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OfflineShroom Kitty
Im just a kitty


Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 553
Loc: Earth Realm
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL *DELETED*
    #21795632 - 06/12/15 12:57 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Post deleted by Shroom Kitty

Reason for deletion: ...



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InvisibleAmanita86
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroom Kitty]
    #21795641 - 06/12/15 01:01 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Do what?


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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InvisibleRan-D
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 12/19/10
Posts: 16,313
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroom Kitty]
    #21795645 - 06/12/15 01:03 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Shroom Kitty said:
IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL




Quote:

Shroom Kitty said:
im going to prison.




Well which one is it?


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OfflineBitter Cactus
reformed bad boy
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroom Kitty]
    #21795646 - 06/12/15 01:03 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Shroom Kitty said:
ok shroomery im not about to go in to detail at this moment but just be aware if I don't log on and tell yall what the fuck is going on im fucked and im going to prison. watch yalls back peace love  mother fuckers.




Who are you?

If you are turning yourself in fill up a condom with some drugs and stick it up your asshole before you go in.

Oh and don't drop the soap.


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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OfflineShroomslip
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I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 16 minutes
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroom Kitty] * 6
    #21795649 - 06/12/15 01:04 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

FUCK THIS SHIT I HATE THESE POSTS

If you're not gonna give details then don't fucking cock tease everyone with stuff like this.. GAWD


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Bitter Cactus] * 2
    #21795650 - 06/12/15 01:04 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Or do..:wellhellothere:


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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OfflineBitter Cactus
reformed bad boy
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Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Amanita86]
    #21795655 - 06/12/15 01:07 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

If you are bisexual or gay you can sell or barter your asshole to gain favor from the other prisoners. You could perhaps get free food items and gain favor from your enemies.

I hope you do well OP.


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 16 minutes
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Bitter Cactus] * 2
    #21795662 - 06/12/15 01:08 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Uh.. no. You'll have some buff dude hating you and beating your ass for being gay all while raping you.

People in prison don't make a lot of sense..


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflineBlack_Sunset
Amateur Anesthesiologist
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Registered: 11/16/08
Posts: 2,451
Loc: Somewhere California
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Bitter Cactus]
    #21795663 - 06/12/15 01:08 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

plot twist op is female


--------------------


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 16 minutes
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroom Kitty]
    #21795678 - 06/12/15 01:14 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Oh I got a tip for you. As soon as you walk into the jail with your new shoes/clothes or whatever, trade that shit off as quickly as you can so you can benefit from it. All that shit will be stolen from you almost as soon as you walk in the door. The second you take your eye off of any of it, it'll be gone. Might as well get something out of losing it.

Tell the guy with the severely worn and torn shoes you'll trade him your new ones for a pack of noodles or something.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleAmanita86
OTD Keymaster
 User Gallery

Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Bitter Cactus]
    #21795691 - 06/12/15 01:18 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

It takes at least 2 bags of hot cheetos to get this ass mister man..

See what I do is on my first day I jump up on the lunch table, rip out a fist full of pubes and start eating them.  First step to running this bitch 101..son


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 16 minutes
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Amanita86] * 1
    #21795701 - 06/12/15 01:21 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

You should try taking a dump on the tray of the biggest dude in there and then beating him with the shitty tray. That really sends a message. Not just "I'm not afraid of anyone" but "I'm a crazy mother fucker who will beat you with feces". The latter of course tends to keep people away.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleshLong
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin Flag
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroomslip] * 1
    #21795721 - 06/12/15 01:28 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Jail "burritos"  :homerdrool:

I always said I'd make one when I got out, but never did..
Take a large plastic bag.
Crush up 3 bags if flaming hot cheetos
And 2 bags of jalapeño chips.
Take 2 slim jims and cut tiny pieces
Throw the shit in to said plastic bag.
Get super hot water and slowly add to bag
Knead the water in to the crumb/slim jim mix until it's a thick paste consistency.
Flatten the mixture into a rectangle about 1/2" to 3/4" inch thick..
cut bag open to expose the concoction.
Add cheezewhiz or nacho cheese on the top from the comercery

There ya have it. Jail "burritos"
Bonus points if you eat it with nacho cheese doritos (if your local jail carries them)

Every cell block has the best burrito chef.. Find him and make friends with immediately


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OfflineKamelToeRodeo
Stranger

Registered: 01/15/15
Posts: 126
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21795722 - 06/12/15 01:29 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Dude I bet op just got fucking raided


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InvisibleshLong
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin Flag
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: KamelToeRodeo] * 4
    #21795728 - 06/12/15 01:30 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

KamelToeRodeo said:
Dude I bet op just got fucking raided



Must've sold an $85 1/8th to the wrong person :haha:


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OfflineShroomslip
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Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 16 minutes
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: shLong]
    #21795735 - 06/12/15 01:33 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Can someone point to me to this post of 85 dollar eighths?


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflineMilkdudTitties
My Nipples Look Like Milk Duds
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/22/09
Posts: 3,796
Loc: USA
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: shLong]
    #21795748 - 06/12/15 01:38 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

shLong said:
Jail "burritos"  :homerdrool:

I always said I'd make one when I got out, but never did..
Take a large plastic bag.
Crush up 3 bags if flaming hot cheetos
And 2 bags of jalapeño chips.
Take 2 slim jims and cut tiny pieces
Throw the shit in to said plastic bag.
Get super hot water and slowly add to bag
Knead the water in to the crumb/slim jim mix until it's a thick paste consistency.
Flatten the mixture into a rectangle about 1/2" to 3/4" inch thick..
cut bag open to expose the concoction.
Add cheezewhiz or nacho cheese on the top from the comercery

There ya have it. Jail "burritos"
Bonus points if you eat it with nacho cheese doritos (if your local jail carries them)

Every cell block has the best burrito chef.. Find him and make friends with immediately



