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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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I wish I was never in recovery.
#21820552 - 06/17/15 07:57 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I wish I never knew what treatment was or rehab. I wish I wasn't apart of this community. It's full of pain and sorrow. People I grow close with starting using again. They end up jail or worse. They end up dead from overdose. I've lost two people these past two weeks and it just makes reconsider if I made the right of going through this program of recovery and I know I'm going to lose more. I don't want that to BE ME you understand? But at the same time i'm hurting because of the people that's no longer with us anymore.
I can't describe it. In rehab we developed a bond stronger than any brotherhood. Even though we left each other and went our own separate ways. We developed an everlasting friendship that we would never forget. I just want to make this thread and have everyone join me for a moment of silence of those who didn't make it today.. BE GRATEFUL! There is alot of mother fuckers out there right now about to die or who has died and would give anything to see tomorrow.
#ToTheFallen
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
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Re: I wish I was never in recovery. [Re: JustForToday]
#21820559 - 06/17/15 07:58 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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jail institutions and death.
you go to AA people die all the time. people will die on here too
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
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Re: I wish I was never in recovery. [Re: JustForToday]
#21820567 - 06/17/15 07:59 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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ha... too bad you opted out of ratings. who gives a fuck if people dont like you.
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FreeTheSoul
The wonderer.
Registered: 01/04/14
Posts: 2,297
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: I wish I was never in recovery. [Re: sprinkles]
#21820591 - 06/17/15 08:04 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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You cant have extreme pleasure in life without a bit of payne. I sometimes question my past actions and I know they say not to regret but for certain aspects of my life i sit there at times and contemplate well If I didnt make that one decision imagine how different my life would be. But then I realize thinking about shit like that does absolutely nothing so I try to think of ways to get on a legal hustle. Damn I gotta get a job again so I can start saving for the future, and the type of work I want to get into.
Its alright to be down about downing things but don't let it take you to deep. Harder said then done in certain situations though.
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TNK
Pleasures of Africa



Registered: 01/30/10
Posts: 14,237
Loc: I AM THUNDERBOT
Last seen: 1 month, 18 days
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Re: I wish I was never in recovery. [Re: JustForToday]
#21820640 - 06/17/15 08:16 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I know the feeling OP; I didn't have friends die left and right until several trips through rehab and consequentially sobriety. I would spend months, living, learning, growing with someone. Then BAM everything changes over night and they're gone because they just accidentally did too much. Shit happens every day.
-------------------- Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: I wish I was never in recovery. [Re: TNK]
#21820657 - 06/17/15 08:18 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
I wish I never knew what treatment was or rehab
I don't think you really mean this. It saved your life and got you back on track right? That in itself makes rehab worth it
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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TNK
Pleasures of Africa



Registered: 01/30/10
Posts: 14,237
Loc: I AM THUNDERBOT
Last seen: 1 month, 18 days
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Quote:
Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Quote:
I wish I never knew what treatment was or rehab
I don't think you really mean this. It saved your life and got you back on track right? That in itself makes rehab worth it
 You CAN find sobriety and recovery without a rehab, people do it all the time. But chances are if they ended up in a rehab they NEEDED it.
-------------------- Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)
Edited by TNK (06/17/15 08:20 PM)
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Almond Flour
...get off my lawn!



Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: I wish I was never in recovery. [Re: JustForToday]
#21820670 - 06/17/15 08:21 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Im sorry for your pain brother Im not an addict or alcoholic myself but I had both my parents in the "Program" and it can be sad. One of my fathers good friends who was in the program ended up relapsing, and flipped his car and died as the result. I can only imagine how hard it is for you guys. They have allot of demons, but I have nothing but respect for AA, NA and those who go through the program and the demons they struggle with.
One day at a time I suppose
-------------------- Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church"
Edited by Almond Flour (06/17/15 08:22 PM)
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ReposadoXochipilli
Here, there, inbetween



Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 7,501
Loc: Sand and sunshine
Last seen: 19 days, 21 hours
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Re: I wish I was never in recovery. [Re: Almond Flour]
#21820693 - 06/17/15 08:27 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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we all make our own choices, do you think when someone has given up on this life they are wrong? perhaps they are freeing themselves of the bondage of this life.
i know i have a hard time taking it seriously. even more so when people are bouncing in and out of rehab? how hard is it to want to live?
--------------------
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Almond Flour
...get off my lawn!



Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Quote:
ReposadoXochipilli said: we all make our own choices, do you think when someone has given up on this life they are wrong? perhaps they are freeing themselves of the bondage of this life.
i know i have a hard time taking it seriously. even more so when people are bouncing in and out of rehab? how hard is it to want to live?
I dont know man, after all the shit I have been through I totally understand why some folks would turn to the bottle or otherwise. I have sympathy for them and the demons that come with such a state. These people are lost in a mental fog, or chemical hell. They can not tell up or down, black or white, all they know is that _______frees them for a few seconds and therefore they engage in their poison of choice. I trust God will have mercy on such folks, but we all should be striving for freedom from any sort of such bondage. I may not be an addict, but even I enjoy a few beers or some tobacco to escape the hell I sometimes find myself in.
-------------------- Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church"
Edited by Almond Flour (06/17/15 08:30 PM)
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ReposadoXochipilli
Here, there, inbetween



Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 7,501
Loc: Sand and sunshine
Last seen: 19 days, 21 hours
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Re: I wish I was never in recovery. [Re: Almond Flour]
#21820834 - 06/17/15 08:56 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Almond Flour said:
Quote:
ReposadoXochipilli said: we all make our own choices, do you think when someone has given up on this life they are wrong? perhaps they are freeing themselves of the bondage of this life.
i know i have a hard time taking it seriously. even more so when people are bouncing in and out of rehab? how hard is it to want to live?
I dont know man, after all the shit I have been through I totally understand why some folks would turn to the bottle or otherwise. I have sympathy for them and the demons that come with such a state. These people are lost in a mental fog, or chemical hell. They can not tell up or down, black or white, all they know is that _______frees them for a few seconds and therefore they engage in their poison of choice. I trust God will have mercy on such folks, but we all should be striving for freedom from any sort of such bondage. I may not be an addict, but even I enjoy a few beers or some tobacco to escape the hell I sometimes find myself in.
i know the issues, and have lost loved ones as well, i just don't think there is anything wrong with it, we all live for those moments where it doesn't hurt.
hugs man, that empathy comes across as very valid.
--------------------
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Detached
You know where...


Registered: 02/27/15
Posts: 2,942
Last seen: 10 months, 15 days
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Recovery is never a easy process for anyone. I'm really sorry for your losses.
Keep your chin up while getting through the trying times. It helps to surround yourself with people that care.
Good vibes to ya man
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