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OfflineBjorn_Stormcrow
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Registered: 09/27/12
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going clean and sober... ish
    #21881243 - 07/01/15 01:32 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

so i've been thinking for a little while now about quitting smoking again (don't believe my signature, its a lying whore). and along with that i'm considering giving up alchahol (for the most part)
I've been cutting back on my drinking a LOT recently, gone from getting drunk practically every night a couple years ago, down to once a week or so, and then recently MAYBE once a month.
I'm just not feeling it anymore, getting drunk hasn't had any real appeal to me for a very long time, it was just something I did when bored. and now all i'm getting from it is a hangover and some pretty severe depression the next day.
like every time I get drunk I end up feeling borderline suicidal for the next day, sometimes even two... and that shit just aint worth it anymore.

I might still have the odd beer with dinner every now and again, or a drink on the beach, I think this last time I got drunk was just the final sign I needed that i've gotten everything out of it I could have and theres nothing of interest in it for me anymore.

The smoking is gonna be a much harder battle, but should be easier without the drinking (I'm down to 4 or 5 cigarettes a day normally, but easily double that if I'm drinking)


--------------------
Live Mythically



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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Bjorn_Stormcrow]
    #21881263 - 07/01/15 01:38 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I've been thinking about looking and going to an aa meeting. I mean I'm 2 years clean of heroin and drugs in general but have been slipping hard on alcohol.

I was reading this really great article. They shouldn't call it addiction they should call it bonding. We all crave human interaction. Or you'll bond with drugs or ya know whatever. Gambling whatever gives you the I don't feel so alone anymore chemical.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Enjoywho]
    #21881294 - 07/01/15 01:47 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Just Googled it there's a place a 4 minute walk away. I think I'm going to attend one with a beer in my water bottle. Who knows I might meet some good people. I'll have to call tomorrow and find out when they meet.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Invisibleshadyy
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Posts: 21,330
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Bjorn_Stormcrow]
    #21881312 - 07/01/15 01:51 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

so in other words you've turned into a pussy


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Enjoywho] * 1
    #21881317 - 07/01/15 01:53 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Enjoywho said:
Just Googled it there's a place a 4 minute walk away. I think I'm going to attend one with a beer in my water bottle. Who knows I might meet some good people. I'll have to call tomorrow and find out when they meet.



:thefuckisthis:


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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Invisibleshadyy
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21881323 - 07/01/15 01:55 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

it's really not a big deal, everyone does it


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: shadyy]
    #21881330 - 07/01/15 01:57 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

First you need to learn how to spell alcohol before you can get out of its butt raping addictive qualities


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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Offlinegrandmaster_zach
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Registered: 10/03/14
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: shadyy]
    #21881334 - 07/01/15 01:58 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

For me it was always hard to compartmentalize my drug use (or abuse more like). I've always told myself that if I only get high once a week, or only take pills instead of drink, etc etc then I can get a grip on my addiction and be able to deal with it on my own. but in reality it just doesn't seem to work anywhere nearly as well as complete sobriety.

obviously we're different people and different shit works for us, but if I were you i'd try a few months just completely off all drugs. see how you like it. you can always come back, but you'll probably realize that drugs aren't really all that great. then you can come back to using and i would guess it would be far less frequent than what you're doing now (though it sounds like you use pretty infrequently as it is).

also switching to e-cigs is a godsend for quitting smoking. completely solved my tobacco addiction. i'm sure it's not great for your lungs, but i don't wheeze or wake up coughing like I used to anymore. just a suggestion.


--------------------
When you walk around with dog shit on your shoe, the whole world is gonna smell. Reach down, scrape off the shit, and enjoy the fresh scent of the earth.


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OfflineBjorn_Stormcrow
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: grandmaster_zach]
    #21881350 - 07/01/15 02:04 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

shadyy said:
so in other words you've turned into a pussy




yup, total pussy who is sick of doing things that just make me feel like shit afterwards.

Quote:

Rebelutionsssss said:
First you need to learn how to spell alcohol before you can get out of its butt raping addictive qualities




I've tried, its one of those words that I've NEVER  been able to spell properly. no matter how many times I try and spell it properly it just never looks right to me.

