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Anonymous #11
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Re: Horribly depressed *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #1]
#22055940 - 08/06/15 10:29 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Post deleted by AnonymousReason for deletion: x
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous #9 said: Keep saving. Become a waiter at a good restaurant they make 20-30 bucks per hour with tips. Don't give up. You can do it!!!! Check out Dr Mordicai Blau, he does over 200 gynecomastia surgeries per year.
Yes Thats the doctor I was going to go to. He performs surgery's just a few hrs away from my home, and is supposivley the best in the world!
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous #11 said:
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Anonymous #1 said: Thanks for all the suggestions guys
I don't know if you will check this thread again but I felt like adding my 2 cents.
I am coming from the perspective of having low self-esteem, history of depression and anxiety, and long-term opiate and polysubstance abuse. I also write from my current position of having quit the substances almost 3 years ago, and having worked through many of the issues I had trouble getting past.
You are fine just the way you are. I know it doesn't mean much when you feel this way, but tell yourself this again and again. I completely love and accept myself.
I believe these problems come from a lack of acceptance for oneself, and they can be resolved by accepting where we are at, and being willing to change. Acceptance is also something that takes practice, and happens through actions. Working towards a you who is more accepting of yourself is working towards growth and a positive mindset.
I also know, from direct personal experience, that using opiates furthers my insecurities in the long term, and hinders my ability to accept myself for who I am.
To give you some background, I was caught up over my homoerotic thoughts from my teens, through my 20s, and was closeted until recently. The amount of shame I felt over this caused me very poor self-esteem, and led me nearly to suicide many times. The fear I faced was very real to me, I feared what people would think so much, because I'm sensitive and a few early experiences in my adolescence hammered into my mind that I couldn't let anyone know I could be gay.
It didn't matter that I was OK with other guys being gay - I held myself to some other standard that I formed when I felt I had to avoid confrontation. The thought of getting into altercations in school was so scary, I couldn't get over it, and at the same time I learned that gay kids saw conflict. So, I hid it as much as possible, never acting on my sexual impulses, being romantically and sexually alone most of my life, out of fear.
Opiates only strengthened this fear and lack of self-acceptance. Using made everything numb, and took away my libido so I wouldn't have to deal with unwanted sexual desires. But it was killing me, and I became more and more addicted, and desperate.
Anyway, to be brief, quitting the substances was the best thing I've ever done, and has allowed me to develop some acceptance for myself and my life, the consequences of using so long, etc. And in doing that, I've grown and these nagging fears have diminished.
As it relates to your issue OP, a little bit of acceptance goes a long way. IME drugs worsen the psychological side. And, what happened in high school doesn't dictate how your college or life beyond will play out - there are plenty of people who are different in one way or another, who lead normal lives, who care and help others and have feelings and are beautiful people.
I hope this has brightened your outlook, and hang in there! 
You also could see a shrink, sounds like you have body dysmorphism disorder.
Thank you for the story. I can't accept this though I'm working my way to $8000 and I so far I've got $1300. I might not get the surgery as soon as I wanted (before college) but I'll get it before the second semester and that gives me a huge sense of hope
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Anonymous #9
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Right on!! Keep that goal in your mind....save up and go to him. I had my surgery a long time ago when I was still in my teens, and it changed my life. I didn't go to Dr. Blau, but then again I didn't know who he was back then. My surgeon did a great job though, although he's not in the field anymore. I know what your goin' through man trust me. Keep saving, you'll get it in no time. Eat minimal, don't buy useless stuff, and start getting your body in shape now if it's not already, because it will help the doc more easily sculpt your new appearance if he doesn't have to play with excess fat and loose skin. They do have special shirts for gynecomastia, which are like super-spandex undershirts which pull everything in. Try to find some online.
Don't give up.
Peace
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Anonymous #12
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Hey man - I have gynecomastia too, though it came on much later in my life than high-school. I can't say that it doesn't bother me and I would like to have surgery for it myself and have researched said, though like you can't afford it. However as other posters have said - it's just simply a superficial thing and I tend to joke about it regarding my own appearance. You can accept it for the time being and it's nothing to really be depressed about - it's just a medical condition that won't kill or harm you physically.
