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OfflineDeathcore
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Acid and Shrooms fucked me up
    #21933212 - 07/12/15 12:06 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Its like a filter has been put over my brain and my processes are plastic like... Everything I look at doesnt glow as much as it once did, everything internally seems weird.. Like If i simply had proof I even exist and that others existed id be fine. I often feel like im just talking to myself and this is all an illusion...

Im also thinking maybe my brain chemistry is changing just for getting older.. ill be 25 this month.. things in general feel different.. a quarter or more of my life is gone and ive gained nothing. just a medal from a marathon i did... but its not good enough.. money isnt something i want to pursue... people are phony...


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OfflineRR42013
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21933244 - 07/12/15 12:11 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I've ate a lot of acid and mushrooms over my life and I'm fine. I'm pushing 30 and life is swell me and my woman are about to buy a house. I just tripped face last week


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Offlinesarahnya
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: RR42013]
    #21933266 - 07/12/15 12:17 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I think life is about experiences and you've got a whole lot of time let.  Maybe take a break from the Phychs and try some new things just for the hell of it :smile: (not drugs lol).


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OfflineDeathcore
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: sarahnya]
    #21933279 - 07/12/15 12:20 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

been weed and psych free for a few months

i still feel like i opened doors that cant be closed

without money u cant do shit but i hate money


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Offlinetwelvelookslikeu
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore] * 1
    #21933389 - 07/12/15 12:44 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Depression


--------------------


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Invisibledrr
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21933425 - 07/12/15 12:54 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Deathcore said:
Its like a filter has been put over my brain and my processes are plastic like... Everything I look at doesnt glow as much as it once did, everything internally seems weird.. Like If i simply had proof I even exist and that others existed id be fine. I often feel like im just talking to myself and this is all an illusion...

Im also thinking maybe my brain chemistry is changing just for getting older.. ill be 25 this month.. things in general feel different.. a quarter or more of my life is gone and ive gained nothing. just a medal from a marathon i did... but its not good enough.. money isnt something i want to pursue... people are phony...



Careful

You're 25

Mental illness usually surfaces around this point in a person's life

Stop using psychedelics for at least a year or two, for real. Get back in touch with reality.


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OfflineSvyx
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21933449 - 07/12/15 01:01 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

If it's any consolation, my brother, also 25 and diagnosed with manic depression, felt the same way the past few days. He was almost convinced he was dead and almost wasn't convinced any of this [life] was real. I'm 24 myself but haven't experienced this. I've been on countless mushroom, LSA, and DMT (oral and smoked) journeys within the past 8 months when psychedelics were first introduced to me, mushrooms being the first plant teacher in which I encountered. He had a few encounters with psychedelics himself over the past half year, but recently dove in a little more and quicker than usual.

When we're born, our perception of reality is heavily molded by society, family, friends, etc., and then it inevitably changes as we go through life. I feel psychedelics most definitely "catalyze" the change in said perception, more so to what YOU feel is best for YOURSELF, and maybe those realizations go against everything you've been learning for 25 years. They dissolve barriers, boundaries, constructs, man-made things. Maybe you start to realize everything man-made is what you really don't want, and if that's what you have been working for for nearly 25 years, it may leave you feeling like you have to "start over" (Basically relearning what makes you happy, how people act, what's important in life, etc.).

I don't know. Just a guessing whim here. My brother and I had a pleasant trip a couple of days ago (3g Syrian rue and 1.7g mush), but then yesterday he began feeling this way. We talked everything out, and he is starting to accept that change (altered perception of everything he knew) for the better.

I honestly hope you find your path again and find the excitement and fulfillment of life and nature!


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OfflinepsilocybinjunkieM
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Svyx] * 1
    #21933710 - 07/12/15 02:22 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

You sound depressed about your low income and lack of goals in life. Try putting your energy into helping others instead of feeling sorry for yourself after taking acid and shrooms. Stop getting high and start doing something with your life and for others and you'll feel better. Sitting here casting blame on a few trips for your sense of self pity isn't really legit. You are 24 go out there and do better things with your time instead of saying poor me and giving yourself perpetual mindfuck. I am quite a bit older than you and have tripped hundreds of times, possibly more than that and I don't cast blame on my trips for my personal problems or life.


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OfflineDeathcore
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: psilocybinjunkie]
    #21933809 - 07/12/15 02:51 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

thanks guys..

im not upset about my lack of income. im upset that money is what makes the world go round. people's personalities are stemmed upon there love for money..

i remember this episode of full house where michelle (olson twins) were upset there familys rich friends daughter wouldnt let her play her game gear (hand held sega console from the early 90s) lmao... honestly, that console is worth $3 or less here in 2015 but that's not the point.

people only care about gadgets, materialism, status, fame, etc.. NOT personality... personality to them is how much money and things you have.. period..

women only care about money, they trade wallets all the time via cheating and what not. everybody is a user and an abuser in one way shape or form and in many cases..more than one way shape or form.

I didnt really think about that during my teenage years but once i hit 20 things started to click...

kids are acting like bigger spoiled brats since the kids of my generation... there is much more tyranny and corruption.. in this world everything is ass backwards.. up is down, down is up, bad is good, good is bad, real is fake, and fake is real... makeup and implants would be an example...

fat people getting fatter, dumb people getting dumber, sluts being sluttier, because men get bored easier now a days so women have to do more to get paid...

life is a joke but thats why i feel crazy because this reality IS here and its a joke..

its not even just my perspective, its the way it IS..

the 1% elite control the 99% and of you dont agree well the mind control has taken you over to far and there is no going back..

society has nothing to offer me.. i can read between the lines... Everything is dull.. i wont be happy until the tyranny and corruption stops..and thatll never happen... so i wont he happy till im dead... so i can escape all of this... this freaking joke people worship... the almight dollar...


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Offlinesarahnya
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21935487 - 07/12/15 10:47 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I think this is just an after effect of "waking up".  It may have nothing to do with the phychs, it's probably more to do with you maturing and seeing how the world sadly works.

Try to focus on the positive things there are in life (not everyone is that bad, there are a lot of sheep but try to give them a nudge in the right durection) and compartmentalise the bad thoughts or feelings.

Sure you need money to live but it doesn't have to be a domineering factor in your life.

I totally understand where you are coming from. Personally I went through something similar before I'd even encountered phychs.  You just have to find your feet again and learn that it's sink or swim in this current age. Sure it's good to care about these things but find a balance and don't allow them to drag you down.