Quote:

grandmaster_zach said:
For me it was always hard to compartmentalize my drug use (or abuse more like). I've always told myself that if I only get high once a week, or only take pills instead of drink, etc etc then I can get a grip on my addiction and be able to deal with it on my own. but in reality it just doesn't seem to work anywhere nearly as well as complete sobriety.

obviously we're different people and different shit works for us, but if I were you i'd try a few months just completely off all drugs. see how you like it. you can always come back, but you'll probably realize that drugs aren't really all that great. then you can come back to using and i would guess it would be far less frequent than what you're doing now (though it sounds like you use pretty infrequently as it is).

also switching to e-cigs is a godsend for quitting smoking. completely solved my tobacco addiction. i'm sure it's not great for your lungs, but i don't wheeze or wake up coughing like I used to anymore. just a suggestion.




Haven't touched any drugs other than tobacco and alcohol (still looks fucking weird to me man) in at least 3 years. but I do agree with you, if i'm going to quit these I'll have to go completely clean for at least a few months. the booze i'm not actually that worried about since i've put it down for months at a time before without any problems, but drinking is what got me back smoking after my last time where i'd quit for 3 months.
So until I know for sure that i've got the smoking licked its just safer to avoid everything.


--------------------
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OfflineFreeTheSoul
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Registered: 01/04/14
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: grandmaster_zach]
    #21881351 - 07/01/15 02:04 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

No you just switched the form of your addiction, Its like choosing liquor vs beer. A e cig still has nicotine. Unless you dont use it with nicotine juice, and if that's the case congrats.


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Invisibleshadyy
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Bjorn_Stormcrow]
    #21881361 - 07/01/15 02:07 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I wasn't serious, just throwing you some tough love

hope it all works out
amen


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13


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Offlinegrandmaster_zach
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: FreeTheSoul]
    #21881362 - 07/01/15 02:07 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

FreeTheSoul said:
No you just switched the form of your addiction, Its like choosing liquor vs beer. A e cig still has nicotine. Unless you dont use it with nicotine juice, and if that's the case congrats.




Yeah I for sure just switched addictions but it's not like switching from beer to liquor at all. Tobacco and vape juice are two completely different animals. I'm sure vapes damage your lungs in some way but you can't argue that it's as harmful as tobacco, that's just ridiculous. I still do other drugs so the nicotine is the least of my worries. I'm just glad I have lungs that work now.


--------------------
When you walk around with dog shit on your shoe, the whole world is gonna smell. Reach down, scrape off the shit, and enjoy the fresh scent of the earth.


Edited by grandmaster_zach (07/01/15 02:09 AM)


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: grandmaster_zach]
    #21881382 - 07/01/15 02:13 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Lots of hate. Dudes thinking about cleaning up. Be supportive. Sheesh. It is a full moon tonight no wonder all you are acting crazy.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Registered: 07/23/14
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: grandmaster_zach]
    #21881385 - 07/01/15 02:15 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

:lol: I was exactly like that with trying to spell cigarettes for the longest fucking time. I should probably cut back with you man. Sometimes at the end of the day the amount of narcotics I ingest just astounds me.


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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OfflineBjorn_Stormcrow
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #21881391 - 07/01/15 02:16 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

grandmaster_zach said:
Quote:

FreeTheSoul said:
No you just switched the form of your addiction, Its like choosing liquor vs beer. A e cig still has nicotine. Unless you dont use it with nicotine juice, and if that's the case congrats.




Yeah I for sure just switched addictions but it's not like switching from beer to liquor at all. Tobacco and vape juice are two completely different animals. I'm sure vapes damage your lungs in some way but you can't argue that it's as harmful as tobacco, that's just ridiculous. I still do other drugs so the nicotine is the least of my worries. I'm just glad I have lungs that work now.




Gods how I miss that, my lungs are fucking shot. I know the damage can never be 100% repaired, but I want to stop before its too late, and I want to be able to do things like run again without feeling like i'm going to die.

