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Anonymous #1
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I think I might be in an abusive relationship
#21821502 - 06/17/15 11:44 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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So I don't know if I'd call it this, but it feels like it sometimes. I'm a man, and my girlfriend has honestly hit me on numerous occasions. The reasons why have ranged from nothing, to just me wanting to leave because she was getting angry for no reason.
I don't know what to do, I don't want to break up with her, because I honestly love her. But the stress she causes me, and the pain becomes so unbearable. We got into a huge argument today because I passed out after working all day. And didn't go to her house. she didn't hit me this time, but she just shamed me, threatened me with wanting to leave, and just telling me I shouldn't have fallen asleep because I don't do anything ever...
I don't know if this is the right forum, but it's killing me guys. A few days ago was the most recent time she's hit me, and it was because I wanted her out of my room after she threatened to harm my parrots. I just wanted to stop the arguing, and she just slapped me across the face. I just want this to stop, but I don't want to lose her.
I'm not saying I'm perfect, and I have laid my hands on her one time, but I feel like I was justified. As she was pulling my hair and punching me, so I just grabbed her by the throat and was choking her to get her to stop, I just broke down and cried ad she hit me a few more times before crying aswell...
I've tried to break up with her, but I always just break down and want her back, becaus I honestly think I love her. Just any advice or comments or anything... Feel free to ask more questions aswell..
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Anonymous #1]
#21821528 - 06/17/15 11:50 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Dude you're in a toxic as fuck relationship. She should never hit you and you should never hit her. Brake it off before one of you gets a domestic abuse charge and goes to jail. My buddy's girlfriend got that charge because someone called the cops when they heard them fighting and saw a mark on my friends face. So they cuffed her and charged her big time
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
#21821539 - 06/17/15 11:52 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Damn dude. I feel for you.
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Black_Sunset
Amateur Anesthesiologist


Registered: 11/16/08
Posts: 2,451
Loc: Somewhere California
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Crystal G]
#21821595 - 06/18/15 12:07 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Wow man. Try calling one of your local abuse help lines. They might be able to help you resolve it yourself
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mindbodysoul
the fertile


Registered: 03/10/14
Posts: 912
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Black_Sunset]
#21822075 - 06/18/15 02:19 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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leave her... don't be weak.
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Thaj
:-)

Registered: 04/30/15
Posts: 142
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: mindbodysoul]
#21822237 - 06/18/15 03:50 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I would leave her if it was happening to me but it is your life and you create your reality.
-------------------- There is no real sin but lessons yet to be learned. ----------------------------------------------------
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basqueshaman
Todays scapegoat



Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 6,258
Loc: Washington State
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Crystal G]
#21825594 - 06/18/15 09:15 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. No one should lay hands on one another unless it's to make them feel good. Sounds like a a terrible situation. Sometimes regardless of how much you love someone you have to walk away.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: basqueshaman]
#21826023 - 06/18/15 10:58 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I know I should walk away, but I just wanna work through this. She says she's gonna try not to ever do that again. She's really important to me, and I just don't wanna give up on her.
She was there for me when I was going through a depressive psychosis, and she helped ease me out of it. She has some anger issues occasionally, and she wants to work on it. I really do love her, and I don't want to just give up on her, because she didn't give up on me.
I'm trying to get her to go to an anger management thing, She's starting to consider it. I know it's probably stupid for me to stay, but I want to at least try.
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Anonymous #1]
#21826103 - 06/18/15 11:15 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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That's cool dude. No one on earth can blame you for trying your hardest to save something you love. Just don't let it destroy you in the process you know
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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basqueshaman
Todays scapegoat



Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 6,258
Loc: Washington State
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Anonymous #1]
#21826126 - 06/18/15 11:20 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: I know I should walk away, but I just wanna work through this. She says she's gonna try not to ever do that again. She's really important to me, and I just don't wanna give up on her.
She was there for me when I was going through a depressive psychosis, and she helped ease me out of it. She has some anger issues occasionally, and she wants to work on it. I really do love her, and I don't want to just give up on her, because she didn't give up on me.
I'm trying to get her to go to an anger management thing, She's starting to consider it. I know it's probably stupid for me to stay, but I want to at least try.
Well then I can only offer this advice, take her as she is and simply deal with it, if you want her you can't change it. So don't complain about getting hit because you know it's going to happen again and since you haven't done anything to remove your self from harms way knowing full well that was what's going to happen it's your fault you get hit. Maybe tell yourself you like it and one day maybe you will. Gotta take the good with the bad
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Anonymous #1
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
#21826269 - 06/19/15 12:13 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said: That's cool dude. No one on earth can blame you for trying your hardest to save something you love. Just don't let it destroy you in the process you know
Thanks so much for the kind words.
And it wasn't a thing in our relationship until a few months ago. She had some difficulties in her life with her dad going to jail, and since then she's just been a bit more volatile at times because she blames herself. I know it doesn't justify it in any sort of way, but I'm just saying it's not coming out of the blue.
She wants to try and get over these anger issues, as sometimes she'll even have "anger blackouts". I'm trying to work with her. And she has agreed to try and talk to a therapist for at least a few times.
Just thank you guys for listening. I'll try and keep it updated if there is any progress or change. The shroomery is so cool, I love you guys.
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Anonymous #1]
#21826283 - 06/19/15 12:17 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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If I can give back 1% of what this community has shown me I'll feel lucky. Take care dude
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
#21827663 - 06/19/15 10:58 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Honestly, Op...This sounds like battered spouse syndrome....making excuses for her and such. It needs to stop...If drinking or drugs fuels this...then that needs to stop too. I've seen too many people go to jail for this....If untreated, it ALWAYS ends up bad.
Get counseling immediately (both of you)....If she refuses...get the fuck away from her.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Hinny
The Missing Genre Link.


Registered: 01/23/10
Posts: 662
Loc:
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Thayendanegea]
#21829128 - 06/19/15 05:48 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Finish her.
-------------------- 'Escapism is the Best Form of Reality'
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ballsalsa
Universally Loathed and Reviled



Registered: 03/11/15
Posts: 20,863
Loc: Foreign Lands
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Anonymous #1]
#21829180 - 06/19/15 06:05 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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that sucks OP. major bummer. You can't let her beat on you bro, and you certainly can't beat on her. Honestly, it sounds like you have some tough decisions to make. If you decide to stick it out, my advice would be to remove yourself when she starts to rage. Just leave and call her up later. Explain why. If she has any common sense, she'll understand. It might even get her to snap out of it. like a cue. like when you train animals to do tricks for movies. Anyway, my most honest advice is to peace out for real if the hitting doesn't stop. Like some people already mentioned, folks end up in jail for that shit. Belittling you is just as bad as hitting you IMO. She's trying to fuck with your head so you'll have low self esteem and you'll think that you have to stay. Abusive dudes use this trick on ladies all the time. Rise above it OP. kick that bitch to the curb. You can find a better one.
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Like cannabis topics? Read my cannabis blog here
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Anonymous #1]
#21829515 - 06/19/15 07:08 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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yeah dump her, she's a dumb retard. who te fuck wants to hurt parrots? dumb retards, that's who.
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#21829549 - 06/19/15 07:19 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Yes. You are in an abusive relationship. As far as I know you might like it
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BobaJones
Good Trip Gurpgork


Registered: 03/01/15
Posts: 149
Loc: Far out, man
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: zappaisgod] 1
#21838798 - 06/21/15 07:54 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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If anyone ever threatened my pets we would be done. Right there.
#byefelicia
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Woah
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empty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: BobaJones]
#21839142 - 06/21/15 08:43 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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yeah dude fuck that noise. theres no excuse for that kind of thing. you think you love her? ok. have fun with your fucked up life.
theres literally soooooo many women out there. you dont deserve this shit man. end of story.
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Edited by empty space (06/21/15 08:45 PM)
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nuds



Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 578
Loc: Australia, NSW
Last seen: 5 months, 30 days
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Sheekle]
#21839338 - 06/21/15 09:16 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I'm sorry dude but shit this thread made me laugh.
Quote:
Sheekle said: yeah dump her, she's a dumb retard. who te fuck wants to hurt parrots? dumb retards, that's who.
QFT
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basqueshaman
Todays scapegoat



Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 6,258
Loc: Washington State
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: BobaJones]
#21839373 - 06/21/15 09:23 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
BobaJones said: If anyone ever threatened my pets we would be done. Right there.
#byefelicia
OP if you want to keep that girl atleast do the right thing and find the parrots a safe home. I volunteer to help with that, and when shit doesn't work out I'll give you them back
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: nuds]
#21839492 - 06/21/15 09:49 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
nuds said: I'm sorry dude but shit this thread made me laugh.
Quote:
Sheekle said: yeah dump her, she's a dumb retard. who te fuck wants to hurt parrots? dumb retards, that's who.
QFT 
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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Nobodyuknow
Stranger