:ugh:

all of those ingredients sound great, until you mix them together


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Offlinepropensity
۞̷ ̶۞̷ ̶
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/06/10
Posts: 11,056
Loc: Bedrock America
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: shLong] * 1
    #21795753 - 06/12/15 01:39 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

shLong said:
Jail "burritos"  :homerdrool:

I always said I'd make one when I got out, but never did..
Take a large plastic bag.
Crush up 3 bags if flaming hot cheetos
And 2 bags of jalapeño chips.
Take 2 slim jims and cut tiny pieces
Throw the shit in to said plastic bag.
Get super hot water and slowly add to bag
Knead the water in to the crumb/slim jim mix until it's a thick paste consistency.
Flatten the mixture into a rectangle about 1/2" to 3/4" inch thick..
cut bag open to expose the concoction.
Add cheezewhiz or nacho cheese on the top from the comercery

There ya have it. Jail "burritos"
Bonus points if you eat it with nacho cheese doritos (if your local jail carries them)

Every cell block has the best burrito chef.. Find him and make friends with immediately



:cannotunsee:


--------------------


۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ www.cactophage.com ۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢
̸ۨ͜۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟Dolphins of Dank۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆


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OfflineBitter Cactus
reformed bad boy
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Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: propensity] * 1
    #21795765 - 06/12/15 01:44 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

OP you should learn to play poker if you don't know how to play. Just play some online poker before you are booked in.

Also eat a massive meal before you go to jail and make sure you are sleepy so that you can just lay down and sleep through the first night easily.


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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InvisibleAmanita86
OTD Keymaster
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: propensity]
    #21795768 - 06/12/15 01:46 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Yea that's not how you do that.


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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InvisibleshLong
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin Flag
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21795773 - 06/12/15 01:48 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomslip said:
Can someone point to me to this post of 85 dollar eighths?



A friend of a friend told me about it in the pics thread.


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InvisibleAmanita86
OTD Keymaster
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Bitter Cactus]
    #21795777 - 06/12/15 01:49 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Bitter Cactus said:
OP you should learn to play poker if you don't know how to play. Just play some online poker before you are booked in.

Also eat a massive meal before you go to jail and make sure you are sleepy so that you can just lay down and sleep through the first night easily.



No, spades is what you need to know.  And you dose up dextro and melatonin..  "TRAYS!!"... and you have to stay above the sheets during day time :crankey:.. fuck jail..


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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InvisibleshLong
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin Flag
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Amanita86]
    #21795787 - 06/12/15 01:52 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Ran-D said:




When I was like 14 a on dial up AOL someone send me a midi file or whatever they were back then and it was this woman blowing a horse and OMG this horse fucking nutted all up in her mouth.. I shit you not, it was like 8 oz of horse cum that came out of her mouth :rofldrunk:


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InvisibleshLong
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin Flag
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: shLong]
    #21795789 - 06/12/15 01:53 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Probably the 1st video I ever downloaded... Good times :vaped:


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InvisibleRan-D
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Registered: 12/19/10
Posts: 16,313
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: shLong]
    #21795793 - 06/12/15 01:54 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

shLong said:
When I was like 14 a on dial up AOL someone send me a midi file or whatever they were back then and it was this woman blowing a horse and OMG this horse fucking nutted all up in her mouth.. I shit you not, it was like 8 oz of horse cum that came out of her mouth :rofldrunk:




Dude, I'm about to go to bed. Now I'm gonna have wet dreams about this shit.


I posted that picture in the wrong thread :facepalm:


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InvisibleshLong
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin Flag
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Ran-D]
    #21795803 - 06/12/15 01:58 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

:lol:
My bad.. Want me to delete?


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InvisibleRan-D
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: shLong] * 1
    #21795810 - 06/12/15 02:01 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Nah this is what you call destiny.


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InvisibleshLong
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin Flag
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Ran-D] * 1
    #21795823 - 06/12/15 02:06 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

So I Googled woman blowing horse to see if I could find that video again.. Wow... Wow.. Fucking wow.. Big mistake.. I found a page with like 200 videos of women fucking horses. This Internet thing is out of control.


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OfflineShroomslip
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Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 16 minutes
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: shLong]
    #21795824 - 06/12/15 02:09 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

shLong said:
So I Googled woman blowing horse to see if I could find that video again.. Wow... Wow.. Fucking wow.. Big mistake.. I found a page with like 200 videos of women fucking horses. This Internet thing is out of control.



You should probably stop internetting if you don't know better than to just google stuff like that..

You're gonna fuck up and wind up on the FBI's watch list.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinepropensity
۞̷ ̶۞̷ ̶
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/06/10
Posts: 11,056
Loc: Bedrock America
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: shLong] * 6
    #21795827 - 06/12/15 02:11 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

shLong said:
So I Googled woman blowing horse to see if I could find that video again.. Wow... Wow.. Fucking wow.. Big mistake.. I found a page with like 200 videos of women fucking horses. This Internet thing is out of control.





--------------------


۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ www.cactophage.com ۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢
̸ۨ͜۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟Dolphins of Dank۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆


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InvisibleRan-D
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Registered: 12/19/10
Posts: 16,313
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21795830 - 06/12/15 02:12 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomslip said:
You're gonna fuck up and wind up on the FBI's watch list.




Like I said, destiny.

I had no idea horse fucking was an FBI priority though.


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OfflineShroomslip
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Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Ran-D]
    #21795834 - 06/12/15 02:15 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Ran-D said:
Quote:

Shroomslip said:
You're gonna fuck up and wind up on the FBI's watch list.




Like I said, destiny.

I had no idea horse fucking was an FBI priority though.



It's not but if you don't know "woman blowing horse" is gonna get a page of 200 videos of women blowing horses imagine what else you could find yourself in.



--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleshLong
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin Flag
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21795839 - 06/12/15 02:18 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I just didn't realize that so many women actually literally fucked horses...

I thought that video was a rare find and it really stood out to me....
Today I learned :themoreyouknow:


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InvisibleAmanita86
OTD Keymaster
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: shLong]
    #21795842 - 06/12/15 02:20 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

So women fucking horses is a thing?


