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OfflineShroomslip
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Registered: 11/25/12
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And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... * 1
    #21903220 - 07/05/15 10:44 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Man shoots off firework from top of his head, dies instantly

CALAIS, Maine (AP) — A 22-year-old man who was drinking and celebrating the Fourth of July tried to launch a firework off the top of his head, killing him instantly, authorities said Sunday.

Devon Staples and his friends had been drinking and setting off fireworks Saturday night in the backyard of a friend's home in eastern Maine, said Stephen McCausland, a spokesman for the state Department of Public Safety.

Staples, 22, of Calais, a small city on the Canadian border, placed a reloadable fireworks mortar tube on his head and told his friends he was going to light it, McCausland said. But his friends urged him to stop.

"Apparently, he thought that was a great idea," McCausland said. "His friends they thought dissuaded him from doing it, and the next thing they knew, he ignited the fireworks and he was killed instantly."

Staples's brother Cody told the Daily News of New York that he was a few feet away when his brother lit the firework and was the first to come to his side after it exploded.

"There was no rushing him to the hospital. There was no Devon left when I got there," said 25-year-old Cody Staples, who called it an accident.

"Devon was not the kind of person who would do something stupid. He was the kind of person who would pretend to do something stupid to make people laugh," he said.



http://news.yahoo.com/police-man-shoots-off-firework-top-head-dies-135937499.html

How damn stupid do you have to be?


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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InvisibleShiithead
Your Huckleberry
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Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21903327 - 07/05/15 11:08 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

"You can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug."


--------------------

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


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OfflineD.M.T
Shroomery Contaminant
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Registered: 10/31/09
Posts: 10,991
Loc: In your brain
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Shroomslip] * 1
    #21903350 - 07/05/15 11:14 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

My friend could have been a close second. He was very drunk and high and had some Roman Candles he was gonna light. Motherfucker thought you light the wick end and it comes out the other. He had pointed right at his face and was gonna light it until I was like, "yo, yo, yo dude you're about to shoot yourself" :facepalm:


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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
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Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21903354 - 07/05/15 11:15 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

alcohol bro..

such a sad story..

im wondering how it happened exactly tho..


--------------------
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InvisibleGottaloveacid
Weedbass
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Registered: 10/20/14
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Loc: Colorado, USA
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Shroomslip] * 1
    #21903686 - 07/06/15 12:32 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Shit instantly killed

That would be a sight to see, shit

good 'ol alcohol


--------------------
   
:mushroom2::mushroom2: The greatest story ever told is the story that never ends!:mushroom2::mushroom2:

wubba lubba dub dubstep :gimmebass:


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OfflineGorlax
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Registered: 05/06/08
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Gottaloveacid]
    #21903788 - 07/06/15 01:31 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Yah i read this shit and was like "Mortar on top of head, instantly killed".. Must have been pretty gnarly one. Shitty way to go out... alcohol makes you retarded but it is enjoyable.


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OfflineGiftofdeprivation
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Registered: 07/20/13
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Shroomslip] * 2
    #21903948 - 07/06/15 03:34 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

"There was no Devon left when I got there,"





Haha, and I was like, who reports this? Gotta be fake. Nope! And here's why it's being reported:
"Officials say this is the first death attributed to fireworks since Maine legalized them two years ago" (USAtoday.com) Ah-yup... fun facts.


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Edited by Giftofdeprivation (07/06/15 03:36 AM)


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Giftofdeprivation]
    #21903953 - 07/06/15 03:42 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

This story sounds a bit fishy.

Maybe if he put the shell in upside down or held the mortar upside down but.. A normal small diameter mortar gives a good thump lifting off but nothing that would crack the skull. A large diameter mortar would be way too big to hold on your head and light.

This is one for the mythbusters.


