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Registered: 03/31/01
Posts: 1,880
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    #2194755 - 12/22/03 01:05 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)


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Registered: 12/20/03
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Re: loss [Re: ekomstop]
    #2194771 - 12/22/03 01:16 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)

my buddy ekomstop created this thread for me because im having problems posting, so for any of you wondering why he left the post blank, it was as a favor to me. if any of you are un-interedted in reading a very long post with an unhappy ending, tuen back now... although i know ive aroused your morbid curiosity now, hehehe.

for almost a year, i loved someone more deeply than ive ever loved anyone in my life, and now, she is gone. i am wondering why. there were no clues, no warnings, no signs she was feeling this way. when you love someone, you take time to consider their feelings, thoughts and opinions about certain things. i have done this for 11 months, i have given almost everything that was asked of me, i was unselfish and devoted. i slipped one time, about 4 or 5 months ago, and i admit, i thought it was over then. this woman, this incredible woman stayed with me, nursed me through a broken ankle, and stayed by my side when it looked like we had no place to live, and no means to get a place. what i am wondering now is, when you love someone, can you quit right away? can you look someone in the eyes and say "i hate you!" or, "fuck you!" if you have cared for someone so long? i used to think that was impossible. now i am no longer so sure....

in the long run, the important thing is that i have learned many lessons from this... and now i am wondering other things too.
what drives someone to love, and to grieve for those we have loved and lost? is it truly better to love and have lost than to have never loved at all? the answers to these questions will not come easily for me, nor i think, would they for anyone. now i am asking all you shroomerites who are deeply into the music... have you ever tried to deal with the loss of the light in your life by turning to music? music has tremendous healing powers, along with the power to destroy... but i have never used it to heal. do you think it could work? could the music heal my aching soul? and will i ever be sane again?

i would love to hear your opinions... please give me some feedback

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Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,851
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 9 months, 11 days
Re: loss [Re: skoomaguitarist]
    #2194919 - 12/22/03 03:00 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)

A lot of musicians use music and lyrics to try to get feelings out into the open, as a sort of release... I guess they feel a lot better after doing it.

Check out some Staind, man, it is all that guy does. :grin:

From writing and idea on guitar to writing some lyrics to just listening to some meaningful songs, music definitely can help you through things.. one thing to remember is that the Sun is going to come up the next day, and we can almost always bank on this...

If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:

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OfflineChills420 version2
Poo Pie Maker

Registered: 01/26/03
Posts: 471
Last seen: 14 years, 4 months
Re: loss [Re: skoomaguitarist]
    #2194983 - 12/22/03 03:58 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)

About 6 years ago I dated a girl I loved very much.
(didn't know how much untill I messed up being really stupid)

I lost her forever......... I was very sad for along time prob around a year or so....

Then oneday I was sitting at home and look out and here comes the girl. We sat and talked and came close to getting back together.

Two days later I met another girl so I had to deside what to do.
The trust wasn't there with the first girl due to me doing dumb stuff.

As I pondered on this I thought I never want to go thru the sadness I went thru and was at that time just getting over.

I desided that it was for the best we didn't go any farther into fixing a broken relationship.

Now lets jump forward about 5 years
I to this day am still with the second girl.
We just purchased some land and a home together.
We have more now than I would have ever expected to have with the other girl.

Things happen for a reason IMHO
Your higher power...... God, Jesus Christ,Fate
Whatever it may be has plans for you you may just not beable to see.
Hold you head high and keep a eye out no telling what life has in store for you.

Being sad because you lost something is normal it will hurt it always does.

The sun will shine again it might be alittle while b4 you see the rays of light but they will come.

**your story sounds alot like mine****
You never want to stop loving it will make you cold.
I was told by the girl she hated me.
Comes to find out she doesn't hate me it was my actions she hated.
When you love someone I don't think it's possable to ever stop loving them. To this day I still love the girl and care alot about her.

I just don't love her in the same way.
Trying to stop loving will make it that much harder. Look at it as this if you truly love you want that person to be happy......

Even if it hurts you so bad you want to die.....Thats love


You may say Im a dreamer,
but Im not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.

