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OfflineGanga Lova
fuck I spelled ganja wrong
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Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 328
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Last seen: 8 years, 13 days
deciding its time to grow up * 1
    #21881164 - 07/01/15 01:12 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Holden Caulfield.

If you read Catcher in the Rye, you'd understand the reference. Otherwise it went over your head. Either way, it doesn't matter. That's the way I feel right now, and that has been my mindset for as long as I can remember, 5 years at least. Just super depressed and cynical.

I graduated high school a month ago. And I've pretty much just been getting high ever since. But as time goes on and I'm just sinking deeper into this depression, I'm starting to see it's time I get my shit together. It sucks to realize the right thing to do is the only thing to do anymore. And the thing is, if I can just stop doing drugs, I'm in a very good position right now. I have a drug test coming up in 2 months that if I pass I landed myself a union job making $40 an hour, not even taking into account OT and DT. Therein lies my current predicament.

I can't stop doing drugs. I mean, I could, but it would mean pretty much just forgetting about my best friend who I went through everything in high school together with. See, I'm kind of a loner myself, but he has this other group of friends he hangs out with. Lately I've been hanging out with them, and I like them and all, but they're the ones that have made me open my eyes. These kids are bad news. If I want to straighten out my life, I need to avoid this crowd. It's extremely sad.

Also, plot twist, there's a predicament within my predicament. In this group of kids, there's this girl. She wants my dick, badly. She's good looking and all, so you may be wondering where the problem is. Did I mention I was gay? A self loathing one at that. This is actually where much of my anxiety and depression stems from.

The problem is this shit happens to me all the time. I show no interest in girls, I make no attempt to attract them, I just act myself, and bitches be trippin all over themselves for me. I've been in a similar situation at least 5 other times, and it ALWAYS ENDS BAD. Last time it got as far as I am now with this girl, it ended with my truck wrapped around a tree. I should be fucking dead honestly. Wish I was at least.

But anyway whenever a girl starts showing interest in my I get very uncomfortable, but due to peer pressure and generally not wanting to look like a faggot (which I totally am, so that's a big motivator), I feel compelled to pursue a relationship. And once that starts, it's all downhill from there. I get super depressed trying to keep it all together. The real problem is, I would be ok with having a girlfriend, but eventually it's going to get to that point where I can't perform. You know what I mean. In the past I've found a way out of the relationship before it gets that far. It's only got to that point one time before, and when it did, I drove home so frustrated I totalled my car.

However, it has now got that far with this girl too. I actually stayed the night in her bed, fingered her and everything, but couldn't get it up. And stupidly I'm still leading her on.

Look, I don't know where I'm going with this anymore. I have a problem with rambling. I guess what I'm trying to say is before my mentality was in the only one that can make myself happy, so I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want to try to be happy. Now I realize I'm not any happier and in the process I'm going nowhere in life. I guess what I want from you is some motivation, advice on how to get out of this situation, anything really to help me get my life in order. I don't even know what to do anymore. I'm trying not to be cynical but it's so fucking hard. I hate everything.


--------------------
"My only fear in death is reincarnation"
    -Tupac Shakur


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OfflineTNK
Pleasures of Africa
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Registered: 01/30/10
Posts: 14,237
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Last seen: 1 month, 18 days
Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Ganga Lova]
    #21881166 - 07/01/15 01:12 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

:pm: me fool.


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Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)


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InvisibleBodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*
Other

Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan Flag
Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: TNK]
    #21881171 - 07/01/15 01:13 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Tl;DR


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OfflineD.M.T
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Registered: 10/31/09
Posts: 10,991
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Ganga Lova]
    #21881174 - 07/01/15 01:14 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I stopped at "Caulfield", because somebody really needed to kick that kid's ass.

If that's you, maybe an ass kicking is in order for you to grow up.