--------------------
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higher knowledge starts here


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OfflineGiftofdeprivation
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Asante]
    #21903974 - 07/06/15 04:07 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

We could do the math here if it's right-side-up: how much does a shell weigh? Maybe a pound for a quad shot, tops? multiplied by delivery height (about 300-400ft) = about 300 ft. lbs? Google says it's 1,000 ft lbs. to "ethically" kill a rabbit. 300 Transferred to the tube, then to his head... Probably not lethal. It's on a lot of decent (albeit secondary or further) resources though, who knows?

Reminds me of all the scabbed dog feet horror pics on facebook. They're 100% fake pics, but people still argue that it could happen, so it A) must be true or B) is therefore worth spreading false news...


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Edited by Giftofdeprivation (07/06/15 04:08 AM)


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Giftofdeprivation]
    #21903977 - 07/06/15 04:11 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I think the accident happened but was due to an upside down shell, but they are omitting to say that to put the blame on the recently legalized fireworks, not the poor sap who got killed.

They do that with drugs too, as well as with firearms.

Its a political agenda to get stuff banned.


And a pound? no way he put that big a tube on his head, more like an 1.5-2 inch mortar so several ounces at most.


--------------------
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Invisiblevinsue
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Registered: 02/17/04
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Asante]
    #21903981 - 07/06/15 04:16 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

This guy's probably wishing he was :dead:
He may have just lost 14.8 Million dollars....
http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/giants/giants-pierre-paul-injured-fireworks-accident-report-article-1.2282254

:kingtard: . . . :peace:


--------------------

"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ...
  Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... :taser:  ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) .  :mod: ... :peace:


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OfflineGiftofdeprivation
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Registered: 07/20/13
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Asante]
    #21903988 - 07/06/15 04:29 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

The fact that that "new law" was brought to the reader's attention displays obvious bias , you are absolutely right there's a political agenda.

After looking again with a skeptical eye, I realized that the sources are foxnews.com, USAtoday.com, and then a bunch of really "bad" secondary news resources (eg huffington post) that normally only publish what's popular. People would be surprised if they knew just how much of their news was fake, lol

Also, notice they say "police say..." too. It's all hearsay from the cops with no crosschecking with any other party.


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Edited by Giftofdeprivation (07/06/15 04:32 AM)


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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Giftofdeprivation]
    #21904049 - 07/06/15 05:14 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

if both his ears ruptured he probably would have just died
sense of balance, hearing gone...


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InvisibleAsante
Mage
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: vinsue]
    #21904150 - 07/06/15 06:16 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Lets ask Gumby, a professional pyrotechnician who shoots shows.

*lights a candle on the sink at midnight in the dark*
*stares into the eerily lit mirror*

"Gumby.. Gumby.. Gumby.."


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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OfflineGiftofdeprivation
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Asante]
    #21905395 - 07/06/15 02:04 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

?


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InvisibleShins
Fun guy
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Registered: 09/15/04
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Giftofdeprivation]
    #21905408 - 07/06/15 02:08 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

This is a perfect reprisentation of america...


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http://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/


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InvisibleAsante
Mage
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Posts: 86,796
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Shins]
    #21905528 - 07/06/15 02:39 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

*crosses two pencils and chants, mesmerized*

"Gumby, Gumby, are you there Gumby?"


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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OfflineGorlax
Male


Registered: 05/06/08
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Asante]
    #21905649 - 07/06/15 03:09 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I don't think it is fake. You know how many people do dumb shit over the 4th weekend. This guy basically put an explosive on his head. It could have just blown up and not even went shooting out. Something happened besides it actually functioning because that would likely just cause burns. It probably fucking blew up on his head.

I guess he was a former disney guy too...

"Former Disney Gaston actor dies in firework incident"

Quote:

CALAIS, Maine (WUSA9) -- A man who died trying to launch a firework off the top of his head for the Fourth of July used to perform as Gaston at Disney World.

Stephen McCausland, a spokesman for the Maine Department of Public Safety, said 22-year-old Devon Staples of Calais, Maine was setting off fireworks with friends on Saturday night in the backyard of a friend's home. Staples put a fireworks mortar tube on his head and set it off. He died instantly, according to McCausland.

