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OfflineMental Taco
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Registered: 07/02/14
Posts: 2,290
Loc: Hell
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Can't Shit XD
    #21822561 - 06/18/15 07:19 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Trying real hard.

Drank two giant cups of coffee. Have been eating soooo much lately! Been eating lots of grapes, carrots, celery, and apples which i feel like should all help me shit, but its been like 3 days since i shit!!!! Think its this fucking kratom which dont make sence because i figure kratom should have fiber?

Im bloated :/ other than laxatives what are some good foods that help you guys take nice fullfilling dumps?

How do you get around kratom constipation?


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Did you not know that the royal hunting grounds are always forbidden?


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OfflineBeanhead
IS IRONIC PARADOX
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Registered: 10/11/08
Posts: 17,257
Loc: Geospatial inversion.
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: Mental Taco] * 1
    #21822563 - 06/18/15 07:20 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Put a finger up your ass
:naughty:
:awesomenod:


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Invisibleohmatic
searcher
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Registered: 02/28/04
Posts: 6,742
Loc: europe
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: Beanhead]
    #21822570 - 06/18/15 07:24 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

just get some laxatives and crap your brains out ?


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:penis: MONOTUB tek :sun: HEATBOMB tek :penis:

RIP #cultivation! ....can't associate? well FUCK U !


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InvisibleOhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita Flag
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: ohmatic]
    #21822593 - 06/18/15 07:36 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

When I have to crap it usually only takes like 10-20 seconds

I'm a master of swift hearty poops


--------------------

Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace..
Once and for all!


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OfflineBeanhead
IS IRONIC PARADOX
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Registered: 10/11/08
Posts: 17,257
Loc: Geospatial inversion.
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: OhMrJohnson]
    #21822599 - 06/18/15 07:38 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

OhMrJohnson said:
When I have to crap it usually only takes like 10-20 seconds

I'm a master of swift hearty poops




i'm faster then you

1min stall baws


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Offlinemusiclover420
psychonaut
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Registered: 11/06/12
Posts: 19,563
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: Mental Taco]
    #21822608 - 06/18/15 07:42 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I have experienced some kratom related constipation but nothing nearly that bad.

I would compare it to coffee myself :shrug:


--------------------
Don't worry about me, I've got all that I need. And I'm singing my song to the sky

You know how it feels, With the breeze of the sun in your eyes. Not minding that time's passing by

I've got all and more, My smile, just as before. Is all that I carry with me

I talk to myself, I need nobody else. I'm lost and I'm mine, yes I'm free



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InvisibleOhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita Flag
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: musiclover420]
    #21822615 - 06/18/15 07:47 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I just finished taking a massive dump

:borat:


--------------------

Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace..
Once and for all!


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OfflineCujllickduo
Male


Registered: 06/13/15
Posts: 19,552
Loc: England Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: Mental Taco]
    #21822622 - 06/18/15 07:50 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Cover your hand in your own sperm

then put your hand up your ass

and take it out manually

that should fix your problem

expert advice of been but hurt

:crazy2:


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InvisibleOhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita Flag
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: Cujllickduo]
    #21822627 - 06/18/15 07:52 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Ur making me horny


--------------------

Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace..
Once and for all!


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OfflineCujllickduo
Male


Registered: 06/13/15
Posts: 19,552
Loc: England Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: OhMrJohnson]
    #21822630 - 06/18/15 07:54 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

That was the trick it will winding your asshole out

or you could you poopers that should do the trick
then have fun


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OfflineMental Taco
Male User Gallery


Registered: 07/02/14
Posts: 2,290
Loc: Hell
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: Beanhead]
    #21822719 - 06/18/15 08:31 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Beanhead said:
Put a finger up your ass
:naughty:
:awesomenod:



Already tried it :/ just got a shitty finger....    :boobsmell: :imout:
Jealous of swift hearty dumps. I usually am pretty regular, but lately ive been eating loads of kratom to get thru the work day. Ordering some water soluble fiber supplements.