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OfflineGanga Lova
fuck I spelled ganja wrong
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Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 328
Loc: Chicago Flag
Last seen: 8 years, 13 days
Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
    #21881226 - 07/01/15 01:26 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Bodhi of Ankou said:
Tl;DR



Tldr I don't wanna be a worthless lazy fuck like this guy


--------------------
"My only fear in death is reincarnation"
    -Tupac Shakur


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OfflineGanga Lova
fuck I spelled ganja wrong
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Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 328
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Last seen: 8 years, 13 days
Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: D.M.T] * 1
    #21881228 - 07/01/15 01:27 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

D.M.T said:
I stopped at "Caulfield", because somebody really needed to kick that kid's ass.

If that's you, maybe an ass kicking is in order for you to grow up.



I had my ass kicked before, all it taught me was to be even less trusting of black people


--------------------
"My only fear in death is reincarnation"
    -Tupac Shakur


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OfflineD.M.T
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Ganga Lova]
    #21881235 - 07/01/15 01:29 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Sounds like you were taught a lesson to me.

Maybe you need your ass kicked a second time.


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OfflineShroomslip
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Registered: 11/25/12
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Ganga Lova]
    #21881252 - 07/01/15 01:36 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

You just graduated high school a month ago. You're not supposed to have your life figured out already. If you're gay, then why don't you.. oh I don't know.. Tell these girls you're gay? Also if your friendship with whoever is built on drug use and stopping would end the friendship, then you aren't fucking friends. You're just two people who like to get high with each other. If you want to throw away a great job just to keep using drugs, then do it.

All of this stress is your own doing. Absolutely none of this shit is just shitty circumstances being thrown in your lap. You're choosing every bit of it. Going to sound callous and make me sound the like the asshole, but if you want to bring all this shit on yourself, then don't bitch about it.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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Invisiblemindbodysoul
the fertile


Registered: 03/10/14
Posts: 912
Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: D.M.T]
    #21881256 - 07/01/15 01:37 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

man you know exactly what you have to do, stop using those drugs and tell that girl that you are gay..i don't see why you still chill with ur new group of friends but just don't do any drugs while ur there..btw what drugs are u talking about, is it weed


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OfflineBjorn_Stormcrow
The Farfarer.
Male


Registered: 09/27/12
Posts: 2,572
Loc: Toronto, Ontario, Canada Flag
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: D.M.T]
    #21881260 - 07/01/15 01:37 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

First step is you need to get over the whole self loathing about being gay thing. you will NEVER be able to grow up until you can learn to accept yourself for who you are. theres absolutely nothing wrong with being gay, and so long as you keep trying to pretend that your something other than what you are your just going to be miserable.
I'm not gonna tell you to just come out of the closet right away or anything, thats a big decision and one that you will have to make for yourself when the time is right. but you need to stop lying to yourself and to others.
as for the ladies, just use the "i'm not ready for any sort of relationship" line for the time being, because its not right for you to be dragging them along with you as you figure your shit out. and from the sounds of it, it wouldn't even be a lie, because you AREN'T ready for a relationship just yet.
Get yourself sorted, the rest will sort itself.


--------------------
Live Mythically



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OfflineGanga Lova
fuck I spelled ganja wrong
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Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 328
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Bjorn_Stormcrow]
    #21881357 - 07/01/15 02:06 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Ok lets just ignore the whole gay part because I don't know what else I expected from a bunch of straight guys except, DUH just be gay lol!

Anyway, we were friends before the drug use, he's more than someone I get high with. But you can't deny for someone trying to straighten up it's essential to avoid anything and anybody that can bring you down.

Ironically it is the weed I'm having the hardest time quitting, but I'll also take any benzos I can get my hands on along with pretty much any downer, or coke, or psychedelics. But yeah, I can't stop smoking.


--------------------
"My only fear in death is reincarnation"
    -Tupac Shakur


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OfflineTNK
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Registered: 01/30/10
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Ganga Lova]
    #21881368 - 07/01/15 02:08 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I'm like, almost 100% atleast 75% of the Shroomery is either gay, or a closet fag.


