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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
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Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 9 hours, 27 minutes
So my new roommate is a hot chick.
    #21872932 - 06/29/15 11:05 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

She's 35, looks no older than 34 1/2.

Recently divorced

Has 2 kids (Which won't live here)

She's here for 3 months.

Normally I don't mix sex and business but I just might make an exception if I see the opportunity

Wish me luck!!!

:datass:


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InvisibleOhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita Flag
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Patlal] * 6
    #21872937 - 06/29/15 11:05 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I don't see this ending well


--------------------

Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace..
Once and for all!


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
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Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 9 hours, 27 minutes
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: OhMrJohnson] * 1
    #21872939 - 06/29/15 11:06 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

OhMrJohnson said:
I don't see this ending well




Don't worry, I'll nut on her face.


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OfflineAchillita
Back to the basics
Male


Registered: 05/26/14
Posts: 4,565
Last seen: 3 years, 10 days
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: OhMrJohnson]
    #21872943 - 06/29/15 11:07 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

OhMrJohnson said:
I don't see this ending well




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Offlineqman
Stranger

Registered: 12/06/06
Posts: 34,927
Last seen: 4 hours, 22 minutes
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Patlal] * 1
    #21872944 - 06/29/15 11:07 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

If you drug and rape her she gets to keep her security deposit.  :cookiemonster:


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Offlinemanal
Stranger
Registered: 06/24/15
Posts: 4
Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Patlal]
    #21872954 - 06/29/15 11:08 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Hey i wish you luck but be carefully xx


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InvisibleSirShroomsAlott
Howdy
I'm a teapot


Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 6,945
Loc: United States Flag
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: qman]
    #21872960 - 06/29/15 11:09 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

It's only 3 months, worst case she ends up hating you, and unless you plan on marrying her, who cares if she does.

Slam that pussy, and slam it good. :youshouldtapthat:


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Offlinemanal
Stranger
Registered: 06/24/15
Posts: 4
Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: manal]
    #21872962 - 06/29/15 11:09 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

And treat and fuck her right xx


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OfflineCujllickduo
Male


Registered: 06/13/15
Posts: 19,552
Loc: England Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: qman]
    #21872963 - 06/29/15 11:09 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

qman said:
If you drug and rape her she gets to keep her security deposit.  :cookiemonster:





What he said :smile:
dont shit on your own doorstep


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Offlinetwelvelookslikeu
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Registered: 06/27/06
Posts: 738
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Cujllickduo]
    #21872973 - 06/29/15 11:11 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Pics


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OfflineAchillita
Back to the basics
Male


Registered: 05/26/14
Posts: 4,565
Last seen: 3 years, 10 days
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: twelvelookslikeu]
    #21872981 - 06/29/15 11:12 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

What if his new room mate happens to be a member on the shroomery, and now knows...


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OfflineCujllickduo
Male


Registered: 06/13/15
Posts: 19,552
Loc: England Flag
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Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: twelvelookslikeu]
    #21872998 - 06/29/15 11:13 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

sorry i dont understand :/

need to see pics if shes as hot as you say she is :burke:


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InvisibleMr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter
I'm a teapot

Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Cujllickduo]
    #21873017 - 06/29/15 11:16 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

in b4 pics


--------------------
I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart.
I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineCujllickduo
Male


Registered: 06/13/15
Posts: 19,552
Loc: England Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Mr.PhilCybin]
    #21873022 - 06/29/15 11:17 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

:woah:


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
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Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 9 hours, 27 minutes
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Cujllickduo]
    #21873060 - 06/29/15 11:21 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

No pics. She my roommate and my business info is confidential.



Fucking pervs...


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
Trans-male User Gallery


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc: Flag
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Patlal]
    #21873073 - 06/29/15 11:23 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

We all know you wont be able to close the deal Pat

:frenchtroll:


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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Invisiblepsi
TOAST N' JAM
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Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,456
Loc: 613 Flag
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21873096 - 06/29/15 11:26 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I predict OP will do something to land himself in jail before month 2.