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Invisiblelfds2pid
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: sarahnya]
    #21935577 - 07/12/15 11:25 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

sarahnya is right... this sounds like a side-effect of rapid maturation.  I have seen this happen when a person "sees a lot of shit in a short amount of time."

It's a new thing, people are having their mid-life crises younger and younger.  After trauma, like a life-threatening situation or loss of a person with whom one was emotionally involved, people frequently experience a sense of unreality or a disconnect from the senses.  Some people say marijuana helps with that (what doesn't it help with?)

If you want to read something that might... advance your perspective...
Why do you need proof that you or anything else is real?


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Invisiblelfds2pid
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21935603 - 07/12/15 11:35 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Deathcore said:
...a quarter or more of my life is gone and ive gained nothing. just a medal from a marathon i did... but its not good enough.. money isnt something i want to pursue... people are phony...




Reading this, I think you want to learn.
Maybe you can learn a skill that you can make some money with.  Obviously, you need money to live in society, unless you inherited a farm with the tax paid up for your lifetime or something, and you seem to be dissatisfied with your current level of accomplishment.
You mention the medal from the marathon as something that you have gained, but you say "just a medal" like running a marathon is not an amazing accomplishment, so that makes me thing you're expressing your wish for more evidence of accomplishment, but maybe you would find mental accomplishment more satisfying.

Do you like art?  I infer from your writing that you would enjoy bringing awe to those around you with some kind of art.

Good luck!


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OfflineLiquidVisions
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: lfds2pid]
    #21935619 - 07/12/15 11:42 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

For me its the exact opposite the only thing that I can say is that it gets weird in my head sometimes but other than that everything is colorful and is pretty awesome. I even learned to embrace the weirdness in my head it makes me laugh and its pretty entertaining. I also think that life is a vivid dream that we all are going through so I shouldn't take it too seriously, but I want to make this the best dream possible. Another annoying thing is that I can't stop seeing us as apes really. I can't see past the fact that we are all animals and in a way its rewarding but I can't conform to anything anymore, but then again society is bullshit.


--------------------
Step 1: Stare at this for 30 seconds

Step 2: Look at this after following step one

Step 3: Enjoy the mini trip :trippinbawelz:


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Invisiblelfds2pid
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: LiquidVisions]
    #21935641 - 07/12/15 11:48 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

LiquidVisions said:
For me its the exact opposite the only thing that I can say is that it gets weird in my head sometimes but other than that everything is colorful and is pretty awesome. I even learned to embrace the weirdness in my head it makes me laugh and its pretty entertaining. I also think that life is a vivid dream that we all are going through so I shouldn't take it too seriously, but I want to make this the best dream possible. Another annoying thing is that I can't stop seeing us as apes really. I can't see past the fact that we are all animals and in a way its rewarding but I can't conform to anything anymore, but then again society is bullshit.




Everybody's different, but people are all the same.


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OfflineLiquidVisions
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: lfds2pid]
    #21935653 - 07/12/15 11:51 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Yea I understand that just thought I'd share how psychedelics affected my life.

EDIT: When you mess with mind altering substances an then experience a psychological change its easy to blame the drug. People search for answers in things they don't understand to make things easier but in actuality it leads to self blame which isn't right. That is another reason I posted my experience. Maybe it would help OP reconsider and keep searching for the reason he feels this way. 


--------------------
Step 1: Stare at this for 30 seconds

Step 2: Look at this after following step one

Step 3: Enjoy the mini trip :trippinbawelz:


Edited by LiquidVisions (07/12/15 11:56 PM)


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Offlinetopherchris
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21936377 - 07/13/15 08:28 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Sounds to me like he woke the F up LOL!

Welcome to reality. You actually pass this point, to something even worse than you are now. Where you critique yourself constantly. It's better/worse.

I've passed that point as well. Now I'm working on mindlessness and not judging people. Any time I look at someone and say "fat, slutty, greedy", I instantly feel guilty for judging them.

Now... I'm just about at the point where I'm convinced I don't want to live on this planet anymore. Actually I'm beyond that point...
Anyway, it's borderline suicidal. There's really NOWHERE on this planet you can go to be FREE and actually LIVE a decent life without fighting the elements every day (snow, bears, etc).

It sucks... But is it better to live as the fat rich slutty person, or better to be awakened? Pick up meditation if you haven't, yet. Learn to clear your mind. It's actually difficult for most. Try to see around all the garbage on this planet and live in the NOW... Try to see every moment as a miracle and a blessing. Look at the extremely intelligent relationship between everything on this planet. Trees and us, flowers and bees, the sun and the planet.

You'll get around this. I promise.


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OfflineDeathcore
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: topherchris]
    #21936574 - 07/13/15 09:43 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

ill respond to all of your messages later on but to make a summary, I have no family to support me, I have no degree, only a high school education, im not fit for the military, i kicked myself out at 18 and have to many tattoos on my arms and holes in my ears and my mental background wouldn't allow me in a second time. plus waking up only made me realize the military is evil anyway in all angles. I dont wanna waste my life for slave wages either.

What I meant about my medal is, I did it a little over 3 hours, next year i wanna do it under 3 hours like a 2:45 or faster, and I know what to do to achieve that but I would need fast money to afford even better nutrition and perfect sleep patterns.. Not working while trying to do it... Time doesnt pause for me to get enough money and enough rest... And again I have no family support.

But in my mind its telling me my dealt cards are a losing hand and to accept being a loser and thats it. I wasnt born with a silver spoon up my ass like many musicians, actors, etc... Everything was passed down to them and they just get to live it up...

The small percentage that doesn't sold there soul to achieve there fame and fortune, doing sick acts to get into the club house and what not.. politicians aswell. mostly are pedophiles... and they use that as dirt for the future if they dont comply... even Jared from subway just got into child porn...

Money is the root to all evil.. I believe that.. But its hard to live without it...lots and lots if it..

Unless you live homeless and trade your skills fir food but society is being more and more cruel to the homeless.. thats why they rob and steal...

If you dont want to comply and conform they put you in a padded room or behind bars..


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OfflineSupachopped719
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21936797 - 07/13/15 10:58 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I don't think it was the acid and shrooms that made you think all the politicians and celebrities are pedos. I think it was reading conspiracy theories on the Internet.

Yea money makes the world go round, big whoop, wanna cry about it? Money for us workin folks represents how much someone worked.

you want to eat? Food costs money, because no one is gonna farm food and then give it away for free. They want money to show for their work so they can pay their bills.

