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SpiritualWarrior
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Psychedics (Ayahuasca, Shrooms) Needed for Healing?
#21887150 - 07/02/15 09:46 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Hey all. I just want to make a thread and ask a question and get this out there. What do you guys think about using aya and shrooms for healing mental illness or trauma? Will this help or will it make it worse?
I did the aya last year... I suffered from paranoia in the past, delusional thinking which let my life down a very deep pit. For 3-5 years I was caught in this endless cycle where I thought I was in some kind of reality where everything was focused on me, and it was always about something bad which was going to happen to me. This led to me attempting suicide 2 or 3 times., which I was unsuccessful thank god (maybe I should of died tho I feel). I got very heavily into religion after that, started going to church. But I became very very indoctrinated, brainwashed. I stopped going 3 years later because I realized that it was stressing me out more and more and was too difficult to remain going to church, and that it even made my mental illness worse. This is because my mental illness or paranoia always revolved around me dying in some horrible fasion by people or people controlled by aliens (which I thought were demons) . Now, my church is crazy and believes in this thing called martydom and they hail these suicidal people as great men and women because they were killed in horrific fashion for their faith, and it was always because of "the devil" that this happened, as the stories which i read and heard about described, I was heavily indoctrinated... All while I believed I was demon possessed or had demons inside my body - which I believe is something, but the christian doctrine I was taught was that I was a horrible human being who was for sure going to hell, because i had "tarnished baptism" which is a spiritual cleansing of my body. I had let the "demons" inside my body... Oh yeah about that martyrdom thing, it wasn't even that it was more like I believed I would be sacrificed to satan. Yeah blame Alex Jones and bohemian grove conspiracies for that one...This is just to give you an idea of the kind of mindset I was in and what kind of things I've been through. I distanced myself from that by not going to church and from becoming more secular, I still feel fucked up cause of certain things, mainly the fact I have no real friends. In the past I believed people (and family too) were evil and controlled by the devil, making me extremely reclusive...The fact I was so alienated makes me feel crazy. I do have the internet, a couple of "friends" talk on the phone with who live in another state (not real), but its just insane how for so long its like I got no people really...
I don't know who else to talk to about this and need to get all this shit out, I haven't told anyone really about this stuff who is at least a little spiritual. My question has to do with whether using aya or shrooms is a good idea. The only thing is last time I did aya I felt kinda crazy afterwards, i think some shrooms would be what i would try since they're not as strong. What do you think? I feel i've fucked my life up bad.
I'm 25 btw, I could tell you more about my story if you want to hear it. Probably sounds really crazy to you tho I'm sure. I wanna be on that show I saw on netflix called "I escaped a cult". Did I tell you my mom is crazy too but like 100 times worse than me? Yeah, 6 years ago she tried to burn herself by lighting herself on fire with gasoline cause she thought she was saving the world or something. I had to put the fire out. Burned over 60 percent of her body. After that I didn't know wtf to think and that's when i started losing it...Yeah craziest shit you've ever read isn't it?
Edited by SpiritualWarrior (07/02/15 10:01 AM)
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Thunderbird310
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Re: Psychedics (Ayahuasca, Shrooms) Needed for Healing? [Re: SpiritualWarrior]
#21887219 - 07/02/15 09:58 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Nobody here can really say if you should try any visionary plant hallucinogens. You know yourself better than anyone can. Sounds like you just need to put yourself in better situations for meeting new people. I'm not sure what kind of work you do, but that is usually a good place to start to meet people. If you are still suffering from some form of depression, I would highly recommend doing yoga followed by meditation. The yoga helps get your body relaxed and gets you in synch with your breath so you can get to a meditative state. Try it first thing in the morning after you shower. 15 minutes of yoga followed by 5-10 minutes meditation. Try it for 30 days and you will feel really good. Also, spend some time outdoors. Nature will help you get centered. Try to remember that you are a amazing unique person and you deserve happiness.