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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InvisibleshLong
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin Flag
Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Amanita86]
    #21795844 - 06/12/15 02:20 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

A big thing :rimshot:


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Amanita86] * 1
    #21795846 - 06/12/15 02:22 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

...are you here to tell me horses are getting laid more often than me too?  This is getting comical.


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Amanita86] * 1
    #21795848 - 06/12/15 02:24 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

If you wanna feel even lower, eels are probably getting laid more than you. I've stumbled across enough of those videos while looking up normal porn to know that it must not be uncommon. There's a lot of weird shit out there.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Amanita86] * 1
    #21795849 - 06/12/15 02:24 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Guess it pays to be a stud :rimshot:


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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Amanita86] * 3
    #21795851 - 06/12/15 02:24 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

i wonder if theres some dude who go to prison just to rape people.
like "im gonna get so much man pussy":creepylurker:


--------------------
EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT



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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21795856 - 06/12/15 02:26 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomslip said:
If you wanna feel even lower, eels are probably getting laid more than you. I've stumbled across enough of those videos while looking up normal porn to know that it must not be uncommon. There's a lot of weird shit out there.



Eels,..alright I'm calling bullshit (even though the smart person in me knows to back off this bet)


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Amanita86]
    #21795860 - 06/12/15 02:28 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Google it :lol: I come across it all the time when I get in the Japanese mood..


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Salomon]
    #21795867 - 06/12/15 02:30 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Salomon said:
i wonder if theres some dude who go to prison just to rape people.
like "im gonna get so much man pussy":creepylurker:



Yea, you know it.  There's people who figure 'out here' is the strange land.  Straight institutionalized dudes..


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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InvisiblePsychonautica
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: shLong]
    #21795925 - 06/12/15 03:16 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

shLong said:
Jail "burritos"  :homerdrool:

I always said I'd make one when I got out, but never did..
Take a large plastic bag.
Crush up 3 bags if flaming hot cheetos
And 2 bags of jalapeño chips.
Take 2 slim jims and cut tiny pieces
Throw the shit in to said plastic bag.
Get super hot water and slowly add to bag
Knead the water in to the crumb/slim jim mix until it's a thick paste consistency.
Flatten the mixture into a rectangle about 1/2" to 3/4" inch thick..
cut bag open to expose the concoction.
Add cheezewhiz or nacho cheese on the top from the comercery

There ya have it. Jail "burritos"
Bonus points if you eat it with nacho cheese doritos (if your local jail carries them)

Every cell block has the best burrito chef.. Find him and make friends with immediately




I was that man. Idk if you've seen my cooking on the outs..

You're from WI so I shouldn't have to explain a Jucy Lucy to some, someone said it was a "regular burger" in my last thead, and also spelled it Juicy Lucy which just...UGHH.
Some steak action (I like my steak blue, it's not under cooked, you just have a vagina if you think it's under cooked)

I still cook jail food on the outs my friend. I'm also 22 year old broke kid so like Ramen, doritos, flaming hot cheetos, whatever is around, some canned chicken, nacho cheese, a bunch of sriracha or other hot sauce and whatever else is in the fridge is a great midnight snack.

This is my outside jail food though, if I'll post my inside recipe too for some nice bricks.

Jail food really isn't that bad. Jail food is HORRIBLE let me clarify.
Jail food MADE FROM COMMISSARY is not that bad. It looks gross but i've made some good as fuck bricks. I didn't even have to use my own commissary, I was that good. Did you ever make a foot cookie?
My recipe for a brick (this isn't the only one I made, most of the chips can change depending on taste) You gotta crush it up (you'll never forget the sound of people throwing packs of ramen on the ground to smash up all day. ALL FUCKING DAY. Anyways, crush the ramen, chips of your choice, I like sweet and spicy doritos, the purple bag, some of the hot pickle juice, (mix with the water so it cooks into and absorbs the juice as well. Add some beef and cheese sticks, (idk how the fuck you got name brand slim jims but I'm sure you just said that instead of beef sticks) but anyways thow that meat in there, or tuna, you could buy hotsauce packs on commissary so you buy a couple of those, add that into the mix, the instant rice if you had it on lock if not, we had like, (you know the bags of tuna? bags not cans.) we had bags of a chili so you use that instead of some of the water so it absorbs and you get beef and chili in the mix that's optional as is the tuna, you can crush up pork rinds if you like pork rinds it makes a good add to it. Whatever else you have on hand, throw that in your bag, add the water (by this point in your incarceration you should know exactly how much water to put in it, if not add the ingredients before the water, if you do it with the water it all gets to the same warmth and the flavors of everything absorbs into the noodles, wrap that shit into a towel so it stays warm (shLong probably knows) and then after it's done, put it on a tortilla and squeeze some jalapeno cheese sauce on top and eat it like a burrito, or if no shells eat it like a normal "brick" as we called them.

I don't cook it in a plastic bag anymore though. But occasionally I'll eat jail food. It's actually really good. Way better than it looks.

We called them "bricks" in Hillsborough county. I've also heard "spreads"

What were they called in your County Hotel? Or we're you in the state montel?


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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OfflineTNK
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Psychonautica] * 1
    #21795943 - 06/12/15 03:28 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I bet you this was just a mlg pro-l33t troll post.

You all just got foo'd


--------------------
Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)


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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: TNK]
    #21795959 - 06/12/15 03:41 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I just heard em called burritos...

