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MagicFingers
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The endless frustration with Drugs.
#21902187 - 07/05/15 06:18 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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This is my first post in The Pub. I think this concept is pretty neat. I'm not a very social person but thinking of it as a "pub" for discussion with experienced individuals is pretty cool.
I think the main reason I am posting this is because I would like to get others point of view on the subject. My judgement is jaded in its own way. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe not? Aside from that I'm sure I mainly just want to vent. This may be a DL;DR. But if you are willing to read it. Please, comment and let me know what you think.
When I was young, I was grown up to believe that drugs are Bad. I was brainwashed in fear that I would lead a life that would contribute to self destruction through substance abuse. I understand what they were trying to do. I'm just not sure that the DARE program worked very well. Fear is never a good tool...
It wasn't until high school that I started to be a little more open minded. I liked a girl that said she smoked some pot. So that sparked my interest. I decided to try it and contacted a friend who could get some. We tried it and I had a great experience. It allowed me to break out of my shell and be more social. It helped me with my depression issues that I had from a very young age. So at this point in my life I thought... maybe drugs are not so bad.
Next came the alcohol. I did not enjoy any part of it to be honest. The taste was unbearable. The experience was not worth the negative experiences. So I stayed away from it for most of my life. (It hasn't been until recent years that I may have a few on an occasion). Growing up with friends drinking only made my perspective on alcohol that much worse. It has never been a constructive substance for anyone that I know. I understand that it has helped people be more social. But it has always led to bad situations.
My friends in high school experimented with random things. I was intrigued but I really didn't want to be careless about my substance use. Which i find to be the norm for most. I'm not sure if that is drawn from various things in their life. But for me, I would always research before I would do anything. (erowid.org) *even at 16 years old I wanted to be knowledgeable about what I was doing* Why? Because I didn't want to cause any form of grief in my life. May that be brain damage, health issues, family problems, law issues, etc. I suppose it is because I always wanted to avoid issues.
I had no interest in just trying... anything. But I had tried adderal and thought it helped me stay focused but gave me a gross feeling coming down. I thought it was interesting but wasn't worth the money. I had tried DXM. I drank a bottle(only one) and it made me feel drunk and I couldn't keep my eyes open... I regret doing it. I tried taking pain meds. By far the most disgusting feeling I've ever had. I never wanted to take pain meds for anything ever again after that experience. I tried a bit of cocaine with a friend. We were trying to get some pot and all they had was cocaine so we decided to try it. In all honestly, it wasn't a bad experience. But at the price and knowing the high addiction possibilities I decided to stay away from it.
Finally, I was introduced to mushrooms. I was very intrigued. I had never tried a "psychedelic". So I did my normal research and found out it could be a good and/or bad experience. Knowing that the addiction possibility was pretty much zero I decided to try it. Obviously, it was a mind opening experience. I saw life in a whole new light. I wanted to be a more optimistic person. I wanted to be a positive influence on my friends. I wanted to be more social with my family. At this point in my life I thought. Maybe all drugs have a positive purpose.
Eventually, my friend came back from an underground festival and said I had to go. Explained he had some a crazy amount of drugs and had a blast.
My first festival was a bit frightening. I was confused. How could there be so many people on psychedelics and no police interaction? I decided to try some LSD. Overall, was a fun experience. Similar to mushrooms but definitely its own thing. At this point a lot of people were using ecstasy. Once again I didn't want to get involved without knowing more about it. After doing a lot of research I decided it was not a good idea. The potential for brain damage was nothing I wanted to get involved with. It wasn't until many years later that I finally tried it at a festival and learned that it could be used for a good purpose. But 99% of the people using it... abuse it so much that they permanently cause damage. Even to this day I am torn on this substance. It has so much potential in helping people. But I've seen some things that changed it to a bitter sweet for me.
Lets fast-forward to today. I still smoke pot. I think it has its place. I think it had caused some motivation issues for me. Aside from that, it still helps with depression. It can cause anxiety. But at other times make it go away. I feel this is the one substance that has done the least damage for most people that use anything.