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SpiritualWarrior
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Re: Psychedics (Ayahuasca, Shrooms) Needed for Healing? [Re: Thunderbird310]
#21887298 - 07/02/15 10:17 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I do have a job now by some act of God or something. Its like, the first legit job I've ever had. I'm like, 4 days into it. Its a sales associate at a dollar store where i run register sometimes... Its gonna be stressful this next week cause its 30 hours.
Yeah, I'm an amazing unique person, I get it. Its just not really that simple. Its difficult for me to make conversation with people I don't know... It was that way in high school. I was homeschooled for all but 2 years of high school which I failed miserably at. I'm just really freakin quiet and can't act in front of people, and im a super perfectionist. I guess I lack confidence. I think I need caffeine or kratom or something to give me that, or even beer... Maybe weed, but weed makes me paranoid.
I feel kinda fucked up in the head in a way too cause I always think I know "the truth", it makes me judge people or think certain ways. I don't even know what I want out of people or even if I do how the hell to get it.
Yeah and that meditation thing helps... But in my religion, we have that meditation and its called the jesus prayer. Its just like meditation but its saying a short phrase... If i try to meditate, I will most likely try and do that since I've done it so many times... I believe that there is power in it, as I've seen small miracles done in Jesus name and have gained the "prayer of the heart" which is said at every minute of the day. It makes me feel weird whever somebody sneezes or yawns in front of me and I think its because of that name of "Jesus". Like I know the Bible says a lot about that name, but its so weird how it does its thing its like some magic word or something... And then you think "oh its chasing away bad spirits". Like really? Damn that's gonna be hard to live with. I should just ignore it I guess. I been trying to.
Yeah and btw I'm really bad with women and like ultra "beta". So gay and lame, I know. Wtf do I do about that.
Edited by SpiritualWarrior (07/02/15 10:35 AM)
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Thunderbird310
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Re: Psychedics (Ayahuasca, Shrooms) Needed for Healing? [Re: SpiritualWarrior] 1
#21887616 - 07/02/15 11:53 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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You have to stop affirming the negatives. By saying " I lack confidence and" whatnot, you are affirming that you lack confidence. Instead you need to say to God or whatever you believe I am confident. You don't need weed or beer to make you confident. Confidence is gained by the pursuit and achievement of goals and through inner strength. You have to intentionally focus on only positive things. When a negative though creeps in your mind immediately replace it with something positive. It's really quite simple. You are only capable of having either positive or negative thoughts at one time. Just try it. I personally do not believe in the bible. The bible teaches us that we are imperfect and full of sin which I beleive is false. Just stay positive and you will be fine. I know it might sound hard, but just focus on little things, like the weather is nice, I like this song etc. it is a snowball affect. The more you tryp, the better things will get. If you want to meet girls, there are always plenty of chicks online looking to meet guys. A lot of them are like you, just be careful of the crazy bitches.
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Deviate
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Re: Psychedics (Ayahuasca, Shrooms) Needed for Healing? [Re: SpiritualWarrior]
#21890597 - 07/02/15 11:04 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
SpiritualWarrior said: I do have a job now by some act of God or something. Its like, the first legit job I've ever had. I'm like, 4 days into it. Its a sales associate at a dollar store where i run register sometimes... Its gonna be stressful this next week cause its 30 hours.
Yeah, I'm an amazing unique person, I get it. Its just not really that simple. Its difficult for me to make conversation with people I don't know... It was that way in high school. I was homeschooled for all but 2 years of high school which I failed miserably at. I'm just really freakin quiet and can't act in front of people, and im a super perfectionist. I guess I lack confidence. I think I need caffeine or kratom or something to give me that, or even beer... Maybe weed, but weed makes me paranoid.
I feel kinda fucked up in the head in a way too cause I always think I know "the truth", it makes me judge people or think certain ways. I don't even know what I want out of people or even if I do how the hell to get it.
