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Janky Tits
Registered: 06/19/14
Posts: 4,037
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
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Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) 4
#21977368 - 07/21/15 08:18 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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So I want to surprise my partner with anal sex. I thought id surprised her by getting ready in the usual doggy style position but instead of sticking it in the big one I stick it in her asshole. She is a freaky so she probably might like it. However I'm scared that if I stick it in her asshole without letting her know ahead of time I might get shit on my dick. I don't know how anal works really, do you have to clean your asshole real good or does it not matter and can you just stick it in the pooper as long as she hasn't taken a dump in the past 5 hours or isn't about to take a dump? Should I let her know or surprised her and risk the possibility of surprising my penis by turning it into a fudgesickle?
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nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,561
Loc: Utah
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Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Janky Tits] 12
#21977370 - 07/21/15 08:19 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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No... this is just... no. This is not how you anal.
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Gottaloveacid
Weedbass



Registered: 10/20/14
Posts: 3,421
Loc: Colorado, USA
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Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: nooneman] 5
#21977378 - 07/21/15 08:21 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Have fun putting your dick in a butthole with no lube
At least fuck her in the pussy first, that way there is something to help you in the bumhole
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 The greatest story ever told is the story that never ends! wubba lubba dub dubstep
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Janky Tits] 1
#21977384 - 07/21/15 08:22 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Don't do that and if you do wind up doing it, don't make a thread saying "how gross is this" with a picture after
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Janky Tits] 13
#21977392 - 07/21/15 08:23 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I want to surprise you with a slap to your stupid face.
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 4 hours, 11 minutes
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Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Janky Tits] 1
#21977393 - 07/21/15 08:24 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Here's a thought, if you don't know how anal works, don't do it.
Or actually do it and come tell us about how you got slapped for just shoving it in her ass with no warning at all.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
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Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Janky Tits]
#21977396 - 07/21/15 08:24 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Uh, she might get really pissed if you "accidentally" slip her one up there, so I'd ask her first if I were you....
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 10 hours, 38 minutes
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Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Le_Canard] 1
#21977409 - 07/21/15 08:26 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I just had butt sex for the first time tonight myself!
Totally by surprise too.
The girl threw herself at me.
I think I got laid in the process too.
I'm still analyzing what just happened to me
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maynard
Stranger



Registered: 08/02/13
Posts: 164
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
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Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Burke Dennings]
#21977413 - 07/21/15 08:26 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Stick a fist in first
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Janky Tits]
#21977425 - 07/21/15 08:28 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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the ass is another playing field my friend. you have to use a lot of lube, and go slow... otherwise, and especially if they've never done it before, they will be turned off of the idea of anal forever. do yourself and future male patrons a favor by not just shoving it in there cause you wanted to try something new really really bad.
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millzy


Registered: 05/12/10
Posts: 12,404
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Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: 404] 2
#21977455 - 07/21/15 08:34 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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buy her flowers if you want to surprise her.
-------------------- I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger
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spock
journeyman
Registered: 08/26/03
Posts: 1,165
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Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: millzy] 1
#21977514 - 07/21/15 08:45 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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DSHSB? J/K
Peace Spock
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Ihateyou
Stranger

Registered: 03/29/15
Posts: 568
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: spock] 1
#21977554 - 07/21/15 08:52 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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and how long did it take you to think this plan up?
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Konyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Ihateyou]
#21977575 - 07/21/15 08:56 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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you can't stick anything in a butt without lube
try a pinky first
when that gets more settled in a finger and maybe after a week or so two fingers
then you can bust in her poopy asshole
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spock
journeyman
Registered: 08/26/03
Posts: 1,165
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Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Ihateyou]
#21977593 - 07/21/15 09:01 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Not long. Haven't been here in a while and was surprised it not mentioned. Cool pic.
Peace Spock
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Detached
You know where...


Registered: 02/27/15
Posts: 2,942
Last seen: 10 months, 15 days
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Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: spock]
#21977879 - 07/21/15 10:06 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Anal is only fun if the recipient tries to resist.
Otherwise it's like fucking a bowl of warm shit.
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!


Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: nooneman] 7
#21977904 - 07/21/15 10:10 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
nooneman said: No... this is just... no. This is not how you anal.
correct... you need a running start
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r00tuuu123
Now I'm just really piseed



Registered: 04/20/12
Posts: 8,507
Loc: I'll be there in a minute
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Detached] 3
#21977928 - 07/21/15 10:15 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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At least it wont smell like poop.
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Please report me to a Mod for hurting your punk ass hippie feelings And all time Champion thread killer.
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Janky Tits] 9
#21977941 - 07/21/15 10:17 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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LOL, pub mods now condone anal rape. Just not from bassfreak.
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makaveli8x8
Stranger

Registered: 02/28/06
Posts: 21,636
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: Trying anal for the first time (Surprise butt sex) [Re: Burke Dennings]
#21978037 - 07/21/15 10:44 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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just take a carrot into the bedroom with you, she'll know whats going on and then you won't have to actually say it. If you want you could print out moose's picture and show it to her, and be like, i bet you'd look good like this
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  We were sent to hell for eternity Ø h® We play on earth to pass the time Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.
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