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Anonymous #1

Horribly depressed
    #21815255 - 06/16/15 03:50 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I just finished my senior year in highschool, and the more I think about it, the more miserable I become. I'm bummed out because the fact that I missed out on ever having sex, a girl friend and even my first kiss. I'm not an ugly kid, I've been called cute by some of the finest women I've ever seen in school. I've got plenty of friends, probably only 15 of them I'm close with though. so thats a little background, but heres the thing thats killing me:

    I met a beautiful, talented, smart, easy going, fun to be around, sweet girl in one of my classes this year, and we had so much in common. I got to know her really well, I felt so comfortable around her, I was hilarious around her, and in general I just loved being around her. Prom season came around (April) , I was hanging out with some of the kids shes friends with, (I'm friends with the too but am not as close to them as she is) and they asked me if I would go to prom with her, just as a friend; I said yes of course, and was delighted at the whole idea. I thought even if it doesn't go further than this, I'm just glad I get to go to prom with such a beautiful girl.

      So a month passes and I'm hanging out with these people again, and I ask if I should still take her and they just say no. I was crushed, but I played it off and said ok whatever. And one of them just says that prom is a bunch of bullshit anyway, and its not even fun, its more of an experience for the girl blah blah blah (The one who said this went to prom with his girlfriend and had an awesome time :frown: )

      So I think she just changed her mind for some reason. She ended up taking one of my good friends. This kills me to think about, it still hurts, and prom passed like a week ago.

    I had a blast with her and all my other good friends at an prom after party though :smile:

    I've never actually told anyone that story, so it helps so much just to get it off my chest.




    But anyway, heres my actual dilemma:

    I'm just really sad. The only thing that makes me feel happy, is opiates. I hate pot, simply for the fact that it seems to make me think about all my problems .

    My reason for being sad, mainly stems from a condition that occurs during the onset of puberty in many teens, called gynecomastia. Basically what happens, is you get really freakishly weird looking, puffy nipples. Look of pictures of "Gynecomastia" and you'll see what I mean. I fucking hate that I was cursed with it, it basically ruined my whole highschool experience. I mean yea I had some good times, but I was never truly happy, I was always hiding this.

    Gynecomastia killed my self confidence, sparked my depression, and whats worse, I got it in the 9th grade, and its still not gone after graduating the 12th grade. Several doctors year after year always say "oh itll go away when your done with puberty, don't worry" But after hundreds of hours of online research, I know that around 20 % of cases, never go away.

  It just makes me so fucking angry. All the beach visits I said no thanks too, all the times my friends went to water parks, pools, even vacations; I always made up an excuse so that I wouldn't have to take my shirt off and expose my disgusting condition. It makes me sad, that I could have been so out going, and had a completely different highschool experience.

    I started working out at the gym in the 10th grade, and I got pretty lean and a bit muscular, but my nipples always just puffed straight out like fucking lasers out of my shirt. I figured if I can't look good with my shirt off, then whats the point? so I went back to unhealthy eating and stopped working out.

  I didn't think about surgery until this year, and thats when I learned that surgery is $8000, and insurance NEVER covers it. Thats alot of money, but I don't care how fucking hard I have to work to get rid of this bullshit. I've been selling drugs, and am about to start a fast food job, in hopes that I make enough money for the surgery before I start college.

    Highschool has been ruined because of this, but I WILL NOT let college get ruined by this. I'm at about $1000 right now, and have 4 months until I start college. If I don't make enough money and get the surgery in that time, Im going to kill myself. Also want mention, my family is awfully poor, so they cannot help me out in anyway.


Well it feels good to atleast get all thats bothering me off my chest. Have a good one guys


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Anonymous #2

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21815297 - 06/16/15 03:58 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Chicks wouldn't care man, they love nipples.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #21815546 - 06/16/15 04:50 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I did suffer from a somewhat comparable condition, I do have tiny wrists, like a little girl, even though the rest of my body is perfectly normal.
They'd tease me about it and even girls would comment on it just until I grew out of that age and learned that I would just have to ignore my insecurities.
Since I left school, not ever has anyone mentioned it again.


It's more like your attitude towards that condition is causing the main problem for you.
You're about to leave behind high school, the place where kids are being teased and bullied for unrelevant physical deviances.
You should use the time to get in shape again, as that is far more important than your nipples.
What your insurance might cover is a psychological aid of some kind, maybe even a therapy. That's what might help dealing with the real issue: your insecurity


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Anonymous #3

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #21815559 - 06/16/15 04:53 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

And if you still decide that it's necessary to go to a doctor, at least compare lots of offers. 8000 USD seems very expensive for that.


