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Anonymous #1
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Question to men about abortions 1
#21964253 - 07/19/15 10:40 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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If you wanted a baby And your girl got preg but was using a lot of drugs and she chose to abort
would you want her to tell you? or would that cause problems
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Mr.GuessWork
Stranger

Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
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Re: Question to men about abortions [Re: Anonymous #1] 2
#21964267 - 07/19/15 10:43 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I would absolutely want to be told, and I would deeply resent having that information deliberately withheld from me.
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
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Re: Question to men about abortions [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
#21964333 - 07/19/15 10:51 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Oh, here we go again...
Ok, in this scenario (which is hard for me to imagine), if my girl got preggers (unlikely) and she'd want an abortion due to drug abuse (unrealistic), I'd like to know about the pregnancy and obviously be part of the decision to have the abortion. Making babies is a two-person affair and aborting babies should naturally be a two-person affair as well, IMO. The exception obviously is if the woman is not in a relationship or the relationship is dysfunctional to the point that a mature discussion on this is impossible.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Question to men about abortions [Re: koraks]
#21964358 - 07/19/15 10:54 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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thank you. im just afraid he'll try to manipulate me out of going through with it. he told me a week ago im not the only one he's been sleeping with. that put me off and i told him i dont wanna sleep with him anymore. the next day i tested positive. i know he wants a child badly but we've doing doing a LOT of drugs together.
we're not in a relationship. im trying to do the right thing but am feeling like telling him would just make a big mess. i know it's a two person decision, your right about that. im honestly afraid he'd try to manipulate me out of my choice.
i guess i shouldve provided this background first, just tried to keep it simple
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amilibertine
It’s good to be back!



Registered: 06/10/09
Posts: 3,241
Loc: Northern South Midwest
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Re: Question to men about abortions [Re: koraks]
#21964375 - 07/19/15 10:55 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I'd consider leaving the girl if I found out info like this was withheld from me...
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
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Re: Question to men about abortions [Re: Anonymous #1]
#21964405 - 07/19/15 10:58 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I would fully support my ladies want for an abortion if she was using drugs and got preggo. I would just want her to be honest with me, that is all. If we wanted a baby, I would want that baby to have the best a baby can have, and that means both parents not using any substance that would impede their ability to properly raise a child.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Question to men about abortions [Re: Anonymous #1]
#21964454 - 07/19/15 11:07 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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You should abort it and don't tell him. There is no reason he needs to know, it will fuck with both of your emotions unnecessarily to have that discussion with him.
It is none of his business, it's not his body. And it is definitely not the right time or person for you to have kids with.
If you had a relationship and he wasn't sleeping around, things would be different.
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Mr.GuessWork
Stranger

Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
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Re: Question to men about abortions [Re: Anonymous #2]
#21964473 - 07/19/15 11:13 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: You should abort it and don't tell him. There is no reason he needs to know, it will fuck with both of your emotions unnecessarily to have that discussion with him.
It is none of his business, it's not his body. And it is definitely not the right time or person for you to have kids with.
If you had a relationship and he wasn't sleeping around, things would be different.
I agree with this. I misunderstood the initial post. Having your head in the right place to make a good decision should be your number one priority. A good guy would help you do what you think is right. He wouldn't pressure you to do something just because he thought it was right.
Edited by Mr.GuessWork (07/19/15 11:33 AM)
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: Question to men about abortions [Re: Anonymous #2]
#21964518 - 07/19/15 11:23 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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If I wanted to be a father I wouldn't impregnate a junkie fool. She's gone. I also wouldn't have anything to say about her abortion decision because that's the law
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: Question to men about abortions [Re: Anonymous #2]
#21967024 - 07/19/15 08:16 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: You should abort it and don't tell him. There is no reason he needs to know, it will fuck with both of your emotions unnecessarily to have that discussion with him.
It is none of his business, it's not his body. And it is definitely not the right time or person for you to have kids with.
If you had a relationship and he wasn't sleeping around, things would be different.
Totally agree. You two aren't even in a relationship, this guy could easily say "Yeah I want a baby" and then BAIL on you the moment that kid is born. Guess who is going to be left with the primary responsibility of the children? YOU are.
Protect yourself and look out for yourself and yourself only. Don't let yourself be manipulated by some loser guy into making a decision that can fuck your life up for the next 20 years.
Without any type of legal binding, as the father, he can relinquish his responsibility pretty at much any time. The mother is the one that is left with the burden of childcare. YOU are the one that is going to be fucked. Not him.
If I were in your shoes I would have an abortion and wouldn't even say anything. I'd also stop fucking him, at least unprotected anyway.
Edited by Crystal G (07/19/15 08:33 PM)
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empty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Question to men about abortions [Re: Crystal G]
#21968238 - 07/19/15 11:58 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I was in this exact situation with an ex of mine. She aborted the baby but I wouldve supported her with whatever decision she made. Ultimately it was not my decision to make.
If you think he would interfere, then abort the baby first, tell him after. It is your body and your decision. Do what is best for you.
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Edited by empty space (07/20/15 12:00 AM)
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Question to men about abortions [Re: empty space]
#21968450 - 07/20/15 12:48 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Just be careful and make a decision that you are happy with in the end.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: Question to men about abortions [Re: Crystal G]
#21971126 - 07/20/15 02:59 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
Quote:
Anonymous said: You should abort it and don't tell him. There is no reason he needs to know, it will fuck with both of your emotions unnecessarily to have that discussion with him.
It is none of his business, it's not his body. And it is definitely not the right time or person for you to have kids with.
If you had a relationship and he wasn't sleeping around, things would be different.
Totally agree. You two aren't even in a relationship, this guy could easily say "Yeah I want a baby" and then BAIL on you the moment that kid is born. Guess who is going to be left with the primary responsibility of the children? YOU are.
Protect yourself and look out for yourself and yourself only. Don't let yourself be manipulated by some loser guy into making a decision that can fuck your life up for the next 20 years.
Without any type of legal binding, as the father, he can relinquish his responsibility pretty at much any time. The mother is the one that is left with the burden of childcare. YOU are the one that is going to be fucked. Not him.
If I were in your shoes I would have an abortion and wouldn't even say anything. I'd also stop fucking him, at least unprotected anyway.
The father gets a bill and if he doesn't pay 17% of his income (one child only)he gets fucked by the po po. At the least wages garnished and at the worst jail.
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Anonymous #4
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Re: Question to men about abortions [Re: zappaisgod]
#21971876 - 07/20/15 05:43 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I say people should be given the option to be sterilized for free. Death to the human race
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: Question to men about abortions [Re: zappaisgod]
#21973302 - 07/20/15 10:17 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
zappaisgod said:
Quote:
Crystal G said:
Quote:
Anonymous said: You should abort it and don't tell him. There is no reason he needs to know, it will fuck with both of your emotions unnecessarily to have that discussion with him.
It is none of his business, it's not his body. And it is definitely not the right time or person for you to have kids with.
If you had a relationship and he wasn't sleeping around, things would be different.
Totally agree. You two aren't even in a relationship, this guy could easily say "Yeah I want a baby" and then BAIL on you the moment that kid is born. Guess who is going to be left with the primary responsibility of the children? YOU are.
Protect yourself and look out for yourself and yourself only. Don't let yourself be manipulated by some loser guy into making a decision that can fuck your life up for the next 20 years.
Without any type of legal binding, as the father, he can relinquish his responsibility pretty at much any time. The mother is the one that is left with the burden of childcare. YOU are the one that is going to be fucked. Not him.
If I were in your shoes I would have an abortion and wouldn't even say anything. I'd also stop fucking him, at least unprotected anyway.
The father gets a bill and if he doesn't pay 17% of his income (one child only)he gets fucked by the po po. At the least wages garnished and at the worst jail.
Did you read OP's post? She isn't interested in becoming a mother. She doesn't want to take care of a kid. The only reason she's even considering it is cause of this guy who CLAIMS he wants a kid, but will probably bail on her the second she has it.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Question to men about abortions [Re: Crystal G]
#21974376 - 07/21/15 06:29 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Im definitely getting the abort, was just wondering if its "right" to tell him or not. We still hang out but no more sex.
Thanks for the insight everyone.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Question to men about abortions [Re: Anonymous #1]
#21974514 - 07/21/15 06:58 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Im definitely getting the abort, was just wondering if its "right" to tell him or not.
There are no rules about this. You could tell him or you could not, either way is fine.
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CeanGale
Noob


Registered: 02/25/15
Posts: 76
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: Question to men about abortions [Re: Anonymous #2]
#21976268 - 07/21/15 04:07 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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How far along are you? Check with your Dr. to see if the drugs you have been taking will affect the baby and whether abstaining for the pregnancy would make a difference. Then ask yourself if you're ready to quit drugs forever. Don't bullshit yourself. being a mother is serious business and will require everything you have until the child becomes an adult. Are you ready for that?
In an ideal world, this is a two person decision but if you have doubts about whether you can count on the sperm donor, you need to make the decision yourself.
Obviously this was an accident. If you weren't doing drugs would you a. want the baby at all? b. with the sperm donor?
Check with your Dr. to see if the drugs you have been doing can affect the baby. If the pregnancy is new enough there's some time for you to clean up.
Remember whatever you do, you cannot take it back.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: Question to men about abortions [Re: Crystal G]
#21977489 - 07/21/15 08:40 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
Did you read OP's post? She isn't interested in becoming a mother. She doesn't want to take care of a kid. The only reason she's even considering it is cause of this guy who CLAIMS he wants a kid, but will probably bail on her the second she has it.
Yes, I read it. Are you really trying to hinge an argument around the fact that he may be lying about what he wants? The law says he has to pay 17% of his income. That is the standard for one kid.
It is 100% her decision. The father has exactly zero rights
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Question to men about abortions [Re: zappaisgod]
#21977531 - 07/21/15 08:48 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I think its been made pretty clear Im having an abortion, never suggested I was considering keeping it. So not sure how the 17% income child support thing is relevant at all. Or asking me if Im ready to be a mother and quit drugs...
Was asking if I should tell the man about the abortion.
Well I told him and he agrees with me to abort.
Thanks for the input, turns out there really was no right or wrong here.
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