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OfflineSkizor1337
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Registered: 06/19/12
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Suicidal Thoughts --- Need Advise Please
    #21973774 - 07/21/15 12:05 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

First off I am not calling any hotline.

I would prefer to at least give people on here a chance to take me seriously since no one in the world has.


The world can be an amazing place with amazing friends, family, experiences, and most importantly security with yourself. Recently nothing has been positive or fun or enjoyable.

I feel like over the past 3 months life has gotten progressively worse every day that goes by. It all started in the end of May when I just graduated college with a Bachelors degree. All my friends from college were able to get amazing jobs and start living the life that was made for them. I was the unfortunate one that never got taken seriously. Overall I am a very outgoing and friendly person that works hard for anything I want to accomplish. I had no problems in college with learning and advancing through my 4 years. All of a sudden all of my friends are gone from college and I am left with no one around except my family. I started looking for a job ever since college has let out and have yet to find anything at all in my state or even surrounding states. I also have no friends because the friends I met 4 years ago have moved out of state or across the country to start new jobs. So I am by myself with nobody except my family. My family is also having major issues with my older brother because he just got caught by the police with heroin and just got sent to rehab last week. My family is a mess and I cant keep my shit together at all. I also have been completely torn apart by any female that i encounter with which makes things 100 times worse. I have gone through 15 girls in the past couple months and all of them disappear without a trace after we start to get close and I don't get any sort of explanation. YES 15 I have kept track and I keep a daily journal of my life and after reading back a few weeks I just basically lost hope in myself.

I know how awesome life is because I have had amazing friends and girlfriends and fun times with family. I thought I had life figured out but now everything I want to work for just keeps falling through and not working. I started smoking weed again which is bad because I'm trying to get a full time position and in my field I will be drug tested for sure. 

Like what the fuck am I supposed to do? Nobody and i mean FUCKING nobody is taking me seriously and I don't understand why. I think its this shitty trashy area I live in but for fucks sake where are the Real people at that actually give a fucking shit about anything. I'm being sucked into hell slowly and if shit doesn't change I will end up in hell.

I don't care what people think bout me and if I don't get any real help then I will make sure I don't need anymore help and end my problems my own way.


--------------------
100% Professional Psychonaut
Trippin' Aint Easy




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Anonymous #1

Re: Suicidal Thoughts --- Need Advise Please [Re: Skizor1337]
    #21974585 - 07/21/15 07:37 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quit ganja and apply online to a seminary school.


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Re: Suicidal Thoughts --- Need Advise Please [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21974792 - 07/21/15 09:02 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

You sound kind of self absorbed. Your problems really aren't that bad at all, and if you''d look even at your own family, you'd see that lots of people have way more punishing shit to deal with. Keep looking for a job and keep some momentum going. Look for a trade or internship to hold you over if you're struggling to find a job you want. I'm taking a summer course to be an EMT, and I've got way more than a high school diploma. Being an EMT will keep me busy and help me get on track to doing something that I want to do. Figure out what you want to do and then figure out how to do it in a way that will work. Offing yourself is a lame idea.:thumbdown:


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InvisibleSteveRogers
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Re: Suicidal Thoughts --- Need Advise Please [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
    #21976506 - 07/21/15 05:01 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Killing yourself is unbelievably selfish and juvenile.

We have a forum for bullshit like this. Take it over there.
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/postlist.php/Board/42


--------------------
"General, I am loyal to nothing......except The Dream"


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Re: Suicidal Thoughts --- Need Advise Please [Re: SteveRogers]
    #21981700 - 07/22/15 07:35 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

You doing okay, OP?


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OfflinePed
Interested In Your Brain
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Re: Suicidal Thoughts --- Need Advise Please [Re: Mr.GuessWork] * 1
    #21983629 - 07/23/15 08:42 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

C'mon guys.  We've all been young, and we've all felt like this at one time or another.  How many of you can really say you haven't found yourself frustrated by disappointments in life, or contemplating what the real point of continuing with life actually is?  How many of you can really say you've never been self-absorbed, particularly in your youth? All of that is just part of the human experience.

When somebody is having suicidal thoughts, declaring "character flaw" is not helpful. When somebody is confronting flaws in their life, drawing attention to more flaws is not going to reverse their train of thought.  If the OP does have character flaws (we all do), he will confront them on his own time when he is ready, not because some people on the internet said so.


>> I thought I had life figured out but now everything I want to work for just keeps falling through and not working.

First of all, I want acknowledge what a difficult feeling that is.  When I was in my 20s, I was making a six figure salary, had an amazing and beautiful girlfriend I thought I was going to marry, and felt as though life would be smooth sailing from there forward.  Today, I'm broke all the time, struggle to get by, and have to guard against becoming preoccupied with the failure of past relationships.  All the good things I had going fell through, all the things I had working stopped working, and there were times when I wondered if there was any point in trying again or if it would be better to give up now.

Eventually, it became clear that the source of my angst was the disconnect between what I wanted and expected out of life, and what I actually got out of life. To resolve it, I had to learn how to accept my life as it is instead of trying to impose what I want and expect upon it.  As soon as I stopped trying to control things, and as soon as I stopped dwelling on the gap between expectations and reality, those feelings of hopeless dissatisfaction started to drain away.