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Anonymous #4

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #21840223 - 06/22/15 12:48 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

You don't sound particularly depressed to me, more hyper-focused on one particular issue, causing you to be very unhappy.  You don't sound like you have clinical depression.

Opiods work because they are exceptionally good mood stabilizers, but dependence on them can cause severe and sudden depression when you are not on them; a serotonin crash.  This will make you feel worse in the end, trust me.   

Look around more for doctors, what I found says the average cost is $3,333 (http://www.plasticsurgery.org/cosmetic-procedures/gynecomastia-surgery.html?sub=Gynecomastia+surgery+cost)


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Anonymous #5

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #21840420 - 06/22/15 02:09 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Who gives a fuck man. If you embrace it and show people it's no big deal then they can't make fun of you. One of my buddy's had like one really funny long ass nipple and he would always make a joke of it and even show it off to girls. It didn't weird them out it turned them on that he was so outgoing and care free. Women don't only care about looks, it's more about our personality and outlook on life


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Anonymous #6

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #21858371 - 06/26/15 02:19 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Shop around man.. youll find realy good boob job doctors going from city to city doing them in high end hotels... my sister got hers at a 4 star hotel for qround 8 grand from a world renound plastic sergion... i agree your aggmentation wouldnt be 1/4 of that..


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Anonymous #7

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #21858621 - 06/26/15 05:27 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #5 said:
Who gives a fuck man. If you embrace it and show people it's no big deal then they can't make fun of you. One of my buddy's had like one really funny long ass nipple and he would always make a joke of it and even show it off to girls. It didn't weird them out it turned them on that he was so outgoing and care free. Women don't only care about looks, it's more about our personality and outlook on life




I agree here. 

Also, have you done any research about hormones?  I've heard that cows milk generally has (artificial)hormones that effect people too.
You know there is a huge financial incentive to make cows more and more productive with faster development of udders and more milk production.

Someone in their 60s commented to me how kids used to be smaller at age of 14 or so, now they are so much bigger almost like adults.  Is this because of artificial hormones from milk?  Supposedly girls are developing breasts much earlier too.  Soy has estrogen like hormones that can mess with a guys hormonal balance at a young age. 

Wiki:
"Certain components of personal care products such as lavender or tea tree oil and certain supplements such as Dong Quai and Tribulus terrestris have been associated with gynecomastia.[10]"

It's a chem. problem.. try to figure out the chemical solution?


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Anonymous #4

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #21862032 - 06/26/15 10:59 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Not from milk, more meat.  Actually, a lot of the growth enhancement was done with antibiotics, not growth factors.  Either way, gynomastia is frequently a genetic issue and changing diet will do nothing.

I dont think saying just ignore it is helpful.  For some people that works, for others "owning it" is not a viable option.  He does not seem to feel that is a viable option for him.

So OP, look around, save your money up and have the surgery.  Always check if your plastic surgeon is a member of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (http://www.plasticsurgery.org/) and has experience in the surgery you want and can show you pre and post op examples.  NEVER try to skimp or not look into the surgeon.  A botched job could give you at best, a worse situation and at worse, kill you in a horribly painful drawn out infection.


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Anonymous #7

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #21862142 - 06/26/15 11:34 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

If your not comfortable owning it that's ok but the coolest people I know are comfortable making fun of themselves. 

I was at a truck stop buying gas and there was a video monitor pointed at the semi trucks.  A trucker called in and said there was something wrong with the pump.  The cashier lady said something, and then said "we can see you from the video camera".  This hugely fat trucker with man titties immediately lifted up his shirt and started jiggling his fat around, everyone inside was busting out laughing.  There are a few people on mush cult who post about their failed attempts, and make gay comments and stuff when we know they are straight and they do know how to grow.  Those are my favorite kinds of people by far...


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Anonymous #4

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #21862431 - 06/27/15 01:49 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Not sure I get the point of your post.  Why did he come in and dance his fat around?


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Anonymous #7

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #21862460 - 06/27/15 02:01 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

You had to be there, anyways:
Point is he wasn't concerned about his looks and was able to make people laugh cuz he didn't take himself too seriously and just didn't care.