I wasn't in long, so I missed some of the finer points, but it was just the recipe I described.
I didn't know people put the mash on tortillas.. Makes sense why they called em burritos now :lol:

Brick sounds like a more fitting name


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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: shLong]
    #21795962 - 06/12/15 03:41 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

And yeah, everything was cheap brand. We did have Macho Man Randy Savage snapping in to any slim jims there


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InvisiblePsychonautica
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: shLong]
    #21795983 - 06/12/15 03:52 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

You should get raisins with oatmeal too, get all your homies to pick out the raisins and give them to you, raisins contain yeast, (using bread is gross and more people get sick off using the bread +  most the yeast in bread is dead) get as MANY raisins as you can, we had oatmeal and raisins a lot for breakfast. Save all your fruit too

Take them raisins and as many sugar packets as you can get, and if you REALLY want too (makes it cloudy and taste gross,) add the bread for more yeast. Add the fruit you've been saving as well, EVERY fruit doesnt matter, applesauce, grapes, whatever you get, let that shit at 70 degrees or as close as you can get for a few weeks or longer the stronger you want it / better you can hide it.

Once it's done, you just made prison hooch. Now you got a hustle. People will usually pay a pack of noodles for a cup, cups are the real size of an ACTUAL CUP in jail, idk about prison I think you get better goodies.But anyways you sell that cup for a noodle they get buzzed, now they tryna get drunk so they given you another pack of noodles for another cup, now they're drunk or starting to get drunk and want more and more and more.

Rake in the commisary and enjoy your hustle. If you wanna survive you gotta hustle.

Not like.. I ever made hooch in jail.. That'd be illegal... A suburban white kid making hooch and selling it around for food? Pfft, no that's for real inmates, an innocent suburban kid would never do that.
:guiltyascharged:


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: shLong]
    #21795986 - 06/12/15 03:55 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

shLong said:
I just heard em called burritos...

I wasn't in long, so I missed some of the finer points, but it was just the recipe I described.
I didn't know people put the mash on tortillas.. Makes sense why they called em burritos now :lol:

Brick sounds like a more fitting name





Did you call them burritos even without being wrapped in a shell?

They're defo bricks if you make them right, I mean even without a shell they hold their shape like a burrito would but without a shell it looks like a brick, it's heavy , its culindrical and shaped like aburrito but it's got the weight of a brick for shure.

Idk why they're called spreads, i saw that on Lockup on MSNBC ever since I got out I love watching that show.

I miss my Cellies man... One went off and did a year and a day in prison, and one got out and called me and we kicked it and shit but I lost his number

Jail aint even that bad imo but i was at a really nice jail at the Hillsborough county jail, I been to Orient and Falkenburg. Falkenburg is way better.


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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Offlinemakaveli8x8
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Psychonautica] * 1
    #21795995 - 06/12/15 04:01 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

you should make jail brochure guides and become a shroomery sponser and sell them in the market place


--------------------
We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.


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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: makaveli8x8]
    #21795998 - 06/12/15 04:06 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

makaveli8x8 said:
you should make jail brochure guides and become a shroomery sponser and sell them in the market place




Honestly I probably could man, all the old folks loved me and I made friends with them super fast because I'm young and they stood up and we're my in jail fatherly figures so I learned so much tricks.

I can make dice out of toilet paper and water. I can teach you how to beat shake downs without using your ass ( i kinda wanna keep that a secret tho just incase a LEO stumbles on it) I know how to turn cd players you'd get of commisary into tatto guns "super low speed, but it works. I know how to build a super low temp (depending how many batteries you can get your hands on, but they sell them on commisary to power cd players and radios, anwyays a super low temp sautering iron to repair electronics, and THAT makes you MAD money in commissary,, people put away love their music, if you can fix it you make so much money.

The only problem is I'm in a dorm at falkenburg not a cell so it was hard as fuck.

We had people who'd pick pocket the deputies (correctional officers are prison) jail is deputies from the sherrifs department, but anyway these kids could pickpocket him without him knowing, take his radio, take the bateries and then when he was walking around checking bunks drop it off at his desk like he took it off and set it donw.

I learned so much in my 90 day stay at the County Hotel.


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21796006 - 06/12/15 04:14 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

We called them swolls, Im not really sure how you spell it but like swell, past tense, swoles, shit I guess thats how you spell it swole.  Different recipe but same principle.  Ive yet to make the pruno.  Im still a little nervous about poisioning myself with that one.  Im not sure where the good alcohol/rotten food poisioning threshold is..


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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InvisiblePsychonautica
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Amanita86]
    #21796040 - 06/12/15 04:42 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

"Swell" In my County Lock up, was what the noodles did, like you gotta let the noodles swell up before you add the rest of the ingredients to make a brick and if you pour out the noodle water you're a scrub, you gottta know exactly how mcuh water it takes just to have a TINY bit left over for the rest of the ingredietns to abosrb and swell. if you add too much and drain it off you're wasting flavor. you gotta get that shit right.

IF you fuck it up though don't pour the extra noodle water out, pour it in a cup, add a tiny but of seasoning to it, or no seasoning at all and drink. it tastes fucking great honestly. compared to jail food plain noodle water or noodle broth if you ad ramen seasoning is flame as fuck. and drinking it takes away your hunger.

So if you got a homie with no commisary but you don't got a lot to give you break him off a few bites of the brick and give him the noodle water. Pretty good shit, I drank the noodle water broth all the time to cover my hunger.

My jail was 2000 calories a day or less, enough food for a 140 lb sedentary man.

You know how many 140 pound sedentary men are in jail? None because they got raped to death.

Also the rape thing is a mith and so is the drop the soap at least in jail idk about prison but no one rapes in jail, its all short sentences or they know theyre goin up the road so they just chill (up the road means prison from jail)

I did 3 days in a prison before getting transfered because I told the lady at the desk that I would punt her in the cooch if she didnt't hurry the fuck up so I spent 3 days in a suicide dress then got xfered over to a jail and not a prison so I cant tell you waht thats like

other than they feed you 10 million times better in prison than jail


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21796067 - 06/12/15 05:00 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

That's because there's too many lifers in prison who have nothing to lose and will kill over even the simplest shit, like the dogshit they give you in jail.

I was locked up and one of the meals in rotation was pork chops. Which sounds fucking amazing to have in jail, except they'd somehow figured out how to cook the fucking things so the meat was literally harder than the bone. No exaggeration. About the only nutrition I could get out of the damn things was cracking the bones with my teeth and eating the marrow. The meat itself was impossible to chew.

