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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy


Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: What is your sexual orientation? [Re: TNK]
#21808831 - 06/14/15 11:52 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Here is a list of some of the most popular sex acts.
1. Donkey Punch: involves the male punching the sexual partner in the back of the head during anal or vaginal sex prior to orgasm, to provoke a shock causing the vaginal or anal muscles to contract around the male’s penis.
2. Rusty Trombone: The act of performing anal cunnilingus while reaching up above the testicles to manually administer quick up and down motions to the penile shaft; resulting in a violent yet pleasant explosion. It is then customary for the female to then give a quick blow into the anus for good luck, the lips blowing into the anus sounds very similar to a trombones sweet melody. This was introduced to the Americas in the late 50’s.
3. The Alabama Hot Pocket: a special fetish maneuver that roughly involves taking a shit into a woman’s vagina, typically followed up by a good ole fuckin’. The term “Alabama” originated from a lesser known, but crucial additional practice that involves “Porky Piggin'” the female who has recieved the Hot Pocket. In Alabama, you see, good old redneck boys, when bored, would fuck pig troughs or large, wet piles of mud. To properly perform the Porky Piggin’ follow-up procedure, one must take a massive shit onto the vagina WITHOUT spreading the lips. This creates a core that enters the woman, and then dregs that explode out all over her. By randomly stabbing with the cock, one will successfully Porky Piggin’ the girl… repeating, naturally, the action that would normally be associated with screwing a pile of mud or animal trough.
4. Tony Danza: When you are giving it to a chick from behind, you yell out “Who’s the boss?” She’ll get confused, turn her head around, at this moment, you donkey punch her in the face and then scream TONY DANZA!!!
5. Abe Lincoln: When an unconscious person gets jizzed on their face, gets their pubes cut and applied to their face to form a beard, then adorned with a top hat.
6. Hot Carl: the act of putting seran-wrap on ones face and proceeding to take a hot steamy shit on the seran-wrap, thus letting them feel the warmth of the poo on their face.
7. Blumpkin: The delicately balanced art of getting your cock sucked while taking a dump.
8. Tahitian Face Mask: A specific sexual act with specifically ordered steps. When a man or woman lies down, and a man or woman places plastic wrap over the face of the person, and the person who warpped up the face takes a shit on the plastic wrap, places another piece of plastic wrap on top (so as to sandwich the shit in-between 2 layers of plastic wrap upon the person’s face), and then punches the plastic wrapped face of the person thus causing it to squish all over and produce the effect of a mask.
9. Dirty Sanchez: when a man and a woman engage in anal sex, then the man takes his penis and rubs it on the girls upper lip leaving a moustache.
10. Cleveland Steamer: when one person craps on another person’s chest and (very important) then sits down and rocks back and forth like a steam roller.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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TNK
Pleasures of Africa



Registered: 01/30/10
Posts: 14,237
Loc: I AM THUNDERBOT
Last seen: 1 month, 18 days
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Re: What is your sexual orientation? [Re: Bitter Cactus]
#21808852 - 06/14/15 11:59 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I often wonder if violence is hard wired in to males during sex as a result of evolution.
-------------------- Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)
Edited by TNK (06/15/15 12:00 AM)
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: What is your sexual orientation? [Re: TNK]
#21808974 - 06/15/15 01:09 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Those are definitely the most popular urban dictionary sex acts, and not the actual most popular sex acts.
Also the Abe Lincoln one is the only one I've heard and that shit was gold. I'm still a little giggly about it.
Also I always heard a hot carl was the other way, you shit on them, and then saran wrap the shit around them.
Idk what it's called but I've given a girl a surprise facial before.
When you're fucking doggy style you pull out and spit on her back so she'll look at you and then unload on her face. Tenouttaten.
I like fucking with girls I have one night stands with, like this one girl I just gave a high five afterwards and left her in my bedroom and went to smoke a cigarette.
My parents never cared about females sleeping over, so I was probably more sexually active as a younger man, but anyways once I had two girls sleep over and we all did 2c-c I think or 2c-b I don't recall which, anyways we we're tripping and shit and by all the weird tripping noises and shit my parents still to this day think I had a three way, they would not fucking stop bringing it up the next day.
Good times. I miss highschool, so much shenanigans.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,521
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 2 hours, 49 minutes
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Re: What is your sexual orientation? [Re: Psychonautica]
#21809360 - 06/15/15 05:51 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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angry dragon
when you are throat fucking someone, and you time it just right so that when you are about to cum you pull your dick out of their throat and angle upward on the next stroke in such that you shoot your load into their sinus and out of their nose.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
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Re: What is your sexual orientation? [Re: Bitter Cactus]
#21809380 - 06/15/15 06:02 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Bitter Cactus said: Next time try the donkey punch.
There's even a movie about it...
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,796
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Re: What is your sexual orientation? [Re: Lucis]
#21809503 - 06/15/15 07:08 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I love everybody but I'm gay between the sheets.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Great Scott
Trigger Lover


