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OfflineCouperj
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/05/11
Posts: 611
Loc: Umerika
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: akira_akuma]
    #21817425 - 06/17/15 12:59 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

If I forget to shut the door while I'm taking a leak sometimes she comes in and tries to poke the stream.

I keep envisioning the stream hitting her finger and urine immediately splashing everywhere! Being a bit of a clean freak, this obviously startles me, not to mention, stresses me the fuck out in a moment that should be utterly relaxing. 

Wow, that came out of nowhere.


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(¯`'·.¸(♥)¸.·'´¯) But suddenly you're ripped into being alive. And life is pain, and life is suffering, and life is horror, but my god you are alive and it is spectacular!


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OfflineCouperj
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/05/11
Posts: 611
Loc: Umerika
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: Couperj]
    #21817428 - 06/17/15 01:00 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Oh, that makes so much sense.


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(¯`'·.¸(♥)¸.·'´¯) But suddenly you're ripped into being alive. And life is pain, and life is suffering, and life is horror, but my god you are alive and it is spectacular!


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OfflineBitter Cactus
reformed bad boy
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: Couperj]
    #21817430 - 06/17/15 01:01 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Couperj said:
If I forget to shut the door while I'm taking a leak sometimes she comes in and tries to poke the stream.

I keep envisioning the stream hitting her finger and urine immediately splashing everywhere! Being a bit of a clean freak, this obviously startles me, not to mention, stresses me the fuck out in a moment that should be utterly relaxing. 

Wow, that came out of nowhere.




:smileandnod:


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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Offlineakira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ

Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: kr0nik0]
    #21817435 - 06/17/15 01:02 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

kr0nik0 said:
My farts are innocent compared to the death that was released from my ex girl's butthole.

That silent but deadly theory is true man. After living together for a couple years it just became funny but before then she would stink up the room and go "eww, do you smell that? Chase (our dog) must of farted again." lol

You know what else I learned? Girls' farts are usually so quiet because they wear thong underwear. The string going down the middle of the asshole acts as some sort of sound diffuser. Almost like a silencer on a gun.



:lol: that must be it. or they're farts that are literally just that small. but they are deadly. no wonder they're so shy. what's up with girls farts?

:rofl2:


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OfflineBitter Cactus
reformed bad boy
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: akira_akuma]
    #21817442 - 06/17/15 01:04 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

My kratom farts and shits stink so bad and if I leave the door open after I shit I kid you not the smell permeates the entire house and we have to light matches to control the stank.

Febreeze is your friends boys.


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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Invisiblekr0nik0
Ole' Salty
Male User Gallery

Registered: 02/13/12
Posts: 17,756
Loc: Western Slope, CO Flag
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: akira_akuma]
    #21817445 - 06/17/15 01:05 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

There is scientific research online about the thong, fart diffusing theory.
Google that shit, you won't be disappointed. :lol:


--------------------

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”



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Invisiblekr0nik0
Ole' Salty
Male User Gallery

Registered: 02/13/12
Posts: 17,756
Loc: Western Slope, CO Flag
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: Bitter Cactus]
    #21817457 - 06/17/15 01:09 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Fabreeze just masks that shit (pun intended). Also most of those really strong scented sprays and liquids mess with my allergies.

I been using a hospital grade odor neutralizer at home recently. I'm not even joking.

The spray doesn't have any smell, it just does its job which is to get rid of funky smells.


--------------------

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”



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Offlineakira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ

Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: kr0nik0]
    #21817459 - 06/17/15 01:09 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

i just googled "thong, fart diffusing theory" and i was very confused.


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Offlineakira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ

Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: Bitter Cactus]
    #21817460 - 06/17/15 01:10 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Bitter Cactus said:
My kratom farts and shits stink so bad and if I leave the door open after I shit I kid you not the smell permeates the entire house and we have to light matches to control the stank.

Febreeze is your friends boys.



your colon is fucked.


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OfflineCHeifM4sterDiezL
Chief Globerts


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 22,541
Loc: United States Flag
Last seen: 11 minutes, 52 seconds
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: Almond Flour]
    #21817465 - 06/17/15 01:11 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Awesome thread almonds :facepalm:


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Offlineakira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ

Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: CHeifM4sterDiezL]
    #21817470 - 06/17/15 01:14 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

isn't it just the greatest.


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Invisiblekr0nik0
Ole' Salty
Male User Gallery

Registered: 02/13/12
Posts: 17,756
Loc: Western Slope, CO Flag
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: akira_akuma]
    #21817479 - 06/17/15 01:17 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Haha! I didn't mean google it using those exact words. Just search for something along the lines of "do thongs cause silent farts."

:vapd:


--------------------

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”



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InvisibleAmanita86
OTD Keymaster
 User Gallery

Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: akira_akuma]
    #21817481 - 06/17/15 01:18 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I think it should be stickied personally.


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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Offlineakira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ

Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: Amanita86]
    #21817486 - 06/17/15 01:23 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

so it's just spaced so there no flap and then there's no fart sound! that's ingenious!

the more unexpected... the deadlier....


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Invisiblekr0nik0
Ole' Salty
Male User Gallery

Registered: 02/13/12
Posts: 17,756
Loc: Western Slope, CO Flag
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: akira_akuma] * 1
    #21817492 - 06/17/15 01:25 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Indeed, sir. You got it now.  :publicfart:


--------------------

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”



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Offlineakira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ

Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: kr0nik0]
    #21817502 - 06/17/15 01:32 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

dem wimmens. :archiebunker:


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InvisibleballsalsaMDiscord
Universally Loathed and Reviled
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/11/15
Posts: 20,855
Loc: Foreign Lands
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: akira_akuma]
    #21817513 - 06/17/15 01:43 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

i once dated a girl for a few months that pretty much never farted...until she fell asleep.  Once her eyes closed, all bets were off.  You could roast a turkey under those sheets.  kinda made it awkward being the big spoon.
:singletear:


--------------------


Like cannabis topics? Read my cannabis blog here


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OfflineSunnyD
WiZarD oF LoVe
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/29/13
Posts: 25,236
Loc: Planet earth
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: kr0nik0]
    #21817606 - 06/17/15 03:07 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Ok men

lets chug beer and scratch our balls and talk about how hard we banged our girlfriends
in the back of our ford raptors painted as the american flag while chugging more beer
:wink:

tottal jk tho

this thread is alittle pointless cause 90% of this site is ball bearers


--------------------
:sunny::inlove::peyotespectrum::peyotespectrum::inlove::sunny:
And to everyone who thinks life is just a game,
Do you like the part you are playing?
This is the time in life I am living!
And I face each day with a smile :smile:
My music Library of Synthesizer goodness


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InvisibleAdden
I'm a teapot
Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc: Flag
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: Bitter Cactus]
    #21817616 - 06/17/15 03:13 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Bitter Cactus said:
Us men need a thread where we can fart and burp all we want without worrying about what the ladies think.




We men need*


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OfflineTurtletotem
Dutch Delight
 User Gallery


Registered: 09/02/13
Posts: 3,763
Last seen: 4 years, 11 months
Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: Adden]
    #21817712 - 06/17/15 04:13 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I said it before and I'll say it again: AF = the Bullshit Man.


--------------------


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