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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: Detached]
    #21890647 - 07/02/15 11:14 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

My friend (who's female) swears by using one of these things. It's apparently a nasal bulb syringe that parents normally use to wash boogers out their baby's nose.

She says she fills it up with clean pee, sticks it in her vagina, and then when she sits down she uses her vaginal muscles to squeeze out the clean pee.

Sounds fucking genius, but I have yet to try it and see if it works.



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InvisiblePsychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII Flag
Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: Crystal G] * 1
    #21890662 - 07/02/15 11:16 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:

Sounds fucking genius




No what it sounds like is a great way to get some kind of weird yeast infection from having someone else's urine dribbling through your vagoo.

https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/21883155

Also OP your posts sure are on point lately... :facepalm3:


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21890673 - 07/02/15 11:19 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Psychonautica said:
Quote:

Crystal G said:

Sounds fucking genius




No what it sounds like is a great way to get some kind of weird yeast infection from having someone else's urine dribbling through your vagoo.

https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/21883155

Also OP your posts sure are on point lately... :facepalm3:




Yeah sure, but yeast infections can be fixed with a pill or a suppository. It's a lot better than pissing dirty on a drug test. I'd risk the infection, especially if it was my own piss. :shrug:


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InvisiblePsychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII Flag
Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: Crystal G] * 1
    #21890679 - 07/02/15 11:20 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Eh, forgot who I was talking to anyways.. I'm sure a strangers urine doesn't even cum into the top ten of weirdest shit that's been in your vagina.

Seewutididthar


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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InvisibleMagicman69
All About the Benjamins
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/29/13
Posts: 6,876
Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: luvdemboomers]
    #21890733 - 07/02/15 11:31 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

luvdemboomers said:
Quote:

thewanderer25 said:
It looks just like my dick and I ask him to turn on the water like "I cant pee can you turn on the water it helps" The second he looks away from the fake dick I flip the lever with my pinky and it all comes out I give the whizzinator a shake and put it back in my pants. Its fool proof.




no, it's not

If he for whatever reason becomes suspicious or has a hunch and decides to keep his eye on you (your dick) the whole time you are fucked

not that I care though, just sayin be careful you sound pretty cocky about this



Or says pull your pants\underwear down to your ankles. That's how my friend got caught. Obviously probation officers know about this device. Don't tell anyone about this who is on probation too or else your for sure getting caught.


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OfflineLuSiD enthusiast
Stranger

Registered: 03/14/13
Posts: 4,325
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: Crystal G]
    #21890866 - 07/03/15 12:10 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

Psychonautica said:
Quote:

Crystal G said:

Sounds fucking genius




No what it sounds like is a great way to get some kind of weird yeast infection from having someone else's urine dribbling through your vagoo.

https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/21883155

Also OP your posts sure are on point lately... :facepalm3:




Yeah sure, but yeast infections can be fixed with a pill or a suppository. It's a lot better than pissing dirty on a drug test. I'd risk the infection, especially if it was my own piss. :shrug:



Why risk a yeast infection when you can just not use drugs and pass?:shrug:

The legnths some people are willing to go, and effort, and risk, put into getting high that i see on this site sometimes makes me :facepalm:


--------------------
I'm addicted to coke, weed, booze, ludes and speed.
Not LSD, you can't get addicted to LSD, it was built by scientists.

I ain't got no demons that gonna get woke.


In erowid we trust.

Just take your damn pills and don't ask any questions, you'll be fine.


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InvisiblePsychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII Flag
Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: LuSiD enthusiast]
    #21890884 - 07/03/15 12:16 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

LuSiD enthusiast said:
Why risk a yeast infection when you can just not use drugs and pass?:shrug:

The legnths some people are willing to go, and effort, and risk, put into getting high that i see on this site sometimes makes me :facepalm:




Because drugs are fucking rad.

"why risk a yeast infection having unprotected sex" (you can get a yeast infection in your penis hole, from fucking a dirty girl)

Because sex is fucking awesome and it's totally worth the risks.

Same with drug use.

Combine them both and well, sounds like my kinda party.


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 38 minutes, 36 seconds
Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: thewanderer25]
    #21890923 - 07/03/15 12:28 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

FWIW, I'm extremely bladder shy. I cannot piss even if someone is so much as in a stall. When I was on probation this was a HUGE problem. I'd drink water until it literally felt like my bladder was ripping open and I still wouldn't be able to go. I asked the dude in charge of overseeing the tests if he could turn on the water or something (after many unsuccessful attempts) and he said he's not allowed to do that.

So, I wouldn't count on any tactic involving that. Not saying that they never will, but I wouldn't count it. I'm sure some would break the rules. When in jail, after surgery I couldn't piss. We spent hours in recovery with me trying to piss (they won't release you unless you can) but there was always a CO in the bathroom with me. It came to a point where if I couldn't piss in the next 10 minutes I was getting a catheter. I pretty much begged the guy to just stand outside the door. I pointed out there were no windows, I was shackled and couldn't climb into the ceiling even if it had access (it didn't) and that I wasn't going anywhere. He took pity on me I guess and just stood outside the door.

True I could've lied about being able to go in the first place, but when it's my health/life on the line, I'm not gonna bullshit the doctors.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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Offlinethewanderer25
Special Karma
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Registered: 08/11/13
Posts: 1,642
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21890968 - 07/03/15 12:42 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Psychonautica said:
Quote:

Crystal G said:

Sounds fucking genius




Also OP your posts sure are on point lately... :facepalm3:


Sorry man ive been smoking a good deal of pot. Man I do need to slow down actually im getting more and more paranoid it may be the brownies I ate but im really high. Bro how do you know if your house is bugged like what if my PO has got this whole thing bugged he was like looking around a month ago and some special guy come in. Good god im going back to jail if it is. :eek: There so stupid in there man I hate jail man i hate it. I just need to smoke the rest of my ounce and im good.


