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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
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Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: Stonehenge]
    #21849798 - 06/24/15 10:25 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

You can only do what you have right now in front of you. For me....It was very important to spend as much time with them as possible. This means driving them to dr. appointments or mowing the lawn....the tough stuff that a lot of people blow off. Just being available to help gives them peace of mind. Take them somewhere that they always wanted to go if you have the means.

That way, when they do pass....you will have no regrets...and, hopefully, you will have affirmations, like I did that they were just fine when they did pass...there is something out there more grand than our physical minds can grasp. The spirit does not just vanish and die.:sunny::peace:


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Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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OfflineMorgenstern
WHAT!

Registered: 06/07/09
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Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #21849904 - 06/24/15 10:57 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Man, something I think about every so often.  Remember that when they're passing away, it's a part of you that is too.  You gotta let them know that you love them.  I can't imagine my parents deaths would rest easy on my mind if I didn't.

Quote:

Thayendanegea said:
The spirit does not just vanish and die.:sunny::peace:




It carries on.  :sun:


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OfflineCj-B
All the same...I saw it first.
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Registered: 07/16/11
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Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: Citizen X]
    #21850106 - 06/24/15 11:47 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Citizen X said:
You keep living your life the way you should. You mourn their passing but keep going on. I know they are proud of me and that helped me to move forward.

You can't prepare yourself for those kinds of losses, you think you can but you can't.





:whathesaid: For me the death itself wasn't the horrible part, it was the time leading up to it. Watching someone you love and respect wither into a walking corpse is far worse than their death is.


--------------------
"I have no way of knowing whether you, who eventually will read this record, like stories or not. If you do not, no doubt you have turned these pages without attention. I confess that I love them. Indeed, it often seems to me that of all the good things in the world, the only ones humanity can claim for itself are stories and music; the rest, mercy, beauty, sleep, clean water and hot food (as the Ascian would have said) are all the work of the Increate. Thus, stories are small things indeed in the scheme of the universe, but it is hard not to love best what is our own—hard for me, at least."


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InvisibleAmanita86
OTD Keymaster
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: Cj-B]
    #21850124 - 06/24/15 11:56 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I agree on that when you see a strong independant person not be able to do things but they still maintain or insist they have to because its what they've always done.  Like my grandma and making the meals.  You could tell it killed her spirit when us "kids" had to take over things like christmas and thanksgiving meals.  She always cooked, its what she was made to do, she insisted on it.  And then she just couldnt do it. 

But its funny, she always makes a point to tell whats where and "now if you see anything you want, you go ahead and fix it"

My grandpap took a few tumbles insisting he work his garden and do things like that and then he had to stop.  Prideful people man..they cut their way, and then their bodies gave out.  Fucking depressing man..


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: Amanita86]
    #21850140 - 06/24/15 12:03 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

The last thing my grandpap said to me was "come back when you can stay a little longer"..  gone, just like that..


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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OfflineMinnesnowtaNice
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Registered: 09/18/13
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Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: Amanita86]
    #21850178 - 06/24/15 12:15 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Life is a hell of a thing to happen to a person.


You can't be sad when someone you loved has passed, it happens, sometimes more tragic than others but you can't dwell on it, you just have to keep on going.


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we are all thought forms in a cloud of synchronistic events.




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OfflineTNK
Pleasures of Africa
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Registered: 01/30/10
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Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: Amanita86]
    #21850192 - 06/24/15 12:17 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Amanita86 said:
At the rate I'm going they'll probably be the ones that see me go.  I'm sure whoever knows me will handle it fine..




Wow, this may be the most emotional thing I can relate to.

That pretty much sums up how I feel, and it makes me feel like shit.

If I lost my mom, or grandma, I would lose it in a drug fuel'd rage.


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Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)


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OfflineMinnesnowtaNice
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Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: TNK]
    #21850196 - 06/24/15 12:18 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Fuck it it's not like any of this is real anyways ....


--------------------
we are all thought forms in a cloud of synchronistic events.




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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: MinnesnowtaNice]
    #21850208 - 06/24/15 12:20 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

..it feels pretty real.


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
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Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: MinnesnowtaNice]
    #21850214 - 06/24/15 12:21 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

We didn't do anything.  I had a BBQ with some cousins after Dad died but he was in charge of my mother's ritual and didn't care to do anything.  No funerals, cremation, I have no idea where the ashes are.  We're not really wrapped up in that kind of shit.  In fact, my family kind of hates that nonsense.


