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unsui888
Embodied


Registered: 10/11/08
Posts: 1,154
Loc: United States
Last seen: 4 months, 2 hours
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First Ayahuasca Ceremony
#21826640 - 06/19/15 03:16 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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So I have my 1st ceremony in about 18-20 hrs. I've been dieting for the past 5 days, abstained from alcohol for 2 weeks and weed for a month, and have had no sex for the past 2 days. We each had to build a "spirit arrow" which is essentially the embodiment of our intention, and we will each have to say one word that describes our intention before we drink the brew. My intention word is "rediscovery" as I am hoping to rediscover a part of myself that I feel was dissolved with my heroin addiction. In short, I'm hoping to connect/rediscover the spiritual and emotional aspect of my being.
I am very anxious but excited. I'm pretty experienced with psychedelics as I have tripped probably around 500 times, but there is still this pervading fear. The fear is mostly centered on the thought of me going crazy and never coming back from a psychotic episode. My mom told me her friend's friend went to Peru and took ayahuasca, leaving him crazy for the rest of his life. I know there are many factors that come into play, but I cannot seem to get this thought out of the back of my mind - and my mom is worried for me! I keep trying to assure her to trust me and the medicine, but she is reluctant.
Any advice or good vibes sent my way before the journey are much appreciated!
-------------------- "a note for asses: what is very convincing, is not necessarily true - it is merely convincing" primus------------------------------------------------------------------------ -----------------------------------------------mama didn't raise no fool
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Old Pokey
Stranger and Stranger



Registered: 09/04/12
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Re: First Ayahuasca Ceremony [Re: unsui888]
#21826763 - 06/19/15 05:12 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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"Friend of a friend" anecdotes should never be considered as evidence for anything. That's how most urban legends and other tall tales begin...
A friend of a friend of mine saw an alien spacecraft...no kidding!
-------------------- It's all mythology...
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HarryL
Squnä'am



Registered: 11/16/10
Posts: 8,070
Loc: Washington State
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Re: First Ayahuasca Ceremony [Re: Old Pokey]
#21827108 - 06/19/15 08:09 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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People who are crazy before using psychedelics will be crazy after using psychedelics .... Now... They might not know they had mental issues before..... Everyone else is going to be fine.... There is strong evidence that psychedelics do not cause psychosis or other mental issues.
You will be fine.... Relax.... Enjoy... Grow and learned
Peace
-------------------- Mushroom hunting: One bad mushroom can ruin your day! Know it or throw it.
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zenoob
the sun is purple
Registered: 06/17/15
Posts: 25
Last seen: 8 years, 20 days
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Re: First Ayahuasca Ceremony [Re: HarryL]
#21827154 - 06/19/15 08:23 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Fear is healthy brother. Use the fear to approach the experience with as much respect as possible. Everything will be fine
-------------------- you are exactly as big as what you love, and exactly as small as that which you allow to annoy you
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unsui888
Embodied


Registered: 10/11/08
Posts: 1,154
Loc: United States
Last seen: 4 months, 2 hours
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Re: First Ayahuasca Ceremony [Re: zenoob]
#21828000 - 06/19/15 12:31 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Thank you guys! I just got about 8 hours of sleep, just took a nice big shit, and made myself a kale/berry/peach/hemp oil smoothie! I will probably eat a few slices of turkey and make another smoothie before leaving to the ceremonial grounds. Hopefully I take another shit before I leave too! I pray I do not shit myself during ceremony lol
-------------------- "a note for asses: what is very convincing, is not necessarily true - it is merely convincing" primus------------------------------------------------------------------------ -----------------------------------------------mama didn't raise no fool
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unsui888
Embodied


Registered: 10/11/08
Posts: 1,154
Loc: United States
Last seen: 4 months, 2 hours
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Re: First Ayahuasca Ceremony [Re: unsui888]
#21838416 - 06/21/15 06:47 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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That was quite interesting...
-------------------- "a note for asses: what is very convincing, is not necessarily true - it is merely convincing" primus------------------------------------------------------------------------ -----------------------------------------------mama didn't raise no fool
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TrippieHunter
Swagger of a cripple


Registered: 04/05/15
Posts: 889
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Re: First Ayahuasca Ceremony [Re: unsui888]
#21838570 - 06/21/15 07:20 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Come on brotha, trip report....
-------------------- Just remember keep the camera rolling and FILM THE POLICE!!! CLICK ME WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON? CLICK ME TOO! Let it go and you will trip into wonderland!
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unsui888
Embodied


