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Ratatat4ever
Stranger
Registered: 07/08/15
Posts: 2
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
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Mental illness + Magic truffles(psliocybin 15g) + abilify + maoi 300mg (moclobemide)
#21914740 - 07/08/15 12:17 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Disclaimer: I don't advise doing what I did. But here is the story for anyone who is in a similar sort of situation.
Don't know wether this is a trip report or a confession. Will be a mixture of both.
Have had 4 episodes of psychosis, doctor doesn't want to diagnose me just yet. My Aunty has schizophrenia but my feeling for me is he doesn't want to jump to conclusions. But I am pretty sure I have it. Let's get to the story with a little more background.
Currently travelling overseas, solo, have been for the past couple of weeks. Had plenty of people around me but mostly can't connect with them anyway; so while I have conversations here and there they are pretty lifeless. Generally I actually want to talk to others but can't actually do it, rather strange I think anyway. Having thoughts of suicide. Currently prescribed 300mg moclobemide, 10mg abilify and 2.5 olanzapine( although I stopped olanzapine 3 days before this trip) Anyway lets get to the story.
Get to Amsterdam. Buy magic truffles, pop 300mg moclobemide (reversible MAOI) and then consume 15g psliocybe Magic truffles 20 minutes later (note: I believe with regular mushrooms you only need 2g for a trip, magic truffles are different). Don't feel much, walk around a bit listining to ratatat. Tending to smile a whole lot more at things; people kissing, people holding hands, a little girl chasing birds; I had the feeling that I was the one who caused all this happiness in the world slightly, that I did my part in a way. (Which now makes me feel like I should kill myself, but maybe I shouldn't, perhaps I have more parts to play )
No real psychotic thoughts, nothing that change from my regular psychotic thought range which are instantly dismissed if they do come up.( while on I've been on meds)
No visuals at all, time seemed like it went on longer than what it was and I think this was added to the fact that I was listening to long instrumental songs. for a brief moment once there was morphing on an object; But that quickly went away. Around 2.5 hours in I start to feel very anxious and funny, like almost uncontrollable. Shit I am saying, this is why they tell you not to take drugs while on a psychedelics. It Further damages your illness so In a panic I dosed a rather large bit of olanzapine and my normal dose of abilify and a couple of Valium.
I then calm down and start realising some truth from this experience... The connection with my mother has deteriorated, we just don't communicate anymore; I actually am sick and need attention, I'm not just psychotic, I've accepted that and But have not accepted the depression side of things. I really don't feel good with myself, not happy with myself. I realise I need to communicate with my doctor and everyone around me more. I'm too disconnected from society, I realise that me wanting to do drugs isn't going to help my illness and make me the same fun and outgoing person before having psychosis. Psychoactive drugs are not the answer for me I say. After all these epiphanies I feel much better.
I text tell my mum, that "we need to bond more" and she replies back, "I miss you too." I go back to the hotel room, and crash deep asleep on the bed.
Post trip: Strangely post having psychosis and taking psychoactive drugs I don't know wether to say it was good or bad, Maybe it's a good thing as long as you continue to take your prescribed meds from the doctor... or maybe it will just make things worse and slowly over time you'll need to increase your medication if you continue to trip.
I feel a little sluggish and a little dummer to be honest. When you do have an psychotic episode your cognitive abilities do take a hit so maybe that's what happened to me from this experience.
But I also I have the feeling that I should maybe do them again because of the fact I realised certain things, that means I can open my mind MORE.... But "open my mind up to what!!?" I answer to myself sternly. There is nothing to find. I have already realised I have depression. One step at a time I guess. Fix that first
But how?
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Hygrocybe
Walkin Wonderland



Registered: 06/06/09
Posts: 1,227
Last seen: 4 months, 30 days
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Re: Mental illness + Magic truffles(psliocybin 15g) + abilify + maoi 300mg (moclobemide) [Re: Ratatat4ever]
#21915029 - 07/08/15 01:23 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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You're unhappy because you've disengaged from people, that's what I took to be the message from the trip.
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jesuisravi
The Old Noob