Yeah and that meditation thing helps... But in my religion, we have that meditation and its called the jesus prayer. Its just like meditation but its saying a short phrase... If i try to meditate, I will most likely try and do that since I've done it so many times... I believe that there is power in it, as I've seen small miracles done in Jesus name and have gained the "prayer of the heart" which is said at every minute of the day. It makes me feel weird whever somebody sneezes or yawns in front of me and I think its because of that name of "Jesus". Like I know the Bible says a lot about that name, but its so weird how it does its thing its like some magic word or something... And then you think "oh its chasing away bad spirits". Like really? Damn that's gonna be hard to live with. I should just ignore it I guess. I been trying to.
Yeah and btw I'm really bad with women and like ultra "beta". So gay and lame, I know. Wtf do I do about that.
You sound very very much like me sir. I also am a practioner of the Jesus prayer. What religion are you may I ask? I recommend you read the Philokalia if you havent done so already.
I also believe in the healing power of sacred plants and mushrom. Ive been using them to heal myself lately, with good though at times diapointing results. I say disapointing because I find it hard to make some things stick. For instance after my last cactus trip I felt so confident lik a totally new man. But then a few days later i found my old negative tendencies coming back.
but they havent come back quite as strong as they were before, so i think the medicine helps. But I also think it can take quite some time and experience to learn to use these medicines properly. Ideally they should only be used under the guidance of a shaman/experienced person who can show you the ropes.
Also keep in mind they are only keys which open the doors of perception to a higher realm allowing the healing to flow in where it was previously bocked. But it ain't the plant that is doing the healing, it is the spiritually power the plant has allowed you to access. This power comes from God, so God is alwyas our master physician. In my experience the problem is we have fogotten how to open to God to allow him to heak us. We have forgotten God's ways and God's power. sacred plants can help us to remember. But only you (or perhaps a shaman, guru or spiritual director) can decide that for you.
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SpiritualWarrior
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Re: Psychedics (Ayahuasca, Shrooms) Needed for Healing? [Re: Deviate]
#21890949 - 07/03/15 12:36 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Its Eastern Christianity (EO). I just consider it ancient Christianity. A lot of profound things in there, very profound. Its just its ancient, it has a lot to do with death, and it makes me kinda scared. Fear is the big problem in my life and I don't want to be afraid anymore...
I know that the plants have sacredness to them, but its still kind of a mystery to me that this is really true. I've heard of ppl having what they call exorcisms on psilocybin mushrooms...I would think that those would be the best thing to take if anything. I have a guy I know who is growing shrooms, I will have to buy some from him and try it with him... I can't do it alone cause last time I did the aya alone I felt crazy. It helped me get out of "the matrix" I felt I was in tho and was worth it. But I just felt this crazy feeling of eternality which freaked me out a lot, like I had no body, it sucked. I felt like I was dead and just a soul.. And It was like a weed high but 100 times more mind opening.
I really love kratom tho, its probably my favorite drug of all time. Have you tried it yet? You really need to man. Sure its not like spiritual, but you feel this warmth its like pure love. I would give this stuff to people with PTSD or some other kind of trauma, its good for you psychologically.
I replied to you before I'm surprised you don't remember . It has been a while I guess. I just don't know man psychedelics make me feel like I can get delusional, even tho they're God's plants, I just don't know if I'm good enough to try them (or at least DMT). I still have some paranoia occationally, and the scarring from my past is still there. I need to get my faith in people again, if its possible. Being by myself isn't good. I'm thinking I need a girlfriend to help me with this.
Edited by SpiritualWarrior (07/03/15 12:46 AM)
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Deviate
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Re: Psychedics (Ayahuasca, Shrooms) Needed for Healing? [Re: SpiritualWarrior]
#21891055 - 07/03/15 01:12 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I have a very poor short term memory from years and years of abusing drugs so don't be surprised. To be honest I have no idea who you are not any recollection of speaking to you before, ha ha.
I like kratom also and I actually do think it has some spiritual/introspective effects.
Personally since you are Christian, I would not recommend you take either the San Pedro cactus or the Aminita Muscaria mushroom or both (but not simultaneously).