The only day we ate good was "june teenth" or whatever the fuck it's called that I'd never heard of before being locked up. That meal was catered.. Everyone got far more than they could eat. Ribs, chicken, and at least 5 different sides..


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


Edited by Shroomslip (06/12/15 05:02 AM)


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InvisiblePsychonautica
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21796077 - 06/12/15 05:14 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I know that's no exxaguration bro, ive been inside, did you guys ever have "burgers" ?

it's a "burger" the size of a jimmy deans sauasge and no bun, every meal everyday came with 2 pieces of bread, so with this meal you got jewed out of food because you had to use the bread for the burger and it was less filling for sure.

Jail aint that ahrd tho, like summer cmap for adults.

I'm curious though, if you want someone to talk to you should PM me baout your situation, i'll wait until i sober up unless you want mroe jail advice, i can tell you all kinds of tricks

if you can get someone on the outs to put money on your phone (seperate from commissary in my jail) you can sell the phone calls for double what your peoples bought it for. like one phone call to local costed like less than a dollar and you can get 2 noodles or whatever you want,

shits not measured in price we just call it items an item is whatever the price of noodles are so 2 items can be noodles, or one package of tuna, or whatever etc etc. I always went with 2 noodles than a single "2 item" if that makes sense. I'm drunk. so like expensive shit like honey buns are worth 2 items, chips are woth two items etc etc. there's no monitary value and 2 items doesnt mean 2 items, don't let a fucker take you because you owe him two items, that means two items, or one thing the same price as noodles,

Or even enough sauces to equal the price of noodles, sauces can be anywhere from 10 to 20 cents, and a pack of ramen in jail was like 75 cents
so 7 sauces of 10 cent value = one item, and i'm to fucked up to do the math on how many 20 cent items but you get the gist.


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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OfflineKamelToeRodeo
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21796087 - 06/12/15 05:20 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Dude didn't you post a pic on pic of pubbers thread? Bro you look about 16. Lol no disrespect but you do lol


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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: KamelToeRodeo]
    #21796089 - 06/12/15 05:22 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Yes I did post a pic on that, but no, I'm 22, if you read the thread. I know I look 16, peolpe someone guessed 23 when I asked him to guess how old I am.

I get carded to buy cigs and sometimes they don't let me buy alcohol but whatever man. I don't care.

Don't you have like 20 posts to not be judging members here?


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21796097 - 06/12/15 05:25 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

No burgers. It was almost exclusively shit food. Pork chops was one of the very few things that even sounded appetizing. The one and only exception was when it was sausage with red beans and rice day. The rice and beans weren't that great, but the sausage was good. Then again it's kinda hard to fuck up sausage.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflineLuSiD enthusiast
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21796099 - 06/12/15 05:25 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomslip said:
Quote:

shLong said:
So I Googled woman blowing horse to see if I could find that video again.. Wow... Wow.. Fucking wow.. Big mistake.. I found a page with like 200 videos of women fucking horses. This Internet thing is out of control.



You should probably stop internetting if you don't know better than to just google stuff like that..

You're gonna fuck up and wind up on the FBI's watch list.



Have you guys not heard of rule 34? Idk if eel porn was real before you mentioned it, but according to rule 34 it now is.

Rule 34: If it exists, there is porn for it.

Just stop now before you give anybody inspiration to film any porn.


--------------------
I'm addicted to coke, weed, booze, ludes and speed.
Not LSD, you can't get addicted to LSD, it was built by scientists.

I ain't got no demons that gonna get woke.


In erowid we trust.

Just take your damn pills and don't ask any questions, you'll be fine.


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OfflineKamelToeRodeo
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21796100 - 06/12/15 05:26 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Didn't mean to offend you bro. And yea ..i don't average 71 post a dat like some people here . Lol


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21796105 - 06/12/15 05:29 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Yea, noodles and cheetos, day be swole.. what tricks you got Im not thinking of?


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: KamelToeRodeo]
    #21796107 - 06/12/15 05:30 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

KamelToeRodeo said:
Didn't mean to offend you bro. And yea ..i don't average 71 post a dat like some people here . Lol



What's up n00B, I like your name.  What are you about?


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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InvisiblePsychonautica
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: KamelToeRodeo]
    #21796109 - 06/12/15 05:31 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

lmao I like how you can tell by my typos how much drunker i'm getting as time goes by hahaha.

Nature you the shit, but yo're a terrible influence lemme tell you dat.
Quote:

Shroomslip said:
No burgers. It was almost exclusively shit food. Pork chops was one of the very few things that even sounded appetizing. The one and only exception was when it was sausage with red beans and rice day. The rice and beans weren't that great, but the sausage was good. Then again it's kinda hard to fuck up sausage.



yeah we had dirty rice too, I think there was "meat" in it, but I'm not sure, it was one of the best meals you could get just because it was filling.

Once a month we got fried chicken but I never aate it, not to be racist but the black folks would trade 4 items for a hot tray of it, we got two trays a hot and a cold, cold was veggies fruit butter and bread, hot was the meal and maybe some beans, or potatoes or grits, so I sold my shit everytime for those for soups, and then on days people didn't like dinner I could sell my soup for a hot AND cold dinner tray, fried chicken day was my fave day of the month.

Quote:

KamelToeRodeo said:
Didn't mean to offend you bro. And yea ..i don't average 71 post a dat like some people here . Lol



nah didn't offend me, i gave you a five as a benefit of the doubt you weren't gonna troll me as a welcome to the forums. I finished my contract and had a whole week off of work so all i been doin' is gettin fucked up and shooting the shit with my homies.

Welcome to shroomery even though I'm 21 posts late. I know I look 16 and that's cool to say but some people seriously report and harrass me for looking like I do .


