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InvisibleOgla
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Registered: 02/16/04
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Shroomery mentioned in article about Mushrooms; "Yard mushrooms: Yummy snack or deadly plant?"
    #21880842 - 06/30/15 11:20 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Jun 29, 2015

What’s with all those mini-mushrooms that have appeared overnight in everyone’s back yards? They look like yummy shiitake mushers but are as deadly as a mad Kardashian.

They pop up under trees, under lettuce leaves and in the cracks between patio pavers. And man, those little buggers grow fast. They’re like that plant in "Little Shop of Horrors." Remember that old movie and not-quite-so-old musical? Where a luckless nerd adopts a pet plant and it takes carnivorous vegetation to a whole new dining level. Kind of a "Revenge of the Fava Beans." Makes you never want to eat burritos again.

Those yard mushers don’t sprout, exactly. It’s more like spawning. See, when a mommy and daddy mushroom love each other very much, they spore. It is a World Cup sporing event, where mushrooms are growing.

Google is very helpful in offering sites to explain mushroom growth. Its top two were shroomery.org and "Better Homes and Gardens." I visited Shroomery and learned all sorts of interesting things about how to grow and use "magic mushrooms." Whoa! That site was no "Better Homes and Gardens," baby. Um, it’s not true that Google keeps all your search records, and turns them over to the government, is it?

The Better Homes site was tons more helpful and a great deal less shady than shroomery.org. C’mon, what sort of .org organization has a mission statement devoted to "high" mindedness, in the literal sense of the word? Obviously those guys are a real self-help group.

Anyway, Better Homes says mushroom spores are too small to be seen, except under magnification. They are released from the undersides of mushroom caps, and since they contain no chlorophyll, they cannot sprout. Instead, they need to fall on soggy leaves, wet wood chips or coagulated compost. The spores mix with the growing medium to make something the scientists call spawn. Yeah, scientists. Told ya’.

The musher spawn works sort of like yeast does in your bread. Note to self: from now on, we are only using flatbread for sandwiches and toast.

Anyway, the musher’s roots grow first, long before the mushroom cap pushes out of the compost muck. Bhg.com says, "Mushrooms prefer dark, cool, moist and humid growing environments." Makes you wonder if any of those buggers will soon be popping out of the grout between your bathroom tile, doesn’t it? From now on, I’m leaving the light on in the bathroom. All night.

The trouble with those backyard babies, though, is that they are not nummy. In fact, they will probably turn you numb and then poison you. Ask.com lists several sites covering mushrooms found in North Dakota. Yes, I went to Ask. No way, no how am I going back to Google. Shroomery. Sheesh.

The North Dakota State University Extension Service website says the most common mushers found in our backyards are parasol mushrooms. They are not poison, exactly, but they do produce allergic reactions in some people. So don’t try to eat them unless you have a boatload of Benadryl on hand. And those knowledgeable NDSU scientists go on to say the parasol mushroom "closely resembles the destroying angel, the most poisonous mushroom in North America." Well OK, then. Are you feeling lucky?

Folks that graze on yard mushers are akin to folks that eat puffer fish sushi. Or play Russian roulette. Those are real once-in-a-lifetime experiences. And not in a good once-in-a lifetime way, either, like going to Disneyland or Wrestlemania. More like one and done.

The good news from NDSU just keeps coming. Those mushers are nearly impossible to eradicate in your yard. Apparently they grow for years underground, feeding on "decomposing old roots, tree stumps, pieces of lumber left by the contractor and so forth. Every time the weather is wet for a long period, they will produce their fruiting structures."

And what stands out in that info from NDSU? The word "years." That’s right. Years. Right now there may be a 100-year-old mushroom lurking under your compost heap. Bwaa-ha-ha!

So my backyard is full of M&M’s — mushrooms and mosquitos. Ask.com says most mosquitos live no more than 100 days. Hundred-year-old mushrooms and 100-day-old mosq uitos.

That’s the Backyard Theory of Relativity. Itching equals mushrooms times mosquitos, squared.

http://www.thedickinsonpress.com/lifestyles/accent/3776551-yard-mushrooms-yummy-snack-or-deadly-plant


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Offlinesearching
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Re: Shroomery mentioned in article about Mushrooms; "Yard mushrooms: Yummy snack or deadly plant?" [Re: Ogla] * 1
    #21881086 - 07/01/15 12:50 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Google is very helpful in offering sites to explain mushroom growth. Its top two were shroomery.org and "Better Homes and Gardens." I visited Shroomery and learned all sorts of interesting things about how to grow and use "magic mushrooms." Whoa! That site was no "Better Homes and Gardens," baby. Um, it’s not true that Google keeps all your search records, and turns them over to the government, is it?

The Better Homes site was tons more helpful and a great deal less shady than shroomery.org. C’mon, what sort of .org organization has a mission statement devoted to "high" mindedness, in the literal sense of the word? Obviously those guys are a real self-help group.





:rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:


I'm not even mad, that's just hilarious.


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OfflineTNK
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Re: Shroomery mentioned in article about Mushrooms; "Yard mushrooms: Yummy snack or deadly plant?" [Re: searching]
    #21881540 - 07/01/15 03:43 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

:ducklol:


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Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)


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OfflineNature Boy
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Re: Shroomery mentioned in article about Mushrooms; "Yard mushrooms: Yummy snack or deadly plant?" [Re: TNK] * 3
    #21881590 - 07/01/15 04:19 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

No credible author over the age of 16 starts two of their paragraphs with "Anyway,..."  :foreheadslap:

N.B.


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All submitted posts under this user name are works of pure fiction or outright lies.  Any information, statement, or assertion contained therein should be considered pure unadulterated bullshit.  Note well:  Sorry, but I do not answer PM's unless you are a long-time trusted friend.  If you have a question, ask it in the appropriate thread.

                                                                               


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OfflineHygrocybe
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Re: Shroomery mentioned in article about Mushrooms; "Yard mushrooms: Yummy snack or deadly plant?" [Re: Nature Boy]
    #21882117 - 07/01/15 09:21 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

They butchered the terminology. Parasola are the most common lawn mushroom, and resemble deadly Amanitas? :knockmeonmyass: :uhno: :huxleyfacepalm:


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OfflineGanjaburger
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Re: Shroomery mentioned in article about Mushrooms; "Yard mushrooms: Yummy snack or deadly plant?" [Re: Hygrocybe] * 1
    #21882163 - 07/01/15 09:39 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

The author is a dip shit. Horribly written, and  horrible Info!

Ganjaburger


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Trade /sell list...plenty of cube prints....microscope, two hundred dollar brand new Aerobed, and a ti-84+ calculator....


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Offlineenjoi-more
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Re: Shroomery mentioned in article about Mushrooms; "Yard mushrooms: Yummy snack or deadly plant?" [Re: Ganjaburger]
    #21883001 - 07/01/15 01:57 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

"No way, no how am I going back to Google. Shroomery. Sheesh."

Ha!

Did a 12 year old write this?


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OfflineTNK
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Re: Shroomery mentioned in article about Mushrooms; "Yard mushrooms: Yummy snack or deadly plant?" [Re: enjoi-more]
    #21883307 - 07/01/15 03:16 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

"Yard mushrooms: Yummy snack or deadly plant?"




Com'on guys, even the title contradicts everything horticulture and mycology stand for.

:lol:

Mushroom = Plant

lolwut


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Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)


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