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Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)


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OfflineGanga Lova
fuck I spelled ganja wrong
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Ganga Lova]
    #21881372 - 07/01/15 02:10 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

The thing is, I have accepted I am gay. But let me put it this way. Imagine if you were black, but if you said you were white nobody would question it. Life would be so much easier if you were white, and while even if you did say you were black, even though you still acted like a civilised black person, there would be people who look at you like your some lazy welfare leech. Wouldn't you just try to pass as white?

I'm fine with being gay, I can't stand flamboyant homosexuals. I don't want to be associated with that. I don't want people to see that when they see me, even if that isn't me.


--------------------
"My only fear in death is reincarnation"
    -Tupac Shakur


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OfflineBjorn_Stormcrow
The Farfarer.
Male


Registered: 09/27/12
Posts: 2,572
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Ganga Lova]
    #21881381 - 07/01/15 02:13 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Ganga Lova said:
The thing is, I have accepted I am gay. But let me put it this way. Imagine if you were black, but if you said you were white nobody would question it. Life would be so much easier if you were white, and while even if you did say you were black, even though you still acted like a civilised black person, there would be people who look at you like your some lazy welfare leech. Wouldn't you just try to pass as white?

I'm fine with being gay, I can't stand flamboyant homosexuals. I don't want to be associated with that. I don't want people to see that when they see me, even if that isn't me.




I've met many a gay man who wasn't "flamboyant" in fact most of them you wouldn't even know they where gay until they told you.
but they didn't "hide" that they where gay, they accepted it, they lived their lives, and they moved on. because the fact is its not NEARLY as big a deal as most people seem to think it is.


--------------------
Live Mythically



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OfflineGanga Lova
fuck I spelled ganja wrong
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: TNK]
    #21881387 - 07/01/15 02:15 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

TheNatureKid said:
I'm like, almost 100% atleast 75% of the Shroomery is either gay, or a closet fag.



I get the vibe on most places on the internet more people are gay than are willing to admit.

I was also thinking the other day, maybe this whole gay pride thing is the wrong approach. I was thinking, so many people are in the closet because they don't want to look like a faggot, and all they're trying to do is promote the faggotry. I think it's only a small percentage of gays that embrace that, but unfortunately they're the vocal minority that gets the shit done.

Does anyone follow anything I say?


--------------------
"My only fear in death is reincarnation"
    -Tupac Shakur


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Ganga Lova]
    #21881388 - 07/01/15 02:15 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Ganga Lova said:
Ok lets just ignore the whole gay part because I don't know what else I expected from a bunch of straight guys except, DUH just be gay lol!



You are who you are and you're never going to be happy as long as you're fighting who you are. One of my oldest friends is gay. It's not all rainbows and kittens when you finally come out, but in general, you're a hell of a lot fucking happier than when you're trying to hide it from everyone.

Also you can quit you just aren't doing it. You think I don't want to be smoking? I love weed, it is the perfect medication for many problems I have. But I have a job on the line and I can't smoke. I want nothing more than to just keep smoking, but that isn't going to get me anywhere in life. So I made a hard choice. My world basically revolved around weed. If I can quit, anyone can. I really doubt you'd ever meet someone more obsessed with it than I was.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflineGanga Lova
fuck I spelled ganja wrong
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Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 328
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Bjorn_Stormcrow]
    #21881395 - 07/01/15 02:18 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Ulfrick said:
Quote:

Ganga Lova said:
The thing is, I have accepted I am gay. But let me put it this way. Imagine if you were black, but if you said you were white nobody would question it. Life would be so much easier if you were white, and while even if you did say you were black, even though you still acted like a civilised black person, there would be people who look at you like your some lazy welfare leech. Wouldn't you just try to pass as white?

I'm fine with being gay, I can't stand flamboyant homosexuals. I don't want to be associated with that. I don't want people to see that when they see me, even if that isn't me.




I've met many a gay man who wasn't "flamboyant" in fact most of them you wouldn't even know they where gay until they told you.
but they didn't "hide" that they where gay, they accepted it, they lived their lives, and they moved on. because the fact is its not NEARLY as big a deal as most people seem to think it is.