Registered: 05/05/03
Posts: 19,797
Loc: Control Grid
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: What is your sexual orientation? [Re: Bitter Cactus]
#21809516 - 06/15/15 07:13 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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You might be pan-sexual. I dig chicks. Men don't make my loins stir in the slightest.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Quote:
BlindSophist said:
Quote:
rxb said:
Quote:
BlindSophist said: Before I started HRT, I was a 27 year old "guy" (note quotation marks) with a hairless chest, barely any facial hair, and as always, a very slight build. It seems likely that my androgen receptors are fucked up at the genetic level. I also have D cups and big hips after just a year of HRT.
So stupid how people think this sort of thing can only be a psychological phenomenon. 
also stupid when people dont recognize that often (or even sometimes) it IS.
i feel like PC has fucked up the counseling process. as you know transitioning is a long hard process, and i think because people try not to "say the wrong thing" there is a step that sometimes gets missed, where by you should explore the stuff that got you to that point before you do it.
sometimes its like when a couple tries to fix a failed marriage with a baby.
work out the shit first, then do the thing thats psychologically taxing as fuck.
I actually did go through (quite pricey) counseling and get a referral to an endocrinologist at UCSF to begin my transition, but that didn't work out for me because that particular endocrinologist didn't take my insurance and didn't work on a sliding scale. It was also pretty damn discouraging when that particular endocrinologist said that the main point of my hormone therapy would be to "grow [me] breasts". In the end it was the informed-consent model at a sliding-scale clinic, which didn't require a letter from a shrink, that enabled me to get proper care.
The system is fucked up no matter how you look at it. In the end, I'm a libertarian, I think people should be allowed to do what the hell they want. It's not right for shrinks and academics to control this sort of thing.
You're not a libertarian if you aint cuttin' the check
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: What is your sexual orientation? [Re: zappaisgod]
#21810873 - 06/15/15 01:58 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Man I'm kind of sad honestly that she's leaving in less than a week. She's very pretty, funny as shit, and a sweetheart. Made me dinner and packed me a lunch for work. Just gave me a change of clothes so she could do my laundry. Took me out to do fun things. She's nicer than most actual girls I've dated haha. About to cook some food as well.
Shit I'd consider seriously dating her and not give a fuck what anybody thought.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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TNK
Pleasures of Africa



Registered: 01/30/10
Posts: 14,237
Loc: I AM THUNDERBOT
Last seen: 1 month, 18 days
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Re: What is your sexual orientation? [Re: Enjoywho]
#21811369 - 06/15/15 04:22 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Enjoywho said: Man I'm kind of sad honestly that she's leaving in less than a week. She's very pretty, funny as shit, and a sweetheart. Made me dinner and packed me a lunch for work. Just gave me a change of clothes so she could do my laundry. Took me out to do fun things. She's nicer than most actual girls I've dated haha. About to cook some food as well.
Shit I'd consider seriously dating her and not give a fuck what anybody thought.
Why on earth would you give two shits about what "people" thought?
People fucking suck.
-------------------- Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: What is your sexual orientation? [Re: TNK]
#21811375 - 06/15/15 04:23 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Ya I wouldn't. Oh well bummer about to head to the lake here in a minute.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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TNK
Pleasures of Africa



Registered: 01/30/10
Posts: 14,237
Loc: I AM THUNDERBOT
Last seen: 1 month, 18 days
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Re: What is your sexual orientation? [Re: Enjoywho]
#21811381 - 06/15/15 04:26 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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That is what is up! Enjoy the lake! It is like fucking 100 degrees here and I'm sweating my ass off.
Been drinking beer since after my job interview at 9:30am this morning, Start training tomorrow, I can't believe these people are actually gonna hire me. 
I need to get laid, either by a man or a female. I totally blew my last date and made a drunken bafoon out of myself, but whateves life goes on.
-------------------- Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)
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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!


Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Re: What is your sexual orientation? [Re: Enjoywho]
#21811386 - 06/15/15 04:27 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Enjoywho said: Ya I wouldn't. Oh well bummer about to head to the lake here in a minute.
She sounds like a real winner, you should keep in touch with her. Maybe it can go somewhere in the long term. Stranger things have happened.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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TNK
Pleasures of Africa



Registered: 01/30/10
Posts: 14,237
Loc: I AM THUNDERBOT
Last seen: 1 month, 18 days
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Quote:
BlindSophist said:
Quote:
Enjoywho said: Ya I wouldn't. Oh well bummer about to head to the lake here in a minute.
She sounds like a real winner, you should keep in touch with her. Maybe it can go somewhere in the long term. Stranger things have happened.
That sounds like my perfect dream, a women with a penis.
Awesome
-------------------- Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)
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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy


Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Trannies do sound nice. They keep the good parts about being a chick but without all the bullshit that you get with them. It honestly seems like the best of both worlds.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Yea the reason she's going to Canada is to get some plastic surgery for her ass and tits even though she's already got nice both. I dunno if she'll have the penis removed. But 
But ya I definitely will she said she'll probably be back in a year or so well see. 
Cool chick man its been really pleasant.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: What is your sexual orientation? [Re: Enjoywho]
#21811411 - 06/15/15 04:33 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Ya I showed her the wife hack video.
"so your telling me she's under a 4 crazy but like an 8 hot? Ya man. Well I'd tread carefully because your talking to a dude"
We had a good laugh over that.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy


Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: What is your sexual orientation? [Re: Enjoywho]
#21811416 - 06/15/15 04:35 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I've touched a trannies tits before and she was pretty smokin bro not gonna lie I would have tapped that.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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Mad_Larkin

Registered: 11/29/07
Posts: 18,606
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Re: What is your sexual orientation? [Re: Bitter Cactus]
#21811429 - 06/15/15 04:37 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Bitter Cactus said: I've touched a trannies tits before and she was pretty smokin bro not gonna lie I would have tapped that.
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TNK
Pleasures of Africa



Registered: 01/30/10
Posts: 14,237
Loc: I AM THUNDERBOT
Last seen: 1 month, 18 days
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Re: What is your sexual orientation? [Re: Bitter Cactus]
#21811432 - 06/15/15 04:38 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Trannies are more than OKAY in my book, I think I'd almost prefer one.
Or maybe that is just a drunken fantasy. Either way man, ENJOY because I would be if I were you. 
Anyone who can't enjoy a women with a penis is just closed minded!!!
-------------------- Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)
Edited by TNK (06/15/15 04:39 PM)
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