Quote:

Rebelutionsssss said:
:lol: I was exactly like that with trying to spell cigarettes for the longest fucking time. I should probably cut back with you man. Sometimes at the end of the day the amount of narcotics I ingest just astounds me.




no worries man, I didn't take it personally.


--------------------
Live Mythically



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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21881407 - 07/01/15 02:24 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Lots of hate. Dudes thinking about cleaning up. Be supportive. Sheesh. It is a full moon tonight no wonder all you are acting crazy.
Quote:

Shroomslip said:
Quote:

Enjoywho said:
Just Googled it there's a place a 4 minute walk away. I think I'm going to attend one with a beer in my water bottle. Who knows I might meet some good people. I'll have to call tomorrow and find out when they meet.



:thefuckisthis:




I gotta taper. Ive had to do it many times the past 2 years. Shit will kill you. It put my ass in the hospital when I was having an anxiety attack. Heart rate reached over 200 bpm. Finally ived me some benzos. I could finally breathe again. I've never had anxiety beside being an anxious teenager. Alcohol wds are no joke. Far worse than heroin.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Enjoywho] * 1
    #21881419 - 07/01/15 02:29 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

The whole purpose of going to AA is to get sober. You don't fucking take alcohol into AA. You're wasting yours and everyone else's time.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflineBjorn_Stormcrow
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Shroomslip] * 1
    #21881428 - 07/01/15 02:34 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I'm not a huge fan of AA. it never worked worth a damn for me, in fact it did more harm than good. the whole "your powerless" message just didn't sit right with me and only made my issues worse. but it does work for a LOT of people, but if your going to work the program, then you need to work the program, taking booze in is just insulting to the program and everyone else in it.


--------------------
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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Bjorn_Stormcrow]
    #21881440 - 07/01/15 02:39 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I agree and it doesn't help me either, but it obviously works for some. If you're going to go the AA route, make it honest. AA is not some magical cure where you can just keep on doing whatever you were doing and eventually you're fixed. You have to make the change happen, and taking alcohol into an AA meeting (seriously they're like an hour or two long) is the very definition of not even trying. Why fucking bother if you're going to do that? :nonono:


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21881501 - 07/01/15 03:05 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

No the point is human connection. Having someone you can talk with. That's why people use. Just talking with somebody. So many people push the addicts in there life away. Oh don't use or bye.

That isn't how it works. They're just going to use more. People use when they feel alone. And it's the only thing they can fucking connect with.

Shit in Alaska my best friends left me as I was a heroin addict. I was ready to quit and they abandoned me. Didn't even say they were just stopped answering. So I started using even harder.

I finally quit 2 years clean. But it took me leaving there but I switched to alcohol. I was lonely and bored as I didn't know anybody and it became habit. And I'm trying to figure out how.

The answer to addiction isn't judgement. It's human interaction. I thrive off of it I understand it all too well. When I'm with somebody that makes me feel less alone I don't want  to drink anymore


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Enjoywho]
    #21881505 - 07/01/15 03:08 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I might be shaking. Shit my Trans girl asked me why are you so shakey. I'm an alcoholic because I don't lie to people I care about. I tell them up front. But I don't feel like drinking anymore but I am with drawing.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Enjoywho]
    #21881507 - 07/01/15 03:12 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

The point of AA is to support each other while trying to remain sober. When you're not even trying to be sober and seek the support of others to stay that way, you're missing the point of AA entirely.

You're right that judgement is the last thing an addict needs, I know this all too well myself, but there are lines. If you're going to AA with alcohol in hand, then you need to ask yourself why you're even going. Because it's not to get sober. It's 2 fucking hours tops. I don't care how bad of an alcoholic you are, you can get by 2 hours without a drink. the only reason you couldn't, is if you're just not even trying.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21881520 - 07/01/15 03:22 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Because I need to talk about it. Honestly I've been thinking a lot lately my true life's calling is a drug counselor. I already do a lot of freelance work. People come to me a lot. As I don't judge.