Now, for the fun part. A year ago I met this girl that recently got out of prison. She was sent in for a felony case with pot. Obviously, she had other things in her life that led up to that point. This is what I learned about her...
Her mother was a drug addict. For the most part she drank a ton of alcohol and smoked a lot of crack. Her mother would have had 10 children. She had 6, aborted 2, and the rest were miscarriages. When this girl was born her stomach was bloated from screaming so much from inside womb. This was from her mother smoking crack. She was born addicted... one of her possible fathers took her when she was 5 where she was neglected, physically, and sexually abused. Her sister died from lung disese when she was 11. Her mother showed her a crack pipe when she was 13. At the same time showed her how to make it. In high school she got involved with every possible drug you could encounter. She sold it.. and did everything. She was angry at the world. Angry at why her mother chose drugs over her. Didn't care about anything other than getting faded. She eventually meets a guy that had similar interest. Which lead her to doing heroin.... and we all know what the leads to. Her whole world revolved around putting a needle in her arm. She then gets in trouble with the law and loses everything. (short version) Her husband divorces her while she is in jail for an 18 year old. Gets set up and sent to prison for 9 years.
So this girl gets out of jail and somehow stumbles into my life. The whole thing is staggering. I knew from the start that I should NOT get involved with this girl. I know she is emotionally damaged. Someone who has gotten into opiates is pretty much a lost cause it seems. But what did I do?
The passion and love inside me could not let this girl go. Her personality is like a beautiful light. She has so much energy and optimism. For whatever reason she found an attraction in me. Obviously, someone almost the exact opposite of her. She asks me to stay...and be with her. So a year ago I decided to give it a go.
Since then she has relapsed 3 times. Almost to the point of losing her son. Just went back to jail for theft trying to get money for child support and ...of course opiates.
Tomorrow is her court date. Her preliminary hearing wants to give her drug court. But she could get revoked. She could have to sit longer. She could just get a fine...or maybe even time served... and I stay. I stay because I even in the darkest moments I feel there is still hope. Am I wrong? Should I be here?
Mushrooms has helped me open my eyes. I see that all substances have their place and can help people. However, I see so many individuals that are so focused on "lets get fucked up!". I honestly wish people would understand that there is more to life than getting faded.
I understand that my hate for drugs is jaded. Am I wrong to have a intense hatred for most drugs? Don't get me wrong. I love pot, I love mushrooms. I'll take LSD on occasion. I'll take ecstasy on occasion. I may have a few drinks here and there. But I will not try anything anymore. I am done.
This is kinda how my perspective has changed through the years.
Drugs are BAD> Maybe drugs aren't so bad > Drugs are fun! > All drugs have a purpose > A lot of drugs are not for me > I need to moderate what I do > I don't like a lot of drugs > I really hate most drugs, especially certain ones.
Am I wrong? Should I be more open minded? I understand my point of view is jaded.
In the end of all of this. I think the point is I have always been the responsible one. I've always felt everyone else should do the same thing because of fear. I then found exactly why I had that fear and it solidified those fears.
I wish for anyone that has had substance problems the best! If you are at a point in life that you feel like you need help. Reach out to your loved ones and do what you need to do. Be strong and put faith in the idea that life can be good without always using something.
Wish me luck.
P.S. Mushrooms are awesome! I truly feel they can be used for helping people. There are endless studies that show mushrooms can significantly help people. (even with the bad experiences I have seen)
-------------------- Live the Life you Love! -MagicFingers

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Malcolm_Xtasy
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: MagicFingers] 1
#21902206 - 07/05/15 06:24 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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nooneman


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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: MagicFingers] 1
#21902242 - 07/05/15 06:36 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Don't become a drug elitist. The attitude of "my drugs are better than your drugs" is short sighted and naive. Children and old people are prescribed meth. Tons of people work normal jobs and lead normal lives with hardcore addictions to opiates. People from all walks of life smoke pot or do psychedelics on the weekends. Most people do drugs and are fine. Demonizing one drug or another doesn't match up with the reality of those drugs.
If someone makes bad choice and drinks a lot, you don't blame the alcohol. If someone is a shitty human being and smokes like a chimney, you don't blame the cigarettes. Drugs are just drugs. It's people who ultimately have control over their own lives.