First of all, if you sya you have problems with going crazy on ayahuasca that is because feeling crazy is a common effect of the typtamines. Mushrooms have made me feel crazy at times also, but it really only bothered me the first few times. Now ive done em enough to know I wont actually go crazy, at least not for very long, so I just allow the feelings to come and to pass. Dont give too much power/attention to the thoghts which enter your mind. Love them and honor them but dont believe them or think they represent anything lasting.
Now psychedelic cactus on the other hand, on low to medium doses your mind will be very clear and relaxed. You will not feel so crazy and you will be very easily able to interact with people and the world, unlike the confusion produced by the great psilocybin mushroom. In addition, cactus has a history of Christian use by native americans and is capable of opening the heart which is why they call it San Pedro.
Mushrooms are good for destroying the ego and showing you the realm of the gods, aliens, other dimension, crazy thing like this but not so good for opening the heart. As Christians, we must strive to live as a heart centered a life a we can, allowing Christ to rise in us and how will he rise in us if our heart is not open for him no matter how much mushroom knowledge and wisdom we attain?
The other mushroom I recommend is the aminita muscaria. THis mushroom is the most powerful of all the entheogens, though I like to use it in low doses several time a weak. While psilocybin mushroom represent the expanding force, the aminita represents the contracting force. I find it to be an essential key in my own medicine practice because it helps to balance the effects of all the expanding psychedelic drug I have done.
Another wonderful shamanic sacrament I mustn't forget to recommend to you is kava. This is known as the plant of peace and it is said that it connects one to the realm of the gods. kava relaxes you and frees you from fear and anxiety while leaving your mind clear. Since half the spiritual path is simply learning how to relax and let things be, kava is tremendous ally especally for us psychedelic usres because psychedelic experiences are so profound they tend to provoke anxiety even if they are wholly positive. It is very important to get your kava from a good soure though and then you want to experiment with different doses for a few days becaause of reverse tolerance.
And learn to confront fear. Yay though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil, etc etc. There ain't nothing to be afraid of in life. I feel stupid saying that because i have social anxiety and fear social situations but simultaneously i feel that the fear is irrational.
Anywya, I wish you safe, sacred and healing in your journeying. Be careful if you decide to do high doses of aminita, its not as non toxic to the body as psilos.
Edited by Deviate (07/03/15 01:13 AM)
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Deviate
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Re: Psychedics (Ayahuasca, Shrooms) Needed for Healing? [Re: Deviate]
#21891085 - 07/03/15 01:22 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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one final tip - what works for me is listening to native american peyote healing music while i trip mescaline.
my advice is to totally surrender to the experience or as much as you can. if you troubled by thoughts, simply direct your attention back to the music. Soon you will find that you are no longer focused on thought but you are now directly experiencing the music. this is when it will begin to heal you/summon spirits which will heal you. THis is grat because i feel like I am learning how to use San Pedro.
For me a big problem with psychedelics is feeling like I just dont know how best to utilize the energy they offer. Like I dont really know how best to trip mushrooms for healing.
ps if anyone knows of some mushroom healing music or mushroom rituals or whatever works for mushrooms please share.
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SpiritualWarrior
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Re: Psychedics (Ayahuasca, Shrooms) Needed for Healing? [Re: Deviate]
#21891763 - 07/03/15 08:44 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Yeah thanks for the advice. I was thinking of that A. Muscaria mushroom to maybe try, they are legal and I can get them anywhere online. I just thought they were poisonous to some and I read on erowid of people having really bad trips on them.
Kava... That is interesting to know. I heard about that before and I did some research, kava can be bad for your liver if taken too much. The same goes for kratom, its kind of rare I heard and you got to be predisposed for it to give you liver problems. Just a heads up there.. I like kratom a lot I think its wonderful. Would hate to think I might be overdoing it though and ruining my health.
You say you don't know how to utilize them for healing. Well I think it is very hard for anyone to know, even if they weren't conditioned in a Western environment. Shamans, the tribes in South America probably aren't perfect in their understanding of this either. I honestly think this is a reason for Jesus. These drugs will give us tremendous insight into things of the spiritual realm, but they can't give us the type of Peace that is above any on this world or get us into Heaven like He can.
