Home | Community | Message Board

MRCA Tyroler Gluckspilze
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Bridgetown Botanicals CBD Topicals   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   Original Sensible Seeds Feminized Cannabis Seeds

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2 | Next >  [ show all ]
Anonymous #1

I need to sex.
    #21834207 - 06/20/15 09:52 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I'm not kidding around here.  I'm in pain.  Are there any milfs with a :heart: that can help a brother out here?  This hurts man.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMr. Material
Mental Magician


Registered: 06/10/10
Posts: 607
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
Re: I need to sex. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21834263 - 06/20/15 10:03 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Craigslist.


--------------------
I base my morality on physical nature; and my personal philosophy is based in power.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: I need to sex. [Re: Mr. Material]
    #21834284 - 06/20/15 10:08 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I don't need herpes I need sex.  My balls are about to split.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
Re: I need to sex. [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #21834313 - 06/20/15 10:14 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Me. It will give me greater meaning in my life. Which means afterwards you can go around telling everybody that you had sex for altruistic purposes, not everybody can say that you know.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: I need to sex. [Re: Crystal G]
    #21834355 - 06/20/15 10:21 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

God I wish you were within reaching distance.  I'm here to tell you this wouldn't be a one off treat.  I'd feel real comfortable getting a few party favors and turning this into a 3 or 4 day event.  It's really tough not knowing anyone where Im at.  Kind of depressing, and taking it's toll in more way than one.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblephilopian_tube

Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 443
Re: I need to sex. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21834399 - 06/20/15 10:30 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Yellowpages


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: I need to sex. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21834407 - 06/20/15 10:32 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I should take pictures.  It's just like out there.  My sack is in full on  :zomgwtf: mode.  I've never been this far away from someone I've known.  Has a penis ever split before?  It's stressing out my heart.  This can't be healthy.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: I need to sex. [Re: philopian_tube]
    #21834417 - 06/20/15 10:35 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

philopian_tube said:
Yellowpages



Who would I call there?  I'm about to go knocking around my neighbors and ask for a cup of sugar.  One of them has to pick up on what I'm asking.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblephilopian_tube

Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 443
Re: I need to sex. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21834427 - 06/20/15 10:37 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Escorts!

I'm more curious about Crystal G's testosterone levels though.


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: I need to sex. [Re: philopian_tube]
    #21834461 - 06/20/15 10:45 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I'm more interested in how gentle she can be.  If you were to give my weiner a strong stare it would double me over.  I'm in trouble man, this is painful.  My next nutt is going to put me out of work.  My dickhead is fucking purple.  This isn't cool man.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblephilopian_tube

Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 443
Re: I need to sex. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21834526 - 06/20/15 11:03 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Use that energy and put it towards something badass, like killing a tiger with your bare hands.

The rest of your tribe will watch in admiration. The men will want to become your ally and the women will want to mate with you because you are a protector.


--------------------


Edited by philopian_tube (06/20/15 11:04 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #2

Re: I need to sex. [Re: Crystal G]
    #21834546 - 06/20/15 11:08 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Me. It will give me greater meaning in my life. Which means afterwards you can go around telling everybody that you had sex for altruistic purposes, not everybody can say that you know.



Crystal G you should work as a therapist specific to potential sex offenders and guys who are at high risk.  You could definitely prevent rapes and allot of really fucked up shit from happening.:fuckinawesome:if I ever meet you and ask you straight up can you fuck me please? Would you do it?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: I need to sex. [Re: philopian_tube]
    #21834561 - 06/20/15 11:11 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

philopian_tube said:
Use that energy and put it towards something badass, like killing a tiger with your bare hands.

The rest of your tribe will watch in admiration. The men will want to become your ally and the women will want to mate with you because you are a protector.



I do that anyways.  It's just that I moved, I don't know anyone:wtfsonic:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: I need to sex. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #21834566 - 06/20/15 11:14 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
if I ever meet you and ask you straight up can you fuck me please? Would you do it?



How about we tag team her?  I imagine she would like the double up.  We can make a few day thing out of this.  We'll all sleep soundly.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: I need to sex. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21834579 - 06/20/15 11:18 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Maybe crystal has some friends she would like to invite and we can really get this thing going?

I still want first run with her though.  I want her first orgasm noises on me.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
Re: I need to sex. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21834720 - 06/20/15 11:50 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Quote:

Crystal G said:
Me. It will give me greater meaning in my life. Which means afterwards you can go around telling everybody that you had sex for altruistic purposes, not everybody can say that you know.