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #21850314 - 06/24/15 12:46 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

In simple terms, lost my fucking mind. My grandma and mom died within a month or two of each other. Hit me a lot harder that I was really equipped to deal with. My already bad alcoholism and insomnia both skyrocketed and there were a lot of consequences from that.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflineTNK
Pleasures of Africa
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Registered: 01/30/10
Posts: 14,237
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Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21850326 - 06/24/15 12:49 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomslip said:
In simple terms, lost my fucking mind. My grandma and mom died within a month or two of each other. Hit me a lot harder that I was really equipped to deal with. My already bad alcoholism and insomnia both skyrocketed and there were a lot of consequences from that.




I am deeply, deeply sorry for your loss shroomslip.

I cannot fathom the idea of that, but my grandma is aging quiet fast and it worries me.


--------------------
Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)


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Offlinemy3rdeye
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Registered: 08/10/12
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Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: zappaisgod]
    #21850364 - 06/24/15 12:57 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Whatever you do don't avoid every funeral and then have your first funeral ever be your parents. That was my buddy and i had to plan the funeral as he was a fucking mess.
Modern western society allows you to hide from death which is unhealthy. All primitive societies on the planet have funeral rituals and the whole village comes its been like that since caveman days. Reaching adulthood without attending a funeral is unhealthy.


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Offlinezappaisgod
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Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: my3rdeye]
    #21850451 - 06/24/15 01:17 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

My family isn't real big on ritual.


--------------------


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InvisibleStonehenge
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Registered: 06/20/04
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Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: zappaisgod]
    #21850617 - 06/24/15 02:00 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

They just shove them into the ground and go back to partying?


--------------------
“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship.” (attributed to Alexis de Tocqueville political philosopher Circa 1835)

Trade list http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/18047755


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Offlineteamkiller
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Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: my3rdeye]
    #21850632 - 06/24/15 02:05 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

my3rdeye said:
Whatever you do don't avoid every funeral and then have your first funeral ever be your parents. That was my buddy and i had to plan the funeral as he was a fucking mess.
Modern western society allows you to hide from death which is unhealthy. All primitive societies on the planet have funeral rituals and the whole village comes its been like that since caveman days. Reaching adulthood without attending a funeral is unhealthy.




interesting, i decided a long time ago to never go to funerals. Whats the downside?


--------------------


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OfflineMinnesnowtaNice
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Registered: 09/18/13
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Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: teamkiller]
    #21850671 - 06/24/15 02:14 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I don't do funerals man, and I've missed quite a few I should have been at.


--------------------
we are all thought forms in a cloud of synchronistic events.




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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: teamkiller]
    #21850679 - 06/24/15 02:16 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

teamkiller said:
Quote:

my3rdeye said:
Whatever you do don't avoid every funeral and then have your first funeral ever be your parents. That was my buddy and i had to plan the funeral as he was a fucking mess.
Modern western society allows you to hide from death which is unhealthy. All primitive societies on the planet have funeral rituals and the whole village comes its been like that since caveman days. Reaching adulthood without attending a funeral is unhealthy.




interesting, i decided a long time ago to never go to funerals. Whats the downside?



I swore them off after my brother's funeral. I'm not sure what difference the funeral for him made vs not having one for my mom, grandfather or grandmother. They all fucked me up pretty equally. If anything I think the funeral just made things worse on me. Instead of just being able to grieve I had do it in front of an audience. What grown man wants to cry like a 5 year old in front of everyone?


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflineTNK
Pleasures of Africa
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Registered: 01/30/10
Posts: 14,237
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Last seen: 1 month, 18 days
Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: MinnesnowtaNice]
    #21850703 - 06/24/15 02:21 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

MinnesnowtaNice said:
I don't do funerals man, and I've missed quite a few I should have been at.




Yup.


--------------------
Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)


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OfflineMinnesnowtaNice
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Re: What did you do when you lost your parents [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21850706 - 06/24/15 02:22 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Shit sucks, I would much rather have a life celebration than a funeral. And I don't care what anyone says about this but FUCK CHRISTIAN FUNERALS, never again will I go to one, I was there to put my buddy to rest and the fucking pasture is up there telling us that we are all sinners and that we need to repent and ask for gods forgiveness. So fucking insulting to the deceased, who we are suppose to be there for.


--------------------
we are all thought forms in a cloud of synchronistic events.




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