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Anonymous #6

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #21862530 - 06/27/15 02:43 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Na he just hasnt lived yet to realize who gives a flying fuck about looks.. and superficial shit.

In 10 years hell be lookin back at this and thinkin wtf...  at that age i wasnt comftorbale in my skin either..


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Anonymous #4

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #21862549 - 06/27/15 03:01 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

So when does a cosmetic condition justify mental distress and treatment?  How about alopecia? Webbed digits? It is difficult to determine these issues, and I don't think it is fair to treat all cases of such things as equal.  Most of the advice on here has been, in essence, "get over it".  What message does this send? Your (OP) concerns are unjustified, you do not have the self confidence that you should have, and the mental symptoms are simply because you are, in another manner, a failure. 

If the physical traits are not so severe that 99% of the population would not identify it as an issue, then body dysmorphic disorder is likely.  If BDD is the problem, a much more nuanced treatment program is needed.


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Anonymous #7

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #21862665 - 06/27/15 04:45 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Option 1, see it as an asset
Option 2, change diet exercise
Option 3 surgery
In that order.

Were just saying ...
If you had enough confidence to own it and joke about people would admire you for it, it would be an asset.  I'd be like damn this guy is awesome.  That might not be you OP, do what you feel is best.


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Anonymous #8

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #21865107 - 06/27/15 05:10 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I had a friend with gynecomastia. He claimed a situation much like yours in high school. But when I knew him he was dropping out of college and basically throwing away his life in a fuck it party till I puke kind of way. We would sit around tripping acid and laughing at his man boobs, and he didn't just have puffy nips, he had full on tube titties that stuck out and sagged down his chest about 6 inches. He learned to laugh at himself and did have a lot of friends. He had it bad for this one chick tho and she wouldn't give him any play. She did keep him on the hook playing that friend bs with him all the time when really she just wanted to hang at his place because it was a party pad and a good source of fresh cock for her. She was kind of loose and would be getting fucked by a different guy every couple of days. When she hit on me one night I could see the jealousy in his eyes. So I did what I normally don't do and turned down this opportunity to numb it with this girl. I meet up with dude about a year later and we were hanging out and talking.  I ask him if he ever got any of that and he told me that he did eventually knock boots with her, I ask him how it was and he was like it was ok but she gave him some kind of vd or STD or something.  When I was talking to him he was telling me how he chased her around for two years just to wind up with vd. Anyway he was bragging about the girl he was currently with saying how fine she was and how she had a good job and he was basically being kept by her and didn't have to work. When I knew him the only job he ever had was working as a waiter at skyline chili. About the time he was bragging about how good he had it his phone rang. He answered with a series of yes dears and I wills. When he hung up he announced the he was going to have to cut our reunion short so he could go pick up his girls daughter and hit the grocery store and get dinner started.
Moral of the story, enjoy every minute you can and don't sweat the small puffs because life is fleeting and nothing ever turns out the way you thought it would or is as good as you thought it would be. You are not in a wheelchair and you ain't cooking dinner for someone else's kid, from what you have told use your living a pretty good life for someone your age. Do whatever is going to make you happy brotha, and the best of luck to you.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #21867678 - 06/28/15 09:04 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Thanks for all the suggestions guys


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Anonymous #9

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21922985 - 07/10/15 02:41 AM (8 years, 6 months ago)

Keep saving. Become a waiter at a good restaurant they make 20-30 bucks per hour with tips.  Don't give up.  You can do it!!!!  Check out Dr Mordicai Blau, he does over 200 gynecomastia surgeries per year.


Edited by Anonymous (07/11/15 01:28 PM)


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Anonymous #4

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22055315 - 08/06/15 08:01 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Thanks for all the suggestions guys




There are some credit cards designed to be used for medical costs that offer some unique payment/interest options.  Things like care card or was it care credit....anyway check them out.


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Anonymous #10

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #22055816 - 08/06/15 09:53 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Don't males fully get out of liberty sometime in their early 20's? Spending 8000 for a a possibly unnecessary surgery sounds like a huge mistake.


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Anonymous #11

Re: Horribly depressed *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22055940 - 08/06/15 10:29 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: x



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Anonymous #1

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #22056100 - 08/06/15 11:26 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #9 said:
Keep saving. Become a waiter at a good restaurant they make 20-30 bucks per hour with tips.  Don't give up.  You can do it!!!!  Check out Dr Mordicai Blau, he does over 200 gynecomastia surgeries per year.