Registered: 07/01/15
Posts: 25
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
#21886791 - 07/02/15 08:29 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Once the hitting starts its not likely to stop, ever. It shows a lack of self control. I hope you can find strength to get through this but mostly be smart enough to recognize abuse and the fact that no one deserves it.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Nobodyuknow]
#21887965 - 07/02/15 01:34 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Okay guys, so she's went to therapy once now, and planning on going weekly for a while. She's been controlling her anger, and I honestly hope this never happens again.
I know it might not be the smartest thing to stay with her, but we're trying to work out any issues. It's been going quite smoothly so far, and I hope that we can keep it going like this.
Thank you guys for the advice, and just listening man. I love you guys. Sorry I decided to stay anonymous.
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Anonymous #1]
#21887978 - 07/02/15 01:38 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Hope everything works out for you two. Just don't let the abuse cycle continue itself dude
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
#21889095 - 07/02/15 05:11 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Run away fast OP
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Anonymous #2
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Patlal]
#21889557 - 07/02/15 07:04 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Get out. You think you love this girl but you will be torn apart the further this goes on. She does not care about you. She definitely does not respect you.
Guess what will happen further down the road? Take it from someone who has experienced this sort of shit. Your walking the plank man. Do not be stubborn. Listen to everything, everyone, and the entire reason as to why you made this post.
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trekie
Metal man


Registered: 05/11/09
Posts: 11,085
Loc: Larger cities
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Anonymous #2] 1
#21890861 - 07/03/15 12:08 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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1 take out life insurance on your self. 2 sleep with her family/ close friend. Make her super angery . 3? ? ? ? ? 4 profit.
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SunnyD
WiZarD oF LoVe



Registered: 04/29/13
Posts: 25,236
Loc: Planet earth
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: empty space]
#21891245 - 07/03/15 03:16 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
empty space said: yeah dude fuck that noise. theres no excuse for that kind of thing. you think you love her? ok. have fun with your fucked up life.
theres literally soooooo many women out there. you dont deserve this shit man. end of story.
reminds me of my ol friends relationship they fight all the time and physically hit each other sometimes
there both simpletons before they even met so i had to leave all that noise
it took me so long even though he was only my friend
But that relationship is very unhealthy sounding
sounds like your being dragged down and hard
--------------------
        And to everyone who thinks life is just a game, Do you like the part you are playing? This is the time in life I am living! And I face each day with a smile My music Library of Synthesizer goodness
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drege
This space for lease

Registered: 11/04/14
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: SunnyD]
#21942122 - 07/14/15 01:48 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Yea, I haven't even read any of the other responses, just your opening post, you need to nix her from your life, if you have any self preservation at all, I've been with a woman similar to this for 3 years now and been off and on trying to leave her for a year now, I know its hard to believe but females can be the aggressor in relationships too. Just as an offhand thought, is her violence by any chance come like clockwork every month the week before she bleeds? Mine does, its called PDD or something, a form of violent hormonal imbalance PMS. Just leave her and get it over with, you will hurt for a while, you will want to go back to her but you need to cut this out like a cancer, it will seriously fuck you up, I used to be such a happy person, mine has completely sapped every iota of positivity and happiness from my soul.
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https://discord.gg/hqdy5ymn
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Anonymous #3
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Anonymous #1]
#21942180 - 07/14/15 02:08 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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"I know why you beat on that dog" I said to an American Indian girl "Because if it isn't the dog it's someone else." To which her step-daughter agreed. "Why you little bitch!" she said advancing on the juvenile.
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Anonymous #4
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Anonymous #3]
#21942345 - 07/14/15 02:48 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Wow OP. Please come back when your testicles have dropped and you've kicked the bitch to the curb.
You "think" you're in an abusive relationship? What was your first clue? Was it when she totally stripped you of all your dignity?
You know exactly what you should do
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Anonymous #5
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Anonymous #4] 1
#21942808 - 07/14/15 04:42 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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when i read threaten to harm parrots.. i instantly thought shes psycho and ur psycho for with her
u deserve what u get but let the parrots live
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: I think I might be in an abusive relationship [Re: Anonymous #5]
#21942837 - 07/14/15 04:48 PM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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lol
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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