Don't blame drugs for the bad decisions of people.
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Hayoxp
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: MagicFingers]
#21902341 - 07/05/15 07:02 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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A little shorter would suffice
-------------------- Enlil is trash, needs to end himself.
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Shroomism
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: MagicFingers] 1
#21902355 - 07/05/15 07:06 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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In a nutshell: Drugs are not the problem. People are the problem. Anyone can use drugs responsibly, even heroin. Some just choose not to. There are plenty (tons) of highly functional members of society that use many different types of drugs recreationally and medicinally with no problems.
As far as that girl goes.. she sounds like bad news and is probably a large part of the reason you have such a tilted view of drugs. Do yourself a favor and get out of her life before she drags you down with her.
TL;DR: Some people just suck.. or suck at life. Drugs are just drugs.
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Shroomism
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: nooneman] 1
#21902366 - 07/05/15 07:08 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
nooneman said: Don't become a drug elitist. The attitude of "my drugs are better than your drugs" is short sighted and naive. Children and old people are prescribed meth. Tons of people work normal jobs and lead normal lives with hardcore addictions to opiates. People from all walks of life smoke pot or do psychedelics on the weekends. Most people do drugs and are fine. Demonizing one drug or another doesn't match up with the reality of those drugs.
If someone makes bad choice and drinks a lot, you don't blame the alcohol. If someone is a shitty human being and smokes like a chimney, you don't blame the cigarettes. Drugs are just drugs. It's people who ultimately have control over their own lives.
Don't blame drugs for the bad decisions of people.
This is exactly what I was trying to say.
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MagicFingers
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: Hayoxp]
#21902389 - 07/05/15 07:13 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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For the DL:DR. I get it. I wouldn't read a post like this either.
I am not blaming the drugs. I also don't think that I am better than anyone else because of my own choices. I see the jaded view from "straight edge" folks as well as users of all different substances.
Self destruction seems to be common. It has just become very evident that drugs help this substantially. It has also become evident that certain substances have proven to be a huge influence on that self destruction. Obviously, caffeine has had less influence than say opiates.
I honestly feel that people who defend drugs are just covering up their own issues.
I know I have caused my own problems due to various decisions in my life. May that be not doing something. Or doing something.
I'm not siding with people who say "drugs are bad". But I will also never side with those that say "drugs are not the problem". Because it is a total lie on both sides.
-------------------- Live the Life you Love! -MagicFingers

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MagicFingers
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21902397 - 07/05/15 07:15 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Here is the short version bro. I am torn between enjoying substances and hating them at the same time.
-------------------- Live the Life you Love! -MagicFingers

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Malcolm_Xtasy
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: MagicFingers]
#21902400 - 07/05/15 07:16 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Well I think you have the right attitude bc its always a little bit of both. It sounds like you're aware enough of your own actions/choices to not let it get outta control
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Shroomism
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: MagicFingers] 1
#21902419 - 07/05/15 07:21 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
MagicFingers said: I honestly feel that people who defend drugs are just covering up their own issues.
That would actually be you... projecting your own issues on us.
Quote:
I know I have caused my own problems due to various decisions in my life.
There you go. That is you, being honest.
Quote:
I'm not siding with people who say "drugs are bad". But I will also never side with those that say "drugs are not the problem". Because it is a total lie on both sides.
Explain.
Drugs are just drugs. They are not "good" or "bad". Those things are completely subjective. They can cause different effects to different people, in general they temporary alter consciousness and/or provide medicinal benefits.
People who abuse drugs to the extent that they interfere with their life in a significant way are usually making poor decisions.
ANYTHING can be abused to the point where it negatively effects your life. Some people abuse fast food, some people abuse sugar, some people abuse video games, some people abuse sex, some people abuse drugs, some people abuse being too fucking nice. WATER will fucking kill you if you drink too much of it too fast. Yes, the very thing our lives depend on. Aspirin is a drug. It helps many people and has saved lives. It will also kill you if you take the whole bottle at once.
