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Mycophile
Assimilated

Registered: 11/09/08
Posts: 208
Loc: Sector 001
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Mycophile]
#21941673 - 07/14/15 11:17 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I hate to double post but this just occurred to me.
whatever your work is, no matter how shitty, remember you are helping people. you have the potential to bring people joy. let's say you're waiting tables, and you give them the best of you- you can allow them to have a stellar time and put a smile on their faces, no matter how fleeting. smiles can be hard to come by, as you should know considering how bad you've been feeling. wouldn't it be nice if someone could make you smile right now in the face of all you are dealing with? you have the power to provide that to people, in the smallest of gestures and in the shittiest of circumstances.
when you can help people, and see their humanity and their inner light for just a second, it's like a mirror, and it can make your light brighter too. we can all be mirrors for the best things in people, and that's what makes the world go round, not money. some people call it love.
maybe trying to help someone less fit than you start a running program could be rewarding? if you enjoy it, you could even expand on it to the point of being a running coach/personal trainer. Just a thought.
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RESISTANCE IS FUTILE My records for your prints
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Deathcore
Stranger


Registered: 06/08/13
Posts: 1,934
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Mycophile]
#21941893 - 07/14/15 12:39 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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i dont smoke, i dont drink, i dont eat out, i cook everything i eat, i use simply ingredients, i stay clean so my body stays clean.
i dont have many friends because i hate most people and dont trust anybody and society has nothing to offer me. So many phony money hungry stuck up fucks who only care about what you have and not who you are.
@supachopped - you didnt add the fact that you need atleast 8 hours of sleep which isnt living either, so that gives u 8 hours a day of free time and either way, a 9-5 is slavery considering the fact most americans pay for gas, insurance, car payment, mortgage, food, etc....oh and even a credit card or 3 . therefore that $500 paycheck really equals maybe $50 a a check to actually spend.
Sure you can save.. but then all you're doing is saving... Not spending..
Its a slave system when prices of everything rises and are obselete prior to the blueprint letalone when you are craving the next iphone or gaystation.
All I want to do is get faster, stronger, and healthier, so im on the right track... Because I live a small life... But I know that i also hate watching the world burn more and more, seeing the same retarded looking people self sabotage and decay. If everybody in the world stopped paying the entire thing would collapse.
Fuck.
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
#21941924 - 07/14/15 12:46 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
i dont have many friends because i hate most people and dont trust anybody and society has nothing to offer me. So many phony money hungry stuck up fucks who only care about what you have and not who you are
I mean I wouldn't wanna hang out with you either 
You're being a pretentious douche looking down on everyone for being "slaves" while you're bitching on an internet forum about how you don't have any friends 
Get over yourself
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Deathcore
Stranger


Registered: 06/08/13
Posts: 1,934
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Mycophile]
#21941936 - 07/14/15 12:49 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mycophile said: I hate to double post but this just occurred to me.
whatever your work is, no matter how shitty, remember you are helping people. you have the potential to bring people joy. let's say you're waiting tables, and you give them the best of you- you can allow them to have a stellar time and put a smile on their faces, no matter how fleeting. smiles can be hard to come by, as you should know considering how bad you've been feeling. wouldn't it be nice if someone could make you smile right now in the face of all you are dealing with? you have the power to provide that to people, in the smallest of gestures and in the shittiest of circumstances.
when you can help people, and see their humanity and their inner light for just a second, it's like a mirror, and it can make your light brighter too. we can all be mirrors for the best things in people, and that's what makes the world go round, not money. some people call it love.
maybe trying to help someone less fit than you start a running program could be rewarding? if you enjoy it, you could even expand on it to the point of being a running coach/personal trainer. Just a thought.
i see and know what you mean.. but waiting tables for shitty food in an evil corporation that knows there food contains poison that promotes mental illness and physical disease only makes me not only hate the person who doesnt care, but myself for knowing whats in it and asking which poison they would like to indulge themselves in today.
that goes for stocking, cleaning, cooking, etc...
gas stations and grocery stores that cell cigarettes and high fructose corn syrup and aspartame, and other bullshit unnecessary chemicals..
fast food joints that people are addicted to.
pizza joints with MSG.
i can go on and on and on... its all unnecessary
meat glue, pink slime, sodium fluoride, vaccinations.. so that scraps the medical industry for me.. pharmaceutical drugs that cause problems..
chemo therapy..
see what i mean?
everything is by design..
and lsd just made me see it all at once and magnified, then religion plays a role with my madness.. i feel like i deserve all of this.. because im not doing anything to stop it.. because i cant.. because im not meant to.. because my past revolved around partaking in it.. i used to smoke cigs and drink, i smoked weed all day every day, i lied to alot of people, manipulated situations to work in my favor...for that "now" moment.. and in this current time i realize i cant go back to fix it all..
i try to justify it by saying well lesson learned but it still hurts... and people hurt me..
im living a mind fuck... and i still cant prove its even real..
then i start to think the only way is death.. but what if death is a million times worse? i would kill to come back to this... but what is this? this is madness... this is sparta... but no seriously... im just fucked...
i wont suicide, but sometimes i feel the way i live is prolonged suicide.. due to stress... that i cause myself..
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Deathcore
Stranger


