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OfflineQuit The Cult
World is yours

Registered: 11/12/14
Posts: 265
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
Cant smoke anymore. Any good legal cannabinoids?
    #21952822 - 07/16/15 04:54 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Sup guys.

Tl;dr how can i pass probation drug tests while still smoking?

Firstly, i expect a bunch of "quit smoking" posts, and thats fine. But im not looking for that here.

I just got put on probation for 18 months with a random UA every month. Bunch of bullshit. Ive never been in trouble before. And ive been a daily pot smoker for over ten years.

Is there anyway to pass these tests while still smoking? I was looking into the whizzinator but that seems pretty sketchy.

I also read a lot of people swearing by Certp to pass probation tests.. Can anyone verify if thats bullshit or true? Wouldnt that come up diluted?

Please if anyone has any advice for a stoner on probation.. Im all ears.

First test is in about 13 days. Unsure if i will be watched while i pee. Im going to assume they will be watching.


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Ill always have typos. Using a shitty phone to write on here.


Edited by Quit The Cult (07/16/15 09:39 PM)


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OfflineHerbologist
Grrratata
I'm a teapot


Registered: 05/09/10
Posts: 7,471
Loc: Casa Bonita Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Re: Probation. Drug test advice. Certo? [Re: Quit The Cult]
    #21952845 - 07/16/15 05:00 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I have had many friends think they can somehow beat their UA test once on probation.


They all failed.


Quit smoking.


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Shroomery Law:  Don't piss off the leftist mods & their friends! :banhamster:


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OfflineRescueShroom
Dildont

Registered: 06/09/15
Posts: 56
Loc: Bat Country
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
Re: Probation. Drug test advice. Certo? [Re: Herbologist]
    #21952901 - 07/16/15 05:15 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

whats more important to you pot or anal penetration and lack of freedom..

there is a reason law enforcement does these drug tests. They know all the ways people "think" they can cheat it, its like people think they can fake out a breathalyzer or polygraph. The only real way to pass it is to use clean urine and if you go in there and they watch you, they have been trained to know what to look for.

Reevaluate your priorities because if you don't stop for 18 months you will most likely be forced to stop for years.


Edited by RescueShroom (07/16/15 05:16 PM)


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
Stranger
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Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
Re: Probation. Drug test advice. Certo? [Re: Quit The Cult]
    #21952910 - 07/16/15 05:16 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Quit The Cult said:
First, I expect a bunch of "quit smoking" posts, and that's fine. But I'm not looking for that here.





You can always find a way to smoke in jail. Why do you think it's worth risking jail and throwing away lots of career options so you don't have to take an 18 month break? If you don't have a GREAT answer to that question, then you should at least quit being an idiot. You already got busted once. Why would you want to start a pattern.


Also, I hope you stopped smoking about a week ago. Otherwise you're probably fucked, and you won't need to find a way to pass anymore drug tests.


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OfflineQuit The Cult
World is yours

Registered: 11/12/14
Posts: 265
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
Re: Probation. Drug test advice. Certo? [Re: RescueShroom]
    #21952921 - 07/16/15 05:19 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I am just a desperate stoner.

Im gonna smoke the weekend away and stop monday if i have to.. It will be easier to stop on the weekday because i work full time. Ten days would be enough time to pass yeah? Im 120 pounds and 5'9".

Thinking of getting an e cig with 0% nicotine to give me something to smoke on instead.... Thoughts?

Too bad the days of good k2 are gone.. I used to enjoy the Mr. Nice Guy blends when i didnt have bud.


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Ill always have typos. Using a shitty phone to write on here.


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OfflineHerbologist
Grrratata
I'm a teapot


Registered: 05/09/10
Posts: 7,471
Loc: Casa Bonita Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Re: Probation. Drug test advice. Certo? [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
    #21952925 - 07/16/15 05:20 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Mr.GuessWork said:
Quote:

Quit The Cult said:
First, I expect a bunch of "quit smoking" posts, and that's fine. But I'm not looking for that here.





Also, I hope you stopped smoking about a week ago. Otherwise you're probably fucked, and you won't need to find a way to pass anymore drug tests.





Pretty much.

It took me a full 3-4 weeks to get clean when I tried.


--------------------
Shroomery Law:  Don't piss off the leftist mods & their friends! :banhamster:


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OfflineQuit The Cult
World is yours

Registered: 11/12/14
Posts: 265
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
Re: Probation. Drug test advice. Certo? [Re: Herbologist]
    #21952929 - 07/16/15 05:21 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

My friend who is about my size was clean in 8 days for his test...  Courts know i smoked 4 days ago and i have the test in 2 weeks. So i think if i fail the first one it wont be the worst thing. But failing any after that would be terrible.


--------------------
Ill always have typos. Using a shitty phone to write on here.


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OfflineHerbologist
Grrratata
I'm a teapot


Registered: 05/09/10
Posts: 7,471
Loc: Casa Bonita Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Re: Probation. Drug test advice. Certo? [Re: Quit The Cult]
    #21952931 - 07/16/15 05:21 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Quit The Cult said:
I am just a desperate stoner.

Im gonna smoke the weekend away and stop monday if i have to.. It will be easier to stop on the weekday because i work full time. Ten days would be enough time to pass yeah? Im 120 pounds and 5'9".

Thinking of getting an e cig with 0% nicotine to give me something to smoke on instead.... Thoughts?

Too bad the days of good k2 are gone.. I used to enjoy the Mr. Nice Guy blends when i didnt have bud.





10 days is cutting it so close.  Smoke the weekend away?

So you're going to give yourself a nice dose of THC all weekend.  You're gonna make it even HARDER to pass.


You're gonna wanna shoot yourself when you fail that test and realize you could of possibly passed.