Does that mean all those things are inherently evil? NO. It means some people are just stupid and make stupid decisions.
MDMA can be very beneficial as a therapeutic substance and shows great promise in marriage counseling and PTSD treatment. Does that mean you should roll your balls off every night? NO.
Drugs are not the problem. People making stupid decisions are.
Almost all drugs should be used in moderation to use them responsibly. And not every person should be using certains drugs, or some people shouldn't use them at all, because it's virtually impossible for them to use them responsibly, or they may have predisposed conditions Everyone is different and you must only judge on an individual basis.
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nooneman


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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: MagicFingers] 1
#21902422 - 07/05/15 07:22 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
MagicFingers said: I honestly feel that people who defend drugs are just covering up their own issues.
Says the guy trying to cover up issues in his own life by blaming drugs.
Your girlfriend isn't a great person, and you're trying to blame drugs for that. The fact that you don't want to admit to is that even if the drugs weren't there she would be the same. You should leave her and find someone else.
Also, many of the problems she encountered have been caused by drug prohibition. Don't hate drugs just because prohibition ruined someone's life.
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MagicFingers
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: Shroomism]
#21902456 - 07/05/15 07:34 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Obviously, some things are more addictive than others. Obviously, addictive things cause people to use heavily. May that be sugar, caffeine, sex, or a w/e.
There is this thing called Moderation. It seems, there are very little people in this world that can actually do and respect that. I wish nothing more than for people to have fun and fulfilling lives.
Either way, there are some things that have a bigger influence on destruction in their lives than others. Having too much sex has its own problems. So is eating too much. But for me the most destructive thing I have seen in lives is due to drug abuse.
I know my view is jaded. But I am more than happy to say I Hate Heroin. I see it as a disease and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.
I love people. I've always wanted to help people.
So should my judgement be switched to people? I see someone struggling in the streets I should just think..well.. your just a pile of shit and did nothing good for yourself so your an idiot.
No. I see that this person has struggled in life and needs help. They allowed destruction to enter their lives. They have made bad decisions.
I do not see the substance as evil. But it can be used as a tool for evil. Just like anything else.
Either way. I've always hoped the best for everyone.
-------------------- Live the Life you Love! -MagicFingers

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Shroomism
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: MagicFingers]
#21902484 - 07/05/15 07:39 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Many people are depressed or suicidal or make poor decisions to begin with and turn to drugs as a way to cope or escape from reality. If it wasn't drugs, it WOULD be something else. My point was anything can be harmful if taken to excess.. even the most benign thing - like water.
Drugs have helped millions (billions?) of people. Millions of people have also abused drugs and ruined their lives over them. What's the common thread here? PEOPLE
Prohibition of drugs ruins FAR more lives than all illegal drugs combined do by themselves. The criminalization of addicts (which is a medical problem) does nothing to help the problem and only makes it far worse.
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akira_akuma
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: Shroomism]
#21902487 - 07/05/15 07:41 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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except when it's not prohibition of drugs. damn schism of responsibility.
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MagicFingers
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: nooneman]
#21902489 - 07/05/15 07:41 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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It is interesting to me that people actually try to project their "knowledge" on others as if what they say is gold. I can sense the hostility and honestly I don't understand it.
But I respect your opinion.
I hope the best for ya.
Good luck with everything!
-------------------- Live the Life you Love! -MagicFingers

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Shroomism
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: akira_akuma]
#21902495 - 07/05/15 07:44 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I'm fairly sure the 50%+ of the US prison population (1.1million+) people in jail for victimless drug "crimes" would disagree. Prohibition causes far more problems then drugs themselves do. Criminalizing a victimless medical issue is criminal in and of itself.
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MagicFingers
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: Shroomism]
#21902500 - 07/05/15 07:45 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I agree. Prohibition on drugs has caused a lot of issues in itself. I have had a lot of conversations about this with my friend. He said there is another country that all drugs are legal and people dealing with drug abuse are treated for it.
Putting people in jail for drugs is ridiculous. But it is obvious our society doesn't know how to properly help people in need.