When I'm thinking healing, I'm thinking healing from past things, becoming a new person psychologically. I think I've already don't that with oral dmt, but it wasn't such a good experience and still more work to be done maybe... Either that or trypping will make me worse than before. Maybe I should stay away from entheogens or hallinogens. I'm afraid of delusion is what I'm afraid of. Really its like a feeling of being "lost" or "out there" in what I call "the void". That is what I felt while on ayahuasca.
Your short term memory really is taht bad? How old are you dude, what did you fry your short term out with psyches? I have no idea the kind of life you live, but I have super good short term memory. There's this brain training game from android I just downloaded, maybe you should try it.
Edited by SpiritualWarrior (07/03/15 08:47 AM)
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Deviate
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Re: Psychedics (Ayahuasca, Shrooms) Needed for Healing? [Re: SpiritualWarrior]
#21894445 - 07/03/15 08:43 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I am 31 and I fried my memory with weed and benzos. Mostly the benzos, but weed certainly didnt help. I have been clean off benzos for 6 years in august but my memory never fully recovered.
I know exactly what you mean by feeling lost "out there". I got that same feeling from smoking too much DMT as well as if i take dissociatives.
Basically I feel that these drugs can sometimes cause an imbalanced spiritual realization, so you see/realize something is true about life but your brain/body are not in sync with it so you have to suffer from knowing what you know rather than being able to enjoy it. You feel stuck floating in space without a sense of self or love or feeling grounded in your body or your mind able to enter your heart. Yeah, I can relate.
That is why kava and aminita has been so helpful for me. They have helped me to feel from the negative side effects of all the classical pyschedelics I have eaten.
You see, kava helps with the anxiety that heavy psychedelic trips or heavy cannabis smoking can leave you with but not in an unconscious way. You stay aware and lucid but you are not so troubled by the thinking mind. What an amazing plant. You see, it doesnt make you trip or cause hallucinations or crazy experiences like that (unless you take way way way too much it can be dissociative in higher dose). So yeah, I recommend kava. You will feel like you are on a tropical island dude. It totally contains and carries with it the spirit of the pacific islands.
Aminitas.. I recommend you use low doses of these things. They are wonderful because unlike regular psychedelics, you can use these things every single day and they work great at low doses. You wont really trip from a low dose, you will just feel very good and connected with nature and conscious of God. They actually burn up all the illusion that separates you from the creator and you can either do this a lot at a time with a big high dose or very slowly, and gently with frequent low dose.
Now the other special thing about the aminita is that does another amazing thing which is that it compresses time and consciousness rather than expanding it. So in that sense, it is the total opposite of DMT. You will not feel like your awareness has been stretched across the universe. It is the contracting force, which balances the expanding.
In me, these two forces were out of balance, in part because of all the psychedelics I have. AMinita helped to pull my consciousness back and ground it in my body and in my heart. It also opens your chakras and heals you but it is so so so much more gentle (at low doses) than the classical psychedelics. I dont feel like I just sent my brain through a car wash like I do after a big classical psychedelic trip.
So yeah, for you I recommend experimenting with low doses of aminita and kava. I really believe in the healing power of these plants, but alwways remember Christ is your true physician. The plants simply help you receive what God is always offering you.
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SpiritualWarrior
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Re: Psychedics (Ayahuasca, Shrooms) Needed for Healing? [Re: Deviate]
#21895543 - 07/04/15 03:48 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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i ordered some kava... Don't take too much same for the kratom. I took too much kratom and caffeine and had no sleep. My day at work was pretty shitty. Plus I got written up for going 6 dollars under at the register. Sucks. I don't like the "uppers" I want to be on "downers", because I am not a calm person around people and I suck at talking to them.
I really don't think taking anything which makes me feel different or as incredibly mind altering as pscyhedelics is a good thing for people who want to have a "normal" life. Heck, being "spiritual" may not necessarily be a good thing, cause you have to actually use your logical brain to do the work. Something I'm not too good at doing sometimes. I'm just saying, I don't feel that confortable in taking them seeing I have to work now, I want to do something with my life for the first time since I was 18 and went to high school which I dropped out of. I feel i've gone down a crazy, bizzare road, wasted much of my time.
