spock


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OfflineDetached
You know where...


Registered: 02/27/15
Posts: 2,942
Last seen: 10 months, 15 days
Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: spock]
    #21977879 - 07/21/15 10:06 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Anal is only fun if the recipient tries to resist.

Otherwise it's like fucking a bowl of warm shit. :shrug:


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: nooneman] * 7
    #21977904 - 07/21/15 10:10 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

nooneman said:
No... this is just... no. This is not how you anal.





correct... you need a running start


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Offliner00tuuu123
Now I'm just really piseed
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/20/12
Posts: 8,507
Loc: I'll be there in a minute
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Detached] * 3
    #21977928 - 07/21/15 10:15 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)


At least it wont smell like poop. :shrug:


--------------------
:kingcrankey: Please report me to a Mod for hurting your punk ass hippie feelings :flipthebird: And all time Champion thread killer.:thatsayes:


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InvisibleBurke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Janky Tits] * 9
    #21977941 - 07/21/15 10:17 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

LOL, pub mods now condone anal rape.  Just not from bassfreak.


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Offlinemakaveli8x8
Stranger
Male User Gallery
Registered: 02/28/06
Posts: 21,636
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Burke Dennings]
    #21978037 - 07/21/15 10:44 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

just take a carrot into the bedroom with you, she'll know whats going on and then you won't have to actually say it. If you want you could print out moose's picture and show it to her, and be like, i bet you'd look good like this


--------------------
We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.


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