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e l e m e n t al i t y
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Registered: 01/14/02
Posts: 3,323
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Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
Re: loss [Re: skoomaguitarist]
    #2195045 - 12/22/03 05:17 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Welcome brother.  Great post.
Music is my truest companion.  I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, and music has helped us grow together, and when some serious shit happened (Because of her), music helped me survive.  I formed a band a little before that, and going to practice was my biggest release, my session of happiness that helped cure the hurt, and distract my mind for a little bit.  But, if you are not the musician and just a listener, It can help in unfathomable ways.  You're right, Music in any way could help heal, or just destroy.  You can make choices of music that act as a soulful companion through lonely times, or you can use music to help you dig deeper into dispair. 
You will be sane again. Music  can help you heal, but it can't do it for you.  You also have to make the right choices: Death Metal might make you aggressive and hateful, or it could be therepeudic and a good vent...
Your ears can really shape music into anything you want.  Most any song made could be about YOU.  They're not, but you can make em, you can relate.  This is how it can heal. 

As for 

  when you love someone, can you quit right away? can you look someone in the eyes and say "i hate you!" or, "fuck you!" if you have cared for someone so long? i used to think that was impossible. now i am no longer so sure....

, unfortunately, I have been in your shoes.  I didn't know it was possible either, but I've come so close to it.  I didn't know whether to take the knife she used to stab me in the back and stick her, or take it out and help it heal.  Love hurts, and sticks you good sometimes.  I never had understood it before, but there  is a thin line between love and hate.
And music can act as a catalyst in either direction. You'll be sane again, just put on a record and take a binger  :bong:

Blas'?trid (bl?s tr?d)
    n.  3rd generation derivitave of a combination of 'bastard' and 'blasted'.  Used as both an insult or an expletive.
    ex.  Blastrid!

Stereopattern  <--My music.

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Posts: 1,880
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Re: loss [Re: skoomaguitarist]
    #2195624 - 12/22/03 02:15 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Nice replies by all.. :smile:

Having gone through a similar experience about a half a year ago, I think I definetly have atleast an idea of what you must be going through..

I must say, if I didn't own an instrument during those moments, I don't know what I would have kept myself occupied with.  I found keeping myself busy would help steer my mind away from those thoughts that haunted my mind constantly.  Working out, something physical, is definetly helpful. 

As for music..  Music is like magic.. I think Blastrid hit the nail on the head, with "music can act as a catalyst in either direction"  I mean..It really depends on the music.  Aggressive music/slower music/whatever kind of music..  But more importantly..your music..or someone elses music? 

I found during times of stress when the emotions are overflowing that creating music seemed alot more natural to me.  Whether it be agressive, soft or whatever, be sure you hit that record button.  The creation of music stemming from what seems to be negative emotions, to me, seems almost like an example of using a negative, to create a postive.  In a sence, anyway.  If that makes sence..  hehe

All I can really think of to say now to answer your question is, yes, I believe you will feel better again..Time really does seem to heal wounds, in most cases.  But of course nothing happens overnight.  Trying to maintain some patience and positive thinking, no matter how shitty things seem to get, would be my advice.  I know first hand this is no easy task, but it is not impossible.  You're mind is your own, and it is your decision to either take control of it, or continue to allow it to shit on you all day. 

Keep playing your guitar, and try to keep yourself occupied.. When you find your mind caught in that uncomfortable bubble of thoughts and questions about a lost one, try to take hold of another bubble.  Letting go isnt always easy, but in some cases, it is nessesary to accept, and live on.

Take it easy, brother.

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Registered: 02/18/02
Posts: 915
Loc: Chicago, Illinois U.S.A.
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Re: loss [Re: skoomaguitarist]
    #2199007 - 12/24/03 03:10 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Yeah, you know, just be. Things work out in the end. Life is brief. It will all be over before you know it man. Grieve for a while though. It's the blessing of life really --that you are ALIVE and feeling that tremendous emotion now. Enjoy it man. You will on your deathbed eventually, but really take it to heart now and realize all the lessons in it now. It will make you stronger if you think of the long run now and just be cool with what happened. DO NOT freak out and keep worrying about it. Keep listening and talking to people and connect with their dilemmas --we all have them and they are all interconnected with eachother. Focus on what interests you in life. It's all about you right now. Move on. Now is the most important moment. You only go through it once. Remember that. You will have opportunities in the future. Life is really amazing.

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