--------------------
Shroomery Law:  Don't piss off the leftist mods & their friends! :banhamster:


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OfflineHerbologist
Grrratata
I'm a teapot


Registered: 05/09/10
Posts: 7,471
Loc: Casa Bonita Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Re: Probation. Drug test advice. Certo? [Re: Quit The Cult]
    #21952933 - 07/16/15 05:21 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Quit The Cult said:
My friend who is about my size was clean in 8 days for his test...





Everyone is different.


--------------------
Shroomery Law:  Don't piss off the leftist mods & their friends! :banhamster:


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
Stranger
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Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
Re: Probation. Drug test advice. Certo? [Re: Quit The Cult]
    #21952940 - 07/16/15 05:22 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quit right now, man. You should find a way to schedule it later if it's at all possible. If you smoke daily it can take a longer than you've already got to test clean.

https://www.erowid.org/plants/cannabis/cannabis_testing.shtml


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
Stranger
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Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
Re: Probation. Drug test advice. Certo? [Re: Herbologist]
    #21952949 - 07/16/15 05:24 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Herbologist said:
Quote:

Quit The Cult said:
My friend who is about my size was clean in 8 days for his test...





Everyone is different.




This, and it depends on how frequently you smoke. You will not have fun in jail.


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InvisibleWyoMX
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 07/06/15
Posts: 2,101
Loc: PNW
Re: Probation. Drug test advice. Certo? [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
    #21952972 - 07/16/15 05:30 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

In my experience there is no way. I tried a few supplements and failed those tests. In my city a whizzanator definitely wouldn't work because I had to drop my pants and underwear to my knees and could pull them up before peeing in the cup. I know it's not what your looking for but really just quit


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OfflineQuit The Cult
World is yours

Registered: 11/12/14
Posts: 265
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
Re: Probation. Drug test advice. Certo? [Re: WyoMX]
    #21952976 - 07/16/15 05:31 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

WyoMX said:
In my experience there is no way. I tried a few supplements and failed those tests. In my city a whizzanator definitely wouldn't work because I had to drop my pants and underwear to my knees and could pull them up before peeing in the cup. I know it's not what your looking for but really just quit



Best post yet. Thanks for the advice.


--------------------
Ill always have typos. Using a shitty phone to write on here.


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OfflineHerbologist
Grrratata
I'm a teapot


Registered: 05/09/10
Posts: 7,471
Loc: Casa Bonita Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Re: Probation. Drug test advice. Certo? [Re: Quit The Cult] * 1
    #21952978 - 07/16/15 05:32 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

He said what we already said.


Nothing works.  Quit smoking.


--------------------
Shroomery Law:  Don't piss off the leftist mods & their friends! :banhamster:


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InvisibleSteveRogers
gandy dancer
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/24/06
Posts: 3,450
Re: Probation. Drug test advice. Certo? [Re: Quit The Cult] * 1
    #21952986 - 07/16/15 05:33 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Quit The Cult said:
My friend who is about my size was clean in 8 days for his test...  Courts know i smoked 4 days ago and i have the test in 2 weeks. So i think if i fail the first one it wont be the worst thing. But failing any after that would be terrible.




Have you ever been to jail?

They WILL supervise your piss test. If you use the prosthetic penis you will catch an additional charge as defrauding that test is a felony. ]
Secondly, I have had a NUMBER of friends use every detox method in the book. From Niacin to chugging Crannberry juice, to Detox drinks, ect. Guess what? They are in jail for violating their probation.

What is actually more important than going to jail is having a felony on your record. I do not know what charge you are facing, but if part of your plea bargain was to pass drug tests and do probation successfully...you are going to SERIOUSLY regret smoking if you ever want to vote again or own a firearm.

I probably smoke as much or more than you so I understand what quitting means. I have also been to jail as much or more than you and know what that means as well. STOP SMOKING.


--------------------
"General, I am loyal to nothing......except The Dream"


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InvisibleWyoMX
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 07/06/15
Posts: 2,101
Loc: PNW
Re: Probation. Drug test advice. Certo? [Re: Quit The Cult]
    #21952987 - 07/16/15 05:34 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

No problem man. Also definitely keep blazing until you have your first meeting or whatever. When it's positive they send in and get the levels and as long as they consistently go down your fine.


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
Stranger
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Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
Re: Probation. Drug test advice. Certo? [Re: Herbologist]
    #21953027 - 07/16/15 05:48 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Herbologist said:
He said what we already said.


Nothing works.  Quit smoking.




I'm butthurt about it too.


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
Stranger
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Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
Re: Probation. Drug test advice. Certo? [Re: WyoMX]
    #21953043 - 07/16/15 05:52 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

WyoMX said:
No problem man. Also definitely keep blazing until you have your first meeting or whatever. When it's positive they send in and get the levels and as long as they consistently go down your fine.




OP, you should look up he local laws and stuff on this. It can differ by state.


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OfflineQuit The Cult
World is yours

Registered: 11/12/14
Posts: 265
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
Re: Probation. Drug test advice. Certo? [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
    #21953949 - 07/16/15 09:41 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Are there any good legal cannabinoids worth ordering right now? I used to enjoy those Mr. Nice Guy blends back in the day.

Any good highs that dont show up on drug tests. Throw me a list. Ha.


--------------------
Ill always have typos. Using a shitty phone to write on here.


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InvisibleSteveRogers
gandy dancer
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/24/06
Posts: 3,450
Re: Probation. Drug test advice. Certo? [Re: Quit The Cult]
    #21954018 - 07/16/15 09:54 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Well you happened to have stumbled upon a website which harbors bast amounts of information about everything from ethnobotanicals to all manner of mushrooms. Maybe do some reading? The info is out there.


--------------------
"General, I am loyal to nothing......except The Dream"


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