Police say the friends had been drinking. His brother told the New York Daily News that Staples was holding a lighter and accidentally set off the firework.

Later, it was revealed that Staples had worked at Disney World as "Beauty and the Beast" character Gaston. Staples was a former Orlando resident who worked as a performer at Disney World, according to the New York Daily News. A Facebook friend posted a photo of Staples in costume.

McCausland says Staples' death marks Maine's first fireworks fatality since the state legalized fireworks in 2012.




... It's real folks.. no secret police are trying this hard to re-ban fireworks in Maine...


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InvisibleAtreyu
Never Ending
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Registered: 03/18/14
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Gorlax]
    #21905659 - 07/06/15 03:11 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

It's real, it was on the news.


I was wondering how he died as well. Maybe the firework exploded inside of the mortar instead of firing out.


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つ ◕_◕ ༽つ N = R* • fp • ne • fl • fi • fc • L 


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Gorlax] * 2
    #21905663 - 07/06/15 03:12 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

That's what happens when you live too close to the Canadian border.


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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
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Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Atreyu] * 1
    #21905684 - 07/06/15 03:18 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

im guessing the pressure from the mortar blasted the tube straight into the top of his head, which some say is one the most sensitive spots in the head, and i mean at that speed and pressure it's probably like similar to getting hit with a baseball?..


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OfflineGorlax
Male


Registered: 05/06/08
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: zZZz]
    #21905717 - 07/06/15 03:26 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Yah they probably won't ever tell you. It could be a large mortar with an insane recoil, misfire, or it blew up instantly.

It says he died instantly so I'm thinking it fucking exploded in the tube. Recoil I would think you would be in a coma for a while with like brain swelling and bleeding but depends on the strength of the round... no way to tell.


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OfflineGiftofdeprivation
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Gorlax]
    #21909638 - 07/07/15 12:54 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Here's the update you've all been waiting for!

Quote:

According to NY Daily News, Devon Staples thought the firework he was waving near his head on July 4 was “a dud” because they had previously tried to set it off, to no avail. He was reportedly being silly and waving it around near his head when it exploded, his father explained: “They lit it and it did not go off. He was waving it around his head (and it exploded).”




http://crimefeed.com/2015/07/man-killed-instantly-setting-off-firework-head-fourth-july/
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/maine-man-died-firework-thought-dud-article-1.2283915


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Invisiblenooneman
Male

Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,561
Loc: Utah
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21909645 - 07/07/15 12:56 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

This would actually be a pretty nice way to die. No pain, no suffering, no confusion, just instant obliteration. Probably one of the nicest ways to die there is.

Sad that he had to go, but at least he died easier than 99% of people will.


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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Giftofdeprivation]
    #21909684 - 07/07/15 01:10 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

could have been an old firework or something, i remember a couple of years ago on the 4th, i lit a mortar i've had stored for about 8 or so years, well when i lit the first round went off smoothly, but then the second round, i guess the powder got so hardened over the years it must have tunred into like rock solid, anyway it blew up right on the ground inside the tube. there were people standing around and everything, pretty close too, but thankfully no one was hurt, everyone laughed it off in the end cuz it was also a really awesome spectacle


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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: zZZz]
    #21909897 - 07/07/15 02:10 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I want to see what his head looks like though

I imagine it was intact but then again ...


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
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Registered: 04/04/12
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Konyap]
    #21909931 - 07/07/15 02:22 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Eh, I do some pretty retarded stuff when im drunk but come the fuck on.


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Konyap]
    #21910235 - 07/07/15 03:35 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Giftofdeprivation said:
Here's the update you've all been waiting for!

Quote:

According to NY Daily News, Devon Staples thought the firework he was waving near his head on July 4 was “a dud” because they had previously tried to set it off, to no avail. He was reportedly being silly and waving it around near his head when it exploded, his father explained: “They lit it and it did not go off. He was waving it around his head (and it exploded).”




http://crimefeed.com/2015/07/man-killed-instantly-setting-off-firework-head-fourth-july/
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/maine-man-died-firework-thought-dud-article-1.2283915





Ah yes, see thats far more plausible.