Registered: 06/08/13
Posts: 1,934
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Quote:
Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Quote:
i dont have many friends because i hate most people and dont trust anybody and society has nothing to offer me. So many phony money hungry stuck up fucks who only care about what you have and not who you are
I mean I wouldn't wanna hang out with you either 
You're being a pretentious douche looking down on everyone for being "slaves" while you're bitching on an internet forum about how you don't have any friends 
Get over yourself
im not bitching on the internet for not having any friends.. did u even read? i dont care about society as it has nothing to offer me.. keep eating your tacobell and playing call of duty or whatever the fuck you play..
i run 15 miles a day u and most people couldnt keep up with me anyway..
i dont have time to "hang out" as you described it
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
#21941952 - 07/14/15 12:53 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Go see a shrink
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Mycophile
Assimilated

Registered: 11/09/08
Posts: 208
Loc: Sector 001
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
#21941988 - 07/14/15 01:02 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I mean it's kind of like saying you're a slave to having a body- and needing food and shelter. Of course its not free. and it never will be. everything in the physical world has a cost, even if you skip the currency. But of course you already know that, and i'm sure it sounds redundant.
I have felt that way, and sometimes still do, and in many ways, always do, but what I know is that once I was over the shock of realizing it my internal world leveled back out. but hey- when you feel bad like that, hearing other people say "it gets better" doesn't help. in fact it can be downright frustrating. people trying to relate to your own personal hell isn't relevant, and I guess not fair, so apologies if i've tried to do that too much
sometimes you just want to feel bad, and theres nothing anyone, including you, can say or do about it. no one can forecast or change the season of emotion, they just happen.
When you find yourself in a hole like that, you can't turn your head around 360 degrees and see in all directions. when you try look around, its all dirt. you can't look around and say, "hey there's the forest, hey there's a car, there's a bird, hey there's a family, hey there's my friend."
all you can see the the hole in sky above your head, and it looks mighty empty. I hope you find a way to poke your head up over the edge of the hole someday soon and remember all that stuff that is out there that you love.
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RESISTANCE IS FUTILE My records for your prints
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Deathcore
Stranger


Registered: 06/08/13
Posts: 1,934
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Quote:
Malcolm_Xtasy said: Go see a shrink
shrinks get paid to pretend to care.
the drugs they offer only dumb down and screw up the heart and liver. no thank you
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Deathcore
Stranger


Registered: 06/08/13
Posts: 1,934
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
#21942009 - 07/14/15 01:08 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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do animals use money? they make it just fine.. but if a human lives like an animal he gets locked into a cage or padded room and force medicated.
the resources are out there for every one on earth to have free power/energy, food, and happiness..
eat the rich to feed the poor
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Mycophile
Assimilated