-------------------- Live the Life you Love! -MagicFingers

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akira_akuma
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: Shroomism]
#21902501 - 07/05/15 07:45 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Shroomism said: I'm fairly sure the 50%+ of the US prison population (1.1million+) people in jail for victimless drug "crimes" would disagree.
but isn't that just those "victimless" crimes. what about when a drug dealer sell's to kid's, you think that's victimless?
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Shroomism
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: akira_akuma]
#21902538 - 07/05/15 07:53 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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We are arguing semantics now? Of course there are going to be a few fringe cases. I'm talking about the vast majority of people who are put in jail for completely victimless drug crimes. The guy that gets caught with a half ounce in his own house, for example. Or someone has a bag of coke in their pocket, for themselves.
People often get lengthy sentences for drug crimes. Oftentimes more than murderers and rapists... actual crimes with a victim. Jail often ruins peoples lives. They often lose their job and home, often lose their relationships. If they were the breadwinner in the family, their family can find their lives ruined too. It effects many lives, not just the person who is thrown in jail for a victimless "crime". Then when they get out of prison, they have a felony on their record and find it extremely difficult to get employment, or get back on their feet and reintegrate with society. This often leads people to more crime, more black market dealings.. more likely to abuse drugs. It becomes a revolving door.
Prohibition of drugs is THE main part of the problem with drugs. If drugs were legal and regulated and readily available, there would be no reason for a black market for them. Abuse would actually go down (as has been demonstrated in Portugal, who decriminalized ALL drugs) Crime would go down Overdoses would go down, as products would be pure and consistent potency with tight regulations, and there could be more focus on education. Money that was spent on policing the drug laws and jailing people could be used for medical treatment and rehab and education to get addicts the help they NEED. Prohibition does nothing but harms society. Drugs on the other hand, are just drugs. http://mic.com/articles/110344/14-years-after-portugal-decriminalized-all-drugs-here-s-what-s-happening
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akira_akuma
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: Shroomism]
#21902567 - 07/05/15 07:59 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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c'mon i know all that, i wasn't even thinking about the spiel i was gonna get with my comment i made, jeez. look, i am just arguing for the damn fool kid's dumb enough or foolhearty enough to be sucked into buying drugs or stealing them, just to fuck around and get high (or try escape reality, is option number two), then for the rest, look, you're right, ok. i know already!
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MagicFingers
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: Shroomism]
#21902569 - 07/05/15 08:00 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I agree with this man. 100%
I've seen this first hand.
Lady allows her baby to drowned in a bath tub and gets 6 months in Huber. Man rapes a little girl and gets 1 year in jail. Girl get caught with less than an oz of marijuana and gets 3 years. and 10 years on probation.
-------------------- Live the Life you Love! -MagicFingers

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MagicFingers
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: akira_akuma]
#21902573 - 07/05/15 08:01 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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This made me laugh! :::)
-------------------- Live the Life you Love! -MagicFingers

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akira_akuma
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: MagicFingers]
#21902576 - 07/05/15 08:01 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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i agree with this man too, he's my favorite advertisement here, Shroomism for Admin 2016!
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akira_akuma
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: MagicFingers]
#21902583 - 07/05/15 08:02 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
MagicFingers said: This made me laugh! :::)
my contrarian poking made Shroomism indulge us with his knowledgeable responses, and anti-anti drug rhetoric and his philosophy is sound, so it was worth it altogether.
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Shroomism
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: MagicFingers]
#21902598 - 07/05/15 08:06 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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But on the real, the chick you are with sounds like a barrel full of problems, drugs aside. Red flags... red flags everywhere. Child support and stealing to get it? Let me guess she spends all her money on drugs that she should be spending on her kid? Where's the baby's daddy? If she's stealing for child support.. that means she's either spending the child support, or he's not paying it.. which it would either be taken from his wages or he would be in jail. Either way this chick sounds a freight train wreck waiting to happen and you are along for the ride. Sounds like you want to fix her... good luck with that... You can't hold yourself responsible for other people's bad choices... that usually just ends in turmoil.
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MagicFingers
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: Shroomism]
#21902646 - 07/05/15 08:16 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Oh man... its a long story.
