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Invisible404
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Lindsey lohan hires PMC after Chapo offers $5m in cocaine to anyone that can find him
    #21952280 - 07/16/15 02:36 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

This is not the onion

http://www.africametro.com/world-news/drug-kingpin-el-chapo-guzman-offers-5-million-in-cocaine-to-anyone-who-can-find-and-capture-him

Quote:

Mere days after his escape from the Federal Social Readaption Center No. 1, a Mexican maximum security prison, the notorious drug kingpin known as ‘El Chapo’ Guzman appeared in a video posted online in which he mocked U.S. and Mexican authorities by offering a startling reward for his own capture: Five million dollars worth of uncut Colombian cocaine.

“To anyone listening,” Guzman said, “if you can find me and capture me, we will deliver to you one hundred and forty kilos of the purest China White in Mexico.” The one minute and thirty-seven second video, which authorities believe was shot using a cellphone, appears to be taken in a small, dimly lit room.

“Judging by the walls, you’re seeing a lot of what appears to be grime, or even mud. This was most likely filmed in an underground bunker,” former DEA Special Agent Edwardo Fuentez told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer on The Situation Room. Fuentez said the bunker could be located in some of the more remote areas of Mexico’s Sierra Madre mountain range. “These individuals are like rodents, they prefer to hide in the shadows,” Fuentez said.

According to Blitzer, who spoke with Mexican authorities early yesterday, the Mexican government has not publicly stated whether or not they have any information pertaining to Guzman’s whereabouts. “In situations like this one, it’s always possible they know more than they’re letting on,” Blitzer said before glancing of camera and adding, “I personally know of several people who would benefit substantially from this.”


Lindsay Lohan former drug addict wants to help in the fight against drugs by capturing El Chapo

Actress Lindsey Lohan might be one of them. The twenty-nine year-old told The Hollywood Reporter today that she out-bid Jarret Stoll of the Los Angeles Kings Tuesday morning and has hired Academi, the private military contractor formerly known as Blackwater, to locate and capture Guzman. “I just want to do the right thing and get these drugs off the street,” Lohan said.

Head of the ruthless Sinaloa Cartel, Guzman was serving a twenty-year and nine month sentence for a slew of charges including murder, drug trafficking, and money laundering. He was arrested in 1993 in Guatemala before being extradited to Mexico where he was placed in federal prison. Following his first escape in 2001, he was recaptured by Mexican authorities on February 22, 2014. On July 11, 2015 he escaped again, this time by way of an underground tunnel. Guzman is considered to be armed and extremely dangerous.




More like Lindsey LOLhan amirite?

She totally wants some of that sweet sweet columbian blow and doesnt really care if it's "off the streets"

She's an ex addict, there's no way she actually supports drugs or chapo being of the street, and i dont mean that in a stigmatized "druggies need their fix" sorta way or whatever

Thoughts?


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: Lindsey lohan hires PMC after Chapo offers $5m in cocaine to anyone that can find him [Re: 404] * 1
    #21952334 - 07/16/15 02:55 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Pretty sure China White is the hey-ron..


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OnlineCHeifM4sterDiezL
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Re: Lindsey lohan hires PMC after Chapo offers $5m in cocaine to anyone that can find him [Re: Amanita86]
    #21952347 - 07/16/15 02:59 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Yeh plus she could jus buy a ton of blow anyway. Whats she gonna do wit 40 keys? She aint findn shit anyway. What a stupid attention whore.


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Invisible404
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Re: Lindsey lohan hires PMC after Chapo offers $5m in cocaine to anyone that can find him [Re: CHeifM4sterDiezL]
    #21952362 - 07/16/15 03:02 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

It occurred to me that this might actually be satire even though it's not from The Onion


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OnlineCHeifM4sterDiezL
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Re: Lindsey lohan hires PMC after Chapo offers $5m in cocaine to anyone that can find him [Re: 404]
    #21952369 - 07/16/15 03:04 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Yeh none of that added up


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OfflineGorlax
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Re: Lindsey lohan hires PMC after Chapo offers $5m in cocaine to anyone that can find him [Re: CHeifM4sterDiezL]
    #21952382 - 07/16/15 03:06 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

this is fucking stupid...


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Invisible404
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Re: Lindsey lohan hires PMC after Chapo offers $5m in cocaine to anyone that can find him [Re: Gorlax]
    #21952396 - 07/16/15 03:09 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

It's pretty funny if it's satire


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Lindsey lohan hires PMC after Chapo offers $5m in cocaine to anyone that can find him [Re: 404] * 1
    #21952437 - 07/16/15 03:17 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

5 mil of pure coca-heroin is worth like 20 mil on the streets right?

I could use 20 million of this new China White cocaine stuff


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InvisiblezZZz
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Re: Lindsey lohan hires PMC after Chapo offers $5m in cocaine to anyone that can find him [Re: Patlal] * 1
    #21952455 - 07/16/15 03:21 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

i found him, he's in the sierra mountains

now give me my china white :waits:


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