Yes Thats the doctor I was going to go to. He performs surgery's just a few hrs away from my home, and is supposivley the best in the world!


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Anonymous #1

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #11]
    #22056113 - 08/06/15 11:31 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #11 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Thanks for all the suggestions guys




I don't know if you will check this thread again but I felt like adding my 2 cents.

I am coming from the perspective of having low self-esteem, history of depression and anxiety, and long-term opiate and polysubstance abuse. I also write from my current position of having quit the substances almost 3 years ago, and having worked through many of the issues I had trouble getting past.

You are fine just the way you are. I know it doesn't mean much when you feel this way, but tell yourself this again and again. I completely love and accept myself.

I believe these problems come from a lack of acceptance for oneself, and they can be resolved by accepting where we are at, and being willing to change. Acceptance is also something that takes practice, and happens through actions. Working towards a you who is more accepting of yourself is working towards growth and a positive mindset.

I also know, from direct personal experience, that using opiates furthers my insecurities in the long term, and hinders my ability to accept myself for who I am.

To give you some background, I was caught up over my homoerotic thoughts from my teens, through my 20s, and was closeted until recently. The amount of shame I felt over this caused me very poor self-esteem, and led me nearly to suicide many times. The fear I faced was very real to me, I feared what people would think so much, because I'm sensitive and a few early experiences in my adolescence hammered into my mind that I couldn't let anyone know I could be gay.

It didn't matter that I was OK with other guys being gay - I held myself to some other standard that I formed when I felt I had to avoid confrontation. The thought of getting into altercations in school was so scary, I couldn't get over it, and at the same time I learned that gay kids saw conflict. So, I hid it as much as possible, never acting on my sexual impulses, being romantically and sexually alone most of my life, out of fear.

Opiates only strengthened this fear and lack of self-acceptance. Using made everything numb, and took away my libido so I wouldn't have to deal with unwanted sexual desires. But it was killing me, and I became more and more addicted, and desperate.

Anyway, to be brief, quitting the substances was the best thing I've ever done, and has allowed me to develop some acceptance for myself and my life, the consequences of using so long, etc. And in doing that, I've grown and these nagging fears have diminished.

As it relates to your issue OP, a little bit of acceptance goes a long way. IME drugs worsen the psychological side. And, what happened in high school doesn't dictate how your college or life beyond will play out - there are plenty of people who are different in one way or another, who lead normal lives, who care and help others and have feelings and are beautiful people.

I hope this has brightened your outlook, and hang in there! :heart:

You also could see a shrink, sounds like you have body dysmorphism disorder.




Thank you for the story. I can't accept this though I'm working my way to $8000 and I so far I've got $1300. I might not get the surgery as soon as I wanted (before college) but I'll get it before the second semester and that gives me a huge sense of hope


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Anonymous #9

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22056438 - 08/07/15 01:59 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Right on!!  Keep that goal in your mind....save up and go to him.  I had my surgery a long time ago when I was still in my teens, and it changed my life.  I didn't go to Dr. Blau, but then again I didn't know who he was back then.  My surgeon did a great job though, although he's not in the field anymore.  I know what your goin' through man trust me.  Keep saving, you'll get it in no time.  Eat minimal, don't buy useless stuff, and start getting your body in shape now if it's not already, because it will help the doc more easily sculpt your new appearance if he doesn't have to play with excess fat and loose skin.  They do have special shirts for gynecomastia, which are like super-spandex undershirts which pull everything in.  Try to find some online.

Don't give up.

Peace


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Anonymous #12

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22212057 - 09/09/15 12:30 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Hey man - I have gynecomastia too, though it came on much later in my life than high-school. I can't say that it doesn't bother me and I would like to have surgery for it myself and have researched said, though like you can't afford it. However as other posters have said - it's just simply a superficial thing and I tend to joke about it regarding my own appearance. You can accept it for the time being and it's nothing to really be depressed about - it's just a medical condition that won't kill or harm you physically.


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Anonymous #13

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #12]
    #22215286 - 09/10/15 02:17 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Do you think it's possible you have a slight hormone inbalance? Take up working out a lot. It'll increase your testosterone and also give you something positive and rewarding to focus on. Maybe focus on your pectorals. Just remember, it's your choice to let negative thoughts fester. Read a book about positive thinking.


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Anonymous #12

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #13]
    #22216672 - 09/10/15 12:20 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I'm not the OP but mine is caused by hyperprolactinemia - elevated serum prolactin. Prolactin is a hormone pregnant women secrete that makes their breasts grow bigger.