That's just the negative aspect of it, kinda what I've been thinking about. How does one integrate such beliefs into everyday life and still think yourself normal or even sane? Maybe its just me trying to people please and not be pleasing to God, but I've always been that way, its part of my anxiety disorder. I just feel so "fried" and talking to people is a real drag. People told me that I was "burnt", last year. Why would taking more drugs be a good thing? Lol. I mean more psychedelics, not the calming kind of drugs.
Do you have instant messenger, skype or anythingn like that? Don't tell me you dont. I remember talking to you last and you said you had facebook but never got on it. I even added you if I remember correctly. You should be able to heal those pathways in your brain. If opiates really do that then I guess kratom can do the same thing. This is bad. Maybe I should stop using it.
Edited by SpiritualWarrior (07/04/15 03:54 AM)
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Deviate
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Re: Psychedics (Ayahuasca, Shrooms) Needed for Healing? [Re: SpiritualWarrior]
#21895561 - 07/04/15 04:00 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I have skype. PM me and I will give you my skype name if youd like.
I can relate to not feeling normal and I cant talk well to people either. It frustrated me to no end for so many years but I just dont really care that much anymore. I gave up on wanting/expecting anything good in my life socially.
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HalfOwlHalfShroom
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Re: Psychedics (Ayahuasca, Shrooms) Needed for Healing? [Re: Deviate]
#21899677 - 07/05/15 04:27 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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As others said, you can't continue to feed the negativity. Your mind has 2 wolves, one is good and one is bad. Which one wins? The one that you feed...
Law of attraction is very real and even if you don't believe so, ask yourself how likely talking about how much this sucks or that sucks about your life is gonna change it? How many people truly get to where they wanna go while believing and reassuring themselves they won't make it?
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glimpee
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Re: Psychedics (Ayahuasca, Shrooms) Needed for Healing? [Re: HalfOwlHalfShroom]
#21901183 - 07/05/15 01:56 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I didnt read your whole post. sorry if I miss your point
Hallucinogens can either hurt or help - it depends on the person and their environment.
They are not needed for healing though. Anything that can be achieved with psychedelics can be achieved without them. Even if the drug influences your mental processes, everything is still created within you. You just need to learn how to tap into control of perception/self.
In terms of how to do this without drugs - I don't know. People vouch for meditation, but it's hard to say if they achieve the same thing. I do know that after using LSD and Shrooms, I am able to recreate many of the minor experiences/perceptions I had, except while I'm sober.
I was actually able to convince myself I was tripping when it turns out I just ate regular candy. The trip lasted 4 hours, or until I TRUELY realized the candy was fake.
The only things that blocks possibilities are doubt, ignorance, and arrogance. Remove yourself from preconceived notions, keep an open mind, let the universe take you over, and you will heal. This is of course very metaphorical and anti-literal - but whats interesting about spiritual metaphors is that their literal meanings often also apply.
Ill talk more about stuff like this if you desire
-------------------- Just because I am arrogant does not mean I forget my place. It is how I choose to talk. I am not a monk. I am my own path, and I am without influence. Talk to me about my core being before you question my mental stability or life-choices. Chances are, they're only shocking to you because they don't fit your idea of what is.
Check out my Art Journal for some stuff I do http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/21647069
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SpiritualWarrior
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Re: Psychedics (Ayahuasca, Shrooms) Needed for Healing? [Re: HalfOwlHalfShroom]
#21901314 - 07/05/15 02:31 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
HalfOwlHalfShroom said: As others said, you can't continue to feed the negativity. Your mind has 2 wolves, one is good and one is bad. Which one wins? The one that you feed...
Law of attraction is very real and even if you don't believe so, ask yourself how likely talking about how much this sucks or that sucks about your life is gonna change it? How many people truly get to where they wanna go while believing and reassuring themselves they won't make it?
