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fuzzysig
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what are socially accepted duties of a spouse?
#21820239 - 06/17/15 06:46 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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so long story short my wife grew up somewhat in a closet mostly watching soap operas where guys are pictured as dumb atm machines that come home and give money, and do everything while wife makes smartass remarks and waive her hand when she needs something done. I thought that shit was not a serious threat until I realized that its been 7 years and its not gonna change anytime soon.
I ask her what a man supposed to do in a relationship... have a good job make money, somehow manage to spend time with a kid, while attending a bbq or birthday or other weekend long party with her and her family( I don't have any family here) maintain all her cars( or pay for the repair at the dealerships for her. maintain the house the yard and everything else. also cook for myself and her and take care of the kid and pay for his daycare while also having money to buy her expensive shit that she will never wear... buy her everything for the house onlywhat she wants. my opinion doesn't matter even if I pay for it... because apparently men are not good at arranging the interior of a house... because were all barbaric and cheaters and liars etc
when I ask her what is she supposed to do for me she falls silent every time. so far I haven't got an answer not even a short one.. she assumes that just being there and having sex is all she has to do... is that a normal female mentality or did I manage to find a defective one lol
on a sidenote. I saw our future in an older couple that worked next door. the girl was in complete control of her dude and he looked miserable as shit. while she was above clouds all the time because she got everything her way all the time. she trained a beast the way she wanted it. and it was a sad picture...
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TheGreenArrow
Goodbye, Mr. Chops.


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Re: what are socially accepted duties of a spouse? [Re: fuzzysig] 1
#21820465 - 06/17/15 07:41 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Married life may not be for you two. Love is a two way road my friend.
-------------------- A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs
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Detached
You know where...


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Re: what are socially accepted duties of a spouse? [Re: fuzzysig]
#21820878 - 06/17/15 09:04 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
fuzzysig said: on a sidenote. I saw our future in an older couple that worked next door. the girl was in complete control of her dude and he looked miserable as shit. while she was above clouds all the time because she got everything her way all the time. she trained a beast the way she wanted it. and it was a sad picture...
It doesn't sound like you are very happy at all in this relationship and you already know where it is heading. Maybe you need to really reevaluate what your intention are.
Every successful relationship is 50/50%. If you both are working, you both need to contribute to the household equally with responsibilities and errands.
I'm kind of old fashion though - I expect the guy to work 50 hours a week while the woman stays at home to maintain the house and the kids.
I prefer being single.
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Lived_1978-2043
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Re: what are socially accepted duties of a spouse? [Re: fuzzysig]
#21822145 - 06/18/15 02:51 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Half and half on em.
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

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Re: what are socially accepted duties of a spouse? [Re: Lived_1978-2043]
#21823482 - 06/18/15 12:51 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Now how did you come to marry that woman? You found that out after seven years?
You're kidding.
I'd suspect, you can't fix that kinda shit if you did not work on it from the very first day on.
You better provide a damn good explanation for that mess.
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36fuckin5
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Re: what are socially accepted duties of a spouse? [Re: Murzelpfrumpft] 2
#21823572 - 06/18/15 01:13 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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You got a lazy ho. Dump her.
-------------------- Redd Foxx said: If you're offended I don't give a shit and don't come see me no more. Pat The Bunny said: A punk rock song won't ever change the world, but I can tell you about a couple that changed me. bodhisatta said: i recommend common sense and figuring it out. These are the TEKs I use. They're all as cheap and easy as possible, just like your mom.
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fuzzysig
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Re: what are socially accepted duties of a spouse? [Re: 36fuckin5]
#21824226 - 06/18/15 03:52 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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just like many at first it was cute. I didn't think it would be a bi issue later on but it is.when it constantly happends and we have same argument. and me trying every single possible way to talk to her when she wont even hear anything.
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

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Re: what are socially accepted duties of a spouse? [Re: fuzzysig] 1
#21824329 - 06/18/15 04:13 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Well, to answer your question if this is normal, it certainly isn't. It's parasitic, sexist and ignorant. However I'm afraid that there are quite a few women behaving that way, it's made possible by patriarchy. Some men don't want their wives do take responsibility for anything. Some even talk for their wives.
My girlfriend has this habit of always closely watching my reaction/checking my face when she tells a story to someone. Like she's trying to check whether she does it right. That's uncool but we can talk about it.
And obviously it's too late for talking for the two of you. I don't think you will change her mind. I can't understand how you could ever find that cute, my alarm bells ring right away.
To be honest, I'd dump her as fast as possible.
But you should do some introspection and seriously ask yourself how so much time could pass without you ever noticing her ridiculous attitude. Is it because you work far too much?
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TheGreenArrow
Goodbye, Mr. Chops.