She is a RED FLAG. Right from the beginning I told myself not to get involved. But she asked me to stick around so I gave her a chance. Knowing I should not get involved.
She just got out of jail so getting a job was near impossible with her record (excuses if you ask me). Her ex husband would spend all his money on dope and say they could save money by selling half of it. But he would use all of it within a few days. So in her past she had to steal to survive. So it was a natural thing for her to do to get money. She isn't able to make child support payments and of course is getting letters with threats.
Her ex husband is in prison. He was setup for a heroin bust and went down hard. His mother has the kid. She had the kid a few months before she was sent to jail. Was never allowed to see him until she got out.
If you put it into perspective. She was doing the best she had ever done in her life. She never wanted to try. Ever. This was the first time in her life she wanted to get out of the hell hole. When she relapsed she bounced back quick and didn't get back into it for many months. It wasn't until recent where her manic problems caused her to go back. She wasn't into it for more than 2 weeks before this recent theft incident. I already knew something was up...and found her needle in my car. But I obviously already saw the signs.
This is her last chance to prove herself that she deserves a real life.
She really is a beautiful person that took the wrong path.
Yes... my problem is trying to "fix" her. But I also know I can't do it. She needs to fix herself. So we will see how it goes. I'm going to give her my all. But if she goes back to the needle. It is definitely over.
I appreciate the input.
-------------------- Live the Life you Love! -MagicFingers

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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: MagicFingers]
#21902702 - 07/05/15 08:30 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
MagicFingers said: This is my first post in The Pub. I think this concept is pretty neat. I'm not a very social person but thinking of it as a "pub" for discussion with experienced individuals is pretty cool.
I think the main reason I am posting this is because I would like to get others point of view on the subject. My judgement is jaded in its own way. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe not? Aside from that I'm sure I mainly just want to vent. This may be a DL;DR. But if you are willing to read it. Please, comment and let me know what you think.
When I was young, I was grown up to believe that drugs are Bad. I was brainwashed in fear that I would lead a life that would contribute to self destruction through substance abuse. I understand what they were trying to do. I'm just not sure that the DARE program worked very well. Fear is never a good tool...
It wasn't until high school that I started to be a little more open minded. I liked a girl that said she smoked some pot. So that sparked my interest. I decided to try it and contacted a friend who could get some. We tried it and I had a great experience. It allowed me to break out of my shell and be more social. It helped me with my depression issues that I had from a very young age. So at this point in my life I thought... maybe drugs are not so bad.
Next came the alcohol. I did not enjoy any part of it to be honest. The taste was unbearable. The experience was not worth the negative experiences. So I stayed away from it for most of my life. (It hasn't been until recent years that I may have a few on an occasion). Growing up with friends drinking only made my perspective on alcohol that much worse. It has never been a constructive substance for anyone that I know. I understand that it has helped people be more social. But it has always led to bad situations.
My friends in high school experimented with random things. I was intrigued but I really didn't want to be careless about my substance use. Which i find to be the norm for most. I'm not sure if that is drawn from various things in their life. But for me, I would always research before I would do anything. (erowid.org) *even at 16 years old I wanted to be knowledgeable about what I was doing* Why? Because I didn't want to cause any form of grief in my life. May that be brain damage, health issues, family problems, law issues, etc. I suppose it is because I always wanted to avoid issues.
I had no interest in just trying... anything. But I had tried adderal and thought it helped me stay focused but gave me a gross feeling coming down. I thought it was interesting but wasn't worth the money. I had tried DXM. I drank a bottle(only one) and it made me feel drunk and I couldn't keep my eyes open... I regret doing it. I tried taking pain meds. By far the most disgusting feeling I've ever had. I never wanted to take pain meds for anything ever again after that experience. I tried a bit of cocaine with a friend. We were trying to get some pot and all they had was cocaine so we decided to try it. In all honestly, it wasn't a bad experience. But at the price and knowing the high addiction possibilities I decided to stay away from it.