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InvisibleMr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter
I'm a teapot

Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: psi]
    #21873102 - 06/29/15 11:27 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

she's ugly


--------------------
I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart.
I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineBjorn_Stormcrow
The Farfarer.
Male


Registered: 09/27/12
Posts: 2,572
Loc: Toronto, Ontario, Canada Flag
Last seen: 1 month, 1 day
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Mr.PhilCybin]
    #21873109 - 06/29/15 11:28 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

invite me over some time and we'll tag team her :wink:


--------------------
Live Mythically



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Offlinestratocast
Has Been
Male


Registered: 04/11/15
Posts: 345
Loc: ohio, U.S.
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Bjorn_Stormcrow] * 1
    #21873118 - 06/29/15 11:29 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Fuck her right in the pussy.


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Offlineqman
Stranger

Registered: 12/06/06
Posts: 34,927
Last seen: 4 hours, 22 minutes
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Bjorn_Stormcrow]
    #21873142 - 06/29/15 11:31 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

OP will be friend-zoned within the next 48 hours. :bigyesnod:


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
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Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 9 hours, 27 minutes
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: qman]
    #21873189 - 06/29/15 11:37 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

qman said:
OP will be friend-zoned within the next 48 hours. :bigyesnod:




Yeah.......

Quite possibly


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
Stranger
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Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Patlal]
    #21873209 - 06/29/15 11:40 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

If he waits for a good opportunity he won't get friend-zoned until the mood is right. That could easily be a month or two away.


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InvisibleAdden
I'm a teapot
Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc: Flag
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Patlal] * 1
    #21873213 - 06/29/15 11:41 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

DSHSB

I have faith in you, young padawan.


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Offlinetwelvelookslikeu
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Registered: 06/27/06
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Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Adden]
    #21873301 - 06/29/15 11:53 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Dont give her much attention she will want the D


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Invisiblemyc_check1212
Through Brass
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Registered: 05/18/09
Posts: 4,545
Loc: Rio Lobo
how it should read: So my dads new tenant is a hot chick. [Re: Patlal] * 2
    #21873373 - 06/29/15 12:06 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
She's 35, looks no older than 34 1/2.

Recently divorced

Has 2 kids (Which won't live here)

She's here for 3 months.

Normally I am told by dad to not creep on his  business but I just might make an exception if I see the opportunity to make an absolute ass out of my dad and I.

Wish me luck!!!

:datass:




How it should read, because that first op wasn't weird enough


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InvisibleBurke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Patlal]
    #21873385 - 06/29/15 12:09 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Why doesn't she live with her children?  Unless she had them both by the time she was 17, they're both minors.


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OfflineBassfreak
ManBearPig
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Registered: 08/24/10
Posts: 18,014
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Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Burke Dennings]
    #21873418 - 06/29/15 12:19 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Burke Dennings said:
Why doesn't she live with her children?  Unless she had them both by the time she was 17, they're both minors.





she must be a bad mom


--------------------
Tom Brady is a God

Free Tom Brady


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
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Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 2 hours, 59 minutes
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Burke Dennings]
    #21873437 - 06/29/15 12:23 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Maybe the father has custody? :shrug:


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
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Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 9 hours, 27 minutes
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21873714 - 06/29/15 01:49 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I believe that the bought her share of the house and she's taking 3 month to transition and find herself a new house to buy. In the meantime, the kids are in the fathers house so they don't get moved around too much


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Invisiblemillzy
Male

Registered: 05/12/10
Posts: 12,404
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Patlal]
    #21873733 - 06/29/15 01:53 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

say goodbye to openly farting in your household.

:feelssadman:


--------------------
I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger


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OfflinePLURAL
PLUR
Male

Registered: 01/16/14
Posts: 31,320
Loc: PLUR
Last seen: 2 months, 28 days
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: qman] * 1
    #21876674 - 06/30/15 05:57 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

qman said:
If you drug and rape her she gets to keep her security deposit.  :cookiemonster:



I will never understand what it is that drives people to make comments like this.


--------------------
PLUR


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OfflineLucisM
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: millzy]
    #21876689 - 06/30/15 06:04 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

millzy said:
say goodbye to openly farting in your household.

:feelssadman:





Fuck that, you better lay some ground rules down.

Rule #1-I'm a goddamn man and men fart, get used to it.