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Anonymous #13
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Do you think it's possible you have a slight hormone inbalance? Take up working out a lot. It'll increase your testosterone and also give you something positive and rewarding to focus on. Maybe focus on your pectorals. Just remember, it's your choice to let negative thoughts fester. Read a book about positive thinking.
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Anonymous #12
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I'm not the OP but mine is caused by hyperprolactinemia - elevated serum prolactin. Prolactin is a hormone pregnant women secrete that makes their breasts grow bigger.
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Anonymous #13
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Whoops, sorry. Forgot to change who my reply was to. Well its worth the OP getting checked out by a doctor. Maybe if they corrected his hormones, it would help. Either way, we all grow old and all of our bodies get ugly in the end. Learn to love yourself. Think of all the things you like about yourself.
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Anonymous #1
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Getting the suregery done this winter when I'm on break from college. Dr. Blau happens to offer finnacing plan with no interest the first 6 months. Thanks for all the words of encouraging everyone
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Anonymous #14
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Remember, surgery is only a band-aide, the underlying issues will remain. Surgery isn't a fix, it generally makes things worse psychologically. You'd only be putting the dirt under the rug. And....... don't keep having surgery to correct imperfections till nothing is left... then you'll be back to square one. Are you ready to choose obvious disfigurement over boobs?
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Anonymous #13
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I feel similarly as the person above, but it is your choice. At the very least, have the hormone problems or whatever causes it addressed so they don't negate the results of the surgery in the future.
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Anonymous #9
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There ya go man!!!
Congrats
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Anonymous #9
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It's not disfigurement, many doctors do an excellent job making it look perfectly normal. Dr. Blau has plenty of before and after pics on his site. Also, the issue is not going to come back. Most guys who develop this condition develop all the female-like breast fat during their teens, then it stops growing. If a doctor removes a woman's breast fat, it's not coming back, it happens to women with cancer all the time.
This idea of Gynecomastia was more accepted back in ancient times, but as our societies started to move more toward males dominating government and warfare, and heavy suppression of women, guys who have this started to get teased and bullied, and now most of them just hide it. Plus, most guys who have it really do just want it gone.
Hermes and Aphrodite's kid was named Hermaphrodite. Look up pics of him, he was a guy with breasts.
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Anonymous #1
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I have absolutely no problem having a few surgery scars, I've seen pics of Dr. Blau's work, and I in know way think that his patients have "obvious disfigurement"
I appreciate you giving me a heads up though, and trying to save me a few thousand dollars, but I have my mind set on surgery
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Anonymous #15
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Dude we are almost in a similar position. The only difference between you and me is I've kissed a few girls here and there and am no longer a virgin. I didn't even fucking graduate from high school on time and spent a shit load of this summer in summer school and it blew.
Right now I feel in a similar spot as you. I feel like I didn't get enough of what I wanted too out of high school and it makes me depressed that all my peers went to house parties, got drunk a lot, had a lot of sex and I didn't get to start doing those things until really recently.
Listen man you'll be fine, right now I'm pretty fucking stressed over these girls I met at a Festival and on how I want to entice them to be my permanent group of friends. I don't have a whole lot of friends right now and college started and I was hoping on meeting new peeps but since it's community college and since I'm only taking 2 classes this semester so far I honestly have no luck in meeting any new or cool interesting people so this group of girls is basically my last hope of having any sort of friends for the remainder of the year, so I'm stressed about not blowing my shot with these girls.
Don't sweat it bro, we'll get through this. We will both have a cool group of friends soon enough.
Don't use drugs as a crutch dude, it's a recipe for disaster. I've started using Ketamine as a way to shut off any raw emotions I have right now but it's not gonna work out at all if you use it as a crutch. Go out there make some friends, meet some girls, and solve your problem.
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Anonymous #15
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Id recommend MDMA as a social lubricant or as a social catalyst. MDMA has worked wonders for me. Seriously, MDMA works wonders. I made out with a really hot chick while rolling and it was fantastic. If you feel social anxiety or feel like you just can't make that social magic happen then MDMA may work for you
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