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Re: what are socially accepted duties of a spouse? [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
#21824692 - 06/18/15 05:39 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I agree with this dude.
-------------------- A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs
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fuzzysig
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Re: what are socially accepted duties of a spouse? [Re: TheGreenArrow]
#21837946 - 06/21/15 05:01 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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its actually the opposite. I liked here because I thought she was independent. I thought I could rely on her sometimes just like she can rely on me for certain things. but she is constantly trying to be in charge of everything. but wants others to do everything for her while she walks around like a boss and point fingers at what needs to be done. I mean that's her natural state. I knew she was bossy but I didn't know she was also stubborn and she literally has a sixth sense for change. she naturally avoids anything that might give her a new insight on things... she doesn't understand why I watch science or educational videos or documentaries or read so much about psychology and any kind of science in general. to her anything I do that is not in her favor is a waste of time. and I mean she has no respect for any of my hobbies, except when they prove useful in fixing her sht.. then she magically forgets about it and doesn't want to bring it up in a conversation. she just plainly changes any topic when I put her in a corner and she has to answer a question. she will just confuse the situation and avoid it at any cost no matter how stupid the excuse is....
were pretty much done at this point I was just wondering if its a typical female behavior or there are some females that are more mentally stable and human like lol
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fuzzysig
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Re: what are socially accepted duties of a spouse? [Re: fuzzysig]
#21837952 - 06/21/15 05:04 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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so much time passed because she keeps flipping. she will be ok for some time then flip suddenly and keeps taking me on a rollercoaster. I kept hoping that it could be worked out. didn't give up hope. and we have a kid tht we both love.. makes a bit harder to just separate. especially when she thinks she has the rights to full custody of our kid...(watches too many movies again)
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

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Re: what are socially accepted duties of a spouse? [Re: fuzzysig]
#21838140 - 06/21/15 05:44 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I can assure you, that there are women who are aware of gender roles and resist the urge to go into all-stupid-housewife-mode.
It's been 8 years with my girlfriend now and she engages in my hobbies, she even started studying a major interest of mine at the university, because she's apparently interested in what I do.
However, we do have a somewhat conservative, classic division of work, I mostly do the repairs and she does most of the cooking and cleaning when we're together. But it's known to us and we will start a discussion of one of us feels like he's left behind.
I never dared to move in with her or to have a kid, in fear that it might change for the worse. We might never do that, both of it.
I feel your pain and I'm sorry, especially for your kid. But you seem to deserve better and I'm pretty sure it won't take you long to see that's true.
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FlusH
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Re: what are socially accepted duties of a spouse? [Re: fuzzysig]
#21841664 - 06/22/15 01:22 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
fuzzysig said: just like many at first it was cute. I didn't think it would be a bi issue later on but it is.when it constantly happends and we have same argument. and me trying every single possible way to talk to her when she wont even hear anything.
Isnt the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different result but continually getting the same result?
I know the internet is not the best place for relationship advice, but this sounds like you would be happier as an individual.
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WAN
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Re: what are socially accepted duties of a spouse? [Re: Detached]
#21842555 - 06/22/15 05:54 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Detached said: I'm kind of old fashion though - I expect the guy to work 50 hours a week while the woman stays at home to maintain the house and the kids.
No, you are not being old-fashioned at all, just wise.
The division that you just mentioned is my ideal, too.
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fuzzysig
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Re: what are socially accepted duties of a spouse? [Re: WAN]
#21842877 - 06/22/15 07:11 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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well see problem with some women they hear about equal rights and theres no logical explanation how they come to the conclusion that. the man supposed to do all the work and she gets half of his shit lol.
equal rights means equal responsibilities. ive seen many females at work cry about not getting paid same as males then they cry because the job is too hard and when asked to do same job as men do they say" but im a girl I cant do it" lol its just funny to me how double standar(ded???)lol some people are.
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