It sounds like your experiences have damaged your confidence, causing you to suppose that you're not good enough to have a good life.  At the end of the day, mixing your identity with your experiences like that only causes turbulence.  It's very common to derive information about your identity from your experiences, but doing leads straight into confusion and fatigue.  It's not what happened before that defines you; it's what you do now, and what you do now is perhaps the only thing in life over which you have executive control.  You can relinquish that if you want, but you'll be cheating yourself out of a lifetime of possibilities, and your loved ones out of the joy of loving you.


--------------------


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OfflineElff
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Re: Suicidal Thoughts --- Need Advise Please [Re: Skizor1337]
    #21984399 - 07/23/15 12:07 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

hey OP dont loose heart man, be open to all kinds of jobs man and don't be too specific that you will work only a certain kind of job, just get any start that you can and one  thing will lead to so many other opportunities..

sucicidal thoughts aint gonna do ya no good, you gotta live to rise up from your troubles, and your troubles are only hard as you think them to be, be brave kiddo theres so much more to life than a perfect job with a big fat pay check,live to love and love to live

keep smiling man you've done really well so far


--------------------


"No drug causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs— we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed, and love of power."  - PJ O’Rourke


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InvisibleLackToast
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Registered: 08/28/10
Posts: 217
Re: Suicidal Thoughts --- Need Advise Please [Re: Elff]
    #21985848 - 07/23/15 04:00 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!

Find a new life
move on
find a better life
be happy
make new experiences
you own nobody anything.

women suck anyways, where are they when you need them? off looking for greener pastures, thats where, so fuck'em.
you dont have to go away forever just long enough to know youll be alright with whatever you choose.
make new friends in new places, go to Australia and work at a resort.
Do something, we cant help you from our computers, its still you who has to do something.

Pennsylvania must fucking suck man, dont let it drag you down with all the other people like your brother who turn to hard drugs.


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InvisibleZippoZM
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Re: Suicidal Thoughts --- Need Advise Please [Re: Skizor1337]
    #21988067 - 07/24/15 12:46 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

well my good man, life is what you make it. which is far more easier said than done, and im sorry to hear of your hardships.

with a lot of hurdles in front of you, and it seems like there are quite a few, its easy to fall into a cycle of negative thinking, visualizing your own death as a way to escape mentally. Hell, even knowing that you have the option to do it gives you a little bit of mental control over a situation where you feel like you have none.

From what it sounds like, after 4 years of relative freedom, you're back at home and you feel suffocated by your family. At the very least, the lack of having something to do, i.e. having a degree to complete, is probably leaving you unfulfilled as a person. And from what I read, i think that lack of fulfillment, that lack of accomplishment, is leaving you in a position where you don't really feel that great about yourself. And id be willing to bet that that low self image is getting projected to the women you feel rejected by. Its kind of a viscous cycle.

my advice to you, dont worry about the women, dont worry about the family, find something that makes you feel good about yourself, Find something that you can feel accomplished with. Set some goals and accomplish them, be it working out, a hobby, reading a book, taking a trip. Make it something productive you can do for you. Build up your self worth and confidence, and with that, everything else will come.

The way we feel about ourselves really projects outward. Crippling self doubt and low self worth... that is the very thing that will scare women off, and tank the job interview.


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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Offlinesprinkles
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Registered: 10/13/12
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Re: Suicidal Thoughts --- Need Advise Please [Re: Skizor1337]
    #21988090 - 07/24/15 12:54 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

so your family is fucked up, you hate your job, and your friends are dumb.  thats life. 


Things can get always get worse and the option to kill yourself will always be there.  so change some things and who knows what tomorrow may bring.
you would be putting everything you know on a table, spinning a wheel not knowing what the payoff or outcome may be. It could be much worse.  Thats just not a good bet.


Atleast you dont live in chronic fucking pain, or have rats to feed, or homeless.


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welcome to my world http://www.shroomery.org/forums/postlist.php/Board/326


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Offlinesprinkles
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Re: Suicidal Thoughts --- Need Advise Please [Re: sprinkles]
    #21988116 - 07/24/15 01:00 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

i am all for people killing themselves, dont get me wrong.  If you're not having a good time here you shouldnt be made to stay miserable for the rest of your existance.    I just see nothing from you that i would consider suicide worthy.  Desensitize emotionally and let go of things that are outside of your control. 


You do you.  Stay in your own hula hoop and on your own side of the street.  to hell with everyone else.  fuckin RUINERS anyway.  PPL=SHT.


--------------------
welcome to my world http://www.shroomery.org/forums/postlist.php/Board/326


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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
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Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
Re: Suicidal Thoughts --- Need Advise Please [Re: Skizor1337]
    #21995075 - 07/25/15 12:36 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

u'd probably feel alot better if i told u about my loser life, but im not going into it..

but i will tell u that it involves some of the same things ur going through, i.e. lack of good friends, gf's, school, issues with work, etc..

but it doesnt bother me..

there are other areas in my life that need far more attention than those things, like my family, and possibly more importantly is my own well being, because how u feel on the inside is how u will make others around you feel. if u feel bad, ur gonna make people feel bad, and if u feel good, u are more than likely going to make those around you feel good about themselves. that's why i say that taking care of urself is perhaps one of the most important things u can do, when it is done out of love for others rather than a love for urself..

judging by what u said, this is probably not the best time to be having such thoughts, considering what is going on with ur family and all. they need more positivity thrown their way, even if it's just thinking positive things.. anything will help..

family is very important, more so than friends i'd say, ur friends will probably never care about u as much as ur own flesh and blood.. no matter how much we may hate each other sometimes, there is a deep love that always seems to remain..

good luck with everything man :hippie:


--------------------
https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv


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