Crystal G you should work as a therapist specific to potential sex offenders and guys who are at high risk.  You could definitely prevent rapes and allot of really fucked up shit from happening.:fuckinawesome:if I ever meet you and ask you straight up can you fuck me please? Would you do it?




:lolsy: Maybe. Depends what mind-state I'm in or who I'm dating at the time I meet you.

I guess under the right circumstances, under the influence of the right combo of drugs, I would say yes to almost anything. LOL

I guess if I was single and super horny and coming down off meth and you asked me this question after offering me a glass of GHB-spiked Coca Cola, I would say yes no matter who you were. :lol:

Quote:

philopian_tube said:
Escorts!

I'm more curious about Crystal G's testosterone levels though.




Probably pretty high, you can tell by my deep husky man voice and my square jaw and propensity for violence and risk-taking behavior, that I have pretty high natural test levels. :lol:

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Maybe crystal has some friends she would like to invite and we can really get this thing going?

I still want first run with her though.  I want her first orgasm noises on me.




:zomgzomgzomg:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: I need to sex. [Re: Crystal G]
    #21834760 - 06/20/15 11:58 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Indeed.  I feel like we would have interesting conversations during the cool down periods.  I think you and I might just hit it off, it's a shame you're so far away.  You come across as one of those people I'd give the key to my front door to and see what happens.  Strictly free birds.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
Re: I need to sex. [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #21834821 - 06/21/15 12:10 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Indeed.  I feel like we would have interesting conversations during the cool down periods.  I think you and I might just hit it off, it's a shame you're so far away.  You come across as one of those people I'd give the key to my front door to and see what happens.  Strictly free birds.




You know what would happen? You would come home every week to find random things like half-eaten pints of ice cream, tweezers, cheese graters, chopsticks, and other random belongings gone mysteriously from your house.

Cause I'm a burglar and a thief you know. But I'm only interested in stealing things that are $5 or less.

No, seriously, I'm not joking. All my friends have complained about me stealing the dumbest shit from their house without saying anything, only to have them later find it at my house.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblephilopian_tube

Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 443
Re: I need to sex. [Re: Crystal G]
    #21834835 - 06/21/15 12:14 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

philopian_tube said:
Escorts!

I'm more curious about Crystal G's testosterone levels though.




Probably pretty high, you can tell by my deep husky man voice and my square jaw and propensity for violence and risk-taking behavior, that I have pretty high natural test levels. :lol:




Crystal G? More like Crystal Reed.



Like seriously? Look at that Jaw. Who knew such a masculine trait can accentuate a female face rather pleasantly.


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: I need to sex. [Re: Crystal G]
    #21834841 - 06/21/15 12:16 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Jokes on you, I dont have any of that stuff around.  Id line you up if you stole my nail clippers:crankey:  but other than that take what you want.  As easy as you carried it out that door you can carry it right back in.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2 | Next >  [ show all ]

Shop: Bridgetown Botanicals CBD Topicals   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   Original Sensible Seeds Feminized Cannabis Seeds


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* The new NEW sexy ladies of the Shroomery thread
( 1 2 3 4 ... 358 359 )
Acidic_SlothM 111,195 7,176 08/18/14 09:47 PM
by automan
* The brand new sexy ladies thread
( 1 2 3 4 ... 543 544 )
Cyclohexylamine 196,901 10,861 02/22/16 11:30 AM
by automan
* Is abstinence sexual paranoia?
( 1 2 3 4 all )
DoctorJ 2,218 61 03/26/18 03:25 PM
by Jokeshopbeard
* The new sexy ladies of the Shroomery thread
( 1 2 3 4 ... 555 556 )
koraks 263,361 11,110 02/01/14 05:10 PM
by automan
* 10/10 - Describe the IDEAL body of the partner of your dreams
( 1 2 3 4 5 all )
Asante 3,608 85 09/07/18 07:31 PM
by mndfreeze
* I lose interest in guys after I have sex with them
( 1 2 3 4 5 all )
Crystal G 1,174 95 07/28/14 01:13 AM
by Crystal G
* Group Sex & Gangbangs
( 1 2 3 4 ... 13 14 )
Crystal G 13,356 271 05/16/12 07:18 PM
by snoot
* Attracted to a big peruvian girl.
( 1 2 all )
Anonymous 900 20 05/09/12 09:04 PM
by Anonymous

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Middleman, Shroomism, automan, yogabunny, CookieCrumbs
269 topic views. 0 members, 2 guests and 0 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.025 seconds spending 0.008 seconds on 17 queries.