Quote:

Illyabo said:
I want to see what his head looks like though





Probably smashed like a melon hit with a baseball bat. It probably shot him right in the head and a hard several ounce projectile which possibly promptly explodes from the impact can do a lot of damage.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
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InvisibleNiffla
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Asante]
    #21910403 - 07/07/15 04:17 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

This guy is at least in the running.

http://www.gq.com/story/texas-man-taunts-alligators-gets-eaten

Got hammered, wanted to go swimming, people warn him that there are gators in the water. Dives in anyway. Oh, and for good measure he yelled "fuck alligators" before jumping in.

Supposedly he was dragged under almost immediately and killed by said alligator(s).


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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InvisibleAsante
Mage
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Niffla]
    #21910414 - 07/07/15 04:21 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I see a pattern here. Males & alcohol.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
shoulda died already
I'm a teapot


Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Niffla]
    #21910416 - 07/07/15 04:22 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

i watched the video on the cnn page and i just couldn't stop laughing.


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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
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Registered: 12/28/07
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #21910536 - 07/07/15 04:45 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

video?.. :strokebeard:


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InvisibleGumby
Fishnologist
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Registered: 06/13/01
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21910545 - 07/07/15 04:48 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomslip said:

http://news.yahoo.com/police-man-shoots-off-firework-top-head-dies-135937499.html

How damn stupid do you have to be?




Really fucking stupid. Even if it's a regular consumer grade firework, you can still buy 1.25" mortars with no ATF license in states where they are legal. If that mortar was a report/salute (all flash powder tightly wrapped with small bits of titanium in it), that's a stupid powerful firework, even for it's size.

I had a 3" report blow on the ground at one show. It was in a quarter-inch-thick walled HDPE pipe and it still blew the pipe and 3 fireworks racks to shreds. I was about 5 feet away and I ended up with shrapnel in my arms and legs, a concussion, and my right eardrum blown out. At another show, I had a regular 3" "color stars" mortar blow in the pipe when I was 10 feet away. It blew a hole in the pipe and put another small tear in my ear drum. If a 1.25" report blows in a commercial available CARDBOARD tube on top of your head, I'd actually be more surprised if you lived than died.

Don't be fucking retards with fireworks. I feel like a lot of people severely underestimate their power. Even the shitty little legal "M80s" can blow fingers off in a closed hand. A mortar shell can kill you with out a doubt.


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OfflineColours
Registered: 01/20/13
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Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Gumby]
    #21910673 - 07/07/15 05:15 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

This dude is a close runner up. Happened early morning July 4th.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/man-mocked-alligator-fatal-attack-texas-bayou-article-1.2281325

Texas alligator attack victim mocked animal before jumping in bayou



Quote:

The man who was killed by an alligator in Texas had mocked the animal before jumping into gator-infested waters Friday, an official said.

Tommie Woodward, 28, ignored warning signs and dismissed employee's pleas against swimming at Bukart's Marina at about 2:30 a.m., officials said.

"He said, 'blank the alligators' and jumped into the water and almost immediately yelled for help," Orange County Justice of the Peace Rodney Price told KDFM, likely censoring himself for the camera.

Woodward had headed to the marina with an unidentified woman and went swimming, despite warnings about a 12-foot alligator in the bayou, marina owner Allen Burkart told the Houston Chronicle.

"They were begging with him not to do it," Bukart said.

Marina employee Michelle Wright cried as she told KDFM she had pleaded with him not to go in the water and then witnessed his death.

"Next thing I know this girl is screaming and an alligator's got him," Wright said. "I saw his body floating face down and then he's up there for a couple seconds and then he gets dragged back down and pulled off."
Woodward soon disappeared from view. His body was found two hours later.