--------------------
©️


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InvisibleSirShroomsAlott
Howdy
I'm a teapot


Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 6,945
Loc: United States Flag
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: PLURAL]
    #21876692 - 06/30/15 06:04 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Seems like a pretty clear attempt at humor to me, I'm sure qman thinks rape is more serious than just a security deposit.


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OfflineFreeTheSoul
The wonderer.
Registered: 01/04/14
Posts: 2,297
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: SirShroomsAlott] * 1
    #21876701 - 06/30/15 06:07 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Shes going to cause roommate drama and steal peoples potatoes.


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Invisiblemyc_check1212
Through Brass
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/18/09
Posts: 4,545
Loc: Rio Lobo
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: SirShroomsAlott] * 1
    #21876716 - 06/30/15 06:14 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

It was a joke, a play off of the OPs wiener post. Tasteless probably, however after seeing this board last month I doubt any of you know how to make a decent post.

"oh there's a hot girl in my house, time to creep hard and post about it even though I should know better":failboat:

Its nice to see the rest of you dipshits concerned about farting in the house and why are the kids with her. Not the serious rapey vibe being put out. Wonder why shrommery is in its darkest hour?


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InvisibleSirShroomsAlott
Howdy
I'm a teapot


Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 6,945
Loc: United States Flag
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: myc_check1212]
    #21876728 - 06/30/15 06:21 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Where do you see a rape vibe apart from the comments that look like clear jokes.

If making jokes is the same thing as condoning rape in your mind, then I'd say that's why you have a problem with the Shroomery lately. It's not a real problem, just your problem with it, but we don't all interpret it the same way you do.



Edited by SirShroomsAlott (06/30/15 06:29 AM)


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Offlineqman
Stranger

Registered: 12/06/06
Posts: 34,927
Last seen: 4 hours, 22 minutes
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: PLURAL]
    #21876883 - 06/30/15 07:34 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Treant said:
Quote:

qman said:
If you drug and rape her she gets to keep her security deposit.  :cookiemonster:



I will never understand what it is that drives people to make comments like this.




The use of satire to make people laugh is the drive and motivation behind that comment.  Who are you, the satire police?  :lol:


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OfflineBeanhead
IS IRONIC PARADOX
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Registered: 10/11/08
Posts: 17,257
Loc: Geospatial inversion.
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Patlal]
    #21876888 - 06/30/15 07:36 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
She's 35, looks no older than 34 1/2.

Recently divorced

Has 2 kids (Which won't live here)

She's here for 3 months.

Normally I don't mix sex and business but I just might make an exception if I see the opportunity

Wish me luck!!!

:datass:




OH MOMMA HOW YOU DOOIINNNN


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OfflinePLURAL
PLUR
Male

Registered: 01/16/14
Posts: 31,320
Loc: PLUR
Last seen: 2 months, 28 days
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: qman] * 1
    #21876901 - 06/30/15 07:43 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

I am no one, I'm not even actually here.

:peace:


--------------------
PLUR


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
Trans-male User Gallery


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc: Flag
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: PLURAL]
    #21877008 - 06/30/15 08:33 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Treant said:
Quote:

qman said:
If you drug and rape her she gets to keep her security deposit.  :cookiemonster:



I will never understand what it is that drives people to make comments like this.



+1s


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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Offlinenicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard
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Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
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Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Patlal] * 1
    #21877024 - 06/30/15 08:39 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

TLDR- are you balls deep yet OP?


--------------------
"Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent:
it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not."

John C. Lily

 


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Offlineqman
Stranger

Registered: 12/06/06
Posts: 34,927
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Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: nicechrisman] * 4
    #21877039 - 06/30/15 08:45 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

nicechrisman said:
TLDR- are you balls deep yet OP?




He's negotiating a -50% discount on her rent for a hand-job. :lol:


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OfflineManianFHS
living in perverty
 User Gallery

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,741
Last seen: 2 hours, 40 minutes
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Patlal] * 1
    #21877248 - 06/30/15 09:46 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

If u like her try listening at her door at night to see if she talks about u. The more she brings up ur name the better chance u have. U can also collect her clothes when she's not home then when she's all bummed because she lost her underwear u can be a nice guy and surprise her with new ones. She'll be extra excited to see that u know her exact size. Also try touching and licking her food in the fridge. Most people don't know but we all leave pheromones on things we touch and when others interact with them they pick up this molecules and become sexually attracted to us.

