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Deathcore
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Registered: 06/08/13
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Acid and Shrooms fucked me up
#21933212 - 07/12/15 12:06 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Its like a filter has been put over my brain and my processes are plastic like... Everything I look at doesnt glow as much as it once did, everything internally seems weird.. Like If i simply had proof I even exist and that others existed id be fine. I often feel like im just talking to myself and this is all an illusion...
Im also thinking maybe my brain chemistry is changing just for getting older.. ill be 25 this month.. things in general feel different.. a quarter or more of my life is gone and ive gained nothing. just a medal from a marathon i did... but its not good enough.. money isnt something i want to pursue... people are phony...
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RR42013
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Registered: 07/03/13
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
#21933244 - 07/12/15 12:11 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I've ate a lot of acid and mushrooms over my life and I'm fine. I'm pushing 30 and life is swell me and my woman are about to buy a house. I just tripped face last week
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sarahnya
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: RR42013]
#21933266 - 07/12/15 12:17 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I think life is about experiences and you've got a whole lot of time let. Maybe take a break from the Phychs and try some new things just for the hell of it (not drugs lol).
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Deathcore
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: sarahnya]
#21933279 - 07/12/15 12:20 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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been weed and psych free for a few months
i still feel like i opened doors that cant be closed
without money u cant do shit but i hate money
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twelvelookslikeu
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore] 1
#21933389 - 07/12/15 12:44 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Depression
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drr

Registered: 05/20/09
Posts: 8,444
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
#21933425 - 07/12/15 12:54 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Deathcore said: Its like a filter has been put over my brain and my processes are plastic like... Everything I look at doesnt glow as much as it once did, everything internally seems weird.. Like If i simply had proof I even exist and that others existed id be fine. I often feel like im just talking to myself and this is all an illusion...
Im also thinking maybe my brain chemistry is changing just for getting older.. ill be 25 this month.. things in general feel different.. a quarter or more of my life is gone and ive gained nothing. just a medal from a marathon i did... but its not good enough.. money isnt something i want to pursue... people are phony...
Careful
You're 25
Mental illness usually surfaces around this point in a person's life
Stop using psychedelics for at least a year or two, for real. Get back in touch with reality.
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Svyx
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
#21933449 - 07/12/15 01:01 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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If it's any consolation, my brother, also 25 and diagnosed with manic depression, felt the same way the past few days. He was almost convinced he was dead and almost wasn't convinced any of this [life] was real. I'm 24 myself but haven't experienced this. I've been on countless mushroom, LSA, and DMT (oral and smoked) journeys within the past 8 months when psychedelics were first introduced to me, mushrooms being the first plant teacher in which I encountered. He had a few encounters with psychedelics himself over the past half year, but recently dove in a little more and quicker than usual.
When we're born, our perception of reality is heavily molded by society, family, friends, etc., and then it inevitably changes as we go through life. I feel psychedelics most definitely "catalyze" the change in said perception, more so to what YOU feel is best for YOURSELF, and maybe those realizations go against everything you've been learning for 25 years. They dissolve barriers, boundaries, constructs, man-made things. Maybe you start to realize everything man-made is what you really don't want, and if that's what you have been working for for nearly 25 years, it may leave you feeling like you have to "start over" (Basically relearning what makes you happy, how people act, what's important in life, etc.).
I don't know. Just a guessing whim here. My brother and I had a pleasant trip a couple of days ago (3g Syrian rue and 1.7g mush), but then yesterday he began feeling this way. We talked everything out, and he is starting to accept that change (altered perception of everything he knew) for the better.
I honestly hope you find your path again and find the excitement and fulfillment of life and nature!
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psilocybinjunkie
relaxin



