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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Anger and suffering 1
#21803692 - 06/13/15 08:11 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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The more I go through life, the more I realize that anger stems from the denial of suffering. Each and every time I struggle to not be in touch with my emotional pain, I end up responding angrily, feeling that outside forces are responsible for my agony. Instead of reflecting on my feelings, thoughts and of the way my body responds to all that, I end up expecting that other people should magically know what I think. And this way of being doesn't even reflect my rational way of understanding things.
From the first moments we start living, we're receiving a kind of programming that teaches us how to be angry. "Don't let that kid take your toy, show him who's the boss", "you shouldn't let her talk to you like that", and all kinds of other emotionally retarded messages flood our brains even before we start creating sentences. By the time we grow up, we already have a full arsenal of tapping into anger, simply by the power of example.
I'm right at the beginning when it comes to learning how to fully experience the hurt I've been carrying with me all these years, and I think the most difficult thing about it is to remember that it feels better than struggling, because my brain is in the habit of denying this simple fact.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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Kurt
Thinker, blinker, writer, typer.

Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 1,688
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Good insights...
I can't assume I am able to relate.
My thought, is that life can suck pretty bad, but you don't have to resent it. Unfortunately you may have to experience the rougher side of things to see this through.
I don't think there's any way to rationalize it, and that is pretty important. At the same time I don't let an experience be something myself or others are just subjected to, because that is just sometimes another rationalization.
It just becomes your life, then you see it, like light through a prism. the kalaidascopic experience. Inserting reasons, or not, it just dances in front of you. Melancholia, maybe that weirdness. You seem to "get" the filtered experience.
Then the residuum of rationale... People's stories, what they think, but what you can't clarify, because you don't tell those kinds of stories. You don't want to complain but your friends and family are telling stories without any consideration of your actual circumstances...
I think trying to sort out what you can't help in life, but at the same time understand that there is no outside force, when you come to what your life is as well, is a balance and not so straight forward tightrope walk.
And then you find there are things within you, like the possibility to seek the voidness (what you called darkness) of suffering. That is what I am trying to figure out...
The stoics are great. Seneca keeps me afloat and tranquil.
Increscunt animi, virescit volnere virtus. ["The spirits increase, vigor grows through a wound."]
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Buster_Brown
L'une


Registered: 09/17/11
Posts: 11,309
Last seen: 3 days, 7 hours
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Quote:
MushroomTrip said: ...outside forces are responsible for my agony.
If the mind is not the body, then:
Body affecting the mind = Emotional pain
Mind affecting the body = Physical pain
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