You want toilet paper right? Well for that to happen, some people have to go way out into the forest, cut down some trees, then haul those heavy ass trees all the way back to civilization to be sent through a processing plant. Where even more people run all these machines to turn the wood into toilet paper. Then they put them on trucks so yet another group of people transport the TP all over the nation to stores where more people have to stock and sell the toilet paper to you. 

You have to spend money for that toilet paper, because somehow all those people involved in bringing the TP to you have to eat food. They aren't gonna do all that for free. You have to work to get money so you can trade that money for that tiolet paper. So in a big round about way you are just trading your work for their work.


--------------------
Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21936990 - 07/13/15 11:53 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Maybe join a commune op....you seem perfect for the part. Look dude...no-one is telling you to embrace currency, you just have to accept it. It is what we use as barter primarily in this society.
Yeah, It sucks that some have to work less to gain more, but that is the way it goes.
Ps junkie gave you he solution...get out of your head and try doing something for someone else without expecting something back. There are tons of less fortunates out there than you.

I ran a 3:13 marathon in the 80's...10 years later I needed a hip replacement...no more marathons for me..but ya can't just cry about it...gotta keep moving forward. You don't have to be a dick to make money...just work hard...try that too. If you can run a marathon you certainly have the work ethic to achieve your goal..:shrug:


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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OfflineDeathcore
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #21937610 - 07/13/15 02:46 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

my goal is to be as fit as possible. If i was born into a rice family id be able to do it. But having to work to get the money for the food takes away from the time i have to work out and it ruins routine and sleep patterns.

I could just be a drug dealer or criminal but I have morals that dont allow me to do it. I thought about being a gay escort after reading about some London dude making 500 grand a year.. but again... i hate money... im stuck in a rut... and ill blink and be 50 years old.. half way done with my life..

i dont think ill need a hip replacement... there are 60 year old marathon runners.. i eat healthy and stay active. i dont smoke or do drugs... the odds of me having to get surgery or anything or slim...

ill probably die of stess if anything.. or martial law.. or both


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Invisibleguitardude3
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21937687 - 07/13/15 03:05 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I'm just seeing the end of this stage in my development. I was in pretty much the same place as you at your age, and I'm 29 now. For me, relentlessly following my heart and dreams is what led me to higher ground. If you keep peeling the onion, you will get to a point where you will see all of societies games as the funny little interactions of people who are really children. It also makes it easier to play them when you're not so emotional about it.

However, what helped me get there was more trippin, particularly ayahuasca and peyote in ceremony, and honesty plus hard work.  :awesomenod:


--------------------
All you see is an illusion, including my posts.

"Thanks to impermanence, everything is possible."
-Thich Nhat


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InvisibleBoomerMan420
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: guitardude3]
    #21937712 - 07/13/15 03:10 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

:macdre: "im a do it all, have a ball, while I'm still living and breathing"


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OfflineDeathcore
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: BoomerMan420]
    #21938520 - 07/13/15 06:10 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)



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OfflineSupachopped719
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21939390 - 07/13/15 09:26 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Deathcore said:





That's not called slavery in the real world..... That's called living beyond your means.

Plenty of people are able to work and save money and take vacations and even buy gifts for other people.


--------------------
Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.


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OfflineLain-chan
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: twelvelookslikeu]
    #21939407 - 07/13/15 09:29 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

twelvelookslikeu said:
Depression




or something more severe perhaps?


--------------------
Unofficial IRC chat | Lainzine

"... being a Linux user is sort of like living in a house inhabited by a large family of carpenters and architects. Every morning when you wake up, the house is a little different. Maybe there is a new turret, or some walls have moved. Or perhaps someone has temporarily removed the floor under your bed." - Unix for Dummies, 2nd Edition -- found in the .sig of Rob Riggs, rriggs@tesser.com

vs lbh pna ernq guvf, ravtzn.vax VEP zvtug vagrerfg lbh.



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Offlineoptyks
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Supachopped719]
    #21939438 - 07/13/15 09:35 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I think you're missing most of the points here.


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OfflineDeathcore
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Supachopped719]
    #21939749 - 07/13/15 10:41 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Supachopped719 said:
Quote:

Deathcore said:





That's not called slavery in the real world..... That's called living beyond your means.

Plenty of people are able to work and save money and take vacations and even buy gifts for other people.




so out of 365 days a year you get to induldge for 3% of it.. unless you sell your soul or accept gifts from your parents or grand parents who most likely obtained it selling theres... gotcha...


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InvisibleDevoswitch
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21939867 - 07/13/15 11:12 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

It's called growing up dude and it's taking place right now. There'll be heaps more changes take place too! I'm 30 and I feel I'm only just startin to plateau out now after everything seemed like a midlife crisis at 25.
Youre right about the elite controlling everything. A lot o people are starting to awaken and see what's actually happening just most are too lazy to do anything about it.
BTW...Topherchris There are many places you can live without having to fight the elements dude. There's more to the world than just America.


Edited by Devoswitch (07/13/15 11:14 PM)


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OfflineSupachopped719
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21939984 - 07/13/15 11:41 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

3%?

Please show your math you used to come up with this number.

I can show some of my math real quick.

24 hours in a day, only working 8 hours of it. Your working for 33.3% of the day.
You also get two days off a week.  So you get more than 66% of your time to yourself.

168 hours in a week and only 40 are spent to pay for the other 128.

There are plenty of 3 day weekends throughout the year as well as random days like Christmas and Fourth of July where you can take off as well, in America at least. This in addition to a week's vacation that most companies give you.

Also if you work really hard and LIVE BELOW YOUR MEANS you can save up and retire at 60, if you start working at 20 and live till 80, you'll only have worked half your years.

How should it work? No one should have to work and we all get free houses and free food and anything we want to do is free, travel, entertainment, gadgets, clothes, all free?

You also don't have to sell your soul just to indulge. :lolwut:

You know you are allowed to do what you love and love what you do right?  You don't have to work at McDonald's for the rest of your life as a minimum wage grunt. Find something you love and make it happen.


--------------------
Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.


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InvisibleTrichome_Delta9
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Supachopped719]
    #21940030 - 07/13/15 11:50 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

life is a trip just like any acid or shrooms trip realize this and enjoy everything you possibly can. everything is real and not real at the same time. but right now brother you are in this consciousness so enjoy as much as possible the trip aint over yet!