Registered: 11/09/08
Posts: 208
Loc: Sector 001
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Mycophile]
#21942036 - 07/14/15 01:19 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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again with the double posting.. sorry.
Do you really think that there are great evils in this world? do you really think the current state of affairs with corporations and currency and politics matters in the grand scheme of things? What does a perfect world look like to you? explain it, please. this world and this universe are by definition: perfect. they lack all flaws and evil by the nature of their very existence. There is no right or wrong in the language of the void we occupy.
If a meteor smashed into the earth and turned it into an ocean of molten lava- It would eventually spin back out into the same format. water, atmosphere, conditions for life. this planet and life as a whole always reaches equilibrium (sure, it will be swallowed by the sun, or a black hole eventually, but that's to the same point im trying to make, its meant to be. good and evil aren't real in this context. Good and evil are only real from the selfish perspective of the downtrodden human who has lost sight of the great truth of simpy being
I think maybe the most evil thing on this planet comes from within- it's the hate and sadness that can be allowed to consume us to the point of hating other people... pushing away friends... despising mundane tasks such as work and paying bills... shutting yourself off to the world and becoming bitter and keeping your tiny bit of light you've been given from shining out onto your fellow man. sound familiar? The basic tragedy of being given a life to live can get the best of us. This is truly the root of all things "evil". this is the real poison. It is a poison of the heart and soul.
The real evil is inside yourself, it's in all of us. and right now yours is kicking your ass. It happens.
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RESISTANCE IS FUTILE My records for your prints
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Mycophile
Assimilated

Registered: 11/09/08
Posts: 208
Loc: Sector 001
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
#21942067 - 07/14/15 01:31 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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No, they don't, because they rely on natural law. kill or be killed. they have no luxury, it's all survival.
interestingly the picture you posted seems to imply that living for pure survival makes you a slave.
Go ahead man. no one is stopping you from going to live in a commune. or pulling a 'into the wild"
I've thought about doing it too when the same kind of stuff was kicking my ass. In fact, my feeling about this shit at one point escalated to a completely insane fever pitch.
I was convinced of impending apocalypse caused by corporate greed and disease I saw no other way things could go on the earth. I knew for a fact it was coming. I convinced myself that after being an atheist my whole like that god had finally chosen to show himself to me and was sending me messages. because I felt like i was the only one who could see these things- I thought I was one of the few chosen ones. I tried to convince my girlfriend to move to the side of a mountain in the wilderness with me to ride it out and repopulate the earth with the chosen children. living off only genetically pure vegetables grown from seed. I was convinced that the fresh start was coming and it was our job to make it happen, as we were the ONLY ONES who could see it.
I later realized of course, I was basically in a variety of paranoid psychosis from being too tripped the fuck out, and becoming to aware of the world around me too fast. It hurt, and I still get red in the face thinking about how completely bonkers it had gotten, and how incapable of seeing reason I was.
Prior to this period of time in my life - I though hippies were ridiculous and old hack. didn't want to hear that shit. I was a little metalhead kid who loved jumping ramps on his bike. A few real strong doses and some self reflection and things got out of hand fast. all of a sudden i'm seeking out genetically pure tomatoes and looking up how much land costs in the mountains.
Now I teach kids music and have found some kind of peace. and i'm still young, all this was just a few years ago. life is crazy man. never underestimate your own ability to experience change- for better or for worse.
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RESISTANCE IS FUTILE My records for your prints
Edited by Mycophile (07/14/15 01:41 PM)
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Soul-Shine

Registered: 11/02/13
Posts: 338
Loc: Within and Without
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Mycophile]
#21942080 - 07/14/15 01:35 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Why not get a job on a cruise ship, or something of the ilk, and go see the world? Maybe getting out of your environment will be the recharge that you're seeking. It seems that you view the "normal" existence as contrived, so discover how other people round the globe live. You can do anything if you put your mind to it.
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Supachopped719
Stranger