He was the first person killed by an alligator in Texas since 1836, when a man was attacked while swimming across a bayou.

Heavy rain has displaced alligators in the area in the last 45 days, causing them to become more territorial, especially as they're in breeding season, authorities said.

Woodward had recently moved to Orange from St. Louis with his twin brother to work at a shipyard, said Wright, who was friends with him.

"I kept trying to figure out and calling his name and calling his name and he just, he was dead. And it's heartbreaking," Wright said




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InvisibleGumby
Fishnologist
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Colours]
    #21910776 - 07/07/15 05:32 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Fuck that alligator!

I could live by those last words.


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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Gumby]
    #21910804 - 07/07/15 05:37 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

the alligator must have been stalking him from the start

cant lie tho that's a pretty badass way to go if ur into that kind of stuff..

rip tho. no life is worth more than others


--------------------
https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
shoulda died already
I'm a teapot


Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: zZZz]
    #21910816 - 07/07/15 05:40 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

It would be badass if he didn't scream like a bitch for help when the animals he called on swarmed him.


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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #21910860 - 07/07/15 05:49 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

well he still got eaten. if he cried like a bitch and then made it out then that would have been pretty bitchy


--------------------
https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv


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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: zZZz]
    #21911196 - 07/07/15 07:00 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I thought that was odd.  Alligators usually do not go after people.  They are much less aggressive than crocodiles.


--------------------


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
shoulda died already
I'm a teapot


Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: zappaisgod]
    #21911281 - 07/07/15 07:14 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

maybe he landed on it


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InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,485
Loc: Texas
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: zappaisgod] * 2
    #21911290 - 07/07/15 07:15 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

zappaisgod said:
I thought that was odd.  Alligators usually do not go after people.  They are much less aggressive than crocodiles.




gator overheard him say "fuck them alligators"


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 13 minutes
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21911293 - 07/07/15 07:16 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Now the parents are asking for stricter regulation on fireworks

https://www.yahoo.com/health/youre-just-supplying-people-with-bombs-despite-123471738412.html

:lol: I say we get stricter regulations on dumb asses. They must all wear a helmet 100% of the time and be accompanied by an intelligent, responsible adult, paid for out of pocket by the parents.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
shoulda died already
I'm a teapot


Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21911309 - 07/07/15 07:20 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Next year we're gonna lobby for four wheeled bicycles.


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InvisibleMr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter
I'm a teapot

Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #21911367 - 07/07/15 07:30 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Can we ban gravity while we're at it?

think of the children


--------------------
I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart.
I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
shoulda died already
I'm a teapot


Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Mr.PhilCybin]
    #21911370 - 07/07/15 07:31 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

We'd probably grow better weed without it anyway.


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 13 minutes
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #21911371 - 07/07/15 07:31 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Nah bicycles kill people man, we need to ban them.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflineD.M.T
Shroomery Contaminant
Female

Registered: 10/31/09
Posts: 10,991
Loc: In your brain
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: zappaisgod]
    #21911372 - 07/07/15 07:31 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

zappaisgod said:
I thought that was odd.  Alligators usually do not go after people.  They are much less aggressive than crocodiles.



Probably because they're in breeding season:
Quote:

Heavy rain has displaced alligators in the area in the last 45 days, causing them to become more territorial, especially as they're in breeding season, authorities said.




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InvisibleMr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter
I'm a teapot

Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: larry.fisherman] * 1
    #21911399 - 07/07/15 07:36 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

XLCaps said:
We'd probably grow better weed without it anyway.




have you heard of the beer that has hopsyeast grown in space?




space beer man
http://www.wired.com/2015/03/ground-control-space-beer/

edit: oh yeah, and the space barley beer.
first on the list -
http://mentalfloss.com/article/30987/10-worlds-most-expensive-beers


--------------------
I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart.
I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.