Shit I had this girl come to me yesterday. Crying as she hit 2 months clean than slipped up off heroin. Just hugged her and sat her down. Don't be so hard on yourself it's baby steps. Think more of the progress you've made we all do it. I don't judge. I understand drugs are fun trust me I'm slipping hard myself but I want to sober up and find out how I even get into the field.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Enjoywho]
    #21881526 - 07/01/15 03:29 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

My mom too she's slipping so hard off alcohol. Talked with her for a couple hours and she just kept nodding. Told her that was my thought as she knows all about my drug use. Looked at me with tears in her eyes. Yes I do think that. I just understand it. I'm an addict. But I gotta sober up before I can help other people.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Enjoywho]
    #21881543 - 07/01/15 03:46 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I need to stop my drinking as well :sad: been drinking everyday for maybe 3 or 4 years but I'm starting to get the shakes bad. Sometimes I can't even write


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #21881555 - 07/01/15 03:51 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Yep I've been doing it for about 2 years. Trying to eat food and the spoon is just shaking. Or cooking. I've had to taper down many times I'm good at it. Well not good it always fucking sucks. But then it's like oh OK im fine again and drink heavy again. Rinse. Repeat.

Im lonely I have a lot of acquanteces but nobody that makes me truly feel as if I can be better. It's a sad feeling so I drink. And fuck alcohol wds are so much fucking worse than heroin. Holy fuck. I've experienced some shit. Vomiting stomach acid. Curled up into a ball wishing I were fucking dead for hours on end. Fucking bad. And that's the legal and cheap drug. :rofl:


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


Edited by Enjoywho (07/01/15 03:52 AM)


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Enjoywho]
    #21881557 - 07/01/15 03:54 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I'd literally prefer going back to heroin. Fuck this shit is bad


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Enjoywho]
    #21881559 - 07/01/15 03:56 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I know it's a bitch. A drug that slowly kills you, makes you violent when you take too much, and causes WD on par wit heroin :facepalm3: but ohhhhhh no we can't have this marijuana or psilocybin around! Someone could get hurt! :rolleyes: I've been a little bit better but I still have a few beers everyday and drink a shit ton on the weekends. I almost never drink hard alcohol anymore though. It's just when I go to work after the weekend I will start to see my hands shake and its fucking annoying and scary


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #21881561 - 07/01/15 03:56 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I tried to quit, now I'm afraid to try again. I was going really good. I went from ~12 beers a day and 750ml of liquor every day or two down to just 4 or so beers. Tapered because of how bad my alcoholism had become. After a while of only 4, I decided to stop and tried. Ended up failing. Have the will power to quit cigs, pills (for recreation) and even weed... But not the alcohol. I rebounded hard. Trying to quit ended up with me back at 8-10 beers a day and a very strong urge for liquor. :sad:

Other than the obvious, my Achilles heel is my insomnia. Without alcohol, sleeping pills simply don't work, and sleeping pills are all that work to put me to sleep. I've suffered through it most my life. It's really hard to give up my sleep. So when it's not time to sleep, I'm all for quitting, but when I'm stuck being awake forever, I falter. I revert back to what I know works.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


Edited by Shroomslip (07/01/15 04:02 AM)


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21881565 - 07/01/15 04:00 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

It's fucking tough man. If I haven't drank in a day or so the first sip of alcohol I take I can literally feel the endorphins releasing the second it makes it down my throat. Or if I'm shaking super super bad I can take one or 2 shots and they're gone immediately


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #21881580 - 07/01/15 04:11 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I wish I could control myself with liquor. A shot or two a day wouldn't really be so bad. That's all I'd need to potentiate my sleep medication. But I simply can't. If I have a bottle of liquor, I will drink that shit like it's water. It is not at all uncommon for me to get a bottle of liquor and finish it in a 4-5 hour period.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #21881581 - 07/01/15 04:12 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

It's just addictive personality. I smoke cigs whenever I'm bored. Which is a lot. It's become so habitual I dunno what to do. And the physical withdrawals from alcohol. Fuckin a. It isn't on par with heroin at all. I've never felt this bad.

Heroin feels like the flu. Alcohol I fucking have anxiety for the first time. Shaking. The works. My body feels so exhausted. I've sat in the bathroom throwing up stomach acid as there was nothing in it. Trying to muster the energy to walk to the store.