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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InvisiblePsychonautica
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: KamelToeRodeo]
    #21796113 - 06/12/15 05:35 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

KamelToeRodeo said:
Dude didn't you post a pic on pic of pubbers thread? Bro you look about 16. Lol no disrespect but you do lol




I'd post my mugshots (got two, got locked up twice over dumb shit) missed a court date, and once for my actual charge which was dropped but it took 90 days to see a court room to get it dropped.

But If I did that you'd find out too much about me, pretty sure its got the last 4 of my social, my birthday, and my parnets name if you try hard enough so I'm not about that

plus i aint gotta prove shit to nobody, a lot of people like me here, less people hate me, but the haterrs are the motivators son,


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21796116 - 06/12/15 05:37 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I remember all to well trading good stuff for massive amounts of less desirable food.. :lol: You're always fucking hungry in jail so you tend to fill up when you can, or the smart person does anyways. I could trade one bowl of cereal for an entire weeks worth of vegetables/lima beans. Trade a few bowls and I was never hungry. Those bowls of cereal don't do shit anyways. Once I got trustee status and started being the one delivering trays and shit I could walk away with 9 bowls of cereal.

Jail is fun in some ways. It's not a place I'd want to be, but for some stupid reason I still have nostalgia about it. Good life experience. Really makes you appreciate freedom.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21796125 - 06/12/15 05:39 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Oh for sure, people don't care for shit about their beans / veggies / fruit,

I can get fruits and veggies for like 2 weeks for one thing of soup just mix those in with my already had soup and I was eatin good as fuck

You are ALWAYS hungry in jail even when you got a hustle you gotta ration that shit out.

My 3 days in prison waiting to get sent to jail (no room, i was picked up closer to the prison, idk why) we're WAY WAY better, got twice if not 3 times the food, and it didn't taste too bad.


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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Offlinestratocast
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21796200 - 06/12/15 06:50 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

County jail isnt so bad. Its like a shitty little vacation. We called our burrito/bricks breaks or brakes. Im not sure how you spell it. We also had drinks called roxies which was like coffee and crystal light and cool aid mixed with hot cinnamon candy balls and jolly ranchers. When the back of the tv remote control broke off someone used a deodorant label as tape to hold the batteries in. Someone filled trash can bags with water to use as dumbbells for curls. People are resourceful.


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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21796411 - 06/12/15 08:33 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Psychonautica said:
Some steak action (I like my steak blue, it's not under cooked, you just have a vagina if you think it's under cooked)





Dude, no offense, but I think we both know you like your steak blue because it makes you feel cool.


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Amanita86]
    #21796437 - 06/12/15 08:40 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Amanita86 said:
Quote:

Bitter Cactus said:
OP you should learn to play poker if you don't know how to play. Just play some online poker before you are booked in.

Also eat a massive meal before you go to jail and make sure you are sleepy so that you can just lay down and sleep through the first night easily.



No, spades is what you need to know.  And you dose up dextro and melatonin..  "TRAYS!!"... and you have to stay above the sheets during day time :crankey:.. fuck jail..




When I went to jail we mostly played cribbage. I'm a pretty damn good cribbage player now. :lol:


--------------------
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Enjoywho]
    #21796582 - 06/12/15 09:31 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Where is OP???:popcorn:


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

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Offlinestratocast
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #21796666 - 06/12/15 09:54 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Thayendanegea said:
Where is OP???:popcorn:



Probably in the klink.


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OfflineKamelToeRodeo
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Amanita86]
    #21796982 - 06/12/15 11:19 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Amanita86 said:
Quote:

KamelToeRodeo said:
Didn't mean to offend you bro. And yea ..i don't average 71 post a dat like some people here . Lol



What's up n00B, I like your name.  What are you about?





Lol wud up. I'm no noob. I have been at this for a little but now. I have some grows under my belt. I just don't post that much .


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OfflineSoulidarity
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: KamelToeRodeo]
    #21797266 - 06/12/15 12:26 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

So wattagwan in this thread?


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InvisibleAstral Pain
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Soulidarity]
    #21797819 - 06/12/15 02:30 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

thread started with the intent to get some attention. Look at me!!! ......bye


--------------------
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out"               
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Astral Pain]
    #21797851 - 06/12/15 02:39 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Fuck all the jailfood recipes I think kitty might actually be in jail. :feelsbadman:


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InvisibleAstral Pain
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Astral Pain]
    #21797869 - 06/12/15 02:43 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Nobody wants that, but details would have made it a thread useful to op other than attention.


--------------------
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out"               
                -Bill Hicks-

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InvisiblePsychonautica
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: r00tuuu123]
    #21797871 - 06/12/15 02:44 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Yeah? So why fuck the recipes. We'd be helping him out if he got a chance to read them.


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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Offliner00tuuu123
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21797905 - 06/12/15 02:52 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Psychonautica said:
Yeah? So why fuck the recipes. We'd be helping him out if he got a chance to read them.


I think Kittie is a girl but we all should get together and write a jailhouse cookbook.


--------------------
:kingcrankey: Please report me to a Mod for hurting your punk ass hippie feelings :flipthebird: And all time Champion thread killer.:thatsayes:


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InvisiblePsychonautica
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: r00tuuu123]
    #21797918 - 06/12/15 02:54 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Jail Food and stoner college kid food aren't that different.

My cell was bigger than most dorm rooms, too.


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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Invisiblememes
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: shLong]
    #21797953 - 06/12/15 03:01 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

shLong said:
Jail "burritos"  :homerdrool:

I always said I'd make one when I got out, but never did..
Take a large plastic bag.
Crush up 3 bags if flaming hot cheetos
And 2 bags of jalapeño chips.
Take 2 slim jims and cut tiny pieces
Throw the shit in to said plastic bag.
Get super hot water and slowly add to bag
Knead the water in to the crumb/slim jim mix until it's a thick paste consistency.
Flatten the mixture into a rectangle about 1/2" to 3/4" inch thick..
cut bag open to expose the concoction.
Add cheezewhiz or nacho cheese on the top from the comercery

There ya have it. Jail "burritos"
Bonus points if you eat it with nacho cheese doritos (if your local jail carries them)

Every cell block has the best burrito chef.. Find him and make friends with immediately







is this real?  this is amazing.