Again, for someone who is straight it's easy to say it isn't a big deal. Sure most people are accepting of it, but you aren't the one who lives everyday struggling with the fact that you aren't like everyone else.


--------------------
"My only fear in death is reincarnation"
    -Tupac Shakur


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OfflineGanga Lova
fuck I spelled ganja wrong
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Registered: 03/28/15
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21881399 - 07/01/15 02:20 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomslip said:
Quote:

Ganga Lova said:
Ok lets just ignore the whole gay part because I don't know what else I expected from a bunch of straight guys except, DUH just be gay lol!



You are who you are and you're never going to be happy as long as you're fighting who you are. One of my oldest friends is gay. It's not all rainbows and kittens when you finally come out, but in general, you're a hell of a lot fucking happier than when you're trying to hide it from everyone.

Also you can quit you just aren't doing it. You think I don't want to be smoking? I love weed, it is the perfect medication for many problems I have. But I have a job on the line and I can't smoke. I want nothing more than to just keep smoking, but that isn't going to get me anywhere in life. So I made a hard choice. My world basically revolved around weed. If I can quit, anyone can. I really doubt you'd ever meet someone more obsessed with it than I was.



Exactly, so let me ask you, are you happy? Because I feel like if I get clean and get a job and slave my life away I'm never going to be happy. I never have been, and I've convinced myself I never will be.


--------------------
"My only fear in death is reincarnation"
    -Tupac Shakur


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InvisibleOeric McKenna
LIFE CAPS


Registered: 06/15/12
Posts: 5,318
Loc: Babylon Flag
Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Ganga Lova]
    #21881404 - 07/01/15 02:22 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Growing up isnt all its cracked up to be sometimes....unless you really dig paying bills


--------------------


spread love
love is everything
2013 finds
medicinal psilocybin tincture drops
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OfflineBjorn_Stormcrow
The Farfarer.
Male


Registered: 09/27/12
Posts: 2,572
Loc: Toronto, Ontario, Canada Flag
Last seen: 1 month, 1 day
Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Ganga Lova]
    #21881405 - 07/01/15 02:24 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Ganga Lova said:
Quote:

TheNatureKid said:
I'm like, almost 100% atleast 75% of the Shroomery is either gay, or a closet fag.



I get the vibe on most places on the internet more people are gay than are willing to admit.

I was also thinking the other day, maybe this whole gay pride thing is the wrong approach. I was thinking, so many people are in the closet because they don't want to look like a faggot, and all they're trying to do is promote the faggotry. I think it's only a small percentage of gays that embrace that, but unfortunately they're the vocal minority that gets the shit done.

Does anyone follow anything I say?




I'm starting to think that you really need to get over yourself. your so afraid of what other people might think of you as, but all your doing is hurting yourself by trying to live up to what you think they expect of you. when the reality is often much different.
Sure some people might leave, some might reject you, but those aren't the kinds of people you should have around anyways.
As far as being a "faggot" I assume you mean the stereotypical feminine gays with the accents and impeccable fashion sense etc.
My question is, are you a "faggot"? what makes you think that admitting your gay would suddenly turn you into one? you are who you are, being truthful and honest with yourself and with others won't suddenly change that.
and who knows, maybe you, like many a gay man before you, decide that adopting those stereotypes is actually helpful. (I know a few who intentionally picked up the "Gay accent" because it avoided any confusion as to their sexual identity, didn't have women hitting on them as much, and made it easier to find willing men.)

Also as to your other response, what makes you think i'm straight?


--------------------
Live Mythically



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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Ganga Lova]
    #21881411 - 07/01/15 02:27 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

At the moment no. I don't have the job yet (or back yet would be more precise). I've had the job before and was laid off (was only contract before, which is disposable, I'll be going back as full time, which isn't) and yes, I was happy when I had it. My future seemed bright. I was making around 6k a month and that was at 15/hr. In just a few years I could be at 30/hr. I only have a GED, so getting that job was fucking amazing. I was going to be able to get me and my wife cars that weren't going to break down at any moment and buy a house in a good neighborhood that isn't falling apart, I was going to be able to actually save up a college fund for my son so he'd have the opportunity very few in either me or my wife's family have ever had the opportunity for. I was going to be able to finally not have to worry what we're going to do about bills every month.

