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LackToast
Stranger
Registered: 08/28/10
Posts: 217
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Any advice for a love shy male?
#21947175 - 07/15/15 12:39 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Hello, Im reading a book about love shyness in males and i realized it describes my wierd ticks and personalites very well.
It describes my level of introvertedness, apathy and even wierd ticks like not being able to walk on cracks in the sidewalk. It shows the relationship one has with their parents, which i shared a fair amount of problems with the other men interviewed.
So anyways heres the situation, im a loner. I dont have friends to help drag me out of this life long funk of depression and boredom. And although i realize its up to me, how far can i go without deluding myself in trying to continuously fix the same mental problems that keep resurfacing.
Ive tried online dating but i get no responses, clearly then ive got nothing worth seeking out. So then i go out, and i always get a few looks, but then i think, ok if i were to somehow show them what kind of guy i am anyways they wouldnt want me anymore, so whats the point. either that or their too young and thered be no point of talking to them anyways.
So then i think ok, maybe wait a while, make lots of money, and get really muscular and all that other shit people tell you makes you more attractive, and find hobbies for the sake of being not boring, talk about dumb shit with people just to form a social circle and make it seem like my lifes in order. But isnt that the same shit as a kid i never wanted... to be a another human in this phoney rat race just for a slice of cheese? isnt that the fucking illusion, money, power, women? but if i dont play at all im going to be a goddamn sexless monk?
Does this even make sense? im sorry if it doesnt it did to me.
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OsculateOfDemise



Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 2,879
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Re: Any advice for a love shy male? [Re: LackToast] 1
#21947215 - 07/15/15 12:47 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Sometimes it's easier to relate to and strike up conversations and potentially dates with someone who has similar interests. Do you have any hobbies or even activities you would like to get into? Join a club, take a class. Then you have your ice breaker and then it's easier to make friends/find a partner.
As far as "getting muscular and money" goes, that's all superficial and expect only those type of empty people to be drawn to that sort of image. In the end, it all relates to your own happiness. People don't want to be around the depressed "woe is me" type, so just do whatever makes you happy and people will respond to that.
Edited by OsculateOfDemise (07/15/15 12:51 PM)
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Get muscular OP. It's the only way to a bitches heart
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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LackToast
Stranger
Registered: 08/28/10
Posts: 217
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lol thanks guys, tht only slightly helps go out find hobbies and get buff. but i still cant talk to women.
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
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Re: Any advice for a love shy male? [Re: LackToast]
#21950225 - 07/16/15 01:23 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Do away with the whole "I don't have much to offer and I can't approach women" vibe dude. It's incorrect and extremely counter productive. The rest will follow.
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Any advice for a love shy male? [Re: koraks]
#21950253 - 07/16/15 01:33 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Getting buff improves everything in life dude haven't you figured that out yet. In all honesty be you man, ask a girl out and if she doesn't love you for who you are then move on. There's no point in getting all this money and trying to change a bunch of shit because at the end of the day you can't put up a front for the rest of your life just to attract someone that likes the fake things in you.
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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Dawks
Jolly African Potato


Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 4,935
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Quote:
OsculateOfDemise said: Sometimes it's easier to relate to and strike up conversations and potentially dates with someone who has similar interests. Do you have any hobbies or even activities you would like to get into? Join a club, take a class. Then you have your ice breaker and then it's easier to make friends/find a partner.
As far as "getting muscular and money" goes, that's all superficial and expect only those type of empty people to be drawn to that sort of image. In the end, it all relates to your own happiness. People don't want to be around the depressed "woe is me" type, so just do whatever makes you happy and people will respond to that.
Everything I wanted to say to you OP is captured by OsculateOfDemise's post.
I don't know your hobbies/interests but I can already see that you're on a psychedelic drug forum. Why not seek out a lady who's into psychedelics/mushrooms?? I'm sure you'll have plenty of common ground. From tripping together and going to festivals to setting up a new grow room or hunting mushrooms together.
For instance I think a "come hunt mushrooms with me tomorrow morning!" is a helluva lot better place for a relationship to start than a boring and awkward "wanna get coffee"
But if not psychedelics I'm sure you have other hobbies/interests.
Quote:
As far as "getting muscular and money" goes, that's all superficial and expect only those type of empty people to be drawn to that sort of image.
Indeed. Like I said in that post about "dad bods:" every minute you spend lifting up heavy things and putting them down again you could invest developing life skills such as playing music, creating art or learning a new language. These things make you interesting and equip you with talents that'll benefit you for life. Spending your entire life in the gym just tells people that you've got nothing better to do with your time.
There's nothing wrong with earning money, but be careful of where you flaunt it. You'll only attract greedy people who want to use you as a stepping stone to their own ends. Is that really what you want?
Quote:
People don't want to be around the depressed "woe is me" type, so just do whatever makes you happy and people will respond to that.
Another truth.
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date ; unzip ; strip ; touch ; grep ; finger ; mount ; fsck ; more ; yes ; umount ; sleep
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empty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Any advice for a love shy male? [Re: Dawks]
#21960176 - 07/18/15 11:41 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Dawks said: There's nothing wrong with earning money, but be careful of where you flaunt it. You'll only attract greedy people who want to use you as a stepping stone to their own ends. Is that really what you want?
So true. Money is way sexier when you don't flaunt it and instead are always stoked because you know deep inside that you are comfortable and secure.
Also if you flaunt your money, someone is eventually going to take it from you. I'm a hustler and when I see someone flaunting their money, I find out how to make them give it to me. People who flaunt their money tend to be insecure in some way and are one simple interaction away from spending it all on some stupid shit that they think will make them feel better about themselves.
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