If I were u I'd also look through photos of her friends and old boyfriends and start dressing like them, doing my hair and trimming my mustache to match people from her past, it will help her associate u with things she's familiar with and hopefully has good memories with. Also keep a log of when she comes home, showers, and leaves that way u can work your schedule around hers. Also leave some porno tapes Laing around ur room with the door open so she knows you're kinky


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: nicechrisman]
    #21877256 - 06/30/15 09:47 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

nicechrisman said:
TLDR- are you balls deep yet OP?





this.

he aint a man if he hasnt tapped that shit yet


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 9 hours, 27 minutes
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #21877257 - 06/30/15 09:48 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Jesus people. She's moving in this week lol


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Offlineqman
Stranger

Registered: 12/06/06
Posts: 34,927
Last seen: 4 hours, 22 minutes
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Patlal] * 1
    #21877268 - 06/30/15 09:50 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

She'll be bringing home 2-3 different dudes every week and the whole house will be hearing their sex marathons throughout the night.


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 9 hours, 27 minutes
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: qman]
    #21877290 - 06/30/15 09:55 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Funny enough, when I first started renting room, a bombshell was living upstairs right next to my room. The walls are paper thin and she had a boyfriend. She moaned a lot. I practically heard everything right down to the sound of a blowjob.

At first I didn't know how to approach the subject because its awkward and embarassing. But I had to eventually cause others heard her too and it created a weird atmosphere in the house. like "I know what you sound like when you have sex" and "Hey guy, I'm totally clueless that you know what I sound like when I have sex".

It was weird for everybody


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Invisiblemillzy
Male

Registered: 05/12/10
Posts: 12,404
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: ManianFH]
    #21877343 - 06/30/15 10:07 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

mick said:
If u like her try listening at her door at night to see if she talks about u. The more she brings up ur name the better chance u have. U can also collect her clothes when she's not home then when she's all bummed because she lost her underwear u can be a nice guy and surprise her with new ones. She'll be extra excited to see that u know her exact size. Also try touching and licking her food in the fridge. Most people don't know but we all leave pheromones on things we touch and when others interact with them they pick up this molecules and become sexually attracted to us.

If I were u I'd also look through photos of her friends and old boyfriends and start dressing like them, doing my hair and trimming my mustache to match people from her past, it will help her associate u with things she's familiar with and hopefully has good memories with. Also keep a log of when she comes home, showers, and leaves that way u can work your schedule around hers. Also leave some porno tapes Laing around ur room with the door open so she knows you're kinky




:superscream:


--------------------
I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger


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OfflineAchillita
Back to the basics
Male


Registered: 05/26/14
Posts: 4,565
Last seen: 3 years, 10 days
Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: ManianFH] * 1
    #21877366 - 06/30/15 10:14 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

mick said:
If u like her try listening at her door at night to see if she talks about u. The more she brings up ur name the better chance u have. U can also collect her clothes when she's not home then when she's all bummed because she lost her underwear u can be a nice guy and surprise her with new ones. She'll be extra excited to see that u know her exact size. Also try touching and licking her food in the fridge. Most people don't know but we all leave pheromones on things we touch and when others interact with them they pick up this molecules and become sexually attracted to us.

If I were u I'd also look through photos of her friends and old boyfriends and start dressing like them, doing my hair and trimming my mustache to match people from her past, it will help her associate u with things she's familiar with and hopefully has good memories with. Also keep a log of when she comes home, showers, and leaves that way u can work your schedule around hers. Also leave some porno tapes Laing around ur room with the door open so she knows you're kinky



:awwhellno:


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Patlal] * 1
    #21877776 - 06/30/15 12:01 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Here's Patlal's opening line when they first get some alone time.



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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: So my new roommate is a hot chick. [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #21878159 - 06/30/15 01:33 PM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Nice there trying to rent out there other room. I'm hoping it's a hot chick that slides through. :lol: or a chill dude friend my age would be cool too.


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