Yes, I was happy.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflineGanga Lova
fuck I spelled ganja wrong
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 328
Loc: Chicago Flag
Last seen: 8 years, 13 days
Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Bjorn_Stormcrow]
    #21881414 - 07/01/15 02:28 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

You're right sorry it was the other guys sarcastic 'If you're gay, then why don't you.. oh I don't know.. Tell these girls you're gay?' that bothered me.

I don't know man fuck it, I give up


--------------------
"My only fear in death is reincarnation"
    -Tupac Shakur


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OfflineFreeTheSoul
The wonderer.
Registered: 01/04/14
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21881420 - 07/01/15 02:29 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Were you depressed before you started doing drugs? Was the depression from something or were you just depressed for no reason?


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OfflineGanga Lova
fuck I spelled ganja wrong
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21881422 - 07/01/15 02:31 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomslip said:
At the moment no. I don't have the job yet (or back yet would be more precise). I've had the job before and was laid off (was only contract before, which is disposable, I'll be going back as full time, which isn't) and yes, I was happy when I had it. My future seemed bright. I was making around 6k a month and that was at 15/hr. In just a few years I could be at 30/hr. I only have a GED, so getting that job was fucking amazing. I was going to be able to get me and my wife cars that weren't going to break down at any moment and buy a house in a good neighborhood that isn't falling apart, I was going to be able to actually save up a college fund for my son so he'd have the opportunity very few in either me or my wife's family have ever had the opportunity for. I was going to be able to finally not have to worry what we're going to do about bills every month.

Yes, I was happy.



See it's this right here that makes me convince myself I'll never be happy. Everything you said was about you and your FAMILY being better off. I don't have that to look forward to. Yes, I can find companionship, but it would never be the same. I'll never get married to a woman and procreate and generally do what it is a human does. What the fuck am I going to do?


--------------------
"My only fear in death is reincarnation"
    -Tupac Shakur


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Ganga Lova]
    #21881425 - 07/01/15 02:33 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Ganga Lova said:
Quote:

Shroomslip said:
At the moment no. I don't have the job yet (or back yet would be more precise). I've had the job before and was laid off (was only contract before, which is disposable, I'll be going back as full time, which isn't) and yes, I was happy when I had it. My future seemed bright. I was making around 6k a month and that was at 15/hr. In just a few years I could be at 30/hr. I only have a GED, so getting that job was fucking amazing. I was going to be able to get me and my wife cars that weren't going to break down at any moment and buy a house in a good neighborhood that isn't falling apart, I was going to be able to actually save up a college fund for my son so he'd have the opportunity very few in either me or my wife's family have ever had the opportunity for. I was going to be able to finally not have to worry what we're going to do about bills every month.

Yes, I was happy.



See it's this right here that makes me convince myself I'll never be happy. Everything you said was about you and your FAMILY being better off. I don't have that to look forward to. Yes, I can find companionship, but it would never be the same. I'll never get married to a woman and procreate and generally do what it is a human does. What the fuck am I going to do?



It's not about just my family it's about bettering myself as well. I'm not doing this as some selfless act to only help my family. I'm building myself up as well. I live in this shitty house in this shitty neighborhood driving this shitty car and constantly worrying about how to make ends meet. I want out of that.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflineGanga Lova
fuck I spelled ganja wrong
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Registered: 03/28/15
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Last seen: 8 years, 13 days
Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: FreeTheSoul]
    #21881426 - 07/01/15 02:34 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

FreeTheSoul said:
Were you depressed before you started doing drugs? Was the depression from something or were you just depressed for no reason?