The thing is it never even feels better. At least with heroin a shot would make you feel better. But with alcohol I always feel sick. As its obviously destroying my liver and stomach tissue lining. My insides hurt all the time


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21881586 - 07/01/15 04:14 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomslip said:
I wish I could control myself with liquor. A shot or two a day wouldn't really be so bad. That's all I'd need to potentiate my sleep medication. But I simply can't. If I have a bottle of liquor, I will drink that shit like it's water. It is not at all uncommon for me to get a bottle of liquor and finish it in a 4-5 hour period.




Yep same. That's why I can't drink and Don't drink hard alcohol. I can't do it. I drink it like water than I'm really fucked up.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
Mdmazing
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Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Enjoywho]
    #21881593 - 07/01/15 04:21 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

The withdrawal from liquor is so horrible, i count my lucky stars I don't need to buy bottles anymore. At least with beer I can actually go to work and semi function but with hard alcohol my hands shake so bad I have trouble typing on a computer. One day my boss was standing over me asking me to type something up and my hands were shaking so bad I just kept stalling him and eventually got up to use the restroom :feelsbadman: I wish I could back a few years and slap the shit out of me when I started drinking everyday :facepalm3:


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #21881604 - 07/01/15 04:31 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Ya I drink the steel reserve 8.1% though. Gut rot. It's strong and cheap and nothing else really seems to satisfy now. I've been in a delirious sick haze for a couple days now. And I know it's from the alcohol. I've missed work the past 2 days. I can't sleep my body feels so uncomfortable. It's 330 now and I have to be out the door by 510.

So I'm just staying awake my mind won't rest. I need to be at work though. I have rent to pay and I want to get a bike and a TV. And I'm up by 7 am anyway. Well what the fuck do I do now. Dick around on the Internet. Smoke cigs. And walk up to the store to get beer.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Enjoywho]
    #21881610 - 07/01/15 04:35 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

But my Trans friend isn't leaving for a bit longer. I'ma see if she'll take care of me tomorrow. I really need the human companionship right now. I know she will.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
Mdmazing
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Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Enjoywho]
    #21881614 - 07/01/15 04:37 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

looks like. I do the exact same thing dude :lol: one day I went into work after drinking like all day and night and got sent home so i was just sitting in my car like :shrug: guess I'll go get a beer or something


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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OfflineFreeTheSoul
The wonderer.
Registered: 01/04/14
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Enjoywho]
    #21881618 - 07/01/15 04:40 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

After you guys get completely clean have you ever thought about getting that anti alcohol shot? I think it makes you really sick if you do end up drinking after you get the shot.


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #21881626 - 07/01/15 04:46 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Yep I got sent home last week. I had to wait 3 hours for the fucking bus not getting paid as I work 30 miles out from where I live. But I don't drink during or before work. I respect them too much. But I drink every fucking day. All day. Except during work.

But fuck man its tiring I'm already an insomniac. I have to get up at 445 am every morning. Walk to the bus station which is 15 minutes. Get there at 615. And start work at 7. I've already been up for 2 and a half hours before I even start working. And I work 9 hour days.

Plus I'm an insomniac so I've probably only slept maybe 3 hours max. I'm fucking just exhausted all the time. Not even gonna sleep tonight as its too close and I know if I'll fall asleep now I'll sleep til 7 :rolleyes:


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


Edited by Enjoywho (07/01/15 04:49 AM)


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Invisiblevinsue
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #21881788 - 07/01/15 06:33 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

It's refreshing to see some people start to realize, at a young age, that maybe alcohol is bad for them.
I was in my 50's before I began to think that maybe being drunk every day,
day in and day out, was destroying me.

I read somewhere that approx. 10% of the population have serious issues trying to party responsibly.
That's me.:wave:
I never in my life, had 'just one beer' , unless I was switching to vodka.:smirk:

I never wanted to stop drinking. :shrug: I liked to drink and I was real good at it.:irishtoast:
I wasn't hurting anyone (or so I thought), no DUI's, never missed work,
took care of my family (or so I thought)
I worked hard and deserved to play hard.