--------------------
Did you not know that the royal hunting grounds are always forbidden?


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OfflineBassfreak
ManBearPig
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Registered: 08/24/10
Posts: 18,014
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: Mental Taco]
    #21822729 - 06/18/15 08:33 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

get some coke


--------------------
Tom Brady is a God

Free Tom Brady


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Invisible1234go
Ban Lotto Champion
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Registered: 07/08/09
Posts: 53,867
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: Mental Taco]
    #21822747 - 06/18/15 08:37 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

6 pack o' tall boys...+ more coffee and lunges.


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OfflineAdolin
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 06/28/11
Posts: 8,292
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: 1234go]
    #21822754 - 06/18/15 08:40 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

drink more water. alot more.

2 giant cups of coffee will help move your bowels, but will also dehydrate you even more. if your shit is too dry and hard it just wont move.


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InvisibleFruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: Adolin]
    #21822786 - 06/18/15 08:53 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Get a mega super soker, pump it up like 100 times, insert into anus, FIRE!


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InvisiblePsychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII Flag
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: FruitOfLife]
    #21822880 - 06/18/15 09:34 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

2 options :

1 : Ram the handle (phallic) end of the plunger up your ass and ride with vigor.

Then poop.

If that didn't work, Repeat step one and immediately use the correct plunger side of the plunger to remove blockage.

Mine is usually a slice of picca.


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
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Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 6 hours, 28 minutes
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: Psychonautica] * 1
    #21822967 - 06/18/15 10:03 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Insert this in your anus. It should solve the problem



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InvisibleSrirachi
Mold Hand
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Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 11,411
Loc: Fare Thee Well.
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: Mental Taco]
    #21822982 - 06/18/15 10:08 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Tacos and beer, duh.


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Offlinestratocast
Has Been
Male


Registered: 04/11/15
Posts: 345
Loc: ohio, U.S.
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: Patlal]
    #21822984 - 06/18/15 10:09 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Prune juice. Or what Patlal said. That shit made me lol.


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Invisiblekr0nik0
Ole' Salty
Male User Gallery

Registered: 02/13/12
Posts: 17,756
Loc: Western Slope, CO Flag
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: Mental Taco]
    #21823069 - 06/18/15 10:35 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Just stay hydrated man. When I'm dosing Kratom I'll go through around 10, 16oz glasses of water a day.
I think that comes out to 20 cups a day.


--------------------

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”



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OfflineDrMambo
hamburger time
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Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 6,197
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Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: Mental Taco]
    #21823094 - 06/18/15 10:43 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Mental Taco said:
Trying real hard.

Drank two giant cups of coffee. Have been eating soooo much lately! Been eating lots of grapes, carrots, celery, and apples which i feel like should all help me shit, but its been like 3 days since i shit!!!! Think its this fucking kratom which dont make sence because i figure kratom should have fiber?

Im bloated :/ other than laxatives what are some good foods that help you guys take nice fullfilling dumps?

How do you get around kratom constipation?




I am quoting you because you need to heed what I'm about to say.

Take psyllium fiber such as metamucil or a generic store brand.

Make sure it's psyllium fiber, not chicory like benefibre. Chicory fiber is good for hearty farting, but it doesn't work the same way in the body.

The psyllium fiber gels up and and gives you soluble fiber, while the kratom is predominantly insoluble fiber. This helps you take normal dumps instead of the hard as a rock asshole ripping kratom shits.

I used to use a kind of crappy kratom vendor, and as a result my doses were wayyyyyyyy high in plant matter. Trust me, use metamucil.

Also soluble fiber like that is believed to possibly stimulate bile production and excretion, which should help keep cholesterol levels healthy
:themoreyouknow:


--------------------
"Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"


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InvisibleAstral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
Re: Can't Shit XD [Re: Mental Taco]
    #21823117 - 06/18/15 10:52 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Just learn from this incident(or lack of one) to stay hydrated from now on, but if you really want to cut to the chase go buy a fleet enema for a $1.50. Get it over with.


--------------------
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out"               
                -Bill Hicks-

__


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