Hi there,
first post in these forums. I had an intensely spiritual and life changing experience with HBWR and felt compelled to create an account just to share it.
Short summary: - intense purge - went to a place outside of time and space where I could meet the different spirits that live on the Earth, including Gaia, plant spirits, the mushroom spirit and most important of all the human spirit - learned how to "manifest" my own body - understood more deeply the difference between objective and subjective reality and the meaning of "Maya", the illusion of reality when it is a construct of our awareness.
Preparation Used a coffee blender to grind 5-7 seeds then put them in a couple tea spoons of lime juice and drank with orange juice. The goal was to limit nausea, but that did not work haha. However that's fine, it seems to me that the purge is a key part of the trip and is what really allowed it to take-off.
Set and setting My bedroom, quiet day. Ingested the dedoction around 3PM, lying on my bed reading a book about shamanism and listening to some shamanic songs.
Not much effect for 30 minutes, then slight rise of the feeling of an LSD trip with very heavy body load, onset of nausea. Slight LSD mind space of how everything is connected etc, but it seems that the trip is not going anywhere. My body starts to get a bit shaky and I am sweating so I get up and try to do some Yoga moves to move a little bit the energy around, I feel better but as soon as I sit down the nausea comes back. My inner voice tells me that it's time for the purge. Go to the bathroom and have the most explosive puke I have ever had, but it feels alright. After that I lie down and can really go into the trip. I can feel very strongly the presence of the plant spirit inside me, like a carrier wave, or like a person living inside me.
The trip
After the purge, I felt really exhausted and needed to take some rest, so I felt asleep and asked the spirit of the plant inside me to teach me. As I fall asleep, I retain my awareness. I could feel my body being asleep, as well as my mind, yet I am aware of being in a space that does not exist in time and being able to think without using my brain.
As my body feels further and further away, the spirit of the plan took me to a place where there is no time, but there is shape. There is a sense of designing morphogenetic fields through feeling / being them. A bit like when I think of moving my hand to the right and it moves to the right, in that space it felt as if I imagine having an extra hand and over millenia my DNA would evolve to make that possible. It's a place where the spirits design the template for DNA to fill.
I could feel the spirits of many plants in there that I have carried before through essential oils or eating them: Sage, the Marijuana, the mushrooms. I could also feel the spirits of animals: fishes, eagles, and many other animals as pure shapes, feelings and energy. It is similar to the feeling one gets when going very deep in a Yoga pose.
Finally I could feel myself, the spirit of humanity and I sort of felt and understood how we are creating our species. Based on how we feel our own body, emotions and mind, how we decide to be and feel in each instant, we are shaping at the same time what our body looks like but also our whole human race in the past and future. It was as if by feeling x or y we would start to see that around us as well. e.g X could be happiness, sexual excitement, hunger etc. The overarching presence was very peaceful and loving, it was like being part of a substrate that shapes things by being around them like a womb. Like black matter being there to help reflect light.
My humble guess is that it was the spirit of Gaia the Earth. It also felt as if this divine feminine spirit existed out of time and its role was to shape things, it felt a bit like going underground into a warm and cozy place, back into the womb, outside of time, being there in eternity.
But then the time came and I was ready to βliveβ again because I wanted to continue my human experience. I said I was not ready for death yet and wanted more life. This is when the "spirit of the father" came to me, the divine masculine which embodied itself as breath. In that timeless place I only had two things: - free will, which means willpower and the ability to focus - breath, the ability to expand and contract the black matter
As I said, I wanted to have the experience of life again, so for that to happen, I had to "create" time again. I start doing that by wanting it very hard, by breathing and focusing all of my willpower, all my energy on my breath and by expanding it. It was a real struggle but it felt as if i was recreating the whole word through affirming it, saying there is time, i am a human, i want to live, i want to exist, then i had a very long struggle to stay awake, keep breathing and come back to the surface.
It felt as if i was removing all of my weaknesses to become a better person, more present, more alive and i really felt like resurrecting. Suddenly all the ancient biblical stories about God saying let there be light, separating the water from the light, creating human out of clay and in his image, Jesus being resurrected, all of them became very clear and I experienced all of that Genesis of the world directly through my own consciousness. It was the deepest understanding I ever had of life and spiritual knowledge.
Our own consciousness is creating the world by seing it and assigning meaning to it.
I also understood how the universe fullfills our wishes by giving us abilities and balancing them out with pleasure / pain, lack /satiety. All the plants and things we can see and imagine were created from our mind first. There was a first human who wanted to smell the smell of flowers and this is how we became able to smell. There was the first human who wanted to feel the feeling of eating, and this is how we became able to taste. For each of these senses we develop, the universe created them with balance by providing us the pleasure but also the craving for it (e.g. hunger) to allow them to be differentiated and possible to be experienced.
As I kept coming back to life, more refined concepts like the creation of the ego and the conception of time, memory past and future, planning that allow shape to exist ran through my consciousness.
I also learned a key skill for anyone interested in consciousness: we can grow by making a contract with the surrounding consciousness field. Mine was: I will regain my full health and awareness as long as I am able to stay awake and breath for the next hour. It was a real struggle but it really allowed me to come back into my body while learning the story of the human spirit.
After all this was finished and I was back into my regular reality, I asked to learn the lesson of humility and apologized for my behavior (because i had treated the HBWR so casually like one would smoke a joint, almost forcefully) - there was a difficult moment where i puked everywhere at the foot of my bed and then cleaned up. Yet that cleaning up was extremely spiritual and very humbling: all the objects i had touched with my puke, i could remember some bad word i had or some bad behavior i had related to them, from very large to very small.
As i was cleaning all of this i was coming to peace with myself, seeing my defects and learning from it. For each object that had been stained, I could understand the perspective of the other end, the interaction from the point of view of the person that gave it to me and how me being selfish or blunt had hurt them and I grew from it. Cleaning up puke never felt so spiritual before haha.
Conclusion
Eventually i realized that with our words we create our reality. We become what we want by being it. We are manifesting our emotions, our thoughts, our body. As we create realities, by respecting it and loving the universe, it allows the universe to create circumstances where it can love us back, through people, situations, foods, plants, gifts etc. There is no evil but the one we see, there is no demon but the one we seek or create by wanting one thing then feeling guilty about it or hating it. Every time we bring something into our world then fear or hate it, the universe suffers and energy is wasted. But every time we bring something and love it, the universe grows.
When we focus inwards and think of ourselves we sort of enter the realm of the dead and below, when we focus outwards on the others by being silent, we learn and enter the realm of living and supra living.
In the end there is only one rule: ask for the things you really want, love them without guilt and be yourself
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