Random drug testing was somewhat common in my profession,
so I couldn't smoke weed as much as I'd liked to.:crankey:
but having beer for lunch wasn't a problem(I told myself)

You younger guys thinking alcohol w/d is the worst should continue:faded: for another 10-30 years.

Here's my first, some what feeble attempt at sobriety.(Feb., 2012)
I lasted maybe 4 months before I decided I had another run in me.(never did the IOP, AA thang)
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/15798817

Jan. 2014, I checked  into a 28 day program. When I got out I did the 90(meetings) in 90(days),
I got a sponsor and I haven't had a drink since then.

I was prescribed a once a month injection(9 months total) to help control the cravings,
(I was pretty much your raging alcoholic)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naltrexone#Formulations,and it worked.

Some people can have a few after work, or on the weekends,
maybe let loose on 3/17, 5/5, 12/31, or on other approved drinking days.(7/4:patriot:)
Some of us can't.
And I'm OK with that.
I do smoke pot daily, and I'm OK with that, too.
Cannabis isn't a volatile toxin like alcohol.

If you guys really want/need to stop, think about doing it sooner than later.
It sure as shit won't get any easier.

:goodluck::hug: . . . :peace:


--------------------

"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ...
  Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... :taser:  ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) .  :mod: ... :peace:


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: vinsue]
    #21881800 - 07/01/15 06:41 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Thanks dude! I'm only 22 but that's no excuse to drink every day :sad: just sucks I won't be able to go to the bars without blacking myself out


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Bjorn_Stormcrow]
    #21882115 - 07/01/15 09:20 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:


Haven't touched any drugs other than tobacco and alcohol (still looks fucking weird to me man) in at least 3 years. but I do agree with you, if i'm going to quit these I'll have to go completely clean for at least a few months. the booze i'm not actually that worried about since i've put it down for months at a time before without any problems, but drinking is what got me back smoking after my last time where i'd quit for 3 months.
So until I know for sure that i've got the smoking licked its just safer to avoid everything.




Ulfrick, I know what you mean....Years ago, I had a big cocaine habit ...used to use it to balance out my drunks....called "living better by chemistry" lol Nothing could take the slurred words and stagger away as quickly as a couple lines of coke. My point is....I know you don't mention coke...but, I never once chased coke when I wasn't drinking, and I had no problem stopping when I stopped drinking.Alcohol works like that...kinda makes bad ideas seem like good ones at the time. That was over 16 yrs. ago and have yet to do either since then. I utilize a program that says...1) Trust God....2) clean house....3) help others.

The only mind altering drugs I use today

are ps. mushrooms once or twice a year to re-center myself.

I send you good and hopeful thoughts and wish you luck.:sunny::peace:
PS...If any of you guys want to chat with me about anything...please IM me....I'll be happy to chat. I come from a place of experience.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


Edited by Thayendanegea (07/01/15 09:26 AM)


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Enjoywho]
    #21882235 - 07/01/15 09:58 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Enjoywho said:
But my Trans friend isn't leaving for a bit longer. I'ma see if she'll take care of me tomorrow. I really need the human companionship right now. I know she will.



Why do you keep addressing her as your "trans friend"

I don't address my friends by their sex.

Ya bro, I'm about to hang out with my male friend


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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Offlinefapjack
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Bjorn_Stormcrow]
    #21882388 - 07/01/15 10:45 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I stopped doing everything almost 6 months ago.  Probably best decision I made in quite a while.  I still love drug culture, but I'm having just as much fun watching everyone get high around me with a clear mind.  It's actually an interesting experience, especially if you are really interested in pharmacology.  Drunk people can be really fucking annoying though.  Alcohol was really the only drug I had a problem with other than opioids which I quit over 6 years ago, and watching drunk people really doesn't want to make me want to drink.  I'd suggest against going around people that drink though, a big reason why I can do it is because alcohol started to trigger psychosis the day after I drank.  I have a lot more incentive to not drink than most people as I start hearing shit and getting really paranoid that something is going to hurt me.  Even still it took me a while til I got to that point.  If you want to stop though, the first few days is the hardest and after that it starts to get easier.  Just try to limit your activities and who you hang out with, especially early on.


--------------------


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