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OfflineMagicInMichigan
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Supachopped719]
    #21940093 - 07/14/15 12:07 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I felt the same ay at 25 a few year back. I wasn't in school anymore, fucked up a lot of relationships with everyone, money was hard to come by. Honestly if working a lot doesn't appeal to you I suggest getting into bartending/serving. When I started out I had shit shifts at a shit bar but after like 5 years and getting experience I ended up at a live music venue in Detroit working 3 days a week making over $1,000 a week un-taxed cash. You can do it too and have all the free time you want. It paid my way back into school and I'm finishing my PhD in Herpetology(study of reptiles and amphibians) this semester and will finally be doing what I want with my life after a 6 year break in between my bachelors and the 5 1/2 years I'm about to finish.

You can do it and life will get better. Working a lot does get in the way of a healthy lifestyle but I started doing yoga just an hour a day and lost 35lbs in 5 months. I ate better as well. I was literally one of the most unmotivated depressed and drug addicted individuals you could ever meet. One day 6 years ago my cousin, who was basically a brother to me and the only person who I could trust with my life, overdosed and died. It was the absolute worst moment of my life and I hope you never have to experience something like it. However losing him gave me the drive to be better and do better and truly made me appreciate every second of my life. Everything from how intricate grass grows or the color of the sky or a good meal means something to me now.

Whatever you do just don't give up. You get what you put in and if you can find out what you want to do for the rest of your life then you can do it. If the absolute piece of moral and physical shit I was can change and do what I love so can you. 25 is a rough year. 1/3 done with life, halfway through your 20's and finally time to grow up and accept you'll be a 30year old adult soon. But you're still young and have plenty of time. I didn't get back in school until 30 and I'm still super grateful I did everyday. I thank my cousin(in a crazy fucked up way) everyday for unintentionally sacrificing everything and being the motivator for me to succeed and the glue that brought my extended family back from the brink of damn near war.

You'll get there kid. A commune is a good place to go and find yourself. You will live comfortably and happy someday, the universe has a comfortable path for all of us if we find the right doors to open. I Wish you luck and prosperity in your future, everyone deserves it. Until then, don't worry and just take small steps toasted positive change one day at a time. Easy does it. Good luck. Sorry about the novel, I ramble when I trip and depression is a subject I'm passionate about as I've lost a few friends to it :undecided:

-MIM


--------------------
“the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.”

I surround myself with people who aren't afraid to live. They have had what they love most taken from them, be it freedom, love, money, or anything for that matter. When you lose your greatest love you also lose your greatest fear, when that happens you are completely and utterly free.


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Offlinesarahnya
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Supachopped719]
    #21940109 - 07/14/15 12:11 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Thats a bit naive, I know plenty of people who work hard and cant afford anything.

Im fine financially now but I could never afford to have kids.


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OfflineMagicInMichigan
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: sarahnya]
    #21940166 - 07/14/15 12:31 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

sarahnya said:
Thats a bit naive, I know plenty of people who work hard and cant afford anything.

Im fine financially now but I could never afford to have kids.





I know not everyone can go from dirt poor homeless drug addict like I was to being semi-successful(at least in my own eyes). I'm just saying with the right amount of motivation and willingness to put in the work/change your lifestyle, that life can be good and meaningful even if you were a suicidal heroin addict like myself. No not everyone gets what they want and hard work doesn't always pay off, but it is possible to change. It was either die on the streets or get clean and live a semi-normal life. After 10years of straight fiend out addict behavior and lifestyle I got clean. In the past 6 years I've been given many gifts by the universe and somehow not been fucked by all the bar karma I accumulated doing horrible things.

I'm not so naive to think everyone can be well off, I certainly barely scrape by even with what I make bartending thanks to student loans and grants. I may seem like an overly positive fucking fool, but I've been through so many awful things, mainly by my own hands, that living cynical and angry at the world would seem the most logical. Basically I faked being happy and loving life long enough that I really do now. I still have shitty days like everyone else, but everyone of those days is still a gift. I shouldn't be alive and I am, I just trying to help the OP realize people have come back from worse and someday they can possibly have what they want if they are willing to try hard and live with passion.

It may not work or it my, but it's worth trying because short cuts never got me anywhere. Not trying to offend anyone with my story, truly just trying to help. I know what it feels like to be 25 with no motivation and the feeling of being stuck in an endless tunnel of debt and servitude with no way out. It's always a long shot, but I wouldn't ever bet against myself and the OP shouldn't either. Thanks all I'm saying.

-MIM


--------------------
“the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.”

I surround myself with people who aren't afraid to live. They have had what they love most taken from them, be it freedom, love, money, or anything for that matter. When you lose your greatest love you also lose your greatest fear, when that happens you are completely and utterly free.


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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: MagicInMichigan]
    #21940197 - 07/14/15 12:40 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

You sir, are depressed. This has nothing to do with mushrooms or acid. There is also a lot of great advice in this thread. Just read and apply it.

Funny I should come across your thread as well. I had this exact same kinda "attack" this past Wednesday and I'm 24. Woke up, went to work and literally just broke down mentally. I saw my life as me just running in a circle going nowhere. Just working for nothing until I passed on from this reality.

Before this job, I was in my first year of college when my mother decided to move away. I stayed because of the love I have for my current girlfriend. So there I was, dropping out of college, homeless, no vehicle, no family, and no job.

Well after this attack last Wednesday, I decided to take some advice from some friends. I've now put in my two weeks to the shitty factory job I had, going back to school (you can too, so much financial aid out there man) and taking my relationship with my girl to the next level by moving in and supporting each other. The MDMA helped a lot as well.

Life is what you make of it. Stop being salty that it's not perfect and others have it easier than you. Doing it the hard way makes you a better person. Challenge yourself and stop making excuses.

Also, a job doesn't interfere with being physically fit unless you're just a diehard professional bodybuilder. I worked ten hour days, six days a week and still went to the gym almost everyday for two or three hours and got ripped as fuck.

I'll end with this: Life becomes immeasurably better when you force yourself to stop taking it so seriously.


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OfflineMagicInMichigan
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: blaQk]
    #21940233 - 07/14/15 12:54 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

blaQk said:
You sir, are depressed. This has nothing to do with mushrooms or acid. There is also a lot of great advice in this thread. Just read and apply it.

Funny I should come across your thread as well. I had this exact same kinda "attack" this past Wednesday and I'm 24. Woke up, went to work and literally just broke down mentally. I saw my life as me just running in a circle going nowhere. Just working for nothing until I passed on from this reality.

Before this job, I was in my first year of college when my mother decided to move away. I stayed because of the love I have for my current girlfriend. So there I was, dropping out of college, homeless, no vehicle, no family, and no job.