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InvisiblePsychonautica
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: memes]
    #21797958 - 06/12/15 03:03 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

As a fellow institutionalized man, yes, it is indeed real. We did make shit like that.

I posted a few "burrito/brick/spread/i forgot the other name" recipes as well.

They don't taste as bad as they sound, I still eat some of them on the outside from time to time.


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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InvisibleGottaloveacid
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21797996 - 06/12/15 03:14 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

OP was so fucked that he thought he was going to jail. What was fucking him you say? Hmm, probably some sort of stim or maybe a high THC sativa


--------------------
   
:mushroom2::mushroom2: The greatest story ever told is the story that never ends!:mushroom2::mushroom2:

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OfflinePatlal
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroom Kitty]
    #21798100 - 06/12/15 03:35 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Shroom Kitty said:
ok shroomery im not about to go in to detail at this moment but just be aware if I don't log on and tell yall what the fuck is going on im fucked and im going to prison. watch yalls back peace love  mother fuckers.




You flashed your weewee in the playground didn't you?


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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Patlal]
    #21798114 - 06/12/15 03:38 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Must of answered that guy who was PMing people for shrooms yesterday.

"Where's the shrooms bruh, my dealers asleep bruh"


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InvisiblePsychonautica
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: SirShroomsAlott]
    #21798115 - 06/12/15 03:39 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

OP should have given us name and birthday so we could look them up and send them goodies on the inside.

I know that's what I'm gonna do if I get locked up again, I'll let yall know so you can find me and send me shitty hatemail
Quote:

SirShroomsAlott said:
Must of answered that guy who was PMing people for shrooms yesterday.

"Where's the shrooms bruh, my dealers asleep bruh"



:ilold:


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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OfflineShroom Kitty
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Psychonautica] * 1
    #21807337 - 06/14/15 05:37 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

ok guys you mother fuckers are crazy to start off with . this will be a long write but it was pretty intense for me at the moment. sorry i haven't been around a couple of days. i skipped town for a bit but now im back. ok heres the story.




Thursday night i was chillen and dosed some b+ my buddy was telling me to do the caps and nothing but because he wanted to know if they were stronger. some i get out 3.5 dose and go chill out to some xbox one. while playing some dying light i was out of my mind. the caps definitely kicked my ass. i was having a good fucking time here at my apartment by myself. then out of nowhere mid trip i here something pop and then rain sound. i looked at my window and i couldn't even see out of it. i rush to my livingroom window and it wasn't even raining . i was totally mind fucked at this point. i run out side and see water just pouring out of a pipe by my window that is connected to the building. i was like fuck! turned around and noticed three cop cars running with there lights off. my heart sunk. i have heard about this shit before . they fake these leaks to get you out of the place so they can technically gain entry. well at least in my head i was caught. its not the fact that i was tripping . more of the fact that i had a quarter pound of mushrooms in my apartment lol. as i began to act like i didn't notice i rushed quickly to my door and closed it behind me. all this shit ran through my head. i could have swore i heard someone behind me trying to get me. like why was those cops there ? did someone know i had these mushrooms here? were they there because i was being to loud? i couldn't make sense of it. now keep in mind i was mid trip and i was frying off my ass.. i didn't know what to do once i got in side. i didn't think i made it obvious that i had saw them there. i ran into my grow area and started trying to get rid of shit. but where. it was way to much shit to flush. i was fucked in my head. i knew that if they had a search warrant they would have just kicked the door in but in my drug induced mind they were on their way to go get one because there little plan didn't work. i called my girl. and she sorta calmed me down about a lot of shit. i had already wrote this post at this point. the cops were trying to look into my windows shining lights. i had no idea what the fuck was going on. i layed on the floor just thinking about prison. and about how my name was going to be all over the news and i would lose everything i cared about. it was a really sobering experience. as i was laying on the floor i heard the cops turning the door knob. i almost wanted to say fuck off that they had no right to be trying to just come in but i was so fucking scared out of my mind. so about 2 hours later i stop hearing everything. no cops no banging out side. i could see where one cop was parked . i could barley see the Tahoe. it sat out there for another 30 minutes after that. i finally started to come down to the point that i had a plan. i snuck outside check all side of my building and everything was quite . i then proceeded to take the next hour dismantling and throwing away everything from my grow op. i got everything but my mushie out of the apartment. it sucks because my grow was headed for a killer second flushes. i wrote this post because i wanted to at least say goodbye to you guys. most of you guys are cool as shit. i know you guys are gonna clown on me but i don't care. that night changed my fucking life guys. im gonna lay low for a bit.  and just to add im still at a loss at why the water line broke. i mean really becuae that shit was still leaking when i had left out of town that morning..


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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroom Kitty]
    #21807348 - 06/14/15 05:40 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

So basically you flipped out & got super paranoid. Has happened to me on shrooms before as well.


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OfflineShroom Kitty
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Dark_Star]
    #21807359 - 06/14/15 05:43 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

dude idk what happened that night. i honestly hope that's all it was :lookoverthere:


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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroom Kitty]
    #21807362 - 06/14/15 05:44 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Drugs are not worth losing your freedom for.  Not only that, but having a drug charge (especially a felony drug charge) will limit your options later in life.  Good luck and i wish you the best.


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OfflineShroom Kitty
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: sprinkles]
    #21807371 - 06/14/15 05:46 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

thanks man.and yea that's what was mainly running through my head. i have some really good things going on in my life


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Offlinezappaisgod
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroom Kitty]
    #21807471 - 06/14/15 06:14 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

If you haven't been arrested yet you are not likely to have a problem unless you gave some to a snitch.


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InvisiblezZZz
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroom Kitty]
    #21807519 - 06/14/15 06:27 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

That's strange. I wonder what happened.. Maybe they had the wrong door?..