Edited by Mr.PhilCybin (07/07/15 07:47 PM)


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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Mr.PhilCybin]
    #21911770 - 07/07/15 08:43 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I'll never head inland

alligators
tornado's
mudslides

sounds like death


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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Konyap]
    #21911783 - 07/07/15 08:46 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I would suggest you stay entirely away from Australia


--------------------


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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: zappaisgod]
    #21911789 - 07/07/15 08:46 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

that's pretty ironic considering my avatar


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OfflineD.M.T
Shroomery Contaminant
Female

Registered: 10/31/09
Posts: 10,991
Loc: In your brain
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: zappaisgod]
    #21911794 - 07/07/15 08:47 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

zappaisgod said:
I would suggest you stay entirely away from Australia



This is advice we all should take


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InvisibleMr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter
I'm a teapot

Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: D.M.T]
    #21911803 - 07/07/15 08:49 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

not to mention the fucking jellies.


dear god the jellies :facepalm:


--------------------
I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart.
I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.


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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Mr.PhilCybin]
    #21912022 - 07/07/15 09:34 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

yo we need to ban life, that shit is a nuisance


--------------------
https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv


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OfflineLuSiD enthusiast
Stranger

Registered: 03/14/13
Posts: 4,325
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: zZZz]
    #21912263 - 07/07/15 10:16 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Man i remember my first drunk and firework combo. We had roman candles, and i was 17 at the time. I wasn't even drunk i had had 3 beers my friend had 5-6 and he can drink like a champ so he was pretty buzzed but definitely not drunk, like he was still good to drive and shit.

Well anyway of course the whole time we're lighting them off and joking about drinking and fireworks. My friend had a roman candle and only 2 went off, and the dumbass thought it was done. So instead of putting it down facing away(i treat fireworks like guns, never point at someone, even if its unloaded)he turns around and shoots me in the chest. Im wearing a hoodie, it hit me square in the chest and i look down, it bounces up into my hood and crackles and somehow only my hoodie got a slight brown mark.:facepalm:

Later that night we kept lighting them off for a bit, had like 30 roman candles, but at one point they started busting in half while we were holding them cause they were some cheap ass fireworks. They would start spewing candles off all over the place, so we said fuck em and put the roman candles down for the night.

Bottle rockets are my all time favorite firework.


--------------------
I'm addicted to coke, weed, booze, ludes and speed.
Not LSD, you can't get addicted to LSD, it was built by scientists.

I ain't got no demons that gonna get woke.


In erowid we trust.

Just take your damn pills and don't ask any questions, you'll be fine.


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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: LuSiD enthusiast]
    #21912319 - 07/07/15 10:29 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

those bottle rockets were like crack to me as a young lad

ive never tried crack. but id imagine id be very addicting

almost did tho.. but glad i didnt..


--------------------
https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv


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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: LuSiD enthusiast]
    #21912333 - 07/07/15 10:33 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

anyway one of our bushes almost caught fire this year, it might have been from a roman candle cuz we threw a few of them off course.. it started getting smokey and then ignited into a small fire, but we caught it right away and put it out//

careful out there girls


--------------------
https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv


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OfflinePLURAL
PLUR
Male

Registered: 01/16/14
Posts: 31,320
Loc: PLUR
Last seen: 2 months, 28 days
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Giftofdeprivation]
    #21912449 - 07/07/15 10:58 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Giftofdeprivation said:
Quote:

"There was no Devon left when I got there,"








Haha, I laughed way more than I should've when I seen this post.


--------------------
PLUR


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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: PLURAL]
    #21912535 - 07/07/15 11:19 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

on the real tho, for a second there..

i thought it was our devon..


--------------------
https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
shoulda died already
I'm a teapot


Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Mr.PhilCybin]
    #21912559 - 07/07/15 11:23 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Mr.PhilCybin said:
Quote:

XLCaps said:
We'd probably grow better weed without it anyway.




have you heard of the beer that has hopsyeast grown in space?


space beer man
http://www.wired.com/2015/03/ground-control-space-beer/

edit: oh yeah, and the space barley beer.
first on the list -
http://mentalfloss.com/article/30987/10-worlds-most-expensive-beers



That's pretty cool! Don't know if I'd pay that much for the novelty though. On the other hand looking at that list apparently there's a world of expensive beers. I wouldn't mind trying a few of those if I could.


