Hello. Now the (Shroom) trip as a whole I wouldn't really call "Bad"; but there was one moment I remember when the trip got REALLY REALLY intense. And I just now remembered it more clearly and I want to explain the situation and maybe discuss a bit what I should have done to ease my pain earlier and a bit smoother.
I remember that wherever I looked I saw intense violent movement and distortions, and I really didn't like what I saw as I wanted to calm down but I just couldn't because I was like surrounded by my own 'negatively' distorted perception of reality, and it was like the more I stared into the abyss the more it stared back into me, literally; since at it's worst I saw screaming demonic faces, which kinda scared me a bit (Not that I panicked but like seriously; for fucks sake.) So the only thing I could really do was to distract myself was by moving my vision and focus around, and starting to think about other stuff, which at that moment wasn't really the most positive stuff but some really depressing BUT still true facts about my life, probably a bit exacerbated and magnified but still none the less true; enough to make me rethink and improve my life afterwards.
For this trip I also had a trip buddy who took the same dose as me; luckily he was doing better than me but it was scary because I was alone in my perspective as it was only I that could see what was going on; I mean I can't like point to my trip buddy and say "Dude I'm like getting attacked by demons and shit, my whole life sucks and what the fuck is this stupid idea to do 2.5 grams of Shrooms when I have HPPD and why doesn't anything make sense AT ALL?!" .. Which is basically what eventually happened lol but still, it causes A LOT of social dissociation; as you have to come to sense with everything and anything less than those direct words makes the social situation confusing and tense as you have to blow yourself through a wall of social norms of positivity and calmness to explain your situation; something which generally isn't the easiest when you're in the middle of a confusing bad trip; and even harder if you don't know the persons around you or even worse; the persons around you are unsympathetic douchebags. But luckily I knew my trip buddy decently well so this wasn't the case for me.
But still the question is: what should I; or anyone else have do in that situation? I mean I tried to calm down and enjoy the trip (Like my trip buddy was) but it just seemed so impossible when I'm burning in middle of hell. So I guess in a more general sense; how do you stop a bad trip?
Extra information for those interested: Also worth noting is that like previously mentioned I had and have HPPD, so a prime scare at the moment was that I had just fucked up my vision even more and that I would never stop hallucinating; which is sadly true to some extent but.. Ahem. BUT the interesting thing is that maybe from what I remember from the older previous trips before this one (Note: This is very hazy sadly because of the general nature of that situation) but I actually think that THIS was how I got HPPD in the first place; fearing that I would never stop hallucinating and because of it actually never stopping to hallucinate. The story goes deeper and actually involved several (bad) trips, drug mixes and general abuse; but I think at it's core it was a bad trip that stuck; starting the neuroplastic changes that gave me HPPD to this day. That's why I find this so interesting because if fear can turn the mind one way; then maybe some hope and optimism can turn it the other way? Or at least prevent it from going wrong in the first place for others.
Edited by AnonLMN619 (06/16/15 06:43 AM)
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