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Shroom Kitty
Im just a kitty


Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 553
Loc: Earth Realm
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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it hurt as a child. ..
#21927317 - 07/11/15 03:40 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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pretty much sums up how I feel about my father
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 30 minutes, 38 seconds
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Your dad raped you?
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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Shroom Kitty
Im just a kitty


Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 553
Loc: Earth Realm
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: it hurt as a child. .. [Re: Shroomslip]
#21927330 - 07/11/15 03:47 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Not physically but emotionally . If that makes sense. My dad is a piece of shit who broke my leg with a golf club when I was 16..just givea you an idea of who we are talking about here
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Shroom Kitty
Im just a kitty


Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 553
Loc: Earth Realm
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: it hurt as a child. .. [Re: Shroomslip]
#21927338 - 07/11/15 03:50 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Im all fucked up from his abuse . It makes me want to beat him with a baseball bat until he quits moving
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Atreyu
Never Ending


Registered: 03/18/14
Posts: 4,083
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Thats fucked up.
Here, Feels this.
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つ ◕_◕ ༽つ N = R* • fp • ne • fl • fi • fc • L
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 30 minutes, 38 seconds
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For the song I have to say, I know Jonathon has said repeatedly it was not either of his parents that did the raping, but the line "raped your own child" kinda makes that hard to believe, and the fact that the song points to the mom seeing/knowing what was happening but not doing anything, leaves only the father. Personally I think he wrote some shit that really spoke to him and after Korn blew up, his father pressured him into saying it wasn't his parents.
As for the daddy issues. I have my own. My dad's a piece of shit too. I could write you a page on all the fucked up shit he's done and how he destroyed my life and we've maybe spent a month or two total of my almost now 30 years together. It is hard, fuck that, almost impossible to be that big of a piece of shit while simultaneously practically never even being there in the first place. You have to be some kind of super asshole to accomplish that, and he is.
Here's the song I dedicate to my father:
I have nothing but hate for him. I would cross the country, in a zombie apocalypse, on foot, just to get my vengeance. People throw around the word hate a lot, but I don't think many really understand the depth that is true hate. I do.
Edited by Shroomslip (07/11/15 04:00 AM)
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Shroom Kitty
Im just a kitty


Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 553
Loc: Earth Realm
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: it hurt as a child. .. [Re: Shroomslip]
#21927357 - 07/11/15 04:00 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Yea I feel ya. Im the middle of my three brothers . He never touched them. Iremember going to third grade class with welps on my neck and arms from the vacuum cleaner cord he wipped me with. I wants forgot a water jug at football practice when I was 8 years old and he was so pissed about it that we go back out there and it was gone. on the way home he kept hitting me in the face making my nose bleed over and over and over. the next day the head coach returned it to me. and my young mind I was so excited to show my dad that I hadn't lost it. I took it to him and he just didn't give a shit. sorry for the fucked up thread but sometimes it feels good to talk about this shit you know
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mindbodysoul
the fertile


Registered: 03/10/14
Posts: 912
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holy shit ur father is an ass
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 30 minutes, 38 seconds
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Well you're not alone if it matters. I am a forgiving person, even though I can hold a grudge for years there is always room for forgiveness in me. My uncle tried to kill me and I had even forgiven him (he's back to being the same asshole, but I tried to put the past in the past and move on). I feel pretty much anyone can be redeemed, all they need to do is demonstrate they want to be.
Not my father. It sucks to hold such hatred in your heart, but some things you just can't forgive or forget. Some things hurt so bad and drive you to such a level of hate, that it will never leave you.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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Shroom Kitty
Im just a kitty


Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 553
Loc: Earth Realm
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: it hurt as a child. .. [Re: Shroomslip]
#21927387 - 07/11/15 04:14 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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All I need is apology and a reason why. ... then I could forgive him. ... and that's not gonna happen. So fuck em. .
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 30 minutes, 38 seconds
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Good luck with that shit. I tried to get a reason why.. Instead of "things didn't work out how I wanted" or some generic bullshit, he went on attack and made things personal and turned it all around on me. That was about the point where I vowed if anarchy ever went into effect I'd stop at nothing to hunt him down and make him die, painfully.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he didn't raise me. My brother's weren't so lucky. My youngest got beaten practically every day, many broken bones (and I don't mean fingers). Got thrown through a wall once, while he was about 8. He got backhanded with a closed fist as hard as my dad could do it because my dad burned a hole in his seat with a cigarette my dad dropped. There was also sexual abuse. Either it was my dad or a friend of my dad and he knew it was going on. Could never get a straight answer out of them about it. This doesn't even cover 1% of all he's done to make the ENTIRE family disown him and hate him.
But not being raised by him didn't really spare me. I got the concentrated evil, because he of course had to make up for lost time.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
Edited by Shroomslip (07/11/15 04:22 AM)
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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damn i think you're a better person than me OP cuz if someone did all that stuff to me i'd probably literally murder them
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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