Registered: 10/11/08
Posts: 1,154
Loc: United States
Last seen: 4 months, 2 hours
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Alright...
1st Night
We all sat around the yurt in a circle in our desired spaces. I brought a sleeping mat with a sleeping bag, some pillows, and my meditation set. I was wearing shorts and a white shirt, so I was pretty unprepared for the coldness that was about to come throughout the night. We each had an intention we were supposed to set before the ceremony. Mine was "self-forgiveness"... to forgive myself of the pain/suffering I caused my family and self due to my past heroin addiction and essentially rid myself of all guilt/shame I have harbored over the years.
I drank 3/4 a cup and within about 30 minutes I already started to notice some minor CEVs, which grew in intensity. They kind of reminded me of the smoked DMT experience (or even some of my 4-aco-MET/MXE experiences), but less defined. Eventually, within an hour after consuming the brew, I purged - I was the first one among the group of 20 people. I started to feel very drunk and wavy, especially when I went outside to walk.
After about 2 hours we were offered a 2nd cup, in which I went up to the shaman/facilitator and he asked grandmother Aya how much to give me, and filled up around a half cup. About another hour passed and eventually I purged again. Each time after I purged I felt relatively pretty sober, but felt that the medicine was working on some level. Overall, the 1st night was pretty underwhelming.
2nd Night
Before we went up to drink a cup of the brew, we had to kneel down in front of an altar in which there were 5 empty bowls and 1 bowl full of chocolate clumps, which was referred to as the "sweet medicine for your life". Each bowl represented a generation - grandparents, parents, ourselves, our kids or youth, and all generations after that. We had to say a prayer or blessing for each and put a piece of chocolate into each. After this, I went up to drink a full cup after the shaman blessed it.
It took a little longer for it to hit me this time, but around the hour mark I started to feel it and eventually felt very very ill. I got ready to purge, but it never came and instead I felt miserable for what seemed like eternity. I wanted to puke so bad, but it just wasn't happening. I was essentially experiencing all the pain/suffering I had caused others with my addiction. As I felt horrible, I started to have some very strange, interesting visuals in which there were alien insectoid machines with different tools creating some thing and working on my body with these things they were creating. It felt like a bunch of pins and needles pulsating through my hands - it was very uncomfortable. They were essentially repairing the damage I had done to my body over the years.
The miserableness was still persisting and it came to a point where I thought it would never end, and I asked/begged grandmother Aya to make it stop. After I pleaded with her, the horrible feelings went away and I was able to relax and lay down. It made me accept that the past was over and instilled forgiveness to move onward through life without feeling so negative about myself. I had never felt so blessed and grateful in my entire life.
At this point I was still having minor CEVs, but I was so turned off from the earlier horrible feelings that I never went back up for a 2nd cup. I kind of wish I had pushed myself to do so, but at the time I was thinking to myself, "This stuff is just not for me", and debated whether I would ever do it again.
Towards the end of the night they grabbed and combined all the bowls full of chocolate and poured a little bit of hot water into the bowl to melt it. The bowl of chocolate was passed around to each person and we each had to say what we were grateful for before taking a mouthful of the chocolate into our bodies. I was sooo delicious and gratifying! Afterwords, I was very tired and just layed down the rest of the night and must have fallen asleep as I woke up and the ceremony was over.
All in all, I had a very healing experience and it was fantastic to watch so many different people with a range of different issues they were working with to overcome their issues and be healed by this incredible plant. I have never been surrounded by so much love and gratitude before. I do not see myself doing this again very soon, but eventually I would like to do so and dive much deeper as I was pretty underwhelmed with the whole thing. I have a hard time breaking through on the smoked DMT experience, so I imagine I needed to drink at least a couple cups.
I am a huge skeptic, so it was a little different for me. It was hard for me to get into some of the prayers and overall vibe. There were water and feather blessings, prayers, songs, etc. that I very much appreciated, but I also wondered if they were even effective or necessary to experience what Aya truly has to offer...
-------------------- "a note for asses: what is very convincing, is not necessarily true - it is merely convincing" primus------------------------------------------------------------------------ -----------------------------------------------mama didn't raise no fool
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TrippieHunter
Swagger of a cripple


Registered: 04/05/15
Posts: 889
Loc: Your mums house!
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Re: First Ayahuasca Ceremony [Re: unsui888]
#21841414 - 06/22/15 11:45 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Very interesting, thanks for sharing. Now that it has been a couple days do you still feel like you got what you needed out of this experience?
-------------------- Just remember keep the camera rolling and FILM THE POLICE!!! CLICK ME WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON? CLICK ME TOO! Let it go and you will trip into wonderland!
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unsui888
Embodied


Registered: 10/11/08
Posts: 1,154
Loc: United States
Last seen: 4 months, 2 hours
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I did get some of what I was hoping to get out of it, and that is good enough for me!
I wanted to add that on the 1st night I found it extremely difficult to focus on my breath without my mind continuously wandering to random, often times stupid thoughts about irrelevant shit. I had to snap myself out of it quite a few times and I could only manage to focus for maybe 30seconds at a time...
-------------------- "a note for asses: what is very convincing, is not necessarily true - it is merely convincing" primus------------------------------------------------------------------------ -----------------------------------------------mama didn't raise no fool
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