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InvisibleRan-D
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Dark_Star]
    #21807603 - 06/14/15 06:52 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Dark_Star said:
So basically you flipped out & got super paranoid.




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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Ran-D]
    #21807613 - 06/14/15 06:54 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

It's a little more than just being paranoid if three units roll up to hang out..


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:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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Invisiblekr0nik0
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Amanita86]
    #21807987 - 06/14/15 08:21 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

From what I understood it was in front of an apartment complex or some sort of building...I could be wrong though.

I don't blame OP for getting paranoid. I get the same way when I see the blue lights flashing while tripping even if I know it has nothing to do with me. I just don't understand what would make him think that the cops were after him because he had a little shroom grow going and a baggie full of dried ones. Unless he was selling them of course...Or running his mouth off to people that he grows them.


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“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”



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OfflineShroom Kitty
Im just a kitty


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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: kr0nik0]
    #21808031 - 06/14/15 08:32 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

kr0nik0 said:
From what I understood it was in front of an apartment complex or some sort of building...I could be wrong though.

I don't blame OP for getting paranoid. I get the same way when I see the blue lights flashing while tripping even if I know it has nothing to do with me. I just don't understand what would make him think that the cops were after him because he had a little shroom grow going and a baggie full of dried ones. Unless he was selling them of course...Or running his mouth off to people that he grows them.





there is only 2 people who know i grow them and one lives 350 miles away . i just freaked out because of how much time i could have gotten. imagine if i would have opened the door bro. im just counting my lucky stars. i live in an apartment and i came home early the other day and they were in my apartment fixing some lines. i showed up and jumped their asses for not calling me first. that was one of the main reasons for freaking out . im just glad my worst nightmare didn't come true. and i thank yall for responding. even if some of yall were clowing haha. i guess i can add this one to one of my crazy life stories  :waitwhat:


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OfflineDetached
You know where...


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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroom Kitty]
    #21808069 - 06/14/15 08:43 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

That sounds like straight up drug-induced paranoia... I've never heard of a cop tricking someone by fucking with their gutters to get them outside.

But they were trying to look in your windows? Was your apartment the only one they were showing interest in?

They could have been responding to a possible break-in or suspicious activity.. Hard to say. I would have went outside and asked what the fuck was going on... if I wasn't tripping my ass off


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OfflineShroom Kitty
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Detached]
    #21808357 - 06/14/15 09:49 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

lol most definitely bro. that's the only reason I didn't. but lets say you were not tripping. but had 15 years of prison In a bag in your apartment. you go out there ..they have ever right to go in and make sure you are not the one breaking in. or the guy isn't in your apartment. trust me dude riding it out was the best thing I could have done


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Invisiblekr0nik0
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroom Kitty]
    #21808425 - 06/14/15 09:58 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Shroom Kitty said:
Quote:

kr0nik0 said:
From what I understood it was in front of an apartment complex or some sort of building...I could be wrong though.

I don't blame OP for getting paranoid. I get the same way when I see the blue lights flashing while tripping even if I know it has nothing to do with me. I just don't understand what would make him think that the cops were after him because he had a little shroom grow going and a baggie full of dried ones. Unless he was selling them of course...Or running his mouth off to people that he grows them.





there is only 2 people who know i grow them and one lives 350 miles away . i just freaked out because of how much time i could have gotten. imagine if i would have opened the door bro. im just counting my lucky stars. i live in an apartment and i came home early the other day and they were in my apartment fixing some lines. i showed up and jumped their asses for not calling me first. that was one of the main reasons for freaking out . im just glad my worst nightmare didn't come true. and i thank yall for responding. even if some of yall were clowing haha. i guess i can add this one to one of my crazy life stories  :waitwhat:




Right on. I'm happy your worst nightmare didn't happen either.
I live in a condo where if anything inside my place goes wrong while I'm not home, the building manager is allowed to come in here without notice.

In fact it just happened last month when my water heater broke and flooded my place. For that reason I can't grow mushrooms here (or anything else illegal). Thankfully I'm in the process of selling this place and move into a house. I can't wait. :smile:


--------------------

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”



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InvisiblePsychonautica
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroom Kitty]
    #21808428 - 06/14/15 09:59 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

The shined lights into your apartment because you ran outside saw cops driving by, probably for an unrelated matter and immediately ran inside after seeing them. That's suspicious as fuck. If you've ever going to talk to cops at your house you want to do exactly that, they tried to do a "talk and knock" at my house once and that's all I did was open the door, step outside, and close the door behind me. They don't have a warrant in those moments, but they hope that when you open the door they can see a reason to enter, but if you're not a silly fucker with your house and have everything at least away from the front door, if not somewhat hidden they can't do shit.

If they had a warrant they we're going to kick down your door anyways so running inside was pointless.

But, you we're trippin' so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.


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The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroom Kitty]
    #21808444 - 06/14/15 10:02 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

You made a good decision. I've tossed mushrooms for a lot less. One time mescaline had me believing mushrooms were evil and I composted at least a pound of cyans mid trip.


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OfflineShroom Kitty
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Registered: 02/12/15
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21808476 - 06/14/15 10:06 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

lol I didn't run bro..im not stupid. I just put my head down and walked fast. who knows bro honestly . that could be one possibility


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OfflineShroom Kitty
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: zappaisgod]
    #21808485 - 06/14/15 10:08 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

zappaisgod said:
If you haven't been arrested yet you are not likely to have a problem unless you gave some to a snitch.





I only deal with 3 people. that's why I was fraking out . I think I was probably just to loud and at that moment they showed up there was a water leak at my house..idk bro..but what ever it was it was intense


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Re: IM SO FUCKED IM GOING TO JAIL [Re: Shroom Kitty]
    #21808517 - 06/14/15 10:14 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Sure as shit would have ruined my trip! Responsibility just sucks when you're tripping. If I trip at home, it's always best to walk away from the house and go for a long walk.


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