This isn't really my point but yeah I get that idea. But fuck I've always been doubting myself. This is the reason all the shit I describe happened to me. I'm just saying I'm better now, but not completely. Maybe need something else.
An yeah, positive thinking is very important, how you think of yourself too is important. I've always been the kind to look down at myself. I can't really describe why and I will even think that this is "normal" to be this way. Its really not.
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Deviate
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Re: Psychedics (Ayahuasca, Shrooms) Needed for Healing? [Re: SpiritualWarrior]
#21902867 - 07/05/15 09:09 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
SpiritualWarrior said:
Quote:
HalfOwlHalfShroom said: As others said, you can't continue to feed the negativity. Your mind has 2 wolves, one is good and one is bad. Which one wins? The one that you feed...
Law of attraction is very real and even if you don't believe so, ask yourself how likely talking about how much this sucks or that sucks about your life is gonna change it? How many people truly get to where they wanna go while believing and reassuring themselves they won't make it?
This isn't really my point but yeah I get that idea. But fuck I've always been doubting myself. This is the reason all the shit I describe happened to me. I'm just saying I'm better now, but not completely. Maybe need something else.
An yeah, positive thinking is very important, how you think of yourself too is important. I've always been the kind to look down at myself. I can't really describe why and I will even think that this is "normal" to be this way. Its really not.
I am the same way, I have never really understood why but I feel like part of it has to do with how life has always seemed like an absolutely ridiculous dream/mystery/anomaly to me. I have never gotten over my shock at the fact that I exist and that life is how it is. For this reason I have alkways felt like an outsider, peering into life from another dimension while somehow other people seem to feel like they belong here.
I have also never figured out how to be "cool" or wear fashionable clothes or meet the expectations of others in a variety of ways. Living am entire lifetime like this does some serious damage to the psyche in my experience and creates very deepset feelings of inadequacy and low self confidence.
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SpiritualWarrior
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Registered: 09/15/13
Posts: 437
Last seen: 1 year, 5 days
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Re: Psychedics (Ayahuasca, Shrooms) Needed for Healing? [Re: Deviate]
#21907307 - 07/06/15 09:21 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Deviate said:
Quote:
SpiritualWarrior said:
Quote:
HalfOwlHalfShroom said: As others said, you can't continue to feed the negativity. Your mind has 2 wolves, one is good and one is bad. Which one wins? The one that you feed...
Law of attraction is very real and even if you don't believe so, ask yourself how likely talking about how much this sucks or that sucks about your life is gonna change it? How many people truly get to where they wanna go while believing and reassuring themselves they won't make it?
This isn't really my point but yeah I get that idea. But fuck I've always been doubting myself. This is the reason all the shit I describe happened to me. I'm just saying I'm better now, but not completely. Maybe need something else.
An yeah, positive thinking is very important, how you think of yourself too is important. I've always been the kind to look down at myself. I can't really describe why and I will even think that this is "normal" to be this way. Its really not.
I am the same way, I have never really understood why but I feel like part of it has to do with how life has always seemed like an absolutely ridiculous dream/mystery/anomaly to me. I have never gotten over my shock at the fact that I exist and that life is how it is. For this reason I have alkways felt like an outsider, peering into life from another dimension while somehow other people seem to feel like they belong here.
I have also never figured out how to be "cool" or wear fashionable clothes or meet the expectations of others in a variety of ways. Living am entire lifetime like this does some serious damage to the psyche in my experience and creates very deepset feelings of inadequacy and low self confidence.
Yeah man, maybe its drugs that make some people so different. Or it could be you were made that way. But either way what you have is a strength but it can also be a weakness. Self confidence should be everything. Maybe its kinda "sinful", but everything is a sin in this world just about. I think ppl like you have an advanced understanding of the universe tho.
Did you go to public school? That must of been fun man. I was homeschooled for most of my life. Plus I had two older brothers I always followed around, did drugs with them. That was just a way to let out angst I think.
The reason you see other people like that is you have other beliefs, maybe you're way too over-conscious of things, words or actions. You analyse things too much.
Edited by SpiritualWarrior (07/06/15 09:22 PM)
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