Well after this attack last Wednesday, I decided to take some advice from some friends. I've now put in my two weeks to the shitty factory job I had, going back to school (you can too, so much financial aid out there man) and taking my relationship with my girl to the next level by moving in and supporting each other. The MDMA helped a lot as well.

Life is what you make of it. Stop being salty that it's not perfect and others have it easier than you. Doing it the hard way makes you a better person. Challenge yourself and stop making excuses.

Also, a job doesn't interfere with being physically fit unless you're just a diehard professional bodybuilder. I worked ten hour days, six days a week and still went to the gym almost everyday for two or three hours and got ripped as fuck.

I'll end with this: Life becomes immeasurably better when you force yourself to stop taking it so seriously.



:whathesaid:  :foshizzle:  a counselor&/or a psychiatrist couldn't hurt either, it helps to talk to someone. Plus chemical imbalances can be a bitch.


--------------------
“the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.”

I surround myself with people who aren't afraid to live. They have had what they love most taken from them, be it freedom, love, money, or anything for that matter. When you lose your greatest love you also lose your greatest fear, when that happens you are completely and utterly free.


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Supachopped719]
    #21940591 - 07/14/15 04:26 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Supachopped719 said:
3%?

Please show your math you used to come up with this number.

I can show some of my math real quick.

24 hours in a day, only working 8 hours of it. Your working for 33.3% of the day.
You also get two days off a week.  So you get more than 66% of your time to yourself.

168 hours in a week and only 40 are spent to pay for the other 128.

There are plenty of 3 day weekends throughout the year as well as random days like Christmas and Fourth of July where you can take off as well, in America at least. This in addition to a week's vacation that most companies give you.

Also if you work really hard and LIVE BELOW YOUR MEANS you can save up and retire at 60, if you start working at 20 and live till 80, you'll only have worked half your years.

How should it work? No one should have to work and we all get free houses and free food and anything we want to do is free, travel, entertainment, gadgets, clothes, all free?

You also don't have to sell your soul just to indulge. :lolwut:

You know you are allowed to do what you love and love what you do right?  You don't have to work at McDonald's for the rest of your life as a minimum wage grunt. Find something you love and make it happen.


this just made me feel so much better about working :lol: now I'm going to feel like a child about complaining when I have to go to work haha


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InvisibleShroomopotamus
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21940599 - 07/14/15 04:33 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Deathcore said:
Its like a filter has been put over my brain and my processes are plastic like... Everything I look at doesnt glow as much as it once did, everything internally seems weird.. Like If i simply had proof I even exist and that others existed id be fine. I often feel like im just talking to myself and this is all an illusion...

Im also thinking maybe my brain chemistry is changing just for getting older.. ill be 25 this month.. things in general feel different.. a quarter or more of my life is gone and ive gained nothing. just a medal from a marathon i did... but its not good enough.. money isnt something i want to pursue... people are phony...




you were simply a soul in need of a good fucking up
enjoy it
you're free now
(:


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OfflineFlyOnTheWall
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21940612 - 07/14/15 04:40 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)



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OfflineSupachopped719
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #21941544 - 07/14/15 10:45 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Thanks REBEL. After posting that and proof reading it, I felt motivated as well.


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InvisibleMycophile
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Supachopped719]
    #21941619 - 07/14/15 11:02 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Supachopped719 said:
Quote:

Deathcore said:





That's not called slavery in the real world..... That's called living beyond your means.

Plenty of people are able to work and save money and take vacations and even buy gifts for other people.




exactly. I know I let myself do it all the time.

Do you drink? do you smoke? do you buy psychs? do you eat out or get take out? have you considering adding roommates? its surprising how fast "extra money" can disappear.

for someone who can supposedly "see through the bullshit", your awfully hung up on this wage slave thing. maybe you should re-evaluate how correct your assumptions are about the world at large. you seem so convinced that you can see everything for what it is...... when you keep bringing up money as the primary source of your problems. doesn't add up to me. maybe those "doors" you opened didn't open quite enough?

does it make me mad that there are people landing helicopters on their yachts to meet up with their 6 girlfriends? sure, it could, but it doesn't. it's not your life. it's not mine, and it probably never will be. who cares? we're all doing the best we can figure out how to be the best we can.

Even when it all goes to bills- work can be very zen, as long as you haven't convinced yourself that you are a temporarily disgraced millionaire -who is "above" working a shit job just to make it. we all have to earn our keep.

believe me I feel you.  I found that there is a strange energy attached to money. the funny thing was that when I decided I couldn't worry about the money anymore (within reason of course) and just tried to be happy, all of a sudden I had money for my bills rent etc. I also started buying groceries and learned to cook for myself.


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InvisibleMycophile
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Mycophile]
    #21941673 - 07/14/15 11:17 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I hate to double post but this just occurred to me.

whatever your work is, no matter how shitty, remember you are helping people. you have the potential to bring people joy. let's say you're waiting tables, and you give them the best of you- you can allow them to have a stellar time and put a smile on their faces, no matter how fleeting. smiles can be hard to come by, as you should know considering how bad you've been feeling. wouldn't it be nice if someone could make you smile right now in the face of all you are dealing with? you have the power to provide that to people, in the smallest of gestures and in the shittiest of circumstances.

when you can help people, and see their humanity and their inner light for just a second, it's like a mirror, and it can make your light brighter too. we can all be mirrors for the best things in people, and that's what makes the world go round, not money. some people call it love.

maybe trying to help someone less fit than you start a running program could be rewarding? if you enjoy it, you could even expand on it to the point of being a running coach/personal trainer. Just a thought.


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:borg: RESISTANCE IS FUTILE :borg:

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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Mycophile]
    #21941893 - 07/14/15 12:39 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

i dont smoke, i dont drink, i dont eat out, i cook everything i eat, i use simply ingredients, i stay clean so my body stays clean.


i dont have many friends because i hate most people and dont trust anybody and society has nothing to offer me. So many phony money hungry stuck up fucks who only care about what you have and not who you are.

@supachopped - you didnt add the fact that you need atleast 8 hours of sleep which isnt living either, so that gives u 8 hours a day of free time and either way, a 9-5 is slavery considering the fact most americans pay for gas, insurance, car payment, mortgage, food, etc....oh and even a credit card or 3
. therefore that $500 paycheck really equals maybe $50 a a check to actually spend.

Sure you can save.. but then all you're doing is saving... Not spending..

Its a slave system when prices of everything rises and are obselete prior to the blueprint letalone when you are craving the next iphone or gaystation.