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Anonymous #13

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #12]
    #22216739 - 09/10/15 12:35 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Whoops, sorry. Forgot to change who my reply was to. Well its worth the OP getting checked out by a doctor. Maybe if they corrected his hormones, it would help. Either way, we all grow old and all of our bodies get ugly in the end. Learn to love yourself. Think of all the things you like about yourself.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #13] * 1
    #22216986 - 09/10/15 01:48 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Getting the suregery done this winter when I'm on break from college. Dr. Blau happens to offer finnacing plan with no interest the first 6 months. Thanks for all the words of encouraging everyone


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Anonymous #14

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22217031 - 09/10/15 02:00 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Remember, surgery is only a band-aide, the underlying issues will remain. Surgery isn't a fix, it generally makes things worse psychologically. You'd only be putting the dirt under the rug.  And....... don't keep having surgery to correct imperfections till nothing is left... then you'll be back to square one. Are you ready to choose obvious disfigurement over boobs?


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Anonymous #13

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #14]
    #22217424 - 09/10/15 03:42 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I feel similarly as the person above, but it is your choice. At the very least, have the hormone problems or whatever causes it addressed so they don't negate the results of the surgery in the future.


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Anonymous #9

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22218499 - 09/10/15 07:58 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

There ya go man!!! 

Congrats


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Anonymous #9

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #14]
    #22218560 - 09/10/15 08:13 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

It's not disfigurement, many doctors do an excellent job making it look perfectly normal.  Dr. Blau has plenty of before and after pics on his site.  Also, the issue is not going to come back.  Most guys who develop this condition develop all the female-like breast fat during their teens, then it stops growing.  If a doctor removes a woman's breast fat, it's not coming back, it happens to women with cancer all the time. 

This idea of Gynecomastia was more accepted back in ancient times, but as our societies started to move more toward males dominating government and warfare, and heavy suppression of women, guys who have this started to get teased and bullied, and now most of them just hide it.  Plus, most guys who have it really do just want it gone.

Hermes and Aphrodite's kid was named Hermaphrodite.  Look up pics of him, he was a guy with breasts.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #22221433 - 09/11/15 11:21 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I have absolutely no problem having a few surgery scars, I've seen pics of Dr. Blau's work, and I in know way think that his patients have "obvious disfigurement"

I appreciate you giving me a heads up though, and trying to save me a few thousand dollars, but I have my mind set on surgery


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Anonymous #15

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22226310 - 09/12/15 09:24 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Dude we are almost in a similar position. The only difference between you and me is I've kissed a few girls here and there and am no longer a virgin. I didn't even fucking graduate from high school on time and spent a shit load of this summer in summer school and it blew.

Right now I feel in a similar spot as you. I feel like I didn't get enough of what I wanted too out of high school and it makes me depressed that all my peers went to house parties, got drunk a lot, had a lot of sex and I didn't get to start doing those things until really recently.

Listen man you'll be fine, right now I'm pretty fucking stressed over these girls I met at a Festival and on how I want to entice them to be my permanent group of friends. I don't have a whole lot of friends right now and college started and I was hoping on meeting new peeps but since it's community college and since I'm only taking 2 classes this semester so far I honestly have no luck in meeting any new or cool interesting people so this group of girls is basically my last hope of having any sort of friends for the remainder of the year, so I'm stressed about not blowing my shot with these girls.

Don't sweat it bro, we'll get through this. We will both have a cool group of friends soon enough.

Don't use drugs as a crutch dude, it's a recipe for disaster. I've started using Ketamine as a way to shut off any raw emotions I have right now but it's not gonna work out at all if you use it as a crutch. Go out there make some friends, meet some girls, and solve your problem.


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Anonymous #15

Re: Horribly depressed [Re: Anonymous #15]
    #22226321 - 09/12/15 09:29 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Id recommend MDMA as a social lubricant or as a social catalyst. MDMA has worked wonders for me. Seriously, MDMA works wonders. I made out with a really hot chick while rolling and it was fantastic. If you feel social anxiety or feel like you just can't make that social magic happen then MDMA may work for you


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* Most depressing shroomerite ever?
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Anonymous 2,525 74 07/21/09 06:35 PM
by Anonymous
* lately i'm really depressed when ever im alone? Anonymous 569 18 01/05/08 03:00 PM
by Anonymous

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