I've been depressed since I'd say 7th grade. I didn't start doing drugs till high school. I've been chronically depressed long before I started going drugs. The only reason I even ever wanted to smoke was for spiritual purposes, because I thought it could help my situation. Effectiveness still to be determined.


--------------------
"My only fear in death is reincarnation"
    -Tupac Shakur


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OfflineGanga Lova
fuck I spelled ganja wrong
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Ganga Lova]
    #21881443 - 07/01/15 02:40 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Anyway it's 4 am I'm going to bed.


--------------------
"My only fear in death is reincarnation"
    -Tupac Shakur


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InvisibleMagicMush123
moon person
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Registered: 01/22/15
Posts: 5,101
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Ganga Lova]
    #21881461 - 07/01/15 02:46 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Ganga Lova said:
Quote:

Shroomslip said:
Quote:

Ganga Lova said:
Ok lets just ignore the whole gay part because I don't know what else I expected from a bunch of straight guys except, DUH just be gay lol!



You are who you are and you're never going to be happy as long as you're fighting who you are. One of my oldest friends is gay. It's not all rainbows and kittens when you finally come out, but in general, you're a hell of a lot fucking happier than when you're trying to hide it from everyone.

Also you can quit you just aren't doing it. You think I don't want to be smoking? I love weed, it is the perfect medication for many problems I have. But I have a job on the line and I can't smoke. I want nothing more than to just keep smoking, but that isn't going to get me anywhere in life. So I made a hard choice. My world basically revolved around weed. If I can quit, anyone can. I really doubt you'd ever meet someone more obsessed with it than I was.



Exactly, so let me ask you, are you happy? Because I feel like if I get clean and get a job and slave my life away I'm never going to be happy. I never have been, and I've convinced myself I never will be.




You think you won't happy making 40 an hr? Sorry to break it to you but we live in a sad world where the only thing that talks Is MONEY! So quit the weed till you get it, and smoke agian when you can..
It's common sense,  and you'll get even higher than before! Think about when your 30, making min wage,  living paycheck to paycheck, thinking fuck I wish I quit weed for a WHOLE 2 months, and I would of had a house, car etc living the good life


Edited by MagicMush123 (07/01/15 02:47 AM)


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OfflineGanga Lova
fuck I spelled ganja wrong
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: MagicMush123]
    #21881466 - 07/01/15 02:47 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

That's exactly the part that makes me want to put a fucking bullet through my skull because for me money isn't happiness.


--------------------
"My only fear in death is reincarnation"
    -Tupac Shakur


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OfflineEzuma
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Ganga Lova]
    #21881467 - 07/01/15 02:48 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Cliche but don't worry so much what people think of you. Pretty much imediately after graduation I realized no one gives a shit anyway. The other stuff I have no good advice on though


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InvisibleMagicMush123
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Ganga Lova]
    #21881470 - 07/01/15 02:50 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

It can lead to happiness... By enabling you do the things you want to do... And you don't have the added stress of worrying of how your pay next months rent and working 2 jobs possibley. Fuck you can retire at 55 with that money


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OfflineGanga Lova
fuck I spelled ganja wrong
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: MagicMush123]
    #21881477 - 07/01/15 02:53 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

It's 40 an hour but it's not a stable job by any means. It's a union job, it's not 9 to 5 work, the pension is questionable. What I really should do is continue my education, which is totally an option, but I just need the motivation for it.


--------------------
"My only fear in death is reincarnation"
    -Tupac Shakur


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Ganga Lova]
    #21881488 - 07/01/15 02:56 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Ganga Lova said:
That's exactly the part that makes me want to put a fucking bullet through my skull because for me money isn't happiness.



Happiness is a good life. Money can give you the good life. It can't buy you everything you want, but it can damn sure give you a good head start. Whether you like it or not, our lives are governed by money. Want a decent house, decent car and a general stress free living situation? You're gonna need money. By all means subscribe to the idea that money is a worthless pursuit, but just remember that philosophy when you're working retail, dealing with all the horrors of customer service, constantly struggling to make ends meet and where every time a part fails on your transportation to get to and from a job, it's a disaster.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleMagicMush123
moon person
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/22/15
Posts: 5,101
Loc: Chinada Flag
Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Ganga Lova]
    #21881489 - 07/01/15 02:56 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Is it a dieing industry?