--------------------


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Offlinethewanderer25
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Registered: 08/11/13
Posts: 1,642
Loc: Hyperspace
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Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: thewanderer25]
    #21890976 - 07/03/15 12:45 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Does anybody know if it is even legal for the PO and that cop to bug the place like im playing music so I dont think they can here me so im good.


--------------------


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OfflineShroomslip
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Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 38 minutes, 36 seconds
Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: thewanderer25] * 1
    #21890991 - 07/03/15 12:49 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Never mind, still doesn't make a lot of sense, but it at least now doesn't seem completely random.

PO is not going to waste his time bugging your house. End of story.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


Edited by Shroomslip (07/03/15 12:54 AM)


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Offlinemakaveli8x8
Stranger
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Registered: 02/28/06
Posts: 21,636
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21891039 - 07/03/15 01:06 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

they might however be monitoring your internet connection and everything you are saying, just saying, your busted, maybe


--------------------
We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.


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InvisiblePsychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII Flag
Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: makaveli8x8]
    #21891042 - 07/03/15 01:08 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Federales are already on their way.

RiP in Pepperonis OP


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 38 minutes, 36 seconds
Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: makaveli8x8]
    #21891047 - 07/03/15 01:09 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

About the maximum any PO is going to do is actually do the "random" home visits (and then it's only really if it's convenient for them).

POs don't need to go out of their way to catch people up. It's pretty much just a numbers and waiting game for them. They employ other tactics, like not piss testing you for the first half of your probation and then hitting you with one knowing you've grown comfortable.

Generally all they have to do is just wait and let you fuck up on your own, they don't need to go out of their way, so they don't.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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InvisiblePsychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII Flag
Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21891053 - 07/03/15 01:10 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I'll always choose jail over papers.

Every day of the week.

And I spent 90 days in jail and 3 days in a Fed. Pen.

It's still better than papers.


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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Offlinethewanderer25
Special Karma
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Registered: 08/11/13
Posts: 1,642
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: makaveli8x8]
    #21891061 - 07/03/15 01:13 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

makaveli8x8 said:
they might however be monitoring your internet connection and everything you are saying, just saying, your busted, maybe



Well thats a relief because im a good citizen and this was all a joke. haha my PO i got you man i was playing around so no need to piss test me it was a big misunderstanding you see i have done nothing wrong.


--------------------


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Offlinethewanderer25
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Registered: 08/11/13
Posts: 1,642
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Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: thewanderer25]
    #21891076 - 07/03/15 01:18 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Im going to go listen to the dead for as long as necessary. I threw up like 5 minutes ago is that a bad sine? I only had like 2 brownies and 10 bowls. Last time I puked was from a bunch of dabs and edibles.


--------------------


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OfflineShroomslip
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Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 38 minutes, 36 seconds
Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21891087 - 07/03/15 01:22 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Psychonautica said:
I'll always choose jail over papers.

Every day of the week.

And I spent 90 days in jail and 3 days in a Fed. Pen.

It's still better than papers.



I wouldn't.

I know a lot of people see it that way, but fuck, at least on probation I get to decide when to eat, what to eat, when to sleep, what I do with my free time and above all, I'm not caged with a bunch of stupid fucks.

:shrug: If you can't straighten your shit up for awhile, then yeah you should probably just take the jail time. But I'll take the probation 100% of the time. You have even less freedom in jail. When it comes down to it and I'm on probation, I can be a "good boy" and just get through it and do all the stupid shit they want me to do. I thought I could beat the system at one point but quickly learned I couldn't and got my shit straight and stayed straight for the rest of my time.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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InvisiblePsychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII Flag
Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: thewanderer25]
    #21891090 - 07/03/15 01:23 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

thewanderer25 said:
Im going to go listen to the dead for as long as necessary. I threw up like 5 minutes ago is that a bad sine? I only had like 2 brownies and 10 bowls. Last time I puked was from a bunch of dabs and edibles.




Yes, you threw up because your PO put government trackers into your edibles man, he knows.. HE FUCKING KNOWS.

YOU'RE GONNA LISTEN TO THE DEAD OF ALL MUSIC WHEN HE HAS YOUR HOUSE BUGGED MAN?!?! THAT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA.


HE FUCKING KNOWS


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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InvisiblePsychoslut
The Mother Fucking Bear-o-dactyl
 User Gallery

Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 20,917
Loc: all up in ya
Re: I Figured Out How To Pass Probation Drug Testing. [Re: thewanderer25]
    #21891095 - 07/03/15 01:25 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

luvdemboomers said:
seems like a bad idea but it's your ass on the line





You sound like a teenager man, look that bitch straight in the eye, tell them my bags are packed, show the po 500 bucks, tell them this is my plane ticket, i can stay here and keep helping to sign your check, or i can be in washington within 48 hours, dont get hard with me, im not pissing, you aint snitching, and its all going to be ok if you play your cards right.


--------------------



[quote]KristiMidocean said:
Good now thats clear.WHO FUCKING CARES. If I am fat u all keep pointing it out like its suppose to be a secret.LIke u really have nothing better to do then make fat jokes. If o know its like I do I know yall can come up with NEW AND BETTER SHIT . This shit is old and boring . I left in the first place cause this shit got boring not because of the fat jokes . Fat jokes dont bother me but seriously its old[/quote]


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