Finally, I was introduced to mushrooms. I was very intrigued. I had never tried a "psychedelic". So I did my normal research and found out it could be a good and/or bad experience. Knowing that the addiction possibility was pretty much zero I decided to try it. Obviously, it was a mind opening experience. I saw life in a whole new light. I wanted to be a more optimistic person. I wanted to be a positive influence on my friends. I wanted to be more social with my family. At this point in my life I thought. Maybe all drugs have a positive purpose.
Eventually, my friend came back from an underground festival and said I had to go. Explained he had some a crazy amount of drugs and had a blast.
My first festival was a bit frightening. I was confused. How could there be so many people on psychedelics and no police interaction? I decided to try some LSD. Overall, was a fun experience. Similar to mushrooms but definitely its own thing. At this point a lot of people were using ecstasy. Once again I didn't want to get involved without knowing more about it. After doing a lot of research I decided it was not a good idea. The potential for brain damage was nothing I wanted to get involved with. It wasn't until many years later that I finally tried it at a festival and learned that it could be used for a good purpose. But 99% of the people using it... abuse it so much that they permanently cause damage. Even to this day I am torn on this substance. It has so much potential in helping people. But I've seen some things that changed it to a bitter sweet for me.
Lets fast-forward to today. I still smoke pot. I think it has its place. I think it had caused some motivation issues for me. Aside from that, it still helps with depression. It can cause anxiety. But at other times make it go away. I feel this is the one substance that has done the least damage for most people that use anything.
Now, for the fun part. A year ago I met this girl that recently got out of prison. She was sent in for a felony case with pot. Obviously, she had other things in her life that led up to that point. This is what I learned about her...
Her mother was a drug addict. For the most part she drank a ton of alcohol and smoked a lot of crack. Her mother would have had 10 children. She had 6, aborted 2, and the rest were miscarriages. When this girl was born her stomach was bloated from screaming so much from inside womb. This was from her mother smoking crack. She was born addicted... one of her possible fathers took her when she was 5 where she was neglected, physically, and sexually abused. Her sister died from lung disese when she was 11. Her mother showed her a crack pipe when she was 13. At the same time showed her how to make it. In high school she got involved with every possible drug you could encounter. She sold it.. and did everything. She was angry at the world. Angry at why her mother chose drugs over her. Didn't care about anything other than getting faded. She eventually meets a guy that had similar interest. Which lead her to doing heroin.... and we all know what the leads to. Her whole world revolved around putting a needle in her arm. She then gets in trouble with the law and loses everything. (short version) Her husband divorces her while she is in jail for an 18 year old. Gets set up and sent to prison for 9 years.
So this girl gets out of jail and somehow stumbles into my life. The whole thing is staggering. I knew from the start that I should NOT get involved with this girl. I know she is emotionally damaged. Someone who has gotten into opiates is pretty much a lost cause it seems. But what did I do?
The passion and love inside me could not let this girl go. Her personality is like a beautiful light. She has so much energy and optimism. For whatever reason she found an attraction in me. Obviously, someone almost the exact opposite of her. She asks me to stay...and be with her. So a year ago I decided to give it a go.
Since then she has relapsed 3 times. Almost to the point of losing her son. Just went back to jail for theft trying to get money for child support and ...of course opiates.
Tomorrow is her court date. Her preliminary hearing wants to give her drug court. But she could get revoked. She could have to sit longer. She could just get a fine...or maybe even time served... and I stay. I stay because I even in the darkest moments I feel there is still hope. Am I wrong? Should I be here?
Mushrooms has helped me open my eyes. I see that all substances have their place and can help people. However, I see so many individuals that are so focused on "lets get fucked up!". I honestly wish people would understand that there is more to life than getting faded.
I understand that my hate for drugs is jaded. Am I wrong to have a intense hatred for most drugs? Don't get me wrong. I love pot, I love mushrooms. I'll take LSD on occasion. I'll take ecstasy on occasion. I may have a few drinks here and there. But I will not try anything anymore. I am done.
This is kinda how my perspective has changed through the years.
Drugs are BAD> Maybe drugs aren't so bad > Drugs are fun! > All drugs have a purpose > A lot of drugs are not for me > I need to moderate what I do > I don't like a lot of drugs > I really hate most drugs, especially certain ones.
