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Couperj



Registered: 06/05/11
Posts: 611
Loc: Umerika
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: akira_akuma]
#21817425 - 06/17/15 12:59 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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If I forget to shut the door while I'm taking a leak sometimes she comes in and tries to poke the stream.
I keep envisioning the stream hitting her finger and urine immediately splashing everywhere! Being a bit of a clean freak, this obviously startles me, not to mention, stresses me the fuck out in a moment that should be utterly relaxing.
Wow, that came out of nowhere.
-------------------- (¯`'·.¸(♥)¸.·'´¯) But suddenly you're ripped into being alive. And life is pain, and life is suffering, and life is horror, but my god you are alive and it is spectacular!
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Couperj



Registered: 06/05/11
Posts: 611
Loc: Umerika
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: Couperj]
#21817428 - 06/17/15 01:00 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Oh, that makes so much sense.
-------------------- (¯`'·.¸(♥)¸.·'´¯) But suddenly you're ripped into being alive. And life is pain, and life is suffering, and life is horror, but my god you are alive and it is spectacular!
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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy


Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: Couperj]
#21817430 - 06/17/15 01:01 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Couperj said: If I forget to shut the door while I'm taking a leak sometimes she comes in and tries to poke the stream.
I keep envisioning the stream hitting her finger and urine immediately splashing everywhere! Being a bit of a clean freak, this obviously startles me, not to mention, stresses me the fuck out in a moment that should be utterly relaxing.
Wow, that came out of nowhere.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ

Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: kr0nik0]
#21817435 - 06/17/15 01:02 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
kr0nik0 said: My farts are innocent compared to the death that was released from my ex girl's butthole.
That silent but deadly theory is true man. After living together for a couple years it just became funny but before then she would stink up the room and go "eww, do you smell that? Chase (our dog) must of farted again." lol
You know what else I learned? Girls' farts are usually so quiet because they wear thong underwear. The string going down the middle of the asshole acts as some sort of sound diffuser. Almost like a silencer on a gun.
that must be it. or they're farts that are literally just that small. but they are deadly. no wonder they're so shy. what's up with girls farts?
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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy


Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: akira_akuma]
#21817442 - 06/17/15 01:04 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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My kratom farts and shits stink so bad and if I leave the door open after I shit I kid you not the smell permeates the entire house and we have to light matches to control the stank.
Febreeze is your friends boys.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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kr0nik0
Ole' Salty


Registered: 02/13/12
Posts: 17,756
Loc: Western Slope, CO
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Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: akira_akuma]
#21817445 - 06/17/15 01:05 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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There is scientific research online about the thong, fart diffusing theory. Google that shit, you won't be disappointed.
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“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”
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kr0nik0
Ole' Salty


Registered: 02/13/12
Posts: 17,756
Loc: Western Slope, CO
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Fabreeze just masks that shit (pun intended). Also most of those really strong scented sprays and liquids mess with my allergies.
I been using a hospital grade odor neutralizer at home recently. I'm not even joking.
The spray doesn't have any smell, it just does its job which is to get rid of funky smells.
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“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ

Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: kr0nik0]
#21817459 - 06/17/15 01:09 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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i just googled "thong, fart diffusing theory" and i was very confused.
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ

Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Quote:
Bitter Cactus said: My kratom farts and shits stink so bad and if I leave the door open after I shit I kid you not the smell permeates the entire house and we have to light matches to control the stank.
Febreeze is your friends boys.
your colon is fucked.
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CHeifM4sterDiezL
Chief Globerts


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 22,541
Loc: United States
Last seen: 11 minutes, 52 seconds
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Awesome thread almonds
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ

Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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isn't it just the greatest.
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kr0nik0
Ole' Salty


Registered: 02/13/12
Posts: 17,756
Loc: Western Slope, CO
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Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: akira_akuma]
#21817479 - 06/17/15 01:17 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Haha! I didn't mean google it using those exact words. Just search for something along the lines of "do thongs cause silent farts."
:vapd:
--------------------
“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: akira_akuma]
#21817481 - 06/17/15 01:18 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I think it should be stickied personally.
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ

Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: Amanita86]
#21817486 - 06/17/15 01:23 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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so it's just spaced so there no flap and then there's no fart sound! that's ingenious!
the more unexpected... the deadlier....
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kr0nik0
Ole' Salty


Registered: 02/13/12
Posts: 17,756
Loc: Western Slope, CO
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Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: akira_akuma] 1
#21817492 - 06/17/15 01:25 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Indeed, sir. You got it now.
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“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ

Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: kr0nik0]
#21817502 - 06/17/15 01:32 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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dem wimmens.
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ballsalsa
Universally Loathed and Reviled



Registered: 03/11/15
Posts: 20,855
Loc: Foreign Lands
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Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: akira_akuma]
#21817513 - 06/17/15 01:43 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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i once dated a girl for a few months that pretty much never farted...until she fell asleep. Once her eyes closed, all bets were off. You could roast a turkey under those sheets. kinda made it awkward being the big spoon.
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Like cannabis topics? Read my cannabis blog here
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SunnyD
WiZarD oF LoVe



Registered: 04/29/13
Posts: 25,236
Loc: Planet earth
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
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Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: kr0nik0]
#21817606 - 06/17/15 03:07 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Ok men
lets chug beer and scratch our balls and talk about how hard we banged our girlfriends in the back of our ford raptors painted as the american flag while chugging more beer

tottal jk tho
this thread is alittle pointless cause 90% of this site is ball bearers
--------------------
        And to everyone who thinks life is just a game, Do you like the part you are playing? This is the time in life I am living! And I face each day with a smile My music Library of Synthesizer goodness
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Adden

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc:
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Quote:
Bitter Cactus said: Us men need a thread where we can fart and burp all we want without worrying about what the ladies think.
We men need*
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Turtletotem
Dutch Delight



Registered: 09/02/13
Posts: 3,763
Last seen: 4 years, 11 months
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Re: The "Men Only" thread...... [Re: Adden]
#21817712 - 06/17/15 04:13 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I said it before and I'll say it again: AF = the Bullshit Man.
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