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Gumby]
    #21912637 - 07/07/15 11:37 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Gumby said:
Fuck that alligator!

I could live by those last words.





http://www.kprcradio.com/onair/walton-and-johnson-51391/what-happens-when-a-gator-bites-13740742


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: zappaisgod] * 1
    #21912654 - 07/07/15 11:40 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

zappaisgod said:
I would suggest you stay entirely away from Australia





not everything in australia is trying to kill you, I'm sure there's something
such as a rock that wont hunt you down and rip your guts out


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 13 minutes
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Prisoner#1] * 1
    #21912683 - 07/07/15 11:44 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

If there were rocks anywhere on this planet who desired to hunt you down and kill you, they'd be in Australia for sure.. I wouldn't risk it.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 6 hours, 4 minutes
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #21913839 - 07/08/15 08:07 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:

zappaisgod said:
I would suggest you stay entirely away from Australia





not everything in australia is trying to kill you, I'm sure there's something
such as a rock that wont hunt you down and rip your guts out




If you accidently touch the rock you'll get burned. The sun is so hot you could cook an egg on them


--------------------


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InvisibleMr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter
I'm a teapot

Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #21914355 - 07/08/15 10:24 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

XLCaps said:
Quote:

Mr.PhilCybin said:
Quote:

XLCaps said:
We'd probably grow better weed without it anyway.




have you heard of the beer that has hopsyeast grown in space?


space beer man
http://www.wired.com/2015/03/ground-control-space-beer/

edit: oh yeah, and the space barley beer.
first on the list -
http://mentalfloss.com/article/30987/10-worlds-most-expensive-beers



That's pretty cool! Don't know if I'd pay that much for the novelty though. On the other hand looking at that list apparently there's a world of expensive beers. I wouldn't mind trying a few of those if I could.




I managed to track down a bottle of the Ground control yesterday :woot:

pricey, and totally a novelty, but not nearly as expensive as any of the ones on the list ($20/22oz), but they're my favorite brewery, and I just want the bragging rights :shrug::lol:


--------------------
I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart.
I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.


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Invisiblevinsue
Grand Old Fart
Male User Gallery


Registered: 02/17/04
Posts: 17,953
Loc: The Garden State(NJ) Flag
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Gumby]
    #21914382 - 07/08/15 10:34 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Gumby said:
Fuck that alligator!

I could live by those last words.



Alligator got fucked alright.
http://ftw.usatoday.com/2015/07/a-man-named-bear-killed-an-alligator-to-avenge-the-death-of-his-friend
Quote:

A man who identified himself to the Houston Chronicle as Bear shot and killed an 11-foot alligator he believed had killed his friend on Friday.

“He had to go,” Bear said. “That’s what happens when you kill someone.”

The alligator was located in Burkart’s Marina in Orange, Texas, the site of where 28-year-old Tommie Woodward had been killed. According to the Houston Chronicle, game wardens cut open the alligator Monday night – after Bear killed it – and found remains of Woodward inside....



:sniper: . . . :peace:


--------------------

"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ...
  Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... :taser:  ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) .  :mod: ... :peace:


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Invisiblepsi
TOAST N' JAM
Male User Gallery

Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,456
Loc: 613 Flag
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: Colours]
    #21914400 - 07/08/15 10:41 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Colours said:
Quote:


He said, 'blank the alligators' and jumped into the water








What a strange thing to say.


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InvisibleThayendanegea
quiet walker
Male User Gallery


Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation Flag
Re: And the July 4th 2015 darwinian award goes to... [Re: psi] * 1
    #21914411 - 07/08/15 10:45 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

By the looks of dudes photo....I'd say the alligator was craving meth.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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