Am I wrong? Should I be more open minded? I understand my point of view is jaded.
In the end of all of this. I think the point is I have always been the responsible one. I've always felt everyone else should do the same thing because of fear. I then found exactly why I had that fear and it solidified those fears.
I wish for anyone that has had substance problems the best! If you are at a point in life that you feel like you need help. Reach out to your loved ones and do what you need to do. Be strong and put faith in the idea that life can be good without always using something.
Wish me luck.
P.S. Mushrooms are awesome! I truly feel they can be used for helping people. There are endless studies that show mushrooms can significantly help people. (even with the bad experiences I have seen)
Why all this confusion in your mind? It usually stems from own life issues, maybe own abuse of drugs?
Maybe you don't moderate your cannabis or mushrooms enough?
Maybe you attract bad people into your life, due to your drug usage?
Weed can sometimes attract certain people into people's lives, people who do heroin, cocaine, more people who do weed etc.
You must be who you want to meet
It is probably not a coincidence you meet a girl that did crack, because you probably met her in a "drug environment"
So it is your actions that caused you to meet her
Maybe get her out of your life politely and sober up yourself?
When you meet people with so many problems and even think of making them your gf, you got severe life issues usually You are too open to try drugs likely..
Weed does that, now only drugs are important, weed is the best thing in the world they say
Suddenly they want to try cocaine, mdma,...
Because weed makes people anarchists, f*** the law, I make my own rules who needs an education? who needs to pay taxes?
etc.. Watch out for overuse of the "harmless weed" , I haven't seen anyone benefit from it yet
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MagicFingers
Stranger


Registered: 04/30/15
Posts: 214
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: The endless frustration with Drugs. [Re: lessismore]
#21902777 - 07/05/15 08:46 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Why all this confusion in your mind? It usually stems from own life issues, maybe own abuse of drugs?
- I used to smoke a lot more pot when I was younger. But honestly I don't really use much of anything anymore aside from that. I may have like a bowl or two a day at most.
Maybe you don't moderate your cannabis or mushrooms enough?
- I moderate pretty well I think. I do mushrooms maybe 2-3 times a year. Even with cultivation I have no issues waiting for a special occasion. I usually won't do anything else unless it is at a festival.
Maybe you attract bad people into your life, due to your drug usage?
Weed can sometimes attract certain people into people's lives, people who do heroin, cocaine, more people who do weed etc.
- I think in this case. Be smoking pot did influence her interest in me. However, when we first met she was more intrigued by how I had no interest in doing drugs. She wanted to stay clean and needed positive influences.
You must be who you want to meet
It is probably not a coincidence you meet a girl that did crack, because you probably met her in a "drug environment"
- I know a lot of people that use various drugs. But I don't get involved with those that mess with opiates, or crack. I don't live in a city so I don't get a lot of exposure to a lot of stuff. But I have friends with do cocaine, adderal, xannax, drink a ton, etc. I just don't get involved with it.
So it is your actions that caused you to meet her
Maybe get her out of your life politely and sober up yourself?
- Truth is. I am quitting smoking. I may do mushrooms on a special occasion but I don't think it will be anytime soon. I haven't been able to afford pot for the past 4 weeks so it's not like it really matters that much right now.
When you meet people with so many problems and even think of making them your gf, you got severe life issues usually You are too open to try drugs likely..
- As mentioned before. I already do it was bad news and wasnt going to get involved. It wasnt until she asked me to. So I decided to give her a chance. On a side note. I have never done heroin, crack, meth, and pretty much anything I haven't mentioned in these posts. I also have no interest in any of it. I would be more than happy if all of those things I just mentioned never existed.
Weed does that, now only drugs are important, weed is the best thing in the world they say
Suddenly they want to try cocaine, mdma,...
Because weed makes people anarchists, f*** the law, I make my own rules who needs an education? who needs to pay taxes?
etc.. Watch out for overuse of the "harmless weed" , I haven't seen anyone benefit from it yet
- In all honesty. You sound like a cop. Who is just as jaded in your own views. I at least educate myself. /color]
-------------------- Live the Life you Love! -MagicFingers

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