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InvisibleMagicMush123
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: MagicMush123]
    #21881494 - 07/01/15 03:01 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Work therw aslong as you can, while figuring out what you want to do with tour life. It would gibe you time to. Choose the right career,  and by then you can.pay in cash,  or almost all of the course or courses with my miminal student debt, and if it doesn't work out you have a new experience,  and lots of cash, to go travelling etc and to have fun..


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Offlinekykeion
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Ganga Lova]
    #21883886 - 07/01/15 05:19 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Ganga Lova said:
The thing is, I have accepted I am gay. But let me put it this way. Imagine if you were black, but if you said you were white nobody would question it. Life would be so much easier if you were white, and while even if you did say you were black, even though you still acted like a civilised black person, there would be people who look at you like your some lazy welfare leech. Wouldn't you just try to pass as white?

I'm fine with being gay, I can't stand flamboyant homosexuals. I don't want to be associated with that. I don't want people to see that when they see me, even if that isn't me.




I know exactly what you are saying, I felt the exact same way. My biggest regret in waiting till I was 27 to accept myself and come out is that I wasted some of the most carefree years of my life not being myself.  Also, all the sex I could have been having.  So here is some advice from some one who is not straight.

Stop doing drugs, get the job, save up some money while you can, then go to college or do what ever education program you are interested in. You're what 18? 19? You have plenty of life left to get high when it wont risk your job.

And for gods sake come out. You don't have to be loud'n proud and all "faggy."  Just accept that you like other guys, when a girl wants your nuts thank her for the flattery and tell her your gay. Odds are she'll like you even more and want  you to be her GBF.  Passing as straight because you can does not really make your life any easier, trust me I have been there. 

And there is a hell of a lot more to life than this idea that we have been fed that we have to get married and have babies to live a happy fulfilled life.


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OfflineHayoxp
Enlil sucks cock


Registered: 06/05/15
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: kykeion]
    #21884157 - 07/01/15 06:20 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Mean't for Ganga Love

Wait.. didn't you call me a kid? Lmao, I'm 21 boi. 3 years done of University doing mind altering medicine and shit. :thumbdown:


--------------------
Enlil is trash, needs to end himself.


Edited by Hayoxp (07/01/15 06:20 PM)


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Hayoxp]
    #21884206 - 07/01/15 06:30 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

What are you studying


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineHayoxp
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Registered: 06/05/15
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21884230 - 07/01/15 06:34 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

G Marketing and MGT :crazy2:


--------------------
Enlil is trash, needs to end himself.


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Hayoxp] * 1
    #21884271 - 07/01/15 06:40 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Sounds shitty


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineHayoxp
Enlil sucks cock


Registered: 06/05/15
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21884296 - 07/01/15 06:44 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Sounds shitty




Not a fan of business either, I'd rather be an actor.


--------------------
Enlil is trash, needs to end himself.


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Hayoxp]
    #21884350 - 07/01/15 06:50 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Get your degree first then do it


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineGanga Lova
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Hayoxp]
    #21884364 - 07/01/15 06:52 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Did I call you kid? I don't even know you and I don't remember calling anyone kid.

Also I'm not fully in the closet, I've told a few people I trust, but I never made some big event to announce myself as gay. The only thing is, I don't want any of my family to know, ever. Not because they wouldn't accept me, I know they would. I just don't want to.


--------------------
"My only fear in death is reincarnation"
    -Tupac Shakur


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OfflineHayoxp
Enlil sucks cock


Registered: 06/05/15
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Re: deciding its time to grow up [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21884366 - 07/01/15 06:52 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I guess, but tbh actors are 1 in a million :thumbdown:


--------------------
Enlil is trash, needs to end himself.


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