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Bjorn_Stormcrow
The Farfarer.



Registered: 09/27/12
Posts: 2,572
Loc: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Last seen: 1 month, 1 day
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going clean and sober... ish
#21881243 - 07/01/15 01:32 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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so i've been thinking for a little while now about quitting smoking again (don't believe my signature, its a lying whore). and along with that i'm considering giving up alchahol (for the most part) I've been cutting back on my drinking a LOT recently, gone from getting drunk practically every night a couple years ago, down to once a week or so, and then recently MAYBE once a month. I'm just not feeling it anymore, getting drunk hasn't had any real appeal to me for a very long time, it was just something I did when bored. and now all i'm getting from it is a hangover and some pretty severe depression the next day. like every time I get drunk I end up feeling borderline suicidal for the next day, sometimes even two... and that shit just aint worth it anymore.
I might still have the odd beer with dinner every now and again, or a drink on the beach, I think this last time I got drunk was just the final sign I needed that i've gotten everything out of it I could have and theres nothing of interest in it for me anymore.
The smoking is gonna be a much harder battle, but should be easier without the drinking (I'm down to 4 or 5 cigarettes a day normally, but easily double that if I'm drinking)
-------------------- Live Mythically
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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I've been thinking about looking and going to an aa meeting. I mean I'm 2 years clean of heroin and drugs in general but have been slipping hard on alcohol.
I was reading this really great article. They shouldn't call it addiction they should call it bonding. We all crave human interaction. Or you'll bond with drugs or ya know whatever. Gambling whatever gives you the I don't feel so alone anymore chemical.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Enjoywho]
#21881294 - 07/01/15 01:47 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Just Googled it there's a place a 4 minute walk away. I think I'm going to attend one with a beer in my water bottle. Who knows I might meet some good people. I'll have to call tomorrow and find out when they meet.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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shadyy
aHhahhHA



Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
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so in other words you've turned into a pussy
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ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation? MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 2 hours, 29 minutes
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Enjoywho] 1
#21881317 - 07/01/15 01:53 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Enjoywho said: Just Googled it there's a place a 4 minute walk away. I think I'm going to attend one with a beer in my water bottle. Who knows I might meet some good people. I'll have to call tomorrow and find out when they meet.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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shadyy
aHhahhHA



Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Shroomslip]
#21881323 - 07/01/15 01:55 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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it's really not a big deal, everyone does it
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ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation? MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: shadyy]
#21881330 - 07/01/15 01:57 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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First you need to learn how to spell alcohol before you can get out of its butt raping addictive qualities
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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grandmaster_zach
Stranger


Registered: 10/03/14
Posts: 4
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: shadyy]
#21881334 - 07/01/15 01:58 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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For me it was always hard to compartmentalize my drug use (or abuse more like). I've always told myself that if I only get high once a week, or only take pills instead of drink, etc etc then I can get a grip on my addiction and be able to deal with it on my own. but in reality it just doesn't seem to work anywhere nearly as well as complete sobriety.
obviously we're different people and different shit works for us, but if I were you i'd try a few months just completely off all drugs. see how you like it. you can always come back, but you'll probably realize that drugs aren't really all that great. then you can come back to using and i would guess it would be far less frequent than what you're doing now (though it sounds like you use pretty infrequently as it is).
also switching to e-cigs is a godsend for quitting smoking. completely solved my tobacco addiction. i'm sure it's not great for your lungs, but i don't wheeze or wake up coughing like I used to anymore. just a suggestion.
-------------------- When you walk around with dog shit on your shoe, the whole world is gonna smell. Reach down, scrape off the shit, and enjoy the fresh scent of the earth.
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Bjorn_Stormcrow
The Farfarer.



Registered: 09/27/12
Posts: 2,572
Loc: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Last seen: 1 month, 1 day
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Quote:
shadyy said: so in other words you've turned into a pussy
yup, total pussy who is sick of doing things that just make me feel like shit afterwards.
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Rebelutionsssss said: First you need to learn how to spell alcohol before you can get out of its butt raping addictive qualities
I've tried, its one of those words that I've NEVER been able to spell properly. no matter how many times I try and spell it properly it just never looks right to me.
Quote:
grandmaster_zach said: For me it was always hard to compartmentalize my drug use (or abuse more like). I've always told myself that if I only get high once a week, or only take pills instead of drink, etc etc then I can get a grip on my addiction and be able to deal with it on my own. but in reality it just doesn't seem to work anywhere nearly as well as complete sobriety.
obviously we're different people and different shit works for us, but if I were you i'd try a few months just completely off all drugs. see how you like it. you can always come back, but you'll probably realize that drugs aren't really all that great. then you can come back to using and i would guess it would be far less frequent than what you're doing now (though it sounds like you use pretty infrequently as it is).
also switching to e-cigs is a godsend for quitting smoking. completely solved my tobacco addiction. i'm sure it's not great for your lungs, but i don't wheeze or wake up coughing like I used to anymore. just a suggestion.
Haven't touched any drugs other than tobacco and alcohol (still looks fucking weird to me man) in at least 3 years. but I do agree with you, if i'm going to quit these I'll have to go completely clean for at least a few months. the booze i'm not actually that worried about since i've put it down for months at a time before without any problems, but drinking is what got me back smoking after my last time where i'd quit for 3 months. So until I know for sure that i've got the smoking licked its just safer to avoid everything.
-------------------- Live Mythically
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FreeTheSoul
The wonderer.
Registered: 01/04/14
Posts: 2,297
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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No you just switched the form of your addiction, Its like choosing liquor vs beer. A e cig still has nicotine. Unless you dont use it with nicotine juice, and if that's the case congrats.
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shadyy
aHhahhHA



Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
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I wasn't serious, just throwing you some tough love
hope it all works out amen
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ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation? MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13
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grandmaster_zach
Stranger


Registered: 10/03/14
Posts: 4
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: FreeTheSoul]
#21881362 - 07/01/15 02:07 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
FreeTheSoul said: No you just switched the form of your addiction, Its like choosing liquor vs beer. A e cig still has nicotine. Unless you dont use it with nicotine juice, and if that's the case congrats.
Yeah I for sure just switched addictions but it's not like switching from beer to liquor at all. Tobacco and vape juice are two completely different animals. I'm sure vapes damage your lungs in some way but you can't argue that it's as harmful as tobacco, that's just ridiculous. I still do other drugs so the nicotine is the least of my worries. I'm just glad I have lungs that work now.
-------------------- When you walk around with dog shit on your shoe, the whole world is gonna smell. Reach down, scrape off the shit, and enjoy the fresh scent of the earth.
Edited by grandmaster_zach (07/01/15 02:09 AM)
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Lots of hate. Dudes thinking about cleaning up. Be supportive. Sheesh. It is a full moon tonight no wonder all you are acting crazy.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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I was exactly like that with trying to spell cigarettes for the longest fucking time. I should probably cut back with you man. Sometimes at the end of the day the amount of narcotics I ingest just astounds me.
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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Bjorn_Stormcrow
The Farfarer.



Registered: 09/27/12
Posts: 2,572
Loc: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Last seen: 1 month, 1 day
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Quote:
grandmaster_zach said:
Quote:
FreeTheSoul said: No you just switched the form of your addiction, Its like choosing liquor vs beer. A e cig still has nicotine. Unless you dont use it with nicotine juice, and if that's the case congrats.
Yeah I for sure just switched addictions but it's not like switching from beer to liquor at all. Tobacco and vape juice are two completely different animals. I'm sure vapes damage your lungs in some way but you can't argue that it's as harmful as tobacco, that's just ridiculous. I still do other drugs so the nicotine is the least of my worries. I'm just glad I have lungs that work now.
Gods how I miss that, my lungs are fucking shot. I know the damage can never be 100% repaired, but I want to stop before its too late, and I want to be able to do things like run again without feeling like i'm going to die.
Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said:
I was exactly like that with trying to spell cigarettes for the longest fucking time. I should probably cut back with you man. Sometimes at the end of the day the amount of narcotics I ingest just astounds me.
no worries man, I didn't take it personally.
-------------------- Live Mythically
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Shroomslip]
#21881407 - 07/01/15 02:24 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Lots of hate. Dudes thinking about cleaning up. Be supportive. Sheesh. It is a full moon tonight no wonder all you are acting crazy. Quote:
Shroomslip said:
Quote:
Enjoywho said: Just Googled it there's a place a 4 minute walk away. I think I'm going to attend one with a beer in my water bottle. Who knows I might meet some good people. I'll have to call tomorrow and find out when they meet.

I gotta taper. Ive had to do it many times the past 2 years. Shit will kill you. It put my ass in the hospital when I was having an anxiety attack. Heart rate reached over 200 bpm. Finally ived me some benzos. I could finally breathe again. I've never had anxiety beside being an anxious teenager. Alcohol wds are no joke. Far worse than heroin.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 2 hours, 29 minutes
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Enjoywho] 1
#21881419 - 07/01/15 02:29 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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The whole purpose of going to AA is to get sober. You don't fucking take alcohol into AA. You're wasting yours and everyone else's time.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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Bjorn_Stormcrow
The Farfarer.



Registered: 09/27/12
Posts: 2,572
Loc: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Last seen: 1 month, 1 day
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Shroomslip] 1
#21881428 - 07/01/15 02:34 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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I'm not a huge fan of AA. it never worked worth a damn for me, in fact it did more harm than good. the whole "your powerless" message just didn't sit right with me and only made my issues worse. but it does work for a LOT of people, but if your going to work the program, then you need to work the program, taking booze in is just insulting to the program and everyone else in it.
-------------------- Live Mythically
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
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I agree and it doesn't help me either, but it obviously works for some. If you're going to go the AA route, make it honest. AA is not some magical cure where you can just keep on doing whatever you were doing and eventually you're fixed. You have to make the change happen, and taking alcohol into an AA meeting (seriously they're like an hour or two long) is the very definition of not even trying. Why fucking bother if you're going to do that?
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: going clean and sober... ish [Re: Shroomslip]
#21881501 - 07/01/15 03:05 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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No the point is human connection. Having someone you can talk with. That's why people use. Just talking with somebody. So many people push the addicts in there life away. Oh don't use or bye.
That isn't how it works. They're just going to use more. People use when they feel alone. And it's the only thing they can fucking connect with.
Shit in Alaska my best friends left me as I was a heroin addict. I was ready to quit and they abandoned me. Didn't even say they were just stopped answering. So I started using even harder.
I finally quit 2 years clean. But it took me leaving there but I switched to alcohol. I was lonely and bored as I didn't know anybody and it became habit. And I'm trying to figure out how.
The answer to addiction isn't judgement. It's human interaction. I thrive off of it I understand it all too well. When I'm with somebody that makes me feel less alone I don't want to drink anymore
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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