All I want to do is get faster, stronger, and healthier, so im on the right track... Because I live a small life... But I know that i also hate watching the world burn more and more, seeing the same retarded looking people self sabotage and decay. If everybody in the world stopped paying the entire thing would collapse.

Fuck.


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21941924 - 07/14/15 12:46 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

i dont have many friends because i hate most people and dont trust anybody and society has nothing to offer me. So many phony money hungry stuck up fucks who only care about what you have and not who you are




I mean I wouldn't wanna hang out with you either :shrug:

You're being a pretentious douche looking down on everyone for being "slaves" while you're bitching on an internet forum about how you don't have any friends :burke:

Get over yourself


--------------------
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OfflineDeathcore
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Mycophile]
    #21941936 - 07/14/15 12:49 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Mycophile said:
I hate to double post but this just occurred to me.

whatever your work is, no matter how shitty, remember you are helping people. you have the potential to bring people joy. let's say you're waiting tables, and you give them the best of you- you can allow them to have a stellar time and put a smile on their faces, no matter how fleeting. smiles can be hard to come by, as you should know considering how bad you've been feeling. wouldn't it be nice if someone could make you smile right now in the face of all you are dealing with? you have the power to provide that to people, in the smallest of gestures and in the shittiest of circumstances.

when you can help people, and see their humanity and their inner light for just a second, it's like a mirror, and it can make your light brighter too. we can all be mirrors for the best things in people, and that's what makes the world go round, not money. some people call it love.

maybe trying to help someone less fit than you start a running program could be rewarding? if you enjoy it, you could even expand on it to the point of being a running coach/personal trainer. Just a thought.




i see and know what you mean.. but waiting tables for shitty food in an evil corporation that knows there food contains poison that promotes mental illness and physical disease only makes me not only hate the person who doesnt care, but myself for knowing whats in it and asking which poison they would like to indulge themselves in today.

that goes for stocking, cleaning, cooking, etc...

gas stations and grocery stores that cell cigarettes and high fructose corn syrup and aspartame, and other bullshit unnecessary chemicals..

fast food joints that people are addicted to.

pizza joints with MSG.

i can go on and on and on... its all unnecessary

meat glue, pink slime, sodium fluoride, vaccinations.. so that scraps the medical industry for me.. pharmaceutical drugs that cause problems..

chemo therapy..

see what i mean?

everything is by design..

and lsd just made me see it all at once and magnified, then religion plays a role with my madness.. i feel like i deserve all of this.. because im not doing anything to stop it.. because i cant.. because im not meant to.. because my past revolved around partaking in it.. i used to smoke cigs and drink, i smoked weed all day every day, i lied to alot of people, manipulated situations to work in my favor...for that "now" moment.. and in this current time i realize i cant go back to fix it all..



i try to justify it by saying well lesson learned but it still hurts... and people hurt me..

im living a mind fuck... and i still cant prove its even real..

then i start to think the only way is death.. but what if death is a million times worse? i would kill to come back to this... but what is this? this is madness... this is sparta... but no seriously... im just fucked...

i wont suicide, but sometimes i feel the way i live is prolonged suicide.. due to stress... that i cause myself..


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OfflineDeathcore
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21941941 - 07/14/15 12:51 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Quote:

i dont have many friends because i hate most people and dont trust anybody and society has nothing to offer me. So many phony money hungry stuck up fucks who only care about what you have and not who you are




I mean I wouldn't wanna hang out with you either :shrug:

You're being a pretentious douche looking down on everyone for being "slaves" while you're bitching on an internet forum about how you don't have any friends :burke:

Get over yourself




im not bitching on the internet for not having any friends.. did u even read? i dont care about society as it has nothing to offer me.. keep eating your tacobell and playing call of duty or whatever the fuck you play..

i run 15 miles a day u and most people couldnt keep up with me anyway..

i dont have time to "hang out" as you described it


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21941952 - 07/14/15 12:53 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Go see a shrink


--------------------
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I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
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InvisibleMycophile
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21941988 - 07/14/15 01:02 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I mean it's kind of like saying you're a slave to having a body- and needing food and shelter. Of course its not free. and it never will be. everything in the physical world has a cost, even if you skip the currency. But of course you already know that, and i'm sure it sounds redundant.

I have felt that way, and sometimes still do, and in many ways, always do, but what I know is that once I was over the shock of realizing it my internal world leveled back out. but hey- when you feel bad like that, hearing other people say "it gets better" doesn't help. in fact it can be downright frustrating. people trying to relate to your own personal hell isn't relevant, and I guess not fair, so apologies if i've tried to do that too much

sometimes you just want to feel bad, and theres nothing anyone, including you, can say or do about it. no one can forecast or change the season of emotion, they just happen.

When you find yourself in a hole like that, you can't turn your head around 360 degrees and see in all directions. when you try look around, its all dirt. you can't look around and say, "hey there's the forest, hey there's a car, there's a bird, hey there's a family, hey there's my friend."

all you can see the the hole in sky above your head, and it looks mighty empty. I hope you find a way to poke your head up over the edge of the hole someday soon and remember all that stuff that is out there that you love.


--------------------
:borg: RESISTANCE IS FUTILE :borg:

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OfflineDeathcore
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21941999 - 07/14/15 01:05 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Go see a shrink





shrinks get paid to pretend to care.

the drugs they offer only dumb down and screw up the heart and liver. no thank you


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OfflineDeathcore
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21942009 - 07/14/15 01:08 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

do animals use money? they make it just fine.. but if a human lives like an animal he gets locked into a cage or padded room and force medicated.

the resources are out there for every one on earth to have free power/energy, food, and happiness..

eat the rich to feed the poor


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InvisibleMycophile
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Mycophile]
    #21942036 - 07/14/15 01:19 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

again with the double posting.. sorry.

Do you really think that there are great evils in this world? do you really think the current state of affairs with corporations and currency and politics matters in the grand scheme of things? What does a perfect world look like to you? explain it, please. this world and this universe are by definition: perfect. they lack all flaws and evil by the nature of their very existence. There is no right or wrong in the language of the void we occupy.

If a meteor smashed into the earth and turned it into an ocean of molten lava- It would eventually spin back out into the same format. water, atmosphere, conditions for life. this planet and life as a whole always reaches equilibrium (sure, it will be swallowed by the sun, or a black hole eventually, but that's to the same point im trying to make, its meant to be. good and evil aren't real in this context. Good and evil are only real from the selfish perspective of the downtrodden human who has lost sight of the great truth of simpy being

I think maybe the most evil thing on this planet comes from within- it's the hate and sadness that can be allowed to consume us to the point of hating other people... pushing away friends... despising mundane tasks such as work and paying bills... shutting yourself off to the world and becoming bitter and keeping your tiny bit of light you've been given from shining out onto your fellow man. sound familiar? The basic tragedy of being given a life to live can get the best of us. This is truly the root of all things "evil". this is the real poison. It is a poison of the heart and soul.