Registered: 06/24/15
Posts: 260
Loc: Midwest USA
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Re: Mental illness + Magic truffles(psliocybin 15g) + abilify + maoi 300mg (moclobemide) [Re: Hygrocybe]
#21915703 - 07/08/15 03:59 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I think you are right in thinking these drugs are not for you, not in your present state of mental disarray. Wait until you have sorted things out--or until things sort themselves out, which they tend to do if you live long enough. You will have plenty of time later to experiment with these substances.
-------------------- Most of my beliefs I acquired from my father and from John Wayne, and anything that wasn't ultra tough and ultra cool was to me ultra embarrassing. In fact, I lived in a state of near continuous embarrassment, never measuring up to the ridiculous standards I had accepted without question, applied to a framework of expectations neither I nor anyone else could meet.--J C Amberchele almost nothing important that ever happens to you happens because you engineer it. Destiny has no beeper; destiny always leans trenchcoated out of an alley with some sort of 'psst' that you usually can't even hear because you're in such a rush to or from something important you've tried to engineer. ” ― David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest
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Aldebaran
Psilo-Scribe



Registered: 11/26/09
Posts: 1,323
Loc: Altered States of Europe
Last seen: 2 hours, 20 minutes
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Re: Mental illness + Magic truffles(psliocybin 15g) + abilify + maoi 300mg (moclobemide) [Re: Ratatat4ever]
#21915977 - 07/08/15 05:05 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Strangely post having psychosis and taking psychoactive drugs I don't know wether to say it was good or bad, Maybe it's a good thing as long as you continue to take your prescribed meds from the doctor... or maybe it will just make things worse and slowly over time you'll need to increase your medication if you continue to trip.
I think you can get both positive and negative effects......it's something which is unpredictable and is going to vary from person to person and situation to situation.
My main concern with tripping + psychosis is that at stronger doses these "realizations" can develop into delusions, which potentially could push a borderline condition into a full-on psychotic episode.
It's good that your experience made you realize some things about your life. You seem to be self-aware and to have some good insight into your condition. If you are able to travel overseas solo that must be a good sign that you are getting appropriate treatment.
-------------------- I wrote that, but I meant something else
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oontribe

Registered: 01/14/15
Posts: 3,570
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Re: Mental illness + Magic truffles(psliocybin 15g) + abilify + maoi 300mg (moclobemide) [Re: Aldebaran]
#21916063 - 07/08/15 05:23 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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and some of those drugs interacts with each other dumping an effect and amplifying another and they can be fatal...do your search before taking anything search how those things interact with your medicines (abilify can be used as a trip killer for example "also not sure about it but make your research")...good luck.
Edited by oontribe (07/08/15 05:32 PM)
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Ratatat4ever
Stranger
Registered: 07/08/15
Posts: 2
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
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Re: Mental illness + Magic truffles(psliocybin 15g) + abilify + maoi 300mg (moclobemide) [Re: oontribe]
#21923700 - 07/10/15 09:07 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Thanks all!
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voodoochild1000
psychonautic



Registered: 02/04/15
Posts: 2,531
Loc: Cascades!
Last seen: 8 months, 16 days
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Re: Mental illness + Magic truffles(psliocybin 15g) + abilify + maoi 300mg (moclobemide) [Re: Ratatat4ever]
#21923735 - 07/10/15 09:17 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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U shouldn't do psychs....imho
-------------------- ....."So Great!"....-Me on 1.5mg LSD ...."We don't need this" -Larkin in response to my "just picked wild LSD!" post
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ZombieMode
Stranger


Registered: 07/12/15
Posts: 14
Loc: Australia
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
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Re: Mental illness + Magic truffles(psliocybin 15g) + abilify + maoi 300mg (moclobemide) [Re: voodoochild1000]
#21954548 - 07/17/15 01:15 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I can relate to this, took 2g psilocybin mushrooms whilst on a 400mg depot of abilify, which had little effect. feel as though the abilify has blocked visuals and definitely weakened the effects of shrooms.
i was diagnosed with scizophrenia but feel and know i was hearing guardian angel voices/spiritual insights. doctor has since changed my diagnosis to drug-induced psychosis.
wish you well bro and a speedy recovery, I too am re-connecting with my mum which i feel the shrooms guided me towards doing.
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mothamaruti
Stranger

Registered: 09/03/12
Posts: 54
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
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Re: Mental illness + Magic truffles(psliocybin 15g) + abilify + maoi 300mg (moclobemide) [Re: ZombieMode]
#21959922 - 07/18/15 10:26 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I was diagnosed with bipolar as well, drug induced and have almost recovered after 5 years. I abstained from drugs for 5 years and thought they'd help me out recently, so I did 2 mdma trips spaced apart and healed immensely on them. 90 percent of my 1st trip and 100 percent of my 2nd trip was happy and lovey dovey.
My experience with mdma was extremely therapeutic and healing, I show no signs of psychosis after that, and actually am much better after my trips.
You should try some mdma next time
Link to my thread
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/21764678/fpart/all/vc/1
Edited by mothamaruti (07/18/15 10:28 AM)
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