Registered: 10/16/13
Posts: 3,311
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
#21942088 - 07/14/15 01:38 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Deathcore said:
Quote:
Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Quote:
i dont have many friends because i hate most people and dont trust anybody and society has nothing to offer me. So many phony money hungry stuck up fucks who only care about what you have and not who you are
I mean I wouldn't wanna hang out with you either 
You're being a pretentious douche looking down on everyone for being "slaves" while you're bitching on an internet forum about how you don't have any friends 
Get over yourself
im not bitching on the internet for not having any friends.. did u even read? i dont care about society as it has nothing to offer me.. keep eating your tacobell and playing call of duty or whatever the fuck you play..
i run 15 miles a day u and most people couldnt keep up with me anyway..
i dont have time to "hang out" as you described it
Society has nothing to offer you? Go live in a third world country, or better yet go live in the wilderness butt naked and then come back and tell us the society offers you nothing.
Better yet just tell us one thing that you offer society.
You don't have to work at some 'evil corporation shoving poison down people's throats'. There are tons of 'wholesome' professions out there that provide a positive.
You are physically fit? Go be a personal trainer and help obese people lose weight so they can live longer, maybe live long enough to see their grandchildren grow up.
Or go be a firefighter. They don't give vaccines, mostly made up of volunteers, and give people a second chance at life.
Or you could be a plumber and be responsible for all the sewers not getting backed up, causing a huge shit to flow down the streets of the city making everyone sick and bringing back the bubonic plague.
There are literally millions of things you could do besides wallowing in self pity and crying that some people are rich and the fact you gotta buy food and pay for your housing.
I ask again, how should the world work? Free food and shelter and no one works ever?
-------------------- Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.
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Supachopped719
Stranger


Registered: 10/16/13
Posts: 3,311
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
#21942100 - 07/14/15 01:41 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Deathcore said: do animals use money? they make it just fine.. but if a human lives like an animal he gets locked into a cage or padded room and force medicated.
the resources are out there for every one on earth to have free power/energy, food, and happiness..
eat the rich to feed the poor
if everyone got all that for free, who would pay for it?
-------------------- Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.
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Mycophile
Assimilated

Registered: 11/09/08
Posts: 208
Loc: Sector 001
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Soul-Shine]
#21942114 - 07/14/15 01:44 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Soul-Shine said: Why not get a job on a cruise ship, or something of the ilk, and go see the world? Maybe getting out of your environment will be the recharge that you're seeking. It seems that you view the "normal" existence as contrived, so discover how other people round the globe live. You can do anything if you put your mind to it.
yeah, this too. I assume you're in USA. a lot of these feelings come with the territory of living here. there is other shit going on in the world. other standards of living, and cultures that share your values more closley
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RESISTANCE IS FUTILE My records for your prints
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Jimmyhunter1000
That guy.



Registered: 06/15/12
Posts: 777
Loc: Massachusetts, USA.
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Mycophile]
#21943041 - 07/14/15 05:28 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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You could always work for a local town's Department of Public works. I recently started doing that and now I work all week as a gardener/public field tender. Doing something you can look back at and enjoy gives a really good feeling of accomplishment as well as making a decent living wage after you work on getting both your Class B and even your class A. My town will even let their DPW workers use their trucks for the tests so you're only paying for the driving test.
Heck even getting a job anywhere would help you out.
-------------------- There isn't a trail too long or too wide.
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Nah bro you're just gonna be planting flowers for the man.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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MagicInMichigan
Internal conquistador



Registered: 07/07/15
Posts: 138
Loc: Michigan,U.S.A.
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
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Society has nothing to offer... Except forums to vent on and have people try to help you. Yes being a slave for the man sucks fucking cock 100%. The bar I work at is owned by two amazingly caring and community oriented people here and they have been with my through all my fucked up issues and stood by me seeing through the evil I had become. I was very lucky to have them as my family and friends had completely abandoned me, or better yet me them.
I'll give you the point that most people are just interested in what you have not who you are, I don't have too many friends as I trust almost no one. But the 10 or so people I have let in my life after extensive bullshit I fed myself and them and they still suck around and truly do care about me and not what I have or do.
There are still some good people out there! They are just very hard to findAll you need is one truly great friend or and amazing significant other and it will change your life. When someone continues to care about you when you yourself do not and treat them like shit it will wake you up and help you change to try and make them happy how they do to you. Also not all psych meds will fuck up your liver, there are vitamins and natural herbs you can take for depression, google it.
Sorry if my positivity seems unrealistic for your situation, but I was way worse off, doing way worse things, making way less money, living in alleys in Detroit robbing people for dope. Not even to get high, just to be able to function. It sound like you could really be depressed and even simple wellbutrin would help with that and do minimal damage. I was on a few things for a year or two until I finally started enjoying life and gradually weened off them and live normal now and just smoke pot and trip. I tripped once a weep for 4 months when I initially got clean and it opened my eyes to the world and made it damn near impossible to be down on myself.
Social and economical slavery is a real thing, you can overcome it, but even if you do with the attitude you have it would be hard to be happy even if you were a millionaire. I know a few people in the city who work at /shitty min wage jobs and share one bedroom apartments 5 and 6 ways but they have a roof over their heads and they find the joy in life without spending a dime besides on essentials. Get healthy, get fit, feel better physically and it will help you become more positive and feel better emotionally.
For one day stop every negative thought you have once it starts and say no negative thing out loud and push yourself to see the beauty in internal freedom and freedom of expression. It may never be true freedom but it will help change your perspective. I wish you all the best, I only keep posting because me at 25 sounded exactly the same and I don't anymore.
If you believe the world wants you unhappy, you will be. I just don't understand anymore how anyone could let the most corrupt & selfish society in a long time make them feel exactly how they want you to feel...like SHIT. By being unhappy you are letting them win. Don't ever let any mother fucker or group of mother fuckers break you. Financially they can ruin you, but they can't ruin your will if you are strong willed enough.
Kick the socioeconomic slave societies ass kid. Be happy when everything is stacked against you and you will be extremely happy when something goes your way. just but I'd be saying and grabbing the world by its saggy ol' scrotum and twisting that thing it it taps out and gives me what I want.
-MIM
-------------------- “the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.” I surround myself with people who aren't afraid to live. They have had what they love most taken from them, be it freedom, love, money, or anything for that matter. When you lose your greatest love you also lose your greatest fear, when that happens you are completely and utterly free.
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Mr. Gilligan
Wanderer

Registered: 07/13/15
Posts: 230
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
#21946660 - 07/15/15 10:23 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Deathcore said:
Quote:
Malcolm_Xtasy said: Go see a shrink
shrinks get paid to pretend to care.
the drugs they offer only dumb down and screw up the heart and liver. no thank you
I highly recommend talking to a therapist and telling them specifically you are not interested in any medication. I hit a spot several years ago and went to 8 sessions and it was, looking back, one of the best things i have ever done. I was on Benzos before that and just having a rough time. I was fed up with my job and who i was helping and some things you have mentioned. I am now in my 2nd yr as a teacher, i am in grad school, and i have never been happier despite the fact i make less money. I actually am able to save more and am fairly healthy now. They seem to help you find the root cause of issues that i was masking. Talk these issues out and help you understand.
I agree with the way several people put it, that you have waken up, and seen a lot of things quickly. I think the same type thing happened to me. The thing that finally got me over the fear of changing my comfortable life was a huge psychedelic trip at the LOCKN festival.
Find something you like to do, a skill, and make it on your own. Volunteer and help society go forward. There is a lot of good out there, the problem is it gets overshadowed by the bad. You have to start looking through a new lens.
Mediation and being mindful of every action is huge as well. You are capable of many small actions that can help a greater cause. Plant seeds wherever you can and watch how they grow.
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DiscoBiscuitsTrip


Registered: 06/05/10
Posts: 1,422
Loc: FL
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Mr. Gilligan]
#21947410 - 07/15/15 01:33 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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You sound like a glass half empty kinda guy.
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