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Perceptive
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Registered: 04/21/15
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Re: what I theorize to be PTSD from horrifying trip - HPPD. Help? [Re: Hobozen]
#21989326 - 07/24/15 10:28 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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the shrooms (3.5 of dank ass shrooms)kicked in after just 15 minutes, and my looked at my arm and it looked alienic to me while i was taking a shit, surprised that it kicked in so fast.
I thought, "this doesnt seem like a normal shroom high", and was worried.
I was already in a horrible mind set before the trp..
Basically I couldnt think straight the whole time, paced back and forth for 5 hours straight, I had never been that sore in my life due to walking.
I could barely hold a glass of water. I couldnt sit still(mind i have ADHD) When i tried to lay down, I freaked out
I even thought about calling the ambulance, but decided not to.
then the trip started coming down, my mom came home, and when i saw her face, i was snapped back in reality.
I was already in a HORRIBLE mind set before the trip (in my apartment alone) with irrational beliefs. Nothing cool came out of it .. except the afterglow. During the trip, I "knew" that I would never be the same.
So what happened? a mental breakdown?
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
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Re: what I theorize to be PTSD from horrifying trip - HPPD. Help? [Re: Perceptive]
#21990517 - 07/24/15 02:30 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Sounds like you were on the verge of ego loss... totally normal
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Perceptive
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Re: what I theorize to be PTSD from horrifying trip - HPPD. Help? [Re: Hobozen]
#21991066 - 07/24/15 04:13 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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how was ur experience?
Do u have HPPD and DP?
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
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Re: what I theorize to be PTSD from horrifying trip - HPPD. Help? [Re: Perceptive]
#21991189 - 07/24/15 04:41 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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long story. the hppd became normal after a while. if anything it's entertaining. the depersonalization isn't nearly as bad as it was, but certain situations will trigger it into coming back. sometimes i'll get this deep sense of terror or impending doom, triggered by a bad situation or encounter with someone. before the trauma i had way more filters that blocked this stuff out. but i was also a little cunt, so i like to think it worked out for the best.
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Perceptive
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Re: what I theorize to be PTSD from horrifying trip - HPPD. Help? [Re: Hobozen]
#21991256 - 07/24/15 04:55 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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okay. Thanks for telling me. I am sorry.
well MDMA is the magic bullet for "untreatable" PTSD. Just saying.
good vibes
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
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Re: what I theorize to be PTSD from horrifying trip - HPPD. Help? [Re: Perceptive]
#21991314 - 07/24/15 05:05 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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it's all good man.
MDMA is no magic bullet IME, but it helps. i don't think there could ever be a cure, because the experience is such a big part of me you know. it changed the fabric of "ME", at the deepest levels of my conditioning. it's like trying to erase childhood... not gonna happen. it can fade into the background tho, and maybe one day it'll become so normal that i don't recognize it.
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theRealrollforever
I DID-DENT



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Re: what I theorize to be PTSD from horrifying trip - HPPD. Help? [Re: Hobozen]
#21999397 - 07/26/15 11:01 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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This exact same thing happened to me, people who tell you that you wont get better are wrong, you need to believe you will and as stated before stay centered, socialize, dont do hard drugs, think and use your mind A LOT! Im 'recovered' but as stated before you never really forget the experience so it stays with you
--------------------
sunshine said: The order has to be secret and no one is sure.
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Perceptive
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Re: what I theorize to be PTSD from horrifying trip - HPPD. Help? [Re: theRealrollforever]
#21999671 - 07/26/15 11:58 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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thanks bro, thats what i figured.
A dab yesterday helped me a LOT. i literally felt myself come back into reality. imagine that. and then the second dab was too much lol.
Yeah thanks, I meditate and shit which is the best
Excersize is like the best , my knee is torn but i shoot baskets and work out.
I am mostly recovered now still got a lot to do. Its so great to feel myself in reality.
And im vegan now and green tea helps.
Its getting better everday, some weed helps a lot. moderation. Its really amazing how much better ive gotten in the fast few days, like since posting this.
And when it gets bad, i have klonopin. i just take .5 and i use them like 1-2 times a week.
Im straight, 
How long did ur mental illness go on for? Do u still do entheogens?(spiritual drugs).
Yeah In my opinion, recovered just means healthy.
I am in the process of integrating the whole experience as positive, so its actually a good thing that it stays with me.
It made me into a greater person.
What about u?
Edited by Perceptive (07/26/15 11:59 AM)
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