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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Svyx] 1
#21933710 - 07/12/15 02:22 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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You sound depressed about your low income and lack of goals in life. Try putting your energy into helping others instead of feeling sorry for yourself after taking acid and shrooms. Stop getting high and start doing something with your life and for others and you'll feel better. Sitting here casting blame on a few trips for your sense of self pity isn't really legit. You are 24 go out there and do better things with your time instead of saying poor me and giving yourself perpetual mindfuck. I am quite a bit older than you and have tripped hundreds of times, possibly more than that and I don't cast blame on my trips for my personal problems or life.
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Deathcore
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Registered: 06/08/13
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thanks guys..
im not upset about my lack of income. im upset that money is what makes the world go round. people's personalities are stemmed upon there love for money..
i remember this episode of full house where michelle (olson twins) were upset there familys rich friends daughter wouldnt let her play her game gear (hand held sega console from the early 90s) lmao... honestly, that console is worth $3 or less here in 2015 but that's not the point.
people only care about gadgets, materialism, status, fame, etc.. NOT personality... personality to them is how much money and things you have.. period..
women only care about money, they trade wallets all the time via cheating and what not. everybody is a user and an abuser in one way shape or form and in many cases..more than one way shape or form.
I didnt really think about that during my teenage years but once i hit 20 things started to click...
kids are acting like bigger spoiled brats since the kids of my generation... there is much more tyranny and corruption.. in this world everything is ass backwards.. up is down, down is up, bad is good, good is bad, real is fake, and fake is real... makeup and implants would be an example...
fat people getting fatter, dumb people getting dumber, sluts being sluttier, because men get bored easier now a days so women have to do more to get paid...
life is a joke but thats why i feel crazy because this reality IS here and its a joke..
its not even just my perspective, its the way it IS..
the 1% elite control the 99% and of you dont agree well the mind control has taken you over to far and there is no going back..
society has nothing to offer me.. i can read between the lines... Everything is dull.. i wont be happy until the tyranny and corruption stops..and thatll never happen... so i wont he happy till im dead... so i can escape all of this... this freaking joke people worship... the almight dollar...
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sarahnya
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
#21935487 - 07/12/15 10:47 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I think this is just an after effect of "waking up". It may have nothing to do with the phychs, it's probably more to do with you maturing and seeing how the world sadly works.
Try to focus on the positive things there are in life (not everyone is that bad, there are a lot of sheep but try to give them a nudge in the right durection) and compartmentalise the bad thoughts or feelings.
Sure you need money to live but it doesn't have to be a domineering factor in your life.
I totally understand where you are coming from. Personally I went through something similar before I'd even encountered phychs. You just have to find your feet again and learn that it's sink or swim in this current age. Sure it's good to care about these things but find a balance and don't allow them to drag you down.
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lfds2pid
Lone woof


Registered: 02/26/15
Posts: 49
Loc: Earth
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: sarahnya]
#21935577 - 07/12/15 11:25 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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sarahnya is right... this sounds like a side-effect of rapid maturation. I have seen this happen when a person "sees a lot of shit in a short amount of time."
It's a new thing, people are having their mid-life crises younger and younger. After trauma, like a life-threatening situation or loss of a person with whom one was emotionally involved, people frequently experience a sense of unreality or a disconnect from the senses. Some people say marijuana helps with that (what doesn't it help with?)
If you want to read something that might... advance your perspective... Why do you need proof that you or anything else is real?
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lfds2pid
Lone woof


Registered: 02/26/15
Posts: 49
Loc: Earth
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
#21935603 - 07/12/15 11:35 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Deathcore said: ...a quarter or more of my life is gone and ive gained nothing. just a medal from a marathon i did... but its not good enough.. money isnt something i want to pursue... people are phony...
Reading this, I think you want to learn. Maybe you can learn a skill that you can make some money with. Obviously, you need money to live in society, unless you inherited a farm with the tax paid up for your lifetime or something, and you seem to be dissatisfied with your current level of accomplishment. You mention the medal from the marathon as something that you have gained, but you say "just a medal" like running a marathon is not an amazing accomplishment, so that makes me thing you're expressing your wish for more evidence of accomplishment, but maybe you would find mental accomplishment more satisfying.
Do you like art? I infer from your writing that you would enjoy bringing awe to those around you with some kind of art.
Good luck!
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LiquidVisions
Consumes Psychoactive Material



Registered: 01/20/15
Posts: 1,070
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: lfds2pid]
#21935619 - 07/12/15 11:42 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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For me its the exact opposite the only thing that I can say is that it gets weird in my head sometimes but other than that everything is colorful and is pretty awesome. I even learned to embrace the weirdness in my head it makes me laugh and its pretty entertaining. I also think that life is a vivid dream that we all are going through so I shouldn't take it too seriously, but I want to make this the best dream possible. Another annoying thing is that I can't stop seeing us as apes really. I can't see past the fact that we are all animals and in a way its rewarding but I can't conform to anything anymore, but then again society is bullshit.
-------------------- Step 1: Stare at this for 30 seconds
Step 2: Look at this after following step one
Step 3: Enjoy the mini trip
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lfds2pid
Lone woof


Registered: 02/26/15
Posts: 49
Loc: Earth
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Quote:
LiquidVisions said: For me its the exact opposite the only thing that I can say is that it gets weird in my head sometimes but other than that everything is colorful and is pretty awesome. I even learned to embrace the weirdness in my head it makes me laugh and its pretty entertaining. I also think that life is a vivid dream that we all are going through so I shouldn't take it too seriously, but I want to make this the best dream possible. Another annoying thing is that I can't stop seeing us as apes really. I can't see past the fact that we are all animals and in a way its rewarding but I can't conform to anything anymore, but then again society is bullshit.
Everybody's different, but people are all the same.
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LiquidVisions
Consumes Psychoactive Material