The real evil is inside yourself, it's in all of us. and right now yours is kicking your ass. It happens.


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InvisibleMycophile
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21942067 - 07/14/15 01:31 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

No, they don't, because they rely on natural law. kill or be killed. they have no luxury, it's all survival.

interestingly the picture you posted seems to imply that living for pure survival makes you a slave.

Go ahead man. no one is stopping you from going to live in a commune. or pulling a 'into the wild"

I've thought about doing it too when the same kind of stuff was kicking my ass. In fact, my feeling about this shit at one point escalated to a completely insane fever pitch.

I was convinced of impending apocalypse caused by corporate greed and disease I saw no other way things could go on the earth. I knew for a fact it was coming. I convinced myself that after being an atheist my whole like that god had finally chosen to show himself to me and was sending me messages. because I felt like i was the only one who could see these things- I thought I was one of the few chosen ones. I tried to convince my girlfriend to move to the side of a mountain in the wilderness with me to ride it out and repopulate the earth with the chosen children. living off only genetically pure vegetables grown from seed. I was convinced that the fresh start was coming and it was our job to make it happen, as we were the ONLY ONES who could see it.

I later realized of course, I was basically in a variety of paranoid psychosis from being too tripped the fuck out, and becoming to aware of the world around me too fast. It hurt, and I still get red in the face thinking about how completely bonkers it had gotten, and how incapable of seeing reason I was.

Prior to this period of time in my life - I though hippies were ridiculous and old hack. didn't want to hear that shit. I was a little metalhead kid who loved jumping ramps on his bike. A few real strong doses and some self reflection and things got out of hand fast. all of a sudden i'm seeking out genetically pure tomatoes and looking up how much land costs in the mountains.


Now I teach kids music and have found some kind of peace. and i'm still young, all this was just a few years ago. life is crazy man. never underestimate your own ability to experience change- for better or for worse.


--------------------
:borg: RESISTANCE IS FUTILE :borg:

      My records for your prints


Edited by Mycophile (07/14/15 01:41 PM)


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InvisibleSoul-Shine

Registered: 11/02/13
Posts: 338
Loc: Within and Without
Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Mycophile]
    #21942080 - 07/14/15 01:35 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Why not get a job on a cruise ship, or something of the ilk, and go see the world? Maybe getting out of your environment will be the recharge that you're seeking. It seems that you view the "normal" existence as contrived, so discover how other people round the globe live. You can do anything if you put your mind to it.


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OfflineSupachopped719
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21942088 - 07/14/15 01:38 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Deathcore said:
Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Quote:

i dont have many friends because i hate most people and dont trust anybody and society has nothing to offer me. So many phony money hungry stuck up fucks who only care about what you have and not who you are




I mean I wouldn't wanna hang out with you either :shrug:

You're being a pretentious douche looking down on everyone for being "slaves" while you're bitching on an internet forum about how you don't have any friends :burke:

Get over yourself





im not bitching on the internet for not having any friends.. did u even read? i dont care about society as it has nothing to offer me.. keep eating your tacobell and playing call of duty or whatever the fuck you play..

i run 15 miles a day u and most people couldnt keep up with me anyway..

i dont have time to "hang out" as you described it




Society has nothing to offer you? Go live in a third world country, or better yet go live in the wilderness butt naked and then come back and tell us the society offers you nothing.

Better yet just tell us one thing that you offer society.

You don't have to work at some 'evil corporation shoving poison down people's throats'. There are tons of 'wholesome' professions out there that provide a positive.

You are physically fit? Go be a personal trainer and help obese people lose weight so they can live longer, maybe live long enough to see their grandchildren grow up.

Or go be a firefighter. They don't give vaccines, mostly made up of volunteers, and give people a second chance at life.

Or you could be a plumber and be responsible for all the sewers not getting backed up, causing a huge shit to flow down the streets of the city making everyone sick and bringing back the bubonic plague.

There are literally millions of things you could do besides wallowing in self pity and crying that some people are rich and the fact you gotta buy food and pay for your housing.

I ask again, how should the world work? Free food and shelter and no one works ever?


--------------------
Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.


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OfflineSupachopped719
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21942100 - 07/14/15 01:41 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Deathcore said:
do animals use money? they make it just fine.. but if a human lives like an animal he gets locked into a cage or padded room and force medicated.

the resources are out there for every one on earth to have free power/energy, food, and happiness..

eat the rich to feed the poor




if everyone got all that for free, who would pay for it?


--------------------
Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.


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InvisibleMycophile
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Soul-Shine]
    #21942114 - 07/14/15 01:44 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Soul-Shine said:
Why not get a job on a cruise ship, or something of the ilk, and go see the world? Maybe getting out of your environment will be the recharge that you're seeking. It seems that you view the "normal" existence as contrived, so discover how other people round the globe live. You can do anything if you put your mind to it.




yeah, this too. I assume you're in USA. a lot of these feelings come with the territory of living here. there is other shit going on in the world. other standards of living, and cultures that share your values more closley


--------------------
:borg: RESISTANCE IS FUTILE :borg:

      My records for your prints


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OfflineJimmyhunter1000
That guy.
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Registered: 06/15/12
Posts: 777
Loc: Massachusetts, USA.
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Mycophile]
    #21943041 - 07/14/15 05:28 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

You could always work for a local town's Department of Public works. I recently started doing that and now I work all week as a gardener/public field tender. Doing something you can look back at and enjoy gives a really good feeling of accomplishment as well as making a decent living wage after you work on getting both your Class B and even your class A. My town will even let their DPW workers use their trucks for the tests so you're only paying for the driving test.

Heck even getting a job anywhere would help you out.


--------------------
There isn't a trail too long or too wide.


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
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Posts: 13,851
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Jimmyhunter1000]
    #21943061 - 07/14/15 05:32 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Nah bro you're just gonna be planting flowers for the man.


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineMagicInMichigan
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Registered: 07/07/15
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21944343 - 07/14/15 10:35 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Society has nothing to offer... Except forums to vent on and have people try to help you. Yes being a slave for the man sucks fucking cock 100%. The bar I work at is owned by two amazingly caring and community oriented people here and they have been with my through all my fucked up issues and stood by me seeing through the evil I had become. I was very lucky to have them as my family and friends had completely abandoned me, or better yet me them.

I'll give you the point that most people are just interested in what you have not who you are, I don't have too many friends as I trust almost no one. But the 10 or so people I have let in my life after extensive bullshit I fed myself and them and they still suck around and truly do care about me and not what I have or do.

There are still some good people out there! They are just very hard to findAll you need is one truly great friend or and amazing significant other and it will change your life. When someone continues to care about you when you yourself do not and treat them like shit it will wake you up and help you change to try and make them happy how they do to you. Also not all psych meds will fuck up your liver, there are vitamins and natural herbs you can take for depression, google it.

Sorry if my positivity seems unrealistic for your situation, but I was way worse off, doing way worse things, making way less money, living in alleys in Detroit robbing people for dope. Not even to get high, just to be able to function. It sound like you could really be depressed and even simple wellbutrin would help with that and do minimal damage. I was on a few things for a year or two until I finally started enjoying life and gradually weened off them and live normal now and just smoke pot and trip. I tripped once a weep for 4 months when I initially got clean and it opened my eyes to the world and made it damn near impossible to be down on myself.

Social and economical slavery is a real thing, you can overcome it, but even if you do with the attitude you have it would be hard to be happy even if you were a millionaire. I know a few people in the city who work at /shitty min wage jobs and share one bedroom apartments 5 and 6 ways but they have a roof over their heads and they find the joy in life without spending a dime besides on essentials. Get healthy, get fit, feel better physically and it will help you become more positive and feel better emotionally.

For one day stop every negative thought you have once it starts and say no negative thing out loud and push yourself to see the beauty in internal freedom and freedom of expression. It may never be true freedom but it will help change your perspective. I wish you all the best, I only keep posting because me at 25 sounded exactly the same and I don't anymore.

If you believe the world wants you unhappy, you will be. I just don't understand anymore how anyone could let the most corrupt & selfish society in a long time make them feel exactly how they want you to feel...like SHIT. By being unhappy you are letting them win. Don't ever let any mother fucker or group of mother fuckers break you. Financially they can ruin you, but they can't ruin your will if you are strong willed enough.

Kick the socioeconomic slave societies ass kid. Be happy when everything is stacked against you and you will be extremely happy when something goes your way.
just :2cents: but I'd be saying  :bitchplease: and grabbing the world by its saggy ol' scrotum and twisting that thing it it taps out and gives me what I want.


-MIM


--------------------
“the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.”

I surround myself with people who aren't afraid to live. They have had what they love most taken from them, be it freedom, love, money, or anything for that matter. When you lose your greatest love you also lose your greatest fear, when that happens you are completely and utterly free.


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OfflineMr. Gilligan
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Registered: 07/13/15
Posts: 230
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
    #21946660 - 07/15/15 10:23 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Deathcore said:
Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Go see a shrink





shrinks get paid to pretend to care.

the drugs they offer only dumb down and screw up the heart and liver. no thank you




I highly recommend talking to a therapist and telling them specifically you are not interested in any medication. I hit a spot several years ago and went to 8 sessions and it was, looking back, one of the best things i have ever done. I was on Benzos before that and just having a rough time. I was fed up with my job and who i was helping and some things you have mentioned. I am now in my 2nd yr as a teacher, i am in grad school, and i have never been happier despite the fact i make less money. I actually am able to save more and am fairly healthy now. They seem to help you find the root cause of issues that i was masking. Talk these issues out and help you understand. 

I agree with the way several people put it, that you have waken up, and seen a lot of things quickly. I think the same type thing happened to me. The thing that finally got me over the fear of changing my comfortable life was a huge psychedelic trip at the LOCKN festival.

Find something you like to do, a skill, and make it on your own. Volunteer and help society go forward. There is a lot of good out there, the problem is it gets overshadowed by the bad. You have to start looking through a new lens. 

Mediation and being mindful of every action is huge as well. You are capable of many small actions that can help a greater cause. Plant seeds wherever you can and watch how they grow.


--------------------


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InvisibleDiscoBiscuitsTrip
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Registered: 06/05/10
Posts: 1,422
Loc: FL
Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Mr. Gilligan]
    #21947410 - 07/15/15 01:33 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

You sound like a glass half empty kinda guy.


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OfflineMakingProgress
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Registered: 07/15/15
Posts: 4
Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: DiscoBiscuitsTrip]
    #21947998 - 07/15/15 03:36 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Though leaving the coutry isn't necessary, I think a change in your surroundings could be useful.


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Invisiblepaperbackwriter
Edward Lear


Registered: 03/31/14
Posts: 1,888
Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: MakingProgress]
    #21948082 - 07/15/15 03:51 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I don't often proselytize, in fact I make it a point not too, but I'm going to make an acception.

I think you need more drugs!

Seriously.  Rick Doblin said that often the problem isn't too many psychedelics but not enough.  If you've dug enough to scratch the surface but not deep enough to see that all is full of love, then you haven't gone deep enough.

Go deeper deathcore.  I like your posts.  It sucks that you're struggling but I can relate.

Much love and good vibes to you :laugh:


--------------------
Why should we strive with cynic frown
To knock their fairy castles down?  ~ Eliza Cook

It's rather embarrassing to have given one's entire life to pondering the human predicament and to find that in the end one has little more to say than, 'Try to be a little kinder.' ~Aldous Huxley


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Offlinelosthunter
Stranger

Registered: 06/05/15
Posts: 16
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #21949016 - 07/15/15 07:27 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I agree with what your saying. the world as it stands cannot function without money. however there are other ways of forming society and the environment we live in that is self sustainable and based on a reward in the community system.

it is possible to have cities with a population cap that can run as a mega-community. The jobs they do directly benefit them and their neighbors. the bad jobs can be automated and if thats not possible people who volunteer get more points on a reward system which eventually adds up to higher perks in the community (closer office parking, home extension...).

you can do away with roads and traffic by incorporating an underground monorail with run off electricity not gas. people can have their own hub that brings them to their selected destination. all running in sinc with other users. It means that the surface can be left to parks , nature and footpaths. buildings can be built to be self sustainable and blend in.
and use power from the surrounding areas available green resources. eventually cities would be interconnected and share/trade community supplies. different areas would have different resources.

all together removing the need for money. everyone does a job their passionate about and you can still improve your position in the world. also being more connected with natural surrounding rather than cities of concrete.

but it wont happen until the collapse of currency. whenever that may be.

:grin: just food for thought


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