Registered: 01/20/15
Posts: 1,070
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: lfds2pid]
#21935653 - 07/12/15 11:51 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Yea I understand that just thought I'd share how psychedelics affected my life.
EDIT: When you mess with mind altering substances an then experience a psychological change its easy to blame the drug. People search for answers in things they don't understand to make things easier but in actuality it leads to self blame which isn't right. That is another reason I posted my experience. Maybe it would help OP reconsider and keep searching for the reason he feels this way.
-------------------- Step 1: Stare at this for 30 seconds
Step 2: Look at this after following step one
Step 3: Enjoy the mini trip
Edited by LiquidVisions (07/12/15 11:56 PM)
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topherchris
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Registered: 10/09/13
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Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
#21936377 - 07/13/15 08:28 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Sounds to me like he woke the F up LOL!
Welcome to reality. You actually pass this point, to something even worse than you are now. Where you critique yourself constantly. It's better/worse.
I've passed that point as well. Now I'm working on mindlessness and not judging people. Any time I look at someone and say "fat, slutty, greedy", I instantly feel guilty for judging them.
Now... I'm just about at the point where I'm convinced I don't want to live on this planet anymore. Actually I'm beyond that point... Anyway, it's borderline suicidal. There's really NOWHERE on this planet you can go to be FREE and actually LIVE a decent life without fighting the elements every day (snow, bears, etc).
It sucks... But is it better to live as the fat rich slutty person, or better to be awakened? Pick up meditation if you haven't, yet. Learn to clear your mind. It's actually difficult for most. Try to see around all the garbage on this planet and live in the NOW... Try to see every moment as a miracle and a blessing. Look at the extremely intelligent relationship between everything on this planet. Trees and us, flowers and bees, the sun and the planet.
You'll get around this. I promise.
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Deathcore
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: topherchris]
#21936574 - 07/13/15 09:43 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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ill respond to all of your messages later on but to make a summary, I have no family to support me, I have no degree, only a high school education, im not fit for the military, i kicked myself out at 18 and have to many tattoos on my arms and holes in my ears and my mental background wouldn't allow me in a second time. plus waking up only made me realize the military is evil anyway in all angles. I dont wanna waste my life for slave wages either.
What I meant about my medal is, I did it a little over 3 hours, next year i wanna do it under 3 hours like a 2:45 or faster, and I know what to do to achieve that but I would need fast money to afford even better nutrition and perfect sleep patterns.. Not working while trying to do it... Time doesnt pause for me to get enough money and enough rest... And again I have no family support.
But in my mind its telling me my dealt cards are a losing hand and to accept being a loser and thats it. I wasnt born with a silver spoon up my ass like many musicians, actors, etc... Everything was passed down to them and they just get to live it up...
The small percentage that doesn't sold there soul to achieve there fame and fortune, doing sick acts to get into the club house and what not.. politicians aswell. mostly are pedophiles... and they use that as dirt for the future if they dont comply... even Jared from subway just got into child porn...
Money is the root to all evil.. I believe that.. But its hard to live without it...lots and lots if it..
Unless you live homeless and trade your skills fir food but society is being more and more cruel to the homeless.. thats why they rob and steal...
If you dont want to comply and conform they put you in a padded room or behind bars..
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Supachopped719
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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
#21936797 - 07/13/15 10:58 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I don't think it was the acid and shrooms that made you think all the politicians and celebrities are pedos. I think it was reading conspiracy theories on the Internet.
Yea money makes the world go round, big whoop, wanna cry about it? Money for us workin folks represents how much someone worked.
you want to eat? Food costs money, because no one is gonna farm food and then give it away for free. They want money to show for their work so they can pay their bills.
You want toilet paper right? Well for that to happen, some people have to go way out into the forest, cut down some trees, then haul those heavy ass trees all the way back to civilization to be sent through a processing plant. Where even more people run all these machines to turn the wood into toilet paper. Then they put them on trucks so yet another group of people transport the TP all over the nation to stores where more people have to stock and sell the toilet paper to you.
You have to spend money for that toilet paper, because somehow all those people involved in bringing the TP to you have to eat food. They aren't gonna do all that for free. You have to work to get money so you can trade that money for that tiolet paper. So in a big round about way you are just trading your work for their work.
-------------------- Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



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Re: Acid and Shrooms fucked me up [Re: Deathcore]
#21936990 - 07/13/15 11:53 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Maybe join a commune op....you seem perfect for the part. Look dude...no-one is telling you to embrace currency, you just have to accept it. It is what we use as barter primarily in this society. Yeah, It sucks that some have to work less to gain more, but that is the way it goes. Ps junkie gave you he solution...get out of your head and try doing something for someone else without expecting something back. There are tons of less fortunates out there than you.
I ran a 3:13 marathon in the 80's...10 years later I needed a hip replacement...no more marathons for me..but ya can't just cry about it...gotta keep moving forward. You don't have to be a dick to make money...just work hard...try that too. If you can run a marathon you certainly have the work ethic to achieve your goal..
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Deathcore
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my goal is to be as fit as possible. If i was born into a rice family id be able to do it. But having to work to get the money for the food takes away from the time i have to work out and it ruins routine and sleep patterns.
I could just be a drug dealer or criminal but I have morals that dont allow me to do it. I thought about being a gay escort after reading about some London dude making 500 grand a year.. but again... i hate money... im stuck in a rut... and ill blink and be 50 years old.. half way done with my life..
i dont think ill need a hip replacement... there are 60 year old marathon runners.. i eat healthy and stay active. i dont smoke or do drugs... the odds of me having to get surgery or